Today I am thankful for the insight of a former colleague.
A friend of mine and I spent some time together today. She and I are former victim advocates.
I mentioned that the Colorado State Child Support Enforcement office put my ex into a rehab program run by the Denver Rescue Mission which forbids my ex from speaking to his kids or leaving the premises to visit with them (or work) for a period ranging from 90 days to 18 months.
Personally, I'm shocked that this guy has conned everybody into believing he is homeless and is incapable of earning a living.
Her take was more interesting.....
She thinks that someone on the state level is trying to protect me from the stalking.
She told me that she's happy that I'll be safe for at least 90 days. If he's convinced everyone he needs rehab and is locked up, I'm safe for that period of time.
You know what, she's right on some level.
No one has tried breaking into my home since June.
Maybe things are changing?
I don't know.
It sounds like it's a voluntary rehab - so I would expect that if I agreed to abate his child support, he'd leave immediately and go back to being an accountant.
It's not like he's been court ordered into rehab.
Maybe someone is looking out for me. Perhaps this is meant to buy me some time.
We'll see.
There has to be more to the story.
At least I'll have some time to find ways to support the kids on my own. I'll work on finding more gigs to supplement my income.
Sometimes all we need is the perspective of a friend. It helps to see through fresh eyes.
May you get the insight you need when you need it.
Love ya lots,
S.
Friday, September 29, 2017
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Feelin' Stupid
Today I'm thankful for finally understanding how naïve love can make me be.
The stalking started in 1992. Typically, my ex's family would follow me around, spread rumors, get me fired and evicted from apartments.
I was lucky, I did have one boss who ignored the bullshit. I also was able to buy a home which kept me from losing a place to sleep. Unfortunately, Michael's sister had a way of starting crap with the neighbors which took several years to unravel. There was always drama until I explained to my neighbors that the fat chick who threatened them was my sister-in-law.
She always told them that she was MY sister and that I had her and the police watching them. You should have heard my poor paranoid alcoholic neighbor freak out. This guy had a right to be paranoid, his wife was cheating on him. She and a colleague drove a delivery truck. They'd back it right up the driveway and have sex in it. The husband would be home. I'd be home and their antics were easily visible from my bedroom window.
That neighbor taught me that people who are paranoid are not necessarily wrong. I should have caught on when he called the police and told them that I was a nice person but had a nasty, fat sister who threatened him; she always seemed to have a police officer by her side. It took about three years for everyone to get to the bottom of what was going on. My sister-in-law's best friend was the police sergeant; he wound up being fired soon after for falsifying records.
It was a hot mess.
It was 2011 when my ex's former boss at the city told me that my ex was fired for leaving work during office hours to follow me around. This woman had lied about me in public internet forums so I didn't believe her at the time.
I scoffed.
The stalking got worse. My ex blamed everyone else. He blamed his family. He blamed people I used to date back in the 80's. He blamed everyone except himself.
It was 2012 before an Aurora detective explained that my then estranged spouse had been stalking me all along.
It got worse before it got better. 2015 was the scariest year for the stalking. I had chronic break-ins and people coming to the house all hours of the day and night to rough me up.
When a judge finally ordered my ex to move out in December of 2016, it seemed to stop.
My ex agreed to move out in October of 2013. I started interviewing eviction lawyers in 2014 after my ex refused to move out.
One lawyer, who I regret not hiring, told me it sounded like my ex had a chemical dependency problem.
I scoffed.
In fact, I scoffed just like I did when his former boss told me he followed me around.
Two weeks ago, my ex sent me an email claiming to be in rehab so he doesn't care what happens to the kids, doesn't want to see them and can't pay child support. He wouldn't say why he was there only that he had to stay away from people for three months which means that he cannot work. He stated that he may not be allowed to work for as long as 18 months. He said it was the Colorado State Child Support Enforcements idea for him to get into the program that will NOT allow him to see and/or support his own kids.
That is bizarre. If this is true, I think we need to get rid of a public servant in charge of that program. I didn't believe it at first. I had to read it in a court filing from legal briefs written by lawyers for the Colorado Child Support Enforcement program. My ex approached them to abate his child support.
My ex also told me that he would not update his address for the court. He also stated that the lawyers with the Child Support Enforcement office knew where he was and it was okay for him to do what he was doing.
Um......okay. I tried to warn him about starting legal issues and hiding from the court.
He didn't listen.
He claimed rehab was more important.
I didn't believe that he could possibly be in rehab. He claimed was in a rehabilitation program for homeless people.
I inadvertently supported him for well over a year (gave him my mini-van- I'm still paying on it- and paid insurance through February). He had a job and a subsidized apartment when he was evicted. He took a lot of expensive tools and the new flat screen TV (so he had things). He NEVER paid child support, so that wasn't making him poor. He could have easily survived if his job paid as little as $10 an hour. Even if he lost his job, he had a means to get another. He left with assets and some of his bills paid.
He didn't spend time with the kids. Due to that fact, he could have easily taken a second job because he didn't have to work his schedule around the kids' schedules like I do.
I would hope he didn't need to do that. He IS an accountant and good paying work seems easy to come by. In a pinch, he could work two jobs. It beats homelessness.
He claims to be homeless now. The last time I saw him he was angry that I took in a teenager kicked out of her home for being gay. He seemed to expect to be able to come back into my home.
He never worked on the issues. He never dealt with stalking. He can't live here.
In the past I've spent a lot of time with homeless veterans and children. I understand they are homeless due to trauma. I dislike people who put themselves in dire straights to get out of their legal obligations.
What my ex is doing....well....it feels like a game. They way he writes to me in emails makes it sound like he's digging in his heels to get something out of me.
I don't like it.
This will be the first year I will not donate to the Denver Rescue Mission. I've donated steadily since 1987. They seem to be enabling my ex at the request of the Child Support Enforcement Division.
This has opened my eyes to the truth of some homeless people. Perhaps I should be less generous during those years I'm not struggling.
I guess I could donate to veteran charities instead.
My ex is playing games. They are enabling him.
How many other single mothers endure this?
I don't want to be guilty of supporting this bad behavior.
******
I did a Google search and it seems like rehab is the new tactic the left of center father's rights activists (FRAs) use to avoid paying child support. Most FRAs want fairness. Some want to help men continue to abuse their former spouses.
Some FRAs are suggesting that men go to rehab and then go to court to request to have their support abated.
That's a little bit too weird.
Doesn't one have to have a problem to go to rehab?
My ex didn't seem to ever have a chemical dependency problem.
I remembered what that lawyer said to me years ago.
My ex couldn't hold a job to save his life.
He lied about everything.
He couldn't remember the stuff he said.
He didn't seem to sleep much.
Money kept going missing.
I realized.....the lawyer was probably right.
I'm just stupid and naïve.
I don't know.
There are far too many games.
This entire relationship from start to finish seems to be a bunch of games.
I'm sad.
My ex claims to be homeless but with the stalking, I can't let him live here.
He says his family won't let him stay with them
-but-
why would they stalk me if they didn't care for him?
They were stalking me as late as May 2016.
Things are NOT adding up.
I don't have time to figure it out.
******
He was told by a therapist that he was a narcissist.
Here is the deal - NARCISSISTS LIE!
They create drama.
All of the dramas are about them - their wants, their needs and their desires.
No one else counts.
Everything is a drama.
I don't get it.
At first, all of the dramas seemed to be about his family; his mother and sister.
It turned out that he lied to his mother and sister and then they harassed me.
Then the drama became about his boss at the city. I'm beginning to think he lied to her and she harassed me due to that. Healthy professionals don't act like that.
The drama turned to him. He would scream and yell while blaming his upbringing. We lived in terror of his temper.
I thought divorce would stop the games.
It didn't.
I should know better than to believe him.
********
There is too much month at the end of my money.
I'm looking for yet another job.
The job I have is giving me an inconsistent schedule which makes it hard for me to supplement my income seeing hypnosis clients.
I'm almost to the point of driving for GrubHub or something.
I'm selling health insurance for $16 an hour. I'm NOT getting commissions. In the past I made about $1,000 a month in commissions in addition to a $15.50 an hour wage.
I thought the pay for this job was too low. I just took the job out of boredom. I still have several months of unemployment left because I didn't use much of it. I guess I'm lucky.
I sat with a colleague struggling to sell plans.
She confided in me that everyone else is only getting paid $12 an hour and no commissions.
Sigh.....
What is the world coming to?
Companies are getting greedy. If one is educated and in this situation, wouldn't he or she look for another job?
Maybe people like my colleagues and ex are lazy and take the path of least resistance? Maybe they don't know how to stand up for themselves? Maybe they devalue their work?
I don't know.
I gave her the names of other agencies that start around $40,000. I'm at this company because I know many of the people running it as this is the company that bought out my former employer. I've worked with these people before.
It's a temporary job and feels like a family reunion even though I'm only going to work there for 54 days.
Sigh.....
I had an interviewer ask me if I were entertaining other offers. I told her about this company and she mentioned her experience with them. I probably should have taken her advice and refused the offer.
The job is close enough to home that I can take the bus if my old car breaks down. When you're poor, transportation is huge. If you don't have back-up transportation, you may quickly find yourself jobless. It was worth the low wage to know I could make it to work under most circumstances.
I realized that working two jobs and sleeping three hours a day was a bad thing to do to myself.
I can't fathom how I smacked my face with a glass window on Thursday morning. The cuts are healing okay. I will have three scars under my left eye. The bruises are still there but it's nothing huge rimmed brown glasses can't hide.
The scars may make it hard for me to get a job in sales (outside of a call center environment). Beauty is more valued than homeliness.
Sigh.....
I must have been tired. I can't afford to let myself get that tired again.
I've decided to look for another job with a more defined schedule so I can work my hypnosis clients in easier. The changing schedule leads to sleep deprivation which leads to me eating glass for breakfast.
There is another lesson I learned from my job.
Horrible employers refuse to carry health insurance on their employees but demand doctor's notes for every little thing. If you want a chair that isn't broken, they expect a doctor's note. If you break your face on a car window, they want a doctor's note. If you want to have your inhaler at your desk, you need a doctor's note.
If all of their employees are on Medicaid, do you want to take a guess at who is paying for all of those doctor's notes?
I'm disgusted.
I'm working on getting out of there as fast as I can.
Do you know what is weird? They've auto signed us all up for a 401K plan. They don't offer health benefits but they sure as heck can take 10% of our paychecks and buy their own stock with it without getting our consent first.
I can't wait to get the heck out of there.
I'm still getting calls for interviews. The trick is getting time off to go to the interviews.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling about forced overtime.
I need the money.
I also need sleep.
I really need sleep.
******
Some things have to change.
I can't count on help with the kids.
The financial abuse game previously consisted of harassing my bosses to get me fired, taking my car so I couldn't go to interviews and having his family block me in my driveway when I had somewhere to be has morphed.
