The Fallacy of Reasoning with An Irrational Person

 

Today I am thankful that I realized the fallacy of reasoning with an irrational person.

 

 

I called the lawyer crying.  I didn't listen to him.  I thought I could put up with the abuse a little longer and outsmart my ex. 

 

My message is probably mostly sniffles and I'm going to bet it is not understandable.  If he's lucky, he'll hear the golden words.

 

"You were right all along! I should have taken your advice!! "

 

Thank goodness for Caller ID.

 

The lawyer was right.  I can't tell you what he said without breaking confidentiality.

 

 

But - I didn't do what he said to do. 

 

 

I'm paying for it....

 

big time! 

 

 

I'm living in the middle tent of a three ring circus. 

 

 

I'm not performing tricks for the ringmaster. 

 

 

HE IS PISSED!!

 

Uh, oh. 

 

My ability to puff myself up, glare, and intimidate men probably comes from my experience with my ex. 

 

The other night I met a guy named Gary.  His last name is the same as the name brand of most of the merchandise Costco carries. 

 

Mr. Gary K. is a threatening lunatic.  He tried to threaten a Libertarian off the ballot.  He made bizarre gestures at me.  Then he tried to heckle my friend.  Then he stepped forward, got a little too loud, a little too animated, and started pointing his finger, so I stepped in front of him so he'd back off.

 

Well, old Gary didn't like that.  He told me he was angry because he buys into the myth that Libertarians steal votes from his favorite Republican politicians.  Some of them are my friends.  So, I asked him what he was doing to help get his favorite candidates back on the ballot and help them win. 

 

He said he wouldn't bother to help his fellow Republicans unless I could promise to keep the Libertarians off the ballot. 

 

In my view, that is akin to cheating!!! 

 

Fat Chance Bucko!!! 

 

He became angry when I suggested that he consider being supportive of his chosen candidates.  He was quite physical about it. 

 

Because of Gary and a couple of his cohorts, I just pulled out of a campaign to help one of these Republicans from my home town.  I'm sorry but I'm tired of being terrorized by his loony fans.  I tried to get him more help and campaign contributions but if his fans are that nuts...I can't.   This is the third time I've dealt with this from one of his people.  This third guy was INSANE!

 

I did get assurances from the Republican party that this man was just a "yapper" who didn't know what he was talking about.  I'm still not going to help them until I get some kind of proof that they won't try to keep third parties off of the ballot should they win the majority. 

 

I've heard this too much.  In fact, a former Mayor from Rhode Island gave a speech that night and said the same damn thing - he wants Libertarians off of the ballot.  Well, screw him!  He can have another eight years of Demoncrats until his party learns how to market itself and win elections in a fair manner. 

 

And their passionate party members should invest in their candidates with campaign contributions and volunteer hours before demanding to silence third parties. 

 

At this point, I have no money or no time for any of them until they stop talking like lunatics. 

 

No matter how crazy that Gary K. fellow got, I WASN'T AFRAID.  In fact, I glared at him and called him ignorant.  He went across the room and tried glaring at me.  I glared back and he dropped his head, crossed his arms, and stood there with crossed legs for most of the night! 

 

You know you've won with a man when he stands with crossed legs!!  

 

This guy was crazy but I've seen crazier. 

In fact, I've lived with a crazier guy for over 20 years.

 

The sad thing is that this Gary K. went after my ex today on Facebook.  He doesn't know we are related.  Oh, this Gary guy ought to leave well enough alone!! 

 

That must be interesting, two nut jobs going after each other.  I blocked both of them, so I'll never see the fun. 

 

Tonight I tried to reason with my ex. 

 

When is the most convenient time for me to move out? 

 

He picked up the phone and made a phone call rather than answer me. 

 

Okay....I told him that he doesn't get a choice anymore. 

 

He did come upstairs to talk to me. 

 

I told him that he was nearly arrested this morning but a Sheriff saved him from that fate.  The city here is suing this Sheriff's office because they turn away petty, non-violent offenders.  So, this is going to be interesting.

 

He told me to leave the local cops out of it.  I think he is right.  If I called them, my ex would get jailed just because our city has made a ton of money doing that.  It is refreshing meeting a lawman who isn't interested in putting cuffs on everyone he meets. 

 

But I did read up on the new domestic violence laws.  They are insane!  If he yells and a neighbor calls 911, he's toast!  His life is ruined. 

 

I showed him the new laws. 

 

I told my ex to explain the stalking to me so we could head it off at the pass.  If Shannon hurts me, he'll go to jail if he can't prove it was her. 

 

I caught him in so many lies that I had to meta model him.  Eventuallly, he had to tell me the truth. 

