Stupid Witches

Today I am thankful that I understand witchcraft.

A few days ago, one of my Facebook friends tried to recruit me to take part in a ritual to bind Donald Trump.

I gotta tell ya, the ritual is bunk.  I'll write more about that later.

By now, the story has hit all the major news outlets.  If you want to read about it, click this link:
http://insider.foxnews.com/2017/02/25/witches-cast-spell-donald-trump-crescent-moon-removal-office

There are two types of binding spells.  One type of binding spell is super evil, it binds another human being to you, whether or not they want it.  When I was seventeen,  a cutie put weird stuff in my coffee.  That was his attempt at a binding spell.  I think it worked.  I still love him.  I love him enough to hide from him. 

I also know how to break bad spells.  I probably should.....but...why bother?  The knowledge that I would hurt the one I love is surely enough to stop the spell from doing harm to him.

Speaking of preventing harm, the other type of binding spells binds the action of another.

Supposedly the witches want to bind Donald Trump so that he does not commit evil.

Define evil?

Is it not taxing people to the hilt?

Is it not caving in to bad scientists who are cooking up a scheme to tax the air?

Is it believing that the scientific method best works to study theory, not consensus?

Are all witches supposed to be liberal or something?

Let me hunt down the spell they sent me.  I didn't really look at it because it made me giggle.

It's not how I would curse a politician I felt was evil. 

I've been there.  I've done that.  I've got the T-Shirt and the stacks of newspaper articles. 

The best spell to bring down a nasty, lying politician is posting all of their threats (and the emails from their cronies) to a blog and running for their seat!

And the stories keep a' comin' now that I'm cleaning out my ex's crap.  Today, I saw that the city council charged us a fee for not filing an issue committee report four years after the issue committee was dissolved!!  Really????

My ex was a stupid man for hiding that from me.  Maybe he wasn't stupid.  He used that as an excuse to loot nearly $10,000 from me.  I hope I don't remember that if I have a little too much ritual fermented grape juice on a Friday night while staring at a statue of Bacchus.

The City Clerk and Council were stupid. 

Oh man......

******
Spell Ingredients:

1 ugly picture of Trump
a Tower tarot card
a pin
an orange candle or baby carrot
a feather
and matches.

“Once you have all those ingredients, you’ll just have to inscribe “Donald J. Trump” on the candle or carrot using the pin or nail, arrange the rest of the items in a circle, and start reciting a banishing ritual that includes lines like,

I call upon you / To bind / Donald J. Trump / So that he may fail utterly / That he may do no harm / To any human soul / Nor any tree / Animal / Rock / Stream / or Sea. Bind him so that he shall not break our polity / Usurp our liberty / Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair / And bind, too, / All those who enable his wickedness / And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies.”
*******

My reaction was What The *uck????!!!

In my tradition....orange candles are associated with SUCCESS!!  I guess you can use them for justice but be very careful with Nemesis.  Seriously, justice means very different things to different people.  To someone with Trump's mindset, his actions are just.

If one believes that what they are doing is right, would Karma punish him?  No. 

Besides, Trump isn't the one doing the harm.  The harm is coming from the asshole raging war on Syria (Cough...Pu...Cough).  The harm is coming from ICE.  The harm is coming from the perverted assholes with the TSA.

You know, witches, you pay taxes that fund this shit.  You are one of "those we enable his wickedness." Maybe Karma will blame you, too. 

Besides.....

Nails?  For a binding spell?  If you use 'em, make 'em rusty. 

If you want to bind someone, use black candles . 

If you're not sure you want to bind someone, use a white candle with a black exterior.  That way, you can reverse the spell.

The best binding spells come from reading Psalms 23. That wasn't on the spell I was sent.  I saw it in the papers.  They were right on that one. I chased away a guy who raped me reading that one to myself.  I had to get rid of the Bible that kid coffee (the wanna be warlock referenced above) gave me because I read that thing too much.

Casting spells isn't always a solution.  It doesn't make you feel better.  It should always be a last resort.