It is now a game of wasting my money in court
and
failure to live up to our divorce agreement.
Somehow he has convinced the Colorado Child Support Enforcement unit that he is only capable of making $12 an hour. They ignore copies of the paystubs I sent to them. In return, they file court filings shaming me for caring for my kid in college.
Um......okay. I'll keep their nasty answer and re-read it if I'm ever on a campaign for Congress.
I KNOW whose budget needs to be cut.
I may share it with my representative, too.
Who in the heck shames a single mother for helping her kid through college? If our daughter goes to college, she'll be less likely to wind up on state assistance (especially if we keep her student loans LOW and we do that by supporting her).
It's an investment thing.
Child Support Enforcement is supposed to invest in the kids rather than enable a liar.
Perhaps the Colorado Child Support Enforcement lawyers are too young to understand the game?
I don't know.
My ex must owe me around $64,000 now. Much of that money is due to funds he stole from the retirement accounts after the divorce and the legal fees from having to remove him from my home.
I'll never see that money.
Sigh -
Marital problems just continue after the divorce.
It's weird.
The only thing that tends to improve is hindsight.
I truly wish I had listened to my lawyer friends earlier.
They told me to change my passwords, hide my computer and keep Michael from my employers. They told me he had a mental and addiction issue. They told me that he was going to steal the 401K.
I didn't listen.
He hacked my accounts and had his family stalk me.
He terrorized me and stole my money.
If a lawyer gives you insight, LISTEN.
They've truly seen it all.
I was told to doubt the rehab story due to all the lies.
I don't know what to think.
Maybe he is truly in rehab?
Maybe it is just an excuse not to cooperate with the court?
I don't know.
I studied drug and alcohol counseling for many years. He sounds like he's in a 90 day inpatient rehab program for hard core drug addicts.
Wouldn't I have seen signs of this when he was living here?
I didn't find any needles or anything when cleaning out his mess.
Maybe I'm just stupid. I could never have fathomed that he put his family up to stalking me, either.
I'll never know if he's telling the truth. He's protected by HIPPA.
Maybe that is why men lie about this? We can't verify it as truth.
I shouldn't care any more. I can't afford to care any more.
Maybe the game is to cause me to spend all my available credit on legal fees (since the State of Colorado Child Support Enforcement Division wouldn't talk to me unless I hired a lawyer). Maybe they need to impoverish custodial mothers to justify the existence of their department?
I don't know.
I hate the big government NOW more than EVER.
If you know me, you know that's saying a lot!
May you never have to count on another human being. May you also find everything you need to survive easily and effortlessly.
I have an obnoxious Irish spirit and a very long memory.
I'll see them on the other side of Hades.
Love ya,
S.
The stalking started in 1992. Typically, my ex's family would follow me around, spread rumors, get me fired and evicted from apartments.
I was lucky, I did have one boss who ignored the bullshit. I also was able to buy a home which kept me from losing a place to sleep. Unfortunately, Michael's sister had a way of starting crap with the neighbors which took several years to unravel. There was always drama until I explained to my neighbors that the fat chick who threatened them was my sister-in-law.
She always told them that she was MY sister and that I had her and the police watching them. You should have heard my poor paranoid alcoholic neighbor freak out. This guy had a right to be paranoid, his wife was cheating on him. She and a colleague drove a delivery truck. They'd back it right up the driveway and have sex in it. The husband would be home. I'd be home and their antics were easily visible from my bedroom window.
That neighbor taught me that people who are paranoid are not necessarily wrong. I should have caught on when he called the police and told them that I was a nice person but had a nasty, fat sister who threatened him; she always seemed to have a police officer by her side. It took about three years for everyone to get to the bottom of what was going on. My sister-in-law's best friend was the police sergeant; he wound up being fired soon after for falsifying records.
It was a hot mess.
It was 2011 when my ex's former boss at the city told me that my ex was fired for leaving work during office hours to follow me around. This woman had lied about me in public internet forums so I didn't believe her at the time.
I scoffed.
The stalking got worse. My ex blamed everyone else. He blamed his family. He blamed people I used to date back in the 80's. He blamed everyone except himself.
It was 2012 before an Aurora detective explained that my then estranged spouse had been stalking me all along.
It got worse before it got better. 2015 was the scariest year for the stalking. I had chronic break-ins and people coming to the house all hours of the day and night to rough me up.
When a judge finally ordered my ex to move out in December of 2016, it seemed to stop.
My ex agreed to move out in October of 2013. I started interviewing eviction lawyers in 2014 after my ex refused to move out.
One lawyer, who I regret not hiring, told me it sounded like my ex had a chemical dependency problem.
I scoffed.
In fact, I scoffed just like I did when his former boss told me he followed me around.
Two weeks ago, my ex sent me an email claiming to be in rehab so he doesn't care what happens to the kids, doesn't want to see them and can't pay child support. He wouldn't say why he was there only that he had to stay away from people for three months which means that he cannot work. He stated that he may not be allowed to work for as long as 18 months. He said it was the Colorado State Child Support Enforcements idea for him to get into the program that will NOT allow him to see and/or support his own kids.
That is bizarre. If this is true, I think we need to get rid of a public servant in charge of that program. I didn't believe it at first. I had to read it in a court filing from legal briefs written by lawyers for the Colorado Child Support Enforcement program. My ex approached them to abate his child support.
My ex also told me that he would not update his address for the court. He also stated that the lawyers with the Child Support Enforcement office knew where he was and it was okay for him to do what he was doing.
Um......okay. I tried to warn him about starting legal issues and hiding from the court.
He didn't listen.
He claimed rehab was more important.
I didn't believe that he could possibly be in rehab. He claimed was in a rehabilitation program for homeless people.
I inadvertently supported him for well over a year (gave him my mini-van- I'm still paying on it- and paid insurance through February). He had a job and a subsidized apartment when he was evicted. He took a lot of expensive tools and the new flat screen TV (so he had things). He NEVER paid child support, so that wasn't making him poor. He could have easily survived if his job paid as little as $10 an hour. Even if he lost his job, he had a means to get another. He left with assets and some of his bills paid.
He didn't spend time with the kids. Due to that fact, he could have easily taken a second job because he didn't have to work his schedule around the kids' schedules like I do.
I would hope he didn't need to do that. He IS an accountant and good paying work seems easy to come by. In a pinch, he could work two jobs. It beats homelessness.
He claims to be homeless now. The last time I saw him he was angry that I took in a teenager kicked out of her home for being gay. He seemed to expect to be able to come back into my home.
He never worked on the issues. He never dealt with stalking. He can't live here.
In the past I've spent a lot of time with homeless veterans and children. I understand they are homeless due to trauma. I dislike people who put themselves in dire straights to get out of their legal obligations.
What my ex is doing....well....it feels like a game. They way he writes to me in emails makes it sound like he's digging in his heels to get something out of me.
I don't like it.
This will be the first year I will not donate to the Denver Rescue Mission. I've donated steadily since 1987. They seem to be enabling my ex at the request of the Child Support Enforcement Division.
This has opened my eyes to the truth of some homeless people. Perhaps I should be less generous during those years I'm not struggling.
I guess I could donate to veteran charities instead.
My ex is playing games. They are enabling him.
How many other single mothers endure this?
I don't want to be guilty of supporting this bad behavior.
******
I did a Google search and it seems like rehab is the new tactic the left of center father's rights activists (FRAs) use to avoid paying child support. Most FRAs want fairness. Some want to help men continue to abuse their former spouses.
Some FRAs are suggesting that men go to rehab and then go to court to request to have their support abated.
That's a little bit too weird.
Doesn't one have to have a problem to go to rehab?
My ex didn't seem to ever have a chemical dependency problem.
I remembered what that lawyer said to me years ago.
My ex couldn't hold a job to save his life.
He lied about everything.
He couldn't remember the stuff he said.
He didn't seem to sleep much.
Money kept going missing.
I realized.....the lawyer was probably right.
I'm just stupid and naïve.
I don't know.
There are far too many games.
This entire relationship from start to finish seems to be a bunch of games.
I'm sad.
My ex claims to be homeless but with the stalking, I can't let him live here.
He says his family won't let him stay with them
-but-
why would they stalk me if they didn't care for him?
They were stalking me as late as May 2016.
Things are NOT adding up.
I don't have time to figure it out.
******
He was told by a therapist that he was a narcissist.
Here is the deal - NARCISSISTS LIE!
They create drama.
All of the dramas are about them - their wants, their needs and their desires.
No one else counts.
Everything is a drama.
I don't get it.
At first, all of the dramas seemed to be about his family; his mother and sister.
It turned out that he lied to his mother and sister and then they harassed me.
Then the drama became about his boss at the city. I'm beginning to think he lied to her and she harassed me due to that. Healthy professionals don't act like that.
The drama turned to him. He would scream and yell while blaming his upbringing. We lived in terror of his temper.
I thought divorce would stop the games.
It didn't.
I should know better than to believe him.
********
There is too much month at the end of my money.
I'm looking for yet another job.
The job I have is giving me an inconsistent schedule which makes it hard for me to supplement my income seeing hypnosis clients.
I'm almost to the point of driving for GrubHub or something.
I'm selling health insurance for $16 an hour. I'm NOT getting commissions. In the past I made about $1,000 a month in commissions in addition to a $15.50 an hour wage.
I thought the pay for this job was too low. I just took the job out of boredom. I still have several months of unemployment left because I didn't use much of it. I guess I'm lucky.
I sat with a colleague struggling to sell plans.
She confided in me that everyone else is only getting paid $12 an hour and no commissions.
Sigh.....
What is the world coming to?
Companies are getting greedy. If one is educated and in this situation, wouldn't he or she look for another job?
Maybe people like my colleagues and ex are lazy and take the path of least resistance? Maybe they don't know how to stand up for themselves? Maybe they devalue their work?
I don't know.
I gave her the names of other agencies that start around $40,000. I'm at this company because I know many of the people running it as this is the company that bought out my former employer. I've worked with these people before.
It's a temporary job and feels like a family reunion even though I'm only going to work there for 54 days.
Sigh.....
I had an interviewer ask me if I were entertaining other offers. I told her about this company and she mentioned her experience with them. I probably should have taken her advice and refused the offer.
The job is close enough to home that I can take the bus if my old car breaks down. When you're poor, transportation is huge. If you don't have back-up transportation, you may quickly find yourself jobless. It was worth the low wage to know I could make it to work under most circumstances.
I realized that working two jobs and sleeping three hours a day was a bad thing to do to myself.
I can't fathom how I smacked my face with a glass window on Thursday morning. The cuts are healing okay. I will have three scars under my left eye. The bruises are still there but it's nothing huge rimmed brown glasses can't hide.
The scars may make it hard for me to get a job in sales (outside of a call center environment). Beauty is more valued than homeliness.
Sigh.....
I must have been tired. I can't afford to let myself get that tired again.