 

He would call his sister or his cousin Rhonda to initiate the stalking.  If he complained, Rhonda or Shannon would act on it and try to intimidate me into behaving the way he wanted me to behave. 

 

Rhonda was jealous that we got married.  There was some kind of relationship between them but he won't go into details.  When he quit talking to Rhonda, he used her sister Stephanie as a go-between. 

 

Oh....

 

And, yes, he did ask them to hunt down my high school sweetheart in 2004 to return things he found in the closet when he nosing around my art supplies left over from high school. 

 

The visiting stalkers (Shannon and Doug) Tom and I endured in 2011 could be due to that or due to my ex complaining that I was having lunch with a man.  Five minutes before I walked away from Tom, my phone rang.  I didn't anwer.  I left.  Shannon's boyfriend (Doug) harassed me on the street.  I laughed at him and checked my phone messages. 

My ex called because he knew something had happened to me and he wanted to make sure I was okay!

He called before Doug approached me!!!

He knew!!! 

Then, I was informed that Doug went to my office building and terrorized the eldery tenants. 

That's what has caused the majority of the problems for me.  My ex's family likes to harass third parties.  It is hard to deal with that.  Me?  I laugh at them.  Other people don't. 

 

I feel that the stalking has ruined my life! 

 

I have been so afraid of having lunch with men than when a well-known author flew here and asked me to lunch so we could discuss Pagan rituals leading to personal growth on a subconscious level, I declined out of fear of the stalking. 

 

I find the situation a tad bit ironic.  This man and I were discussing how worrying brings about those circumstances we fear.  I told him about a group of Russian Pagans who have come up with their own version of magick that states that we should worry about all the eustress that success will bring. 

Rather than focus on my stalker, I should worry about other things. 

 

What will happen when my divorce is final and I have to decide the best way to blow my friend's...uh...mind? 

 

What will happen when I get my dream job and have to hire a neighbor to check on the kids? 

What color do I want my Mercedes to be?  Gray or Purple? 

 

That kind of thing. 

 

The irony of this is that I was worried about Shannon doing something crazy because I was talking to a man.  Lo' and behold, she tried to break into the house within a matter of days.  I know it was a first Friday because she freaked me out so much that I missed a friend's exhibit.  I was not happy!  

 

So.....we get what we worry about. 

Would you like another example? 

Well....the two weeks my friend was gone, I let my imagination go places it shouldn't have gone. 

He came back.  Four days later, I took him to a boring event.  All he did was squirm.  It's funny, when two sex-starved forty-somethings squirm - all you hear is their joints crack!  Well...maybe that was me with the popping hip and knee.  Honestly, he's cute enough to have lots of girlfriends, so I'm not sure about the starving part. 

I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that popping joints could very well be a middle age mating call! 

I'm sorry. That was rude.  If my friend were to see that, he'd chastise me for being disrespectful.  I'm sorry. 

Next time, I'll warm up first and take an Aleve!! 

 

It's cute, though.  I think that situation came about because I was thinking about all the wrong (or right) things. 

 

Trust me....those Russians are on to something BIG!!  

 

I think this author could have presented it in a way that would have changed lives.  I wanted him to get in contact with the person who shared the idea with me. All I have is an email she sent to me.  I lost touch with her.  He has more resources to find her. 

My ex freaked out at the invitation. 

 

I think the author just wanted inspiration for a new book.  He has friended me on Facebook now and trust me - the ladies he dates are HOT! 

 

I'm NOT!

Besides, that is not the man I'm interested in. 

 

Geesh!

 

Sigh....

 

Another opportunity bites the dust. 

 

To this day, I REFUSE to answer any man in my city who writes to me on Facebook. I've been hacked too much. I don't want anyone to get hurt.

I do fear having lunch with men.  Dinner is okay.  They've never stalked me at dinner.  Breakfast, hell, my in-laws sleep in until noon.  That's okay, too.  But lunch?  They are on my tail. 

Maybe it is because they are morbidly obese and I'm near food.  Hmmmm.....would they stalk me at a diet center or a Vegan restaurant?  Huh...I could try that, I guess.    

How about a park away from food?  Or a jogging trail? 

If I really want them to talk, we good meet at the No Tell Motel.  Not really, I have OCD and there is not enough hand sanitizer in the world to cover my hands if I dare touch the door handle...sigh...

I should point out that my friend gave me an opportunity to get over my fear of eating lunch with a male in a restaurant. We went out two months ago in the area where I found an office I wanted to rent. I couldn't eat a bite. I couldn't look behind me because I feared what I would see. I picked out a table at the back of the restaurant. I made it through without getting too sick!! I am realizing now that the fear was probably why my stomach hurt and I couldn't eat.

PTSD is weird. I need to get treated for it again.

