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Love



Today I am thankful for love. 


Up until a couple of days ago, this is what I thought of love. 


Love was always the disaster. 

Friendship set on fire was okay. 

It was just when some guy wanted to shove a damn golden ring on my finger -

everything went to hell in a hand basket. 

I swore off love. 

I swore off marriage. 

The only kind of committment I would agree to would involve a huggie jacket. 

I thought that I just wanted to find someone to mess around with.

He had to be smart. 

He had to be fun.

He had to be a friend.

I did find the perfect guy.

He seemed like it would be good for him, too because the first time I met him I caught him staring at my butt...

Speaking of buts.....

I liked him too much....

to use him like that.

After getting to know him, I learned that he has more ethics in his little finger

than I have in my entire body. 

So...I couldn't do it. 

He offered. 

He offered twice.

I couldn't do it. 

I guess that was a test that I somehow managed to pass. 

I've spent nearly two years wondering what would happen if I let myself try with him. 

How would I know what he needed? 

In my religion, men are the embodiment of Eros. 

The one chosen for me must be worshipped as a God or else I risk pissing off the deities of love.

So, if I let myself stop acting like a sacrilegious fool,

how would I know what his needs are? 

As synchronicity would have it, as part of a political conversation about seeing eye-to eye, he sent me a little course on Non-Violent Communication which delves into the topic of communicating with someone in order to identify his or her needs and ensure that they are getting met. 

Okay....

okay....

I guess this is a sign and a signal. 



As soon as I clear away the last box from my ex,

I'm going in. 

Wish me luck. 

Maybe, with any luck, I'll lose the radiation suit, too. 


Love ya,

S. 



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