I've decided to look for another job with a more defined schedule so I can work my hypnosis clients in easier. The changing schedule leads to sleep deprivation which leads to me eating glass for breakfast.
There is another lesson I learned from my job.
Horrible employers refuse to carry health insurance on their employees but demand doctor's notes for every little thing. If you want a chair that isn't broken, they expect a doctor's note. If you break your face on a car window, they want a doctor's note. If you want to have your inhaler at your desk, you need a doctor's note.
If all of their employees are on Medicaid, do you want to take a guess at who is paying for all of those doctor's notes?
I'm disgusted.
I'm working on getting out of there as fast as I can.
Do you know what is weird? They've auto signed us all up for a 401K plan. They don't offer health benefits but they sure as heck can take 10% of our paychecks and buy their own stock with it without getting our consent first.
I can't wait to get the heck out of there.
I'm still getting calls for interviews. The trick is getting time off to go to the interviews.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling about forced overtime.
I need the money.
I also need sleep.
I really need sleep.
******
Some things have to change.
I can't count on help with the kids.
The financial abuse game previously consisted of harassing my bosses to get me fired, taking my car so I couldn't go to interviews and having his family block me in my driveway when I had somewhere to be has morphed.
It is now a game of wasting my money in court
and
failure to live up to our divorce agreement.
Somehow he has convinced the Colorado Child Support Enforcement unit that he is only capable of making $12 an hour. They ignore copies of the paystubs I sent to them. In return, they file court filings shaming me for caring for my kid in college.
Um......okay. I'll keep their nasty answer and re-read it if I'm ever on a campaign for Congress.
I KNOW whose budget needs to be cut.
I may share it with my representative, too.
Who in the heck shames a single mother for helping her kid through college? If our daughter goes to college, she'll be less likely to wind up on state assistance (especially if we keep her student loans LOW and we do that by supporting her).
It's an investment thing.
Child Support Enforcement is supposed to invest in the kids rather than enable a liar.
Perhaps the Colorado Child Support Enforcement lawyers are too young to understand the game?
I don't know.
My ex must owe me around $64,000 now. Much of that money is due to funds he stole from the retirement accounts after the divorce and the legal fees from having to remove him from my home.
I'll never see that money.
Sigh -
Marital problems just continue after the divorce.
It's weird.
The only thing that tends to improve is hindsight.
I truly wish I had listened to my lawyer friends earlier.
They told me to change my passwords, hide my computer and keep Michael from my employers. They told me he had a mental and addiction issue. They told me that he was going to steal the 401K.
I didn't listen.
He hacked my accounts and had his family stalk me.
He terrorized me and stole my money.
If a lawyer gives you insight, LISTEN.
They've truly seen it all.
I was told to doubt the rehab story due to all the lies.
I don't know what to think.
Maybe he is truly in rehab?
Maybe it is just an excuse not to cooperate with the court?
I don't know.
I studied drug and alcohol counseling for many years. He sounds like he's in a 90 day inpatient rehab program for hard core drug addicts.
Wouldn't I have seen signs of this when he was living here?
I didn't find any needles or anything when cleaning out his mess.
Maybe I'm just stupid. I could never have fathomed that he put his family up to stalking me, either.
I'll never know if he's telling the truth. He's protected by HIPPA.
Maybe that is why men lie about this? We can't verify it as truth.
I shouldn't care any more. I can't afford to care any more.
Maybe the game is to cause me to spend all my available credit on legal fees (since the State of Colorado Child Support Enforcement Division wouldn't talk to me unless I hired a lawyer). Maybe they need to impoverish custodial mothers to justify the existence of their department?
I don't know.
I hate the big government NOW more than EVER.
If you know me, you know that's saying a lot!
May you never have to count on another human being. May you also find everything you need to survive easily and effortlessly.
I have an obnoxious Irish spirit and a very long memory.
I'll see them on the other side of Hades.
Love ya,
S.
Thursday, September 21, 2017
I Always Thought Beauty Just Faded Slowly
Today I am thankful for make-up.
I sustained an injury today that make-up cannot cover.
Years ago, I got pretty darn good at using make-up to hide black eyes and contusions.
The cuts were so deep today that I cannot cover over them.
I hid the black eye well....
I can't stop the swelling.
The cuts around my face are going to scar.
I always thought beauty faded slowly.
For awhile, it did.
I started to swell.
I got a smirk wrinkle on the left side of my mouth.
I got smile lines around my left eye.
Who knows? Maybe the cuts around my face will scar over and fill in the wrinkles?
I doubt it.
I think I lost what was left of my appearance in just a few short seconds at 5:00 a.m.
******
Long story short,
I got smacked in the face with a window.
I was wearing glasses.
The glass cut up my left eye very badly.
My face is bruised.
The emergency room doc had to hold up my eyelid to make sure my eye was clear of debris.
I don't have a concussion.
Thank goodness.
*****
I was afraid to go to work.
My new boss assured me that people notice my mental attitude more than my appearance.
I went.
My colleagues were kind.
One of the bass players helped me come up with a more interesting story about my injuries.
I'm supposed to say...
"I was in a bar fight. You should see the other guy!!"
Bass players....they always know what to say.
They are awesome!
*****
Now that I'm ridiculously hideous looking,
I need to start sounding and looking smart.
I guess I need to play up the few brain cells I have left!
I'm never going to look the same.
My face is a mess.
Thankfully there are other things to ponder right now.
******
I'm never going to look the same.
My face is a mess.
Thankfully there are other things to ponder right now.
******
Many people are terrified that Obamacare will be repealed.
It won't.
The politicians like it too much.
The health insurance companies like it too much.
Please don't worry.
We're are nearing the annual enrollment period for Medicare Advantage/Prescription plans and Individual and Family plans. Health insurance companies won't let politicians mess up the most lucrative time in the insurance market.
Trust me.
If my face weren't so swollen, I'd write you a mini thesis on it.
Maybe you should just Google Rand Paul. He's voting against the Graham/Santorum** health care wanna-be law. If he won't vote for it, it doesn't stand a chance.
The true mission of government is to grow itself. It wants to get more control of healthcare.
There is absolutely no way the government will give this up.
I had a thought while reading about the large numbers of people on Medicaid. There are 74 million U.S. Citizens on Medicaid. Okay, as of this writing, there are 74,424,652.00 people on some form of state medical assistance funded by various state governments.
More than one quarter of the U.S. population are on Medicaid!
More than one quarter of the U.S. population are on Medicaid!
It's not Medicare they're going to model single payer on.
Medicaid will eventually grow into single payer.
We are getting there, aren't we?
We are getting there, aren't we?
I'm shocked I hadn't realized this earlier. I wonder who the grand architect of that scheme was?
Hmmmmm.......Medicare is just a ruse. Focus all the attention on a joke while working behind the scenes to complete the socialist goal.
Hmmmmm.......Medicare is just a ruse. Focus all the attention on a joke while working behind the scenes to complete the socialist goal.
I guess I finally had time to think about it while waiting to get stitches.
I just realized that I forgot to get that tetanus shot I need.
I haven't had one since 2001.
I just realized that I forgot to get that tetanus shot I need.
I haven't had one since 2001.
I'll have to make an appointment for that soon.
Thankfully I have insurance.
Thankfully I have insurance.
Love ya,
S.
Next Day Edit: I'm sorry. It's the **Graham Cassidy bill. I just love saying the word "Santorum." Not everybody is unlucky enough to have their name importalized in the Urban Dictionary as a by-product of gay sex.
Sigh.....
I guess it pays to have a common name.
As of today, the bill is all but dead as McCain vowed to vote against it.
I have a John McCain story.
He directly supported my domestic abuser way back in 1994. I had insurance with my abuser. He beat the shit out of me and took me off of the plan without offering me COBRA. I filed a complaint with a Colorado agency. A judge ordered my abuser to pay my medical costs. I was trying to sign up for COBRA so I could get the MRI and other things I needed. The company was in Arizona. McCain stepped in and told the agency to back off of the company.
The company, at the time, had a supervisor who encouraged my ex to beat me. I was told later that this boss and my ex were persuaded to leave the company. They were demoted and encouraged to quit. After they left, I became a customer again. The owner of this company actually had his pilot take me to Phoenix. I have a polaroid of me sitting in the cockpit
It was all good despite the meddling of politicians.
So....I had to get braces to try to fix my jaw after the assault. I wore them for five years.
My jaw still clicks.
My teeth look prettier, though.
My spine is messed up but you can barely tell. I waited too long to get the care I needed because I didn't have insurance. I guess these things happen.
My abuser broke my nose. I was a model as a teenager. I had a strange looking nose and I liked it better after it was broken. I don't think other people agreed with my assessment of my nose.
I never liked it.
I couldn't complain. After I paid for my own medical care, I looked much better.
Why is this on my mind today?
My face is bruised and cut from the glass incident I had yesterday.
It's going to scar.
A man didn't do any of it.
I did.
I had four hours of sleep and hit myself in the face with the door of a 1989 Buick while heading off to work at 5:00 in the morning.
I broke my glasses.
When this is over, I'm going to start wearing contact lenses. They don't cut up your face.
An alternative could be wearing glasses with cheap huge, plastic frames. Maybe they'll hide the scars?
I don't know what I'll do yet.
I'm still smearing Neosporin all over my face to try to minimize the scaring.
Sigh.....
It was a difficult day today.
I went to the bank to pay my office rent and the teller (who usually assists me) wouldn't look at me.
I had to convince the doctor that I don't have a significant other in my life who did this to me. She was stuck on the abuse angle. I didn't get the tetanus shot I need.
Priorities.....if a woman is being abused, tetanus is probably the least of her worries.
I'm not in a relationship. The only abuse I could possibly be enduring is financial but that ex is long gone.
He'll probably stay away so long as he doesn't get garnished for child support or any of the money he was court ordered to pay me (e.g. legal fees, money stolen from the retirement accounts). Child support is not collectible. I need to find a way to make more money while working less hours. There has to be a way to do this. I just need to think...and stop smacking my face with glass!
Today, at work, I again found myself explaining that I am too busy for a relationship and any damage to my face was due to my own klutziness.
It broke my heart the way my social worker friend looks at me.
I don't think he believes my story.
I even showed him my glasses.
I'm sure as a social worker, he's met people in abusive relationships who lie about their injuries.
I'm sure he's also met clumsy people far too busy (or afraid) to enter into relationships.
After awhile, some people just get to a point of fear.....
Some people are afraid of being hurt, or rejected, or used, or any number of things.
Me? I'm afraid of judgement.
I'm afraid of showing my scars.
Now I have more than ever.
Rather than date, I just pray that the men I care about find women that are beautiful, honorable and kind.
If fact, it's Friday.
Friday is the day I make that petition to Aphrodite.
Maybe I could ask for healing. It may be best to wait until Sunday and ask Asclepius for that gift.