Ex or not, I am NOT allowed to be near men at all! My ex has told me that men only talk to women because they want one thing.

This is the reason they stalk me!!    

 

I did not like what I heard today. 

I needed to hear it. 

 

I did write everything down that he said to this blog but I didn't post it.  It is crazy.  It hurts me to read it.  It may be proof of what I am putting down below. 

 

My ex is my stalker.  His sister, her boyfriend, and his cousins are proxies.  The harassment is something he allowed to happen.  He would complain to his family members.  He knew that they were so enmeshed, that they would take action against me without question. 

 

Then, he said something that made me vomit.  He said that Rhonda hunted my high school sweetheart down without question because he wanted to return things Tom gave to me that he found in my closet.  Thank Goodness, Tom was and is over 500 miles away!!   

 

They allegedly did this in 2004.  I was told about it last year after I called the police about the stalking.  Last year, my ex went on a rant about being jealous of Tom.  In high school, his cousin would take my dirty poetry to the man I would later marry.  I had a boyfriend, so we didn't meet for five years.  I do remember Rhonda asking if I wanted to meet her cousin.  I remember declining.  Why would I ruin the good thing I had? 

 

Most of our relationship has been filled with Tom rants.  It was nine years into it when I realized that the guy he was making fun of was the one I dated.  I became angry.  It stopped for about a year.

 

Then Rhonda would call and say she saw Tom around town.  Usually, she saw him at the grocery store.  Okay, he eats...cool!  She'd tell me he was married; I actually cheered because I was sure my disproportionate figure scared him away from women.  I was incredibly happy that he didn't play for the other team.  She'd tell me that he didn't have kids (made me sad).  She'd tell me his wife looked just like me (that borders on creepy).  She said that he said my name and his wife playfully punched him (maybe we had the same name and playful punching was once his idea of a public display of affection). 

 

How did she get that information?  I thought she talked to him. 

 

Tom said she never did. 

 

I shudder now. 

 

 At the time, I never gave it a second thought. 

 

I am deeply upset about this. 

 

I cry when I think of that. 

 

Why would anyone be so deluded as to harass a complete stranger who is so far removed from our world that he'd have forgotten about me if people would have just left him alone in peace? 

 

Why would anyone in their right mind do that?

I can't think like that!!  I can't understand it!!

How does one learn to think like a psycho? 

 

My ex has no intention of cooperating with the divorce. 

 

He has no intention of letting me hold a job. 

 

He admits that every time I get a job or opportunity, he takes my car because his breaks down.  He doesn't see how impossible that is to pull off without major planning. 

 

After three hours of trying to reason with him, I realized that it is impossible to reason with an irrational person. 

 

My friend, well.... he tries to reason with me.  Politicians....they try to reason with me. 

 

Gary and my ex, they are incapable of reason. 

 

I say try to reason because I can't think clearly right now.  My mind is going a million miles a minute.  How can I stay safe?  How do I get this filed?  How do I find the missing accounts?  What will I do for transportation?  Can I be a trustworthy and loyal employee if I'm being stalked by crazy people? 

 

Oh, I'm angry.

 

I called my lawyer.

 

I'm waiting for the lawyer to call back.  I don't know how to communicate with him.  I think my email has been hacked.  I don't want my ex to listen in on the phone calls.

 

I need a new phone number. 

 

I need a new email address.

 

I need a PO Box. 

 

I am terrified. 

 

Here is what I am learning. 

 

Lawyers see just about everything. 

 

Cops see just about everything. 

 

Between the two of them, they are usually dead on when it comes to what is going on with scary family situations. 

 

Wow....

 

I want to hide from everyone. 

 

This shall pass soon. 

 

Love ya,

 

S. 

P.S.  While talking to the police department in my mother-in-law's town, I was reminded of a letter that my father-in-law sent before he died.  It was quite abusive.  It referenced that Shannon was hostile to me and that my mother-in-law had issues with her son. 

It reads like a typical letter from a narcissist.  "You must meet with us." " We will not discuss the past (including the ongoing stalking)."  "You will do as we say and things will never be the same but you will still do exactly as we demand." 

Uh..no...I won't.  My children will not be subject to that kind of behavior either.  You will respect me.  You will respect my children.  Until I feel safe around you, you will never see them.  My mother-in-law can thank her daughter and neice for the fear I have of my children being near them.  The stalking is the problem.  Oh, and my mother-in-law's answering machine threats didn't help the matter either. 

I found the letter.  I think it is adequate proof for a restraining order, especially coupled with the answering machine tapes and emails I have from Shannon. 

I am seriously considering a restraining order against my in-laws and my ex now. 

I should mention that.  Oh, and my ex said that he hid a second letter from me that was far worse. 

I don't know exactly what is going on. 

I want far away from it...now!