Besides if you cast a binding spell incorrectly, the offender won't be bound.  The casters WILL!!  If the economy goes to hades in a handbasket and we can't afford our orange candles, I'm blaming these 'effers.

Just teasing.  I won't blame the wanna-be-witches.

Every person I have bound has died of cancer before the candle burned down! These were people who threatened to kill me and put my children at risk.  I was typically angry when I cast because I had to repair doors, calm down elderly people or leave my jobs.

Those are spells I never want to even think about casting again.....ever.

I've become so scared of witchcraft that I actually have to state "with death or harm to no one."

Witchcraft is something I avoid even though I joke about it. 

I prefer mundane ways of handling other people's crap. 

It's easier. 

*******

Why bind Trump anyway?

Why not bless the Congress and Senate with the balls to enforce the Constitution (mainly Article 2)??

Trump is acting outside of his bounds.  

He needs restrained.

I don't think a spell is enough to do it.

Why not wish that the veil surrounding this administration be lifted?  Why not push for transparency?

Why not pray that the citizens unite in peace and love?

Why not pray that Trump gets a conscience?  That would probably kill him.  Why not make him weep for the people he's hurting? He'd be too busy to threaten people.

Why not pray that Bacchus (in the form of Liber) inspires Trump to understand what freedom truly is?  Wouldn't that be funny? Would the press want to report about a naked old guy running around the forest with a bunch of horny drunken women?

Why not pray for the war in Syria to stop? 

Why not pray for the enlightenment of the citizens?  That would kill both the Republican and Democratic parties, wouldn't it? 

Why not pray for positive things?

Why focus on the negative?

This is a stunt; a stupid, stupid stunt.

The best spell of all is to get politically active!

This is were the Deist faith comes in.  The Gods need us to take action.  We have free will.  We can use the gifts we are given to make the best of the world they have gifted us.  Let them rest, drink their wine and do whatever it is that holy entities do. 

Most of the founding fathers were Deist.

They wouldn't want you sitting around on your ass, hoping for things to change.

They'd want you to

Stand up. 

Be counted!

Run for office.

Honor the second article of that document they slaved over years ago. 

Get your Senator to ride Trump's ass.  That's their job, to fight the good fight.

If your representatives don't, find people who will and promote them.

Don't hide behind the spell books, unless you're doing it (like I did) to make fun of someone who called you a witch.


We need to live by the rules of the dimension in which we live. 

This spell work....it's not going to go anywhere. 

We need grunt work to get things done.

Love ya lots,

S. 

Yiannopoulos & Seeming Stockholm Syndrome

Today I am thankful I haven't forgotten my background.

I left the Libertarian Party out of deference to my Gods. 

I got used to the assholes in the party.  Most people are civil.  Most people can speak without being offensive morons.

It was the .02% I couldn't stand when they'd shame women.

Every party has smelly sexist assholes.

The Democrat assholes threaten to kill you.

The Republican assholes tell you to make them sandwiches.

The Libertarian assholes will tell you that women are only as free as the men that own them say they are.  I'm not joking, there are Libertarian men who believe that men should have the final say as to a woman's reproductive options. 

The Anarchist asshole I met would get upset if you had anything to do with the government (e.g. hold a driver's license, pay your taxes, call the police when you see a car in a crash, compliment the mayor and so on) but threatened to lie to the cops to get a restraining order against a person for refusing to speak to him.  No, I don't talk to this asshole anymore. 

You know....I've yet to met a Green Party asshole.  Maybe they don't exist?  Maybe there are not the sort of people you meet at the gas station.  Hmmmm......I'll ponder that one. 

******
As an auburn haired orphan, I learned early on to have a thick skin. 

I think by the time I hit twenty, I didn't give a crap what people said about me.  I'd probably heard it all by then. 

My venture into politics was not scary.  People are nuts.  People make up lies and crap to try to get to you.  They throw their stories into the air hoping that they would stick.

A lot of activists are like shit throwing monkeys.