On Fridays, I do ask for things for myself. I ask Dionysus to give me mad bass playing skills. Just teasing....I sold my fun bass guitars for money -so- that talent will have to wait to be revealed.
I do ask for the gift of creative inspiration. So far, I haven't figured out how to tap into that gift.
I'm also praying a lot for the people in Puerto Rico. We know a child there. I just learned our prayers are being answered. His family is going to send him to New York to live with relatives for the next few months.
It feels good when prayers are answered, doesn't it?
Whatever faith you are, keep it. Keeping the faith makes life more livable.
Love ya lots,
S.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Just An Angry Hippie
Today I am thankful for the laughs I get listening to criticism.
As I shopped for a purse with a peace sign, I was told that I was an angry hippie.
Yeah....I'm so angry that I have to surround myself with peace signs.
I quipped that I'm not an angry hippie.
I am a temperamental demi-goddess!
Yeah....I envision myself as a cross between Themis and Hecate....
but in reality, I'm just a trickster coyote.
Yeah....I'm just a dog.
Woof!!
Then I thought about it.
I was born during the Vietnam War.
I have the energy of the year of my birth.
There were a lot of angry hippies during the Vietnam War.
Maybe that's my problem.
Maybe I carry the energy from the circumstances of my conception and the earliest sounds I heard.
I spent the first eight weeks of my life in a hospital.
It could be that the doctors who kept me company told me about the horrors of war.
I remember one doctor.
His name was Sayers. He would visit from time to time until he died.
He died when I was ten.
That could be why I don't trust the government.
There are uncles I never met because they died in the war.
There are great uncles I never met because they died in World War II. I'm pretty sure my step-father left his soul in Germany back in 1944 when they liberated the camps.
He refused to talk about it.
I don't know.
Maybe I am an angry hippie.
When a group of politicians act like they have to pass the Kobayashi Maru, they have far too much power over others.
Leadership is NOT a test to see if you can send others to their death.
Sometimes leadership is showing sensitivity and speaking up for those too afraid to speak up for themselves.
I took a job that I shouldn't have taken.
I went to work for the company that bought my previous employer.
It was like a reunion.
I didn't check the reviews on LinkedIn, Glassdoor or Indeed until I noticed one of the trainers emotionally abusing people.
Apparently, this goes on quite a bit at this company. It seems to be their standard operating procedure.
Apparently, this goes on quite a bit at this company. It seems to be their standard operating procedure.
This woman would literally sit there and berate her underlings for minutes on end.
She tried it with me.
She didn't understand Medicare law. I asked a question. She berated me for it.
I made the mistake of snickering.
She looked so funny as she tried to tear me a new ass.
It was kind of funny.
It was kind of funny.
She incorrectly quoted Federal law and asked my opinion.
I corrected her.
She was furious!
She went insane.
She did this on my birthday.
I thanked her for giving me cause to think of how I spend my time.
It was a very existential birthday present.
I am looking now for a job where I can help more people than disabled people seeking special needs plans.
I am looking now for a job where I can help more people than disabled people seeking special needs plans.
I only took this job to make up for my ex's inability to pay child support. I figure that if I have a job in addition to my small business, I could make up for his lack of desire to support the kids.
I thought this woman's behavior was a one off.
She's been doing this to my colleagues, too.
After reading reviews online, I went to HR.
Her boss wants me to stay quiet.
I may not be there by the end of the week.
I can't believe I gave up my unemployment benefits for this opportunity. I make so much money on my own, I didn't really touch the unemployment.
I still have five months left.
Maybe if they fire me for being smart, I can get a better job where I can really help people.
Sigh.....
The worst part of it was having her boss call me sensitive. I've known this guy for years.
Um....he doesn't know me.
I thought he knew me.
I thought he knew me.
I'm not sensitive.
I'm an INFJ. When things are sunny, I can be a ray of sunshine.
I'm an INFJ. When things are sunny, I can be a ray of sunshine.
When things are dark and dreary, I'm an evil empath.
Hillary Clinton, Adolf Hitler, and Gandhi were angry INFJs.
People died. Just ask Kenneth Starr.
I won't kill people.
I'll kill funding -or- I'll stop selling for you.
So.....I'll ponder where my anger is truly coming from.
It really doesn't matter.
It's the last day of a waning moon.
Maybe a little black magick is in order.
There are some people I need to protect before I fly the dysfunctional nest.
Oh, and I used to have a website about workplace bullying inspired by the Tax Audit department contained within my local government. I have hours upon hours of audios I could upload. I also have hundreds of pages of testimony that has been transcribed.
I've chosen not to do that in the hopes my life is more peaceful.
I took down most of the posts after a city attorney complained. I'm thinking about getting rid of the city's name and reposting everything so people can see how bullying plays out.
Bullies do not prosper - for long. The organizations that allow bullies to thrive tend to have a lot of attrition.
I've also learned that if you're being bullied, you're probably too good at your job. The bully may be intimidated by you and want you to fly the coop.
Yeah....insecure people have to berate smart and capable people.
It's just the way sociopaths work.
It's not fair. It's life.
I'd prefer to take the high road -but- I'm a witch who is unafraid of the fire pits of hell.
Stay safe and sane out there.
Oh, and I used to have a website about workplace bullying inspired by the Tax Audit department contained within my local government. I have hours upon hours of audios I could upload. I also have hundreds of pages of testimony that has been transcribed.
I've chosen not to do that in the hopes my life is more peaceful.
I took down most of the posts after a city attorney complained. I'm thinking about getting rid of the city's name and reposting everything so people can see how bullying plays out.
Bullies do not prosper - for long. The organizations that allow bullies to thrive tend to have a lot of attrition.
I've also learned that if you're being bullied, you're probably too good at your job. The bully may be intimidated by you and want you to fly the coop.
This is my favorite quote -
"Only the best are bullied." - Tim Field
Yeah....insecure people have to berate smart and capable people.
It's just the way sociopaths work.
It's not fair. It's life.
I'd prefer to take the high road -but- I'm a witch who is unafraid of the fire pits of hell.
Stay safe and sane out there.
Love ya lots,
S.
NEXT DAY EDIT: Well....I'm still getting job offers. In fact, some of those offers are with the company I'm trying to get away from.
Weird, huh?
I was at work today fielding calls from recruiters trying to get me into the job I erroneously accepted. They make it sound like this company can't get people to stick around. One of the recruiters offered me more money for the very job I am doing right now.
I thought that was a bit odd. I laughed and told him my boss needs all the help she could get!
He apologized as he didn't realize that I was already working there.
On the bright side, if this company is increasing pay, the economy must be improving!
Hooray!!!
Today I learned that I have a new supervisor.
My new supervisor is someone I've known for years. We studied for our licensure exams together a few years ago. She's very good at what she does.
She looked aghast when she saw my supervisor trying to intimidate me last week. She complained about the bully and was quickly promoted away from her. In fact, she went from being the bully's underling to being her boss!
I love it!!
The bully and I are contract workers. My new supervisor was given a full time, year round job with my former employer!
Good things happen when you say nice things about people you know to your former employer.
I was walking by the recruiters and made mention that this woman was firm but fair. She was hired the same day!
She deserves the good karma! She has done so much for others, it makes me happy to see it come back to her.
I found myself rewarded, too. This awesome woman is going to be my boss and trainer for the next two months.
It's great when things work out.
Here's the deal:
If we spend so much time with our colleagues, we may want to choose to spend time with people we actually like....
doing things we actually like to do.....
without watching any members of our work family being bullied.
I've decided to look for a job that aligns more with my career goals rather than making up money that I should be getting elsewhere. Psychotherapists should not take sales jobs to make up money they should be receiving from child support.
I'm spreading myself too thin and not serving the people I was trained to serve.
I'm going to get out of the insurance game.
Do what you love and the money will follow.
Treasure those difficult people who make you realize that you're on the wrong track. That's what the bully did for me.
She made me realize that I don't want to deal with obnoxious salespeople forty hours per week. Just because we do something well, it doesn't mean we should be doing it.
I can sell. I just don't like to sell. I like to solve problems (which is why I can sell).
I'm going to get back to solving problems without pitching a product.
I'm just about to get my path right again thanks to an insecure, nasty young lady with a penchant for yelling.
Cheers!
NEXT DAY EDIT: Well....I'm still getting job offers. In fact, some of those offers are with the company I'm trying to get away from.
Weird, huh?
I was at work today fielding calls from recruiters trying to get me into the job I erroneously accepted. They make it sound like this company can't get people to stick around. One of the recruiters offered me more money for the very job I am doing right now.
I thought that was a bit odd. I laughed and told him my boss needs all the help she could get!
He apologized as he didn't realize that I was already working there.
On the bright side, if this company is increasing pay, the economy must be improving!
Hooray!!!
Today I learned that I have a new supervisor.
My new supervisor is someone I've known for years. We studied for our licensure exams together a few years ago. She's very good at what she does.
She looked aghast when she saw my supervisor trying to intimidate me last week. She complained about the bully and was quickly promoted away from her. In fact, she went from being the bully's underling to being her boss!
I love it!!
The bully and I are contract workers. My new supervisor was given a full time, year round job with my former employer!
Good things happen when you say nice things about people you know to your former employer.
I was walking by the recruiters and made mention that this woman was firm but fair. She was hired the same day!
She deserves the good karma! She has done so much for others, it makes me happy to see it come back to her.
I found myself rewarded, too. This awesome woman is going to be my boss and trainer for the next two months.
It's great when things work out.
Here's the deal:
If we spend so much time with our colleagues, we may want to choose to spend time with people we actually like....
doing things we actually like to do.....
without watching any members of our work family being bullied.
I've decided to look for a job that aligns more with my career goals rather than making up money that I should be getting elsewhere. Psychotherapists should not take sales jobs to make up money they should be receiving from child support.
I'm spreading myself too thin and not serving the people I was trained to serve.
I'm going to get out of the insurance game.
Do what you love and the money will follow.
Treasure those difficult people who make you realize that you're on the wrong track. That's what the bully did for me.
She made me realize that I don't want to deal with obnoxious salespeople forty hours per week. Just because we do something well, it doesn't mean we should be doing it.
I can sell. I just don't like to sell. I like to solve problems (which is why I can sell).
I'm going to get back to solving problems without pitching a product.
I'm just about to get my path right again thanks to an insecure, nasty young lady with a penchant for yelling.
Cheers!
Thursday, September 14, 2017
Sympathy Ended
Today I am thankful for the perspective of blocked memories.
Michael sent me an email the other day claiming that he was homeless and in rehab. He chastised me because I didn't "understand his reality."
He totally forgot that I was homeless at seventeen after my parents died and my uncle's girlfriend demanded I leave his house. My uncle was getting paid by social security to keep me.
It didn't matter to his girlfriend.
I was rescued by a gay man whose parents threw him out when he came out of the closet. He finished high school living on his own in a scary part of town.
This man took pity on me and helped me find an apartment. I worked a lot so I had money. I was just seventeen and had no one to cosign for me. This man did. I wasn't going to let him down.
His name was Jim.
I've tried over the years to pay Jim's kind deed back. I always swore if I had a son, I'd name him James.
It never happened.
Even my cat is female.
Jim opened my eyes to the realities of political oppression and how idiots in the statehouse can make the lives of our brethren intolerable.
Jim is the reason I fought Amendment 2.
Jim is the reason I've tried to pay it forward over the years by giving spare rooms to gay teenagers so they could finish high school.
So far, I've done that twice.
******
I felt sick the first day after receiving my ex-husband's email.
I was told to doubt his words. He's lied to me in the past. He could be lying to try to get me to absolve him of child support.
That was the point of the email.
I almost fell for it.
Then I remembered why we divorced.....
it was due to his family stalking me
-and-
his pretending to see a therapist to solve the problems.
I filed for divorce when I didn't see bills come from his therapist but I found receipts from McDonalds with the same days and times of the alleged therapy appointments.
Pretending to go to therapy is something narcissists do.
******
I could have had a different career -
IF my ex and his cohorts didn't work so hard to get me fired from jobs.
They harassed me during my internship with the District Attorney. One day my boss called me and my ex yelled at me while I was on the phone.
I was asked to resign. One cannot advocate for victims of domestic violence when her husband acts like an abusive turd in front of her boss.
That is probably the reason I never was hired for another county gig.
That's okay.
My mind raced to all the times he took my car when I had job interviews -or- forgot to come home to stay with the kids when I had a volunteer or work gig.
I remembered those times, even after the divorce, his relatives would harass me at home to keep me from attending job fairs or interviews.
There were those times they hassled my colleagues and clients ruining my business. I took out a loan and spent about $10,000 into my business. I'm still paying that loan off.
I remember the feeling of despair I had when I graduated college and every job opportunity I had would be ruined somehow.....
my car would go missing....
I would be harassed....
or my employer would be harassed.
I remember crying a lot.
I don't think he understood my reality....
my stuck-ness.....
I really don't think he cared.
I no longer have sympathy for him.
If he had allowed me to finish my P hD., I'd be making six figures and paying him palimony.
Without a professional psychology license, my degrees are worthless. Yes, I am a registered psychotherapist but that's not the same as being a psychologist.
It's an entirely different paygrade.
I sell insurance to survive.
He brought this on himself.
I hope he learns his lesson.
If he wants my cooperation, he needs to learn to communicate.
*******
If he is homeless -
the worst part is that I cannot let him live here in the empty basement apartment.
The last time I did that, he became obnoxious, demanding and refused to leave.
He said that if I gave him my mini-van (which I'm still paying for) he could keep his job and pay child support. I gave him the van and it didn't happen.
He used the same promise to get me to buy him gas and purchase goods for his so-called business trips.
When he kept getting fired, I told him about jobs.
He yelled at me.
I don't want to be played anymore.
I want to make sure that my investments actually mean something to someone.
I hope he gets help and realizes that we all have to work together to survive this life.
Love ya lots,
S.
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Why Black People Run from Aurora Cops (& Taxpayers Seethe)
Today I am thankful for activist friends.
I was tagged into an online discussion.
I was shown a video. My computer doesn't work. It typically doesn't play videos but it played this one. It must be divine intervention.
It shows a black man being physically assaulted by an Aurora police supervisor. This alleged devotee of the law refused to say why the man was being detained.
Some peace officer, huh?
He can't even follow the law he was sworn to uphold!!!
It's really hard to respect someone who doesn't honor his commitments.
The City Attorneys cleaned it up by giving this man $110,000 (which may not come close to his medical costs if he truly had a pulled groin).
Sigh.....I guess the police can do what they want to do if they can pick-pocket the taxpayers to pay for the resulting mess that ensues.
The worst part of it is that these assholes make good cops look shitty.
How many of these bad cops cause good cops to be shot, or maimed, or harassed?
These assholes need to go.
They really do.
If you read my last post, you'll read about how, I found a young black man mauled by a dog outside of my home a few days ago. He was writhing in the street. His black friends pulled him out of the street and set him on the sidewalk.
I wished they hadn't moved him. His pants were so destroyed by the dog, they wouldn't stay up. This young man was very embarrassed that an old lady saw him that way.
I was more worried about his wounds. It was a good thing he was pant-less. The fabric would probably have just irritated the deep and wide holes in both of his legs.
My daughter called for an ambulance.
The police arrived.
The victim's black friends fled the scene.
The cops asked me to leave.
I watched from my front door. Nothing violent happened. If it did, it would have been caught on camera and the footage would have been sent to the papers and a few activists I know.
I've spent the past few days wondering why the Gods brought that to my door.
I wondered why black people always seem to flee from the police in my town.
Two weeks ago, I prayed to learn what I needed to do to help the community.
This happened.
I got this video today.
I have no clue what an old bitchy Irish American is supposed to do to help people of color in her community.
If we advocate for others, we steal their power.
We have to stand behind others and support them in their power. If we speak up on behalf of other groups, we are buying into the idea that they have less power than we do.
How in the world can I stand behind them?
I'll light a black candle on Saturday hoping this alleged supervisor and his cronies are fired. Maybe I'll light a white candle on Sunday praying that the Chief, the City Council and the City Attorney gain wisdom.
I don't want them doing this to anyone else in any other community again.
It's good to be a redheaded bitch. It's only a threat if you believe in that kind of thing.
Truth be told, I've gotten most of my good activist ideas meditating to black candles smeared in sulfur.
I mean if you want something to happen, you've got to do it yourself.....right?
To watch the disturbing video, click the link below.
http://www.denverpost.com/2016/09/09/aurora-police-taser-aclu-colorado/
Maybe you can do a get evil out of my town spell, too.
I'm only going to do it because I like the smell of sulfur.
Yeah.....yeah....that's the ticket.
Love ya,
S.
P.S. If you want to read the police response to the incident, you can find it here:
https://www.facebook.com/AuroraCOPD/posts/1214445968600310
I'm wondering why these idiots weren't fired.
I've got some praying to do.
I wonder how many times I've prayed for these jerks.
The cops in these videos did not deserve my protection rituals or prayers.
We get what we give in the world.
Assholes beget assholery.
May Nemesis act swiftly to teach these bozos a lesson.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Making Room for Something Better
I've decided to have a love affair with life. We're only here a finite amount of time. We have to act now to get things done.
Today I am thankful for the understanding that when all is lost it only makes room for things to improve.
So....everyone in my house has the stomach flu.
I haven't caught it yet and I credit the homemade Kombucha.
The trick is piloncillo.
Since I started using Mexican brown sugar, it's become much more fizzy and yummy.
Hopefully it will keep me well.
Maybe when I can afford to upgrade my computer, I'll share my recipe.
It was in my fear of getting sick and laziness in wanting to go to the regular supermarket to get brown sugar that opened the way for better Kombucha.
Are there any problems that the Mexican grocer can't solve?
They taught me that Vicks Vape-O-Rub solves every illness.
So far....anyway.
The smell also keeps evil spirits and men away, too.
******
Now....my ex husband is claiming that he is homeless (probably wants to live here again rent free)
and suicidal.
He claims to have checked himself voluntarily into a Christian rehab program. If that is true, it will do him a lot of good. These people helped me many, many moons ago when I was sexually assaulted by my sister's buddy.
I ran to their shelter. They prayed for me and got me help.
I'm not sure if he's telling the truth or not. He left me a snarky message alluding to killing himself because he doesn't want to pay child support.
He's never paid it.
I don't know if he's serious or being manipulative so I handed my lawyer a credit card and told him to deal with the legal fall out for me.
I need to get another job and find time to get back to my small business. My temporary job is taking most of my time.
I'm going to need yet another job to make ends meet.
So, my ex ditched the Djinn to find Jesus.
I'll rehome the Djinn.
I'll give up my sleep to make room for a third job so I can do a better job supporting the kids.
I guess this is progress.
*****
Oh and my hard disk on my remaining computer is corrupt so it takes about 30 minutes to load a page.
IF you don't hear from me, I'm probably still alive - I'm just waiting for the computer to load.
This computer dying is going to make room for something that will support Windows 10.
It's not a bad thing.
******
While I'm away from the blog, I'll be lighting candles and praying that the US leaves HAARP alone.
Please stay safe where you are.
I'm sad that entire communities are being wiped out.
It's hard to think of that as progress knowing the loss of life that is occurring.
I don't have a lot of time. I find myself doing most of my praying while driving to and from work and job interviews or in those wee hours of the morning where I cannot sleep.
******
Oh, and I did have an epiphany. I eat so I don't date.
I don't want to date because I haven't stayed in shape where it counts.
I know....but when you're over forty....you've got to stay in shape. I may just give up and get surgery IF I can manage to save the money.
I was injured in a car crash many years ago. I knew this day was coming. I just thought I had more time.
Sigh.....
As far as dating -
I know that sounds stupid but people I know are pushing harder to pair me with a really cute social worker who flirts with every pretty woman over the age of 30.
Today I overheard a couple of colleagues talk about he and I being single and soft spoken. They called us cute and like how we interacted.
We try to get into each other's heads. I guess it could be funny to overhear us speak to each other.
People with therapy backgrounds like to ask a lot of open ended questions like
"How do you feel about that?"
-and-
"What would you like to do?"
-and-
"What does that mean to you?"
Sigh.....
We probably do too much of that.
I finally had to ask the women to stop it. They are well meaning. They just don't see that he's that kind to everybody.
I'm trying to be kind. If I let myself go, I can run over people like a steamroller.
I'd like my assholishness to only come out when it is necessary
like when talking to an egotistical politician who thinks your wallet is his or her personal piggy bank.
You know - I need to save the negative energy for the times that it counts.
I'm secretly wondering how I can dress and behave as to stop attracting that kind of thought around other people.
The fake wedding rings don't work.
Maybe if I cut my hair and start acting butch?
I don't know.
I'm asexual. How does one present that persona?
Maybe I should change my name from "Girl" to Leslie or Pat and bind my boobs with tape?
I bought a bunch of boring pant suits.
I'll ponder that between the prayers and waiting for internet pages to load.
******
Oh, and I had one more drama over the past week.
A black man in his late teens/early twenties was mauled by a dog outside of my home. Both of his legs were badly bitten.
I didn't see it happen. My daughter heard his cries for help and I ran outside and had her call 911.
This young man wouldn't let me call his parents as we awaited an ambulance because he was smoking pot outside of my house with his buddies in a car.
They called it "hot-boxing." I'd never heard that term before. It smelled horrid, like gaggles of angry skunks being attacked by hound dogs.
Yuck!
I hate to say it, but....I had the thought that the dog attacked the kid because he smelled like a skunk!