Part of this blog was to joke about their stories.  If I truly were what some have said, I wouldn't live as I currently do. 

That's not why I'm writing.  I digress.  Please accept my apologies.

There is a point.  People criticize unfairly to draw you into a conversation and to use your precious energy.  The kind of people who mock others for being old, gay, female and so on are like energy vampires.  They do it to get a reaction and to have power over your inner peace.

They feed off your emotional energy.

Don't give it to them. 

Don't feed the emotional vampires.

*******

I try to avoid political drama.  There is a lot of drama.  I do my best not to follow it. 

Sometimes, in my avoidance of the drama, I miss key opportunities to explain to self-righteous assholes why people behave as they do. 

There is a young man, who is quite a douche, being vilified for saying stupid crap.  He gives speeches making fun of fat people, women and so on and so forth.  I don't follow the garbage so I can't speak to it.  I'll post a link for you to read up on him.

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2017/02/what-well-tolerate-and-what-we-wont

Now.....the Libertarians I know are bitching about him to the nth degree.  Conservatives label this guy as a Libertarian (he's not) and bitching about the party.

It's a mess.

I hear he was fired from his job at a libertarian publication.

Well.....employers have to do what is best for their organizations. 

Before we criticize this guy too much more....maybe we need to understand him.

Let's dissect his baloney, shall we? 

This guy, apparently, thinks it's okay for older men to have sex with adolescents.

Then, we learn, he was molested by a Catholic Priest*.

Let me restate this another way, he was objectified as a sex object by a Catholic Priest* when he was fourteen years old.

He was sexually abused by a Catholic Priest*.

Here is a newsflash; CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE!!

He was a sex object as an adolescent.  This probably explains his objectification of every one else. 

He was sexually abused.  This explains why he normalizes the behavior.  He's doing it to cope with his victimization.  He's trying to convince himself that he is not a victim.  That the lawbreaking behavior on the part of the priest was consensual.

By claiming responsibility for the Priest's lawlessness and sin, he enables himself to feel safer.  It gives him a sense of power and control.

The man needs help! 

The man sounds like he has Stockholm Syndrome!

The thing that really chaps my hide is that the woman I see vilifying him on her Facebook page is a psychologist!!!

Sigh....

Don't fear this young man**.  Don't give him anything other than pity. 

I hope it's not too late to take his rapist to prison. 

Let's be honest, shall we?

This guy is a victim who is identifying with his rapist.

The guy who did this to him is a rapist. He needs imprisoned.  And if the Anarchists bitch because I wrote that, let me tell you that prison is far more merciful that what I would wish to do with him***.  

How many other young me are suffering from the aftereffects of sexual abuse?

Light a candle for Milo Yiannopoulos.  He's young enough to recover.  Who knows what he can accomplish and how many victims of sexual assault he can inspire.

He's angry.  He has every flippin' right to be angry.  His parents let him down.  His neighbors let him down.  The Catholic church let him down.

He survived hell on his own.  Where were the adults in his life? 

And yes.......I know he spends his time making fun of people like me.  You know what?  I will laugh if someone calls me an old, fat, bitchy cunt.  The other day I had someone call me "a living angel."  That is life.  Everyone perceives people, places and things differently. 

All that truly matters is how we see ourselves.  I pray this kid gets a grip on who he truly is. 

He didn't deserve what happened to him.  He deserved to have a childhood and not be forced to experience things before he was ready for them.  That sexual predator stole his youth.

That predator rapist pig doesn't need to steal anything more from this young man.

It's never to late for any of us to become what we might have been. 

Blessed Be,

S.


*This is why I am not Christian.  I can meditate to my candles.  I can pray.  There are times when I will see the face of Jesus and feel love for my brethren (even the assholes).  I am not Christian.  I am Pagan.  Christ didn't ruin the religion for me.  The men who represent it did.  The entire Catholic sex scandal is enough to prove to me that the religion is a hypocrisy.  Not to mention that much of Catholicism is Paganism.  Even the demons in my religion refuse to condone rape (Don't believe me?  Research Lilith.). 