The kid said the neighbor told the dog to attack. I don't know this neighbor well enough to know if that is the truth.
I hope not.
When the police arrived, the young man's black friends took off and left him alone with this horribly old white lady.
He was in pain. I'm sure looking at me only made his pain worse.
It was at that moment, I realized that Aurora police must have a horrible reputation with citizens of color to make this young man's caring friends take off and leave him alone.
I have more to research once my life settles down.
I think this was the answer to my prayer. I want to know what I'm supposed to do for the community. It keeps coming back to social justice.
What do you want a bet they're going to kill the dog while claiming she is a pit bull? She's a boxer.
I should have studied law. I wanted to -but- I didn't want to live my life surrounded by negative energy.
It's strange. I still find myself looking up case law at least once a week.
Maybe I should go out, get an education and take the Bar Exam.
It's never too late.
******
Just in case this is my last post for awhile,
Please take care of yourself.
Please help your neighbors who need it.
Please reach out for help if you need it.
You're important.
Love ya lots,
S.
Edit: I'm going to try to defrag the disk. It probably won't work. I tried to restore the system to a previous date and it didn't work.
The problems started when I dropped the computer. She's probably a goner.
On the bright side, maybe I can wind up with something nice. I get great deals at MicroCenter. I still have one saxophone and one clarinet I can sell for dough. The 1920's era tenor sax is said to be gold plated - so maybe I'll get enough money to buy something decent.
It'll work out. Everything always works out.
It may be awhile before I check in again.
Take care of your wonderful self.
Cheers!
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Insight
Today I am thankful for my female colleagues; they taught me something.
I am not afraid of men.
I am afraid to be alone with men in public.
So.....
One of my female colleagues invited the social worker to sit with us at lunch.
He offered me his food.
It was health food disguised as junk food.
Sharing food is a subconscious sign that someone considers you part of his or her tribe.
I, on the other hand, had junk food disguised as health food.
I only had a gross protein cookie that tasted like chalk and a Diet Pepsi to wash it down with.
I cared too much to share.
We could talk when my friend was around.
He patiently listened as my friend played a variety of Dr. Who ring tones for me and I tried to guess which Doctor the sound belonged to. I recognized the sound of the intro to number Doctor #1, #2 and #10.
I confused Bad Wolf's theme song with River Song's theme.
I guess I failed the test.
Well, you know, no one is perfect.
Oh no.....I hope he doesn't diagnose me with Fantasy Prone Personality or something!!
Just kidding....I like the Dr. Who ringtones because they get my attention and few people have them. If I hear the T-Mobile ringtone, I don't know if it's my phone. If I hear the sound of the Tardis, I know the call is for me.
I'm not afraid of talking to the flirtatious social worker when people are around.
In class the teacher is instructing us to work together.
I'm not alone with him so it isn't an issue.
Luckily, there are far prettier single women in this class for him to flirt with.
There is no worry for me now.
I have to ask myself what gives?
Why am I afraid to be alone with men?
Well.....I went into a handy-dandy meditative state.
I remembered that I had a huge crush on the security guard at my last job.
He was 53.
We spent numerous lunch hours talking and laughing.
We both liked classic rock. He grew up in a small town in Denver. We both had an interest in geology and collected various rocks and minerals.
He made beautiful jewelry for his daughters. He'd bring it in to show me before gifting it to them. It was always gorgeous.
I wanted to take a wire wrapping class with him but we could never get our schedules to mesh.
We talked about weekend trips we'd never take and he would drive his classic cars to work to show them off.
With little warning, I was promoted and never saw him again. I was asked to work in a different office building.
I heard he quit.
He left a message for me asking if I wanted to spend the night out of town for a gem and mineral show. I declined out of fear that my ex would stalk us.
My ex still lived here at the time. We had been divorced nearly three years but my ex refused to move out.
I distinctly remember being terrified to drag him into my world.
During my meditation, I remembered some of the other opportunities I lost due to the stalking.
One of my absolute favorite psychologist/authors came to Boulder and invited me to tea. I declined.
A really fun bass player wanted to meet up for coffee. He has interesting movements on stage - the kind that used to make me wonder what he'd be like.....um....in other venues. I will never think that again because he just got married!! His wife is beautiful and kind. That rejection worked out very well for him.
An activist buddy asked me out. I pretended that I was too busy. I think he knew better. He also knows about the stalking.
Anyone who has been to coffee or tea with me knows about the stalking.
It hurts.
These are people I've met before in public. They were all very kind. I was too afraid of being watched again. I was afraid of causing trouble for them.
I started to stay away from people on a social level.
There have been others, too.
I guess I am still afraid of being stalked.
Part of me wonders if the court shenanigans are part of the stalking. I am asked to fill out affidavits describing every aspect of my life for my ex (under the guise of child support modification).
He won't fill out the affidavits for me.
The stalking may be over but I think the modification requests are a new manner of keeping tabs on me.
I don't know.
Maybe my ex is truly homeless and living in poverty.
Maybe it's just a rouse trying to get me to let him live here again.
I don't know.
It's really none of my business.
I'll just pay the lawyer to deal with my ex.
I do have a fear that my kids will be asked to report on my life to him. If I have no life, they'll be nothing to report.
Sad, huh?
I honestly think that if I ever decided to date, the crap would hit the fan.
Controlling men need someone to control.
So....I'll just stay silent.
Yeah......
So....tomorrow is my birthday.
Everyone forgot.
We had plans but the people made different plans.
That's great!!! This means that I won't be on the hook to pay for fancy dinners for relatives.
I'm planning on having a spa night with a lavender bath and alpha hydroxy acid washes and all sorts of creepy things that little old ladies do to pretend not to be so old.
Maybe I'll listen to some 80's music, too. .
As far as the money I'm going to save on going out.....well....I'm going to put the money I save aside in a box. I'm going to also put 10% of any bonus/commission income I earn in this box, too. The hope is that someday I can replenish my bass guitar collection.
Okay.....maybe just get one bass.
I like to role play as Larry Graham when I'm frustrated.
I have discovered that I can get the dishwasher to beat in certain time signatures. If I load it with a certain cookie sheet in the back, I hear a perfect 4/4 rhythm.
If I put the huge cookie sheet in front, it sounds like a 3/4 waltz.
I guess I miss my bass. It's probably due to the people I spend most of my time with.
Oh, I didn't tell you. The HR lady who set up the class I am in put me with three other bass players. I find them incredibly inspirational.
They are members of my tribe. Yes, I share my good food with them.
It's good to know people in power.
Love ya lots,
S.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Unrealistic Ex-pectations
Today I am thankful for a laugh and the realization that my ex has lost his sense of reality.
I sent my ex an email about some health problems the 19 year old is enduring. He called a couple of days later wanting to know why I am not taking the kids out to the movies each weekend.
He's not talking about movies at the cheapy $1.50 theater.
He's talking about recent releases.
I am the sole income earner in a household of four, three teenagers and myself.
Um......
I lost my job in May.
I can't afford to take them to the movies!!!
He doesn't pay child support. He claims to be so poor he can't afford rent.
Is it possible he's telling the truth?
Maybe he's homeless and staying in the movie theater for warmth? I shouldn't judge. We're in the Denver Metro area. Mortgage payments are less than rent.
It's probably cheaper to watch feature films all night, every night, than to rent an apartment.
I've never done the math. I'm wondering if that could be what is going on.
Well, maybe not, living in a movie theater could make it hard to shower.
*****
Seriously,
where does he expect the movie money to magically appear from?
Hocus Pocus?
I'm not a good witch. If I were a good witch, I wouldn't drive a mid-eighties Buick and my house and lawn wouldn't embarrass the neighbors. I'm working on it.
I guess I could make a wealth potion. I can share a recipe below, if you'd like.
I don't know if it works. I have smeared it on candles every few years or so. We're not homeless. My car works. The heat is on. The mortgage is current. We haven't signed up for food stamps or TANF.
It could be worse.
Maybe it works?
It smells nice....sort of.
*********
I don't have a lot of income right now.
I'm stuck finishing up Groupon clients in my private practice (meaning I earn about $7.50 an hour). It was fun when I had a full time income to supplement it with Groupon. Now that it had become my sole income, um......it didn't even pay the office rent.
As my birthday is in September and this is an odd year, government fees are eating up my savings. This month my psychotherapy registration, State of Colorado business license and 37 of my health insurance licenses have come due.
So...this month....
I have to spend $223 for government permission to have a hypnosis business and several hundred dollars on health insurance licenses (ranging from $50 to $318 per state for 37 states). I also have to pay for my continuing education class ($250) by the end of September, too.
We haven't gone to the movies in a long, long time. The kids get nice gifts for their birthdays and I've started in on the Christmas shopping (things start to get pricey in September).
Worse, the kids want to buy me birthday gifts and I'm trying to fill my wish list full of dollar store items (kitchen washcloths, kitchen towels, pot holders, smelly trees for the car, candles and so on). My daughter wants to buy me a set of enamel covered cast iron Dutch ovens for $60. That's a steal and I miss the ones her friend took with her when she moved out. I just don't want to give up the $60 right now. Maybe I can let her put it on the family credit card.
This is the life of a single parent.
I don't have a lot of money. I do my best for them on their birthdays. I wish their father would call them on their birthdays. They can get phone calls and texts on Ting. I was able to port their numbers. They just can't get fancy, schmanzy videos sent to them. He once complained that the kids didn't get some video he sent. I'm using a cheap cell phone service right now.
I'll switch them to the Cricket 4g plan when I get a real job.
About the licensing costs, there is a bright side. My current employer will most likely reimburse me for the health insurance licenses and continuing ed if I finish out the Medicare Annual Enrollment Period helping the in the sales department. They did this for me in the past. I'm sure they'll continue.
It's a fact of life in a gig economy. We have to do what it takes to pay the rent.
Still............my budget is shot. My savings are dwindling. My ex-husband is asking the kids why I'm not taking them to see the latest feature films as soon as they come out.
When a single parent loses her job, cuts are made.
When a single parent doesn't get court ordered child support, the extras are hard to come by. I'd like to pay for driver's Ed for the teens. I'd like to be able to pay for their auto insurance. They need an allowance so they could learn to manage money. I'd like to get braces and Spanish lessons for the youngest. There are so many things they need - it seems like movies are the last thing I should be thinking about.
When a single parent has to retain an attorney because of contemptuous behavior, she's going to be in debt for a long time. I had to put the lawyer fees on a credit card. I spent $6,400 getting my ex out of my home in an attempt to keep him and his family from stalking me. I spent another $1,000 to answer his justification for incredibly low child support. Honestly, that will probably cost me another $2,000. You know what? The judge ordered my ex to pay my attorney fees. He never will. I'm going to have to work extra hard to pay that all back. If it stops the stalking completely, it'll be money well spent.
The worst part about all the legal crap is that the documents are sent to the house. Guess who checks the mail?
Yeah. The kids have got to know something is up.