** Yes, I'll call him a young man because his emotional growth was stunted when he was raped at age 14.  Think about it.  He acts like he stopped growing at 14!


***It's a shame those stories about my incubi are.....gossip.  Remember, the stories about the incubi were created by Catholic Scholars......so....yeah....more people lying to vilify groups of people. 

Such is life....

Sigh....

Strange Day

I'm not sure what to be thankful for today.

I'll start free writing and see if I have something....

So....about 11:00 a.m., I found myself in a meeting.

I was pulled out of that meeting into another meeting. 

All of my workmates were there.

We were all terminated.

While everyone sat in the meeting gathering their bearings, I was yanked out of that meeting and brought into another meeting with a head honcho from Corporate.

I wasn't supposed to be in the termination meeting. 

They sent me to a third meeting.

They want me to work from home....with my stalker crap.

So....I may as well be terminated.

They let go of eighty people today. 

They kept twelve of us. 

So....

Maybe I'm thankful for LinkedIn.  I'm finding myself trying to hunt down the eighty people fired and write recommendations for the ones I know.

I guess I'm going to have to start posting my inspirational stuff to Facebook again.

I think people are going to need it.

**********

I still have my hypnosis job. 

I did that today.

That was strange, too. 

I did a Groupon last year. Never do that. I could tell you stories.  I've had people come in for service and get refunded (even though they claimed to stop smoking or whatever), these people just wanted something for free.  I had one person in New York buy a Groupon for two hypnosis sessions and get angry because I wouldn't redeem it for a custom hypnosis videos that she could resell on her website (I charge nearly $1,000 for that); Groupon refunded her after she threw a fit. The experience that  takes the cake is the criminal who wanted me to hypnotize him to lie to the police; I had to fight Groupon to get HIM a refund (he threatened to get his money's worth out of me in a sexual manner). 

Groupon sucks.  I signed up for them to sell 50 vouchers.  They've sold 54.  They sent me a notice asking if I wanted to opt out of automatically renewing my agreement.  I never want to do business with them again.  I made about $10 an hour (maybe less) and it wasn't worth the headache.

Many of the people who buy the Groupons are from my home town.  They drive two hours to see me.
. 
The Groupon client who bothered to show up (many Groupon people don't show up) was an older gentleman.

When I saw his name, his address and his birthdate, I knew who he was in an instant!

We grew up together.

We went to school together.

He still lives in the same house!

He doesn't know who I am yet.....I'm sure his wife will clue him in when she sees my name. 

Oh my.....

We both look so old!!!

How in the world did that happen?

When did that happen?

Oh my......

I'm glad to know most of my high school friends have been in thirty year marriages.

I was married seventeen.  My ex lived with me twenty-four and a half years.  It took me three years to evict him after our divorce!

I guess I'm happy that people I went to school with are happy and that I get to help them succeed.

******
I've got a lot to think about.

I'm looking for another job and trying to help my former colleagues network.  I guess I'll have to collect the child support I'm owed just to stay above water.

I guess I need to start charging $150 per hour again so I can get back on my feet.

I met some interesting souls through Groupon but I NEVER want to do that again. 

Hypnotize someone to lie to the cops?  Really? 

Oh my....

At least my life is an adventure.

******
To top it all off, I scratched my Ruthless People CD.   I've listened to that soundtrack everyday for over thirty years!  It's not fair!

I tried listening to Duran Duran (All You Need is Now) but.....the stalker song makes me angry now that I finally see how much I can do without being followed by annoying people.



I tried listening to Kylie but I can't dance in my Buick....so....



I'm now listening to Queen. Bohemian Rhapsody to be exact.  I decided, on my drive home, that what I truly want in a man is the ability to sing Bohemian Rhapsody with me in a car and let me ogle bass guitars in the windows of expensive luthier shops. 

I wonder where I can find such a catch?

I guess it's nice to drill down what I really want in a man. 