It's sad.
******
I don't know how to tell this man that I cannot afford to take the kids to the movies. I understand he likes movies. I understand that movies give him something to talk to the kids about when he bothers to call.
I just can't afford it right now.
You know what a solution could be, don't you? He could take them to the movies.
I've tried that. What that means is that I have to drive them to the theater, pay for the tickets (?) and wait until the movie is over to take them back home again. The last time we tried that, I thought it was a real visitation and that my ex would keep his promise to take them to dinner.
I went to an eye appointment during the movie after dropping the kids off. My eyes were dilated when I received a call that the movie was over and he wanted them picked up. One of my daughter's friends had to give the kids a ride home because my ex didn't want to take them out to dinner and I couldn't see well enough to drive.
He didn't have the money to take them out to dinner. The last time he wanted to take them to a movie, he didn't have the cash. I actually bought a movie gift card to spare him the embarrassment but he decided not to visit the kids because he scrapped the van I gave him.
I don't know what to do.
I just can't be as generous as I was before I lost my job. I was re-hired by my former employer but on a temporary basis with a 25% reduction in pay and zero commissions.
I have to watch my budget now.
Sigh......
*****
I think I can appease the kids by signing up for Netflix and Amazon Prime.
Do other parents go through this?
Do other single custodial parents have non-custodial parents refuse to pay child support yet demand that the custodial parent pay for extras?
My career would have been different if I could have worked throughout the marriage without being stalked out of jobs. I was stalked. My earning capacity is 50% less than my ex's.
It could have been different if I could have built a career.
I can't do the things he used to do for them. I can't afford to take them to dinner twice a week, buy them expensive toys or take them to movies.
It is crazy for me to even consider it.
I guess it'll be better to just pretend it never came up.
I need to suspend judgment, too.
There is no way of knowing what is going on in another person's mind.
Love ya lots,
S.
NEXT DAY EDIT:
I did promise wealth potions.
The first potion would simply be spearmint, peppermint and/or cinnamon oil. Smear some on a candle and burn. I need to give you a word of caution, these essential oils burn through fabric and skin. You may want to cut it with some olive or basil oil.
NEVER USE BABY OIL!! Mineral oil is the primary component of baby oil. Mineral oil is a huge component of bad luck spells.
I use caster oil on my skin.
The second potion would have a base of basil oil with frankincense essential oil, cinnamon essential oil, bay leaves (crushed) or bay essential oil and sandalwood essential oil. Try to use equal parts of the essential oils or mix them in a manner that smells good to you.
Rub this on a green or gold candle and burn it, dab some on your wallet and you can use it as a bizarre perfume (if you do a patch test and make sure it doesn't burn your skin).
I have many more recipes like this. I'm just sharing these off the top of my head.
If I find a better smelling recipe, I'll add it to this page.
Monday, September 4, 2017
A Scammy "Job" Offer
Today I am thankful for gut instincts.
Most of us should honor them.
It is no secret that I'm looking for steady 9-5 job in addition to my small business. I do not receive the court ordered child support while the expenses are continuing to grow; that happens as kids learn to drive and enter college. Rather than hassle my ex, I have decided that it is my duty to make as much money as I can.
Since I make 52% of what my ex makes, I have to work two jobs.
So....In addition to being a psychotherapist, I work as a licensed health agent in 37 states. Right now, I'm a captive agent for my former employer.
I'm working on getting my property and casualty license. I've recently interviewed with my auto insurer and was told to expect an offer letter this week.
I don't know if that means anything......a deal isn't a deal until you've signed on the dotted line.
The sad thing is that I make more money selling insurance than I could as a licensed Drug and Alcohol counselor.
I'd rather help people
-but-
you've got to do what you've got to do, right?
*******
I'm going to share two emails. This is a reshipping scam. The scammers send you a bad check or a stolen credit card number and then ask you to buy high end items and ship them back. You use your money to buy these things and, if you're lucky, the check will bounce and that will be the end of it.
If you're unlucky, you'll be arrested for ID theft or stealing credit cards.
Here is the first email (which came from an address formatted like officialsoundingcompanyname@Gmail.Com.) Pay attention to the lack of formatting and grammatical errors. This person is not a native speaker of English.
Dear Applicant ,
I received your message to our job posted on [popular job board]. Please note that you are being hired only on a personal level. All correspondences would be made and promptly reported to me personally. The position is part time and home-based meaning you can work most times from your home as long as you have a regular internet access. I own a small shipping business and I tend to operate a high cost of operation and I want to cut down my expenses by employing shipping and receiving personnel in each state individuals who will be receiving mails in bulk and then dispatch them in units to there respective destinations. For example the cost of mailing a package by United Parcel Service is around $13 and if we want to send out 100 mails, that would be around $1,300 which is rather too costly, But we have a solution whereby, we ship the whole 100 mails in one package at the rate of $180 to you and when you receive it, you will open and mail out items through United States Postal Service which will be $3 to $4.50 each to there respective destinations. This would save a large amount of money. I hope this explains how much i need an honest and committed person for this position. You will be paid $500 every week and this is a long term position. As the case may be, you will be provided with funds to pay freight forwarder weekly to help get goods from the manufacturer. I will provide or pay for cost of mailing goods/items by USPS or any other method so you do not have to spend on shipping and or postage. Remember that any money out of pocket expense made in respect to this task shall be duly reimbursed along with your weekly salary.You will be provided with up to $2,850 weekly, to deduct your weekly pay and any needed expense the forward remainder of the money to our forwarding agent so as to help organize shipment of our goods/items directly from the manufacturer.Most items you will receive range from letters, office material, electronics, art materials and some other general consumer goods as the case may be.I can assure you that you do not have to make any out of pocket expense and are not require to pay any job application form to get started. Task may take around 8-10 hours of your time per week and you can work at your convenience.The job is very simple but very important you have an address where you can store and or accept mails and packages, and also have the time to dispatch mails and packages through USPS,Once our package comes in weekly, you only have to present an ID either driver's license or any other personal ID to present delivery man when packages comes in for you. Integrity matters to me, please be sure to know this position requires your full commitment and honesty. I hope you create a good impression and work relationship.
Do get back to me with your Personal/Contact details if interested. such as:
FULL NAMES:
ADDRESS,Include Apt # If Available(No PO.BOX please):
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE:
HOME PHONE #:
MOBILE PHONE#:
EMAIL ADDRESS:
SEX:
AGE:
PRESENT JOB:
I received your message to our job posted on [popular job board]. Please note that you are being hired only on a personal level. All correspondences would be made and promptly reported to me personally. The position is part time and home-based meaning you can work most times from your home as long as you have a regular internet access. I own a small shipping business and I tend to operate a high cost of operation and I want to cut down my expenses by employing shipping and receiving personnel in each state individuals who will be receiving mails in bulk and then dispatch them in units to there respective destinations. For example the cost of mailing a package by United Parcel Service is around $13 and if we want to send out 100 mails, that would be around $1,300 which is rather too costly, But we have a solution whereby, we ship the whole 100 mails in one package at the rate of $180 to you and when you receive it, you will open and mail out items through United States Postal Service which will be $3 to $4.50 each to there respective destinations. This would save a large amount of money. I hope this explains how much i need an honest and committed person for this position. You will be paid $500 every week and this is a long term position. As the case may be, you will be provided with funds to pay freight forwarder weekly to help get goods from the manufacturer. I will provide or pay for cost of mailing goods/items by USPS or any other method so you do not have to spend on shipping and or postage. Remember that any money out of pocket expense made in respect to this task shall be duly reimbursed along with your weekly salary.You will be provided with up to $2,850 weekly, to deduct your weekly pay and any needed expense the forward remainder of the money to our forwarding agent so as to help organize shipment of our goods/items directly from the manufacturer.Most items you will receive range from letters, office material, electronics, art materials and some other general consumer goods as the case may be.I can assure you that you do not have to make any out of pocket expense and are not require to pay any job application form to get started. Task may take around 8-10 hours of your time per week and you can work at your convenience.The job is very simple but very important you have an address where you can store and or accept mails and packages, and also have the time to dispatch mails and packages through USPS,Once our package comes in weekly, you only have to present an ID either driver's license or any other personal ID to present delivery man when packages comes in for you. Integrity matters to me, please be sure to know this position requires your full commitment and honesty. I hope you create a good impression and work relationship.
Do get back to me with your Personal/Contact details if interested. such as:
FULL NAMES:
ADDRESS,Include Apt # If Available(No PO.BOX please):
CITY:
STATE:
ZIP CODE:
HOME PHONE #:
MOBILE PHONE#:
EMAIL ADDRESS:
SEX:
AGE:
PRESENT JOB:
Once i received your contact information i will get back to you with the task for this week, Understand you will also be paid as soon as you pass this first assignment, You will be paid ($500) at the end of the week. You are going to be employed as Shipping and Receiving Personnel and all tax will be taken care of by me, your first weekly salary is $500 and will be paid by check along with first assignment.
Thanks in anticipation of your prompt response
Yours Sincerely,
Un Huyng
Never answer these emails with truthful information lest you be scammed again.
Upon answering this email you will receive another one.
Hello,
I am using this medium to Congratulate you that you have been approved and assigned for the warehouse job position.Your first task assignment has been assigned out and will deliver to you tomorrow via USPS courier service .Here is the shipment tracking number(9405501X99X2009122xxxx)The Package contains a bank cashier's check of $2320.50
The funds are to purchase some African and native American arts and materials per customer request. Once you have the check, have it deposited in your account for clearance. (which shouldn't take more than few hours or the latest 24 hrs to clear in your account says by the bank.Once deposited send me the deposit slip for record.
You will be deducting your weekly pay of $500 and then make a withdrawal of the remainder amount and send to their branch accountant details i will be providing you for cash deposit. Since their factory is located in turkey so as to have our freight forwarder help organize our shipments from their local store in the states per their demand. I would like you to deduct $500 of your weekly pay and $50 for GAS. Once i receive the deposit slip i will let you know further instructions on how to forward the funds.I will call or text you as well .
I await your immediate response.
Best Regards
Un Huyng
The scammer contacted via ZipRecruiter. ZipRecruiter did a great job shutting the scam down before I could respond to their request to forward the emails.
Hooray for ZipRecruiter.
I've had several interviews and offers through this service, so I would recommend it. Just understand that most of the jobs posted are on the low end of the pay scale. It is a good way to get to know recruiters.
Hooray for ZipRecruiter.
I've had several interviews and offers through this service, so I would recommend it. Just understand that most of the jobs posted are on the low end of the pay scale. It is a good way to get to know recruiters.
Pro Tip - Always send a cover letter. In that letter, add something like this to the final paragraph:
"I welcome the opportunity to interview for this
position or any other position in which you feel I would be a good fit."
This is how my contacts for customer service positions turn into interviews for sales roles.