If you see an old auburn haired lady wailing "Galileo" in a silver Buick (with a brand new set of awesome lights), that'll be me. 




Oh....that means that

Today I am thankful for LinkedIn.
Today I am thankful that I haven't run into the stalker (so it may be over).
Today I am thankful I'll never run another Groupon.
Soon I'll be thankful for Botox. 
Today I am thankful for guitar shops.
Finally, I am thankful that "nothing really matters,  anyone can see..... nothing really matters, nothing really matters to meeeeeee!"

I learned a lot today. 

May you not need to learn so much so quickly.

Love ya lots,

S. 

The Halal Market

Today I am thankful for the lessons learned by watching the body language of a seven year old boy of middle eastern descent.

I am not happy about his body language.

He taught me something.

At first I was sad.

Now, I am angry.

******

I used to be vegetarian.

I was awesomely skinny when I didn't eat meat.

It was nice.

I didn't seam to age either.

Perhaps it was a subconscious thing.  My step-father was Cherokee and he would say that we had to thank animals before killing them and use every part of the animal.  If you didn't do that, you would ingest all the pain and loss of the animal that was disrespected.

The problem was, when I was vegetarian, my hair started to fall out.

I would faint a lot.

At the time, I thought it was due to my lack of protein. 

It turns out I'm allergic to eggs, soy and peanuts.  Those were my primary sources of protein.

I also have asthma due to the allergies.  I probably should move because I'm allergic to the trees in the front yard of my house!

When I was a vegetarian, I used to shop at the Halal market.  These were the years after 9/11.  People were nice.  One day when I was sick, an elderly man handed me a packet of borage herb and told me to make a tea out of it.  It cost a dollar. 

I did as he instructed and it healed me right up.


I met beautiful, wonderful people at this shop.

When I started eating meat, I stopped visiting.

*******

My workplace is having a potluck dinner for Valentine's Day.  The theme is 'Keeping the Heart Healthy.'

I guess the thought is that those of us with hearts that carry emotional scars can partake in a healthy meal to keep it well in physicality.

That means that we can live longer in our misery.

I was asked to make falafel and tabouli.  Hummus sounds pretty good, too.

So, I made a trip with one of my daughters to the Halal market in the area.

Young people don't understand discrimination. They tend to be ego-centric, thinking that if anything happens to them, that they are at fault.  They take everything inward.  It is very hurtful to young people. 

I always hated the parking lot.  There are, perhaps, only twelve parking spaces.  There really isn't a lot of room to walk or load the car.

We stopped in the parking lot to wait for a family to cross the street.  There was a man, a woman and five children.  Three girls and two boys. 

I made my own parking spot by a dumpster.  We walked over the family and offered to take their empty cart so they wouldn't have to walk it across the street again.

The man seemed shocked. 

That's weird.  Everybody used to do that for each other.

What's wrong?

We go inside and shop.  My daughter wanted rose water, fresh olives, hazelnuts, juice, flat bread and many types of vegetables.  We filled the cart. 

There was a young man, about the age of seven, cowering at the side of the isle.  He wasn't free.  He wasn't giving us eye contact.  Somehow he had become separated from his family. 

He was definitely of middle eastern descent.  He had the beautiful golden skin, brown eyes and dark hair.

He was afraid of my daughter and I.

I'm so ugly white, I'm translucent. 

When he saw us, he someone managed to make himself smaller and rush past the few inches between the cart and the groceries.  If he had walked on the other side of the cart, he would have had three feet of room.

I watched the children.

The really young kids, ran and played.  If they were under the age of five, they didn't seem to be different.

The demeanor of some of the other children bothered me.

I'm thinking that anti-immigrant politics is harming my community in a very negative way.

When I left, I noticed the cashier charging me two and three times for many items.  He scanned the flatbread three times, the garbanzo bean powder twice.  I left paying twice of what I should have paid.

I will never go back to this store.  

I wonder why?

I'm fairly certain that there is a lot of pain in the Muslim community for the antics of a Child in Chief?