If you happen to be the victim of one of these employment scams report it to the FBI by visiting this link: https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx
If this is you, I sure hope your luck improves.
Don't feel bad. Some people get scammed online. I tend to get scammed by shady auto mechanics and auto dealers. One got me for $3,500 last summer.
When I started buying from people who knew my family, my luck improved drastically.
When I started buying from people who knew my family, my luck improved drastically.
Scams happen to the best of us.
Wishing you the absolute best of success,
S.
Wishing you the absolute best of success,
S.
Sunday, September 3, 2017
My Conspiring Associates (and Why I am Alone)
Today I am thankful that I know wonderful people who are far too much like me and that know how to deal with those who aren't.
I don't know exactly how much I can share.
I really don't.
Just know......at least one of my associates has gone to incredibly crazy lengths to get me into a classroom
with a gorgeous,
tall,
single,
man who, apparently, worked with me for over two years at my previous job.
He's a little bit older than I.
I don't remember him.
The first time I noticed him was when he smiled at me when I first entered the room....
on Monday.
My associates arranged for me to be in the same class as him and had me sit next to him. I wound up switching seats with someone who needed to be closer to the front of the class. Now, I sit on the other side of the room.
I don't want to give too much about the circumstances of this class away.
My former employer sold my division to another company. My former trainer and the woman who hired me into that job are the new HR representatives for this company. They asked me to come back through the end of the year to help the company through the transition.
They said a five week course would help me get a running start on the gig.
I asked for a different class, starting at a different time and on a different day. They argued with me and misrepresented the fact that there were other classes available.
They told me that I would regret not attending this class.
My associates drove a hard bargain to convince me that I needed to spend the next five weeks of my life in this room.
It turns out to be a set up.
He knows too much about me. I wonder who could have told him?
Hmmmm......no big mystery there.
The man I was supposed to sit next to is also a former social worker.
We have a similar degree.....
similar experiences.....
and I cannot fathom how in the heck we wound up working at the same place doing the same job and getting laid off at the same time.
I was hiding from a stalker. I took the job coaching sales agents because the security was high and my ex and his relatives couldn't get to me.
Why was he there?
I didn't ask. I assume it is because good salespeople make double or triple the money that social workers and psychotherapists make.
*******
He smiles too much.
I catch him watching me.
I'm finally realizing that he likes me.
It only took five days.
I don't know what to say.....
it's the little things......
the smiles.....
the walking me to my car......
making sure I don't get stuck in the elevator.....again.....
asking me why I drink Mt. Dew when I can't handle sugar.
He's started to offer me tea.
Oh my.....
I can't.....
I just......
can't.....
He's very kind, gentle and soft-spoken.
I am gentle, too....
UNTIL
1.) I witness cops roughing up a twelve year old......I've seen it. I've complained about it. I've been told that I don't know the true circumstances or the situation. That last phrase in italics is a phrase that one will only hear an abuser say. There are no circumstances which warrant the beating of a twelve year old.
2.) I also get upset when I see a child getting turned away from a school study hall in the morning because he or she was good enough to do his or her homework the night before. When I drop my kiddo off at school, I'll notice many kids are forced outside to study in the morning. There is a teenager who wanted to come into the school for study hall to read and avoid the bullies. This security guard makes these kids stay outside unattended because they've already done their homework.
Apparently you're not allowed to read at a study hall
because....
well.....
I don't know.....
I don't know what in the world the security guard is doing but I can't seem to visit this school or drop of my children without witnessing some type of bizarre altercation.
When I try to talk to the people in charge, I get a lot of information that makes no sense. They want kids to attend study hall that haven't done their homework the night before.
They expect all kids to do their homework the day it is given (rather than the morning).
Reading must always be at home.
Rules are not to be written down because they change all the time. Parents have to guess at what is going on.
As a result, I decided NOT to let my kids partake in school fundraisers or activities when the security guard flip flops on the dates and times the kids can attend. It's disgusting dropping them off thinking they'll be busy doing school related stuff and the security guard forces them to sit outside alone.
We have sex offenders in the area. Some security measure, eh?
They're putting kids in danger and miscommunicating with the parents.
3.) A couple of years ago, I lost my cool. Yes, there was a time I went on a rampage with the Principal because the security guard sent a bunch of 12-13 year old girls, in mini-skirts and high heels to walk home (in the dark) at a dance on Friday night because the librarian mistakenly believed they owed fines. I figured it out when I drove down the street and saw girl after girl shivering in the cold hobbling down the side of a busy, poorly lit, street in the dark!
I went to the school and found my own daughter was forbidden from attending the dance due to a fine she didn't owe. I threw my driver's license on the table, asked the Principal to Google my name and guess what I was going to do next. I had just been in the papers for one of my political stunts.
I may have made mention to being a former victim's advocate and knowing that happens to many young women walking home, in the dark, dressed in high heels and short skirts at 8:00 p.m. on a poorly lit street.
During my rampage, I asked the Principal to verify the fines. He couldn't do that. All those kids were sent out in the dark and cold due to a mistake the librarian had made.
Yeah......maybe the reason teachers make so little is because their overlords don't make any sense and voters get disgusted or feel disrespected trying to interact with them. I'd advocate for the school district more if they treated people with a semblance of respect.
They don't.
4.) I'm fairly upset because I caught a security guard threatening to arrest students for trespassing. They wanted to thank a teacher. There was a tennis match on the south side of this school building. They were participating in it. It looked they did a good job and wanted to tell their teacher. That's not an arresteble offence. This guard started making fun of the students, claiming they couldn't understand English. One kid looked terrified. The others looked shocked. When I cleared my throat, the security guard told me she'd get to me in a minute. Getting between her and the kids, I started my little rant about how arresting people for no reason wastes tax dollars and it was not fair for Aurorans in other school districts to pick up the law enforcement tab for their piddly school policies and inability to communicate them in a rational manner.
She interrupted me and called in a higher up to deal with me. I didn't get real answers and made the decision not to let my kids fundraise for the district or trust the security guard to let my kid in or out of school for fundraising or other types of activities. I promptly left a message on Facebook for my friends in the legislature (who dislike the criminalization of our youth) and my frenemie on the school board.
I don't know if they'll care. At least, it'll be practice if I have to give a speech or write or rant about it in the future.
I think the security guard should be retrained or out of a job. The first 12 year old who gets sexually assaulted because (s)he's kicked out of study hall for doing his/her work and forced outside without supervision is going cause a stir.
If I find out teenagers are being arrested for trespassing when picking up their younger siblings, I'm going to make this security guard and the arresting officers famous. If it is such a problem, then the school ought to start providing transportation.
They don't want to do that because it's too expensive.
According to Colorado law.....trespassing would imply ignoring a request to leave and/or criminal intent. It also only applies to people who enter an area where one would be prohibited if paying admission were required (chew on that...that's how a defense attorney just explained it to me).
I've confirmed that there is no Aurora code allowing cops to arrest kids for picking up their younger siblings or wanting to thank a teacher within 500 feet of a district sanctioned tennis match they were partaking in. If there are no signs warning of trespassing and if there is no criminal intent - there can be no tickets or arrest.
Remember this is public property. The kids they are threatening attend a school on the same campus. The schools are grouped together. It's hard for me to imagine them trespassing by waiting on the lawn for their siblings.
Maybe I need to spend a day in Education/Youth Court. I know some great activists in that arena.
Besides....this guard is not deputized....so....she'd have to call the police.
I've talked to the police department. They won't just arrest someone or ticket a child without investigating criminal intent. I'm trying to get answers from the school district.
Why do I have to see this crap? I have not had the pleasure of visiting this school without hearing an official threaten a kid with arrest this year. Every day I visit, I hear that threat made to a group of kids.
What gives?
Maybe I need to start taking videos and uploading them to YouTube and sending copies to the local news stations.
Adults should be able to communicate with each other. Answers should be forthcoming.
They're not.
They're not.
Public school officials are nearly impossible to communicate with - this doesn't set a good example for our youth.
The real problem with public schools in Colorado is that they are set up in such a way to make it impossible to communicate with them in a real, meaningful way. It's a maze of names that are unreachable.
Me? Over the years, I've learned to try the Principal. They never seem to return calls. The Principal's office gets a few hours before I go to the District Manager for the school. That person typically calls me back immediately. If no one gets back to me in twenty-four hours, I go to the press.
After seventeen years in this neighborhood, they've learned to call me back before the end of the business day.
The security guard is using the cops to do her job. She and/or these policies have been putting young people in danger for years. Either she, her boss, or the horrible policy she is using needs to go.
I have ways of dealing with a-holes. I'm on it.
********
I may seem to masquerade as a quiet and kind woman.
My voice rings with obnoxiousness when the city wants taxpayers to fund a private enterprise, when I catch public officials breaking the law, behaving unethically or being overtly nasty.
That is why I can NEVER date again.
I scare men with my power.
I'm determined to live the rest of my life alone.
Sigh.....
******
Usually, when I tell myself that I have to be alone, I run to eat junk food.
If I'm fat - no one will ask me out.
I've gained thirty pounds.
It hurts my knees.
I am wearing size 12 clothes now.
I'm obese.
I think this guy has cured my eating habit.
I realized that being fat didn't stop him from flirting with me.
In my sadness, I find myself gorging on kale.
Maybe he taught me something.
******
He tried to ask me out.
I....I stammered.....
I told him that I had to go water the plants in my office.
I'm lame.
The truth was....I had to get to the other side of town to confront a public official.
That......
that's why I have to be alone.
Men don't want outspoken women.
I'm contemplating leaving the class.....and searching for a job where my assertiveness will be a value to my employer.
May you find what you need when you need it most.
Love ya lots,
S.
09/06/2017 EDIT: The Principal for the school called me and said that they don't threaten children with arrest anymore. I was told she'd talk to security and get them clear on policy.
I was informed that they only tell high school students to stay off of the campus as a courtesy to the parents. There is no rule requiring these students to stay a certain number of feet away from the campus at any time.
I was told they only started hassling the high school students about being too close to the middle school three weeks ago. I know....that's not true. They've been doing that for five years.
The middle school and high school share a campus. Maybe parents need to spring for signage to spare the security officer's voice. She sure screams a lot in an effort to enforce a non-existent policy.
At least, they're trying.
I've been watching with my video camera at the ready. The security guards are lying to me about the policy and how long they've been yelling at kids for being on campus.
I hate gas lighting. I hate it when people tell you that things you've seen never happened.
Ugh.....
I'm old. I've seen this play out numerous times since 2002. I'll keep an eye on the situation and hope my conversation with the principal changes things.
One of my kids is being bullied by kids in her Spanish class. These bullies don't speak any Spanish. They are horrible students -so- I'm going to try to find someone to tutor my child in G-rated Spanish insults.
Maybe....she'll inspire her bullies to crack open a book or an app once in a while.
Teach your children well or someone else will.
There are always solutions to bullies - always.
Cheers.
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