Trump needs to grow up.  This is reality.  It is NOT a reality show. 

People are being hurt by his tantrums.  Children are terrified. 

People are angry.

I wish that one of those alleged 466 Djinn I allegedly own were real.

If so, that travel ban will never, ever become a reality again. 

The travel ban is a political ruse meant to appease the uneducated.  There was no research behind it.  There was no thought behind it.  People were detained and threatened to go back to countries where officials have vowed to kill them upon re-entry.

If you want proof, use Google.  You can Google the reason the court had to make the decision to put a stop to it.  Read the story of the man that sued to stop it. 

To the idiots that say that people who enter our country without citizenship have no Constitutional rights, remember they often have relatives here who are citizens.

Their relatives have rights.   We're trampling on those.

We are also forgetting that every state in the union has its own Constitution.  There are 51 Constitutions conferring rights and responsibilities to the citizens of this county.

Trump will never trample state rights for very long.  If he does, he's a fake, fraud Republican. 

If you want to protect the rights of citizens, reach out to your state legislature.

*********

Whatever happened to the days when conservatives welcomed immigrants with open arms?

Many of us still do.

Trump is using our country as a set of a reality show.

I WISH Donald Trump would stop playing games with the citizenry. I wish he'd become so transparent that we know what he's going to do next.  I WISH we all knew everything he was doing 24/7....every thought...every desire....every tactic.....every good thing and every evil deed.

I'll stop short of wishing that he and Pence meet St. Peter (or whoever it is that greets evil doers in Hell).  Pagans, like me, don't believe in Hell.  Christian theology is confusing.

One can easily see why he chose the man he did to succeed him.  Pence is excellent life insurance, isn't he?   Maybe I could WISH that they both have personal crisis situations that teach them empathy.

Alas....the Arabian Nights are just a collection of stories.

Or are they?

Sadly, I know the truth.  I'll keep it to myself and my collection of pretty lamps.



Love ya lots,

S. 










 

Strange Saying

Today I am thankful for the strange euphemisms in the English language. 


I have a strange day job.

I coach sales agents. 

I call them.  I listen to them.  I give them tips.

Today, I called one.

She was perfect!

She was awesome.  She had a gorgeous voice that let callers know that they were the most important people in the universe.

I could not ask a single question to throw her off her game.

She was great.

I had to tell her that she was good.

We spoke a bit about the hardships of sales.

And she said....

"That's the way things are.  There are some things we can't do.  We can't fight city hall."

I said... "Well, you can fight city hall.  Government officials just like to harass people who stand up to them.  If that fails, then they try to make you feel guilty when you win."

This person is an immigrant.  I'm wondering if her statement betrays her fears surrounding Donald Trump's presidency.  I didn't ask. 

I hear grumblings from people at work.  I hear their fears about being sent away or anger at the thought that all Mexicans are criminals.  I watch people get violent in the break room when they are watching CNN and Trump starts bashing Muslims. 

Maybe she needs to know she can fight the government.  People will fight.  People are fighting for her right now.

*****

Life is funny.  I wonder when people will get wise to the political game?

I jumped into politics about ten years ago after taking a back seat for twenty years.  It started when a Tax Audit Supervisor stole $500 bucks from my family.  She basically threatened my ex if he didn't give her the cash.  I traced it to her.  When I asked why the city manager let her steal my money, an Assistant City Attorney started harassing me.  So I filed a complaint against her with Colorado Supreme Court.  At that point, the cops started harassing me.  I started collecting my experiences in a blog. 

I'm a redhead who was orphaned as a child.  Threats don't work on me. 

I put an ad on Craigslist asking other people who had money stolen from them by the city contact me.  That opened my eyes to many abuses.  Once in a while, people still approach me with their stories.  I wish people weren't too afraid to fight.  

Eight years ago, I started to share the nasty threatening correspondence I received from city employees in a second blog.  The city lawyers did not like that one bit.  How they handled it is another story in and of itself. 

I joined a tax activist group.  A mayoral candidate asked me to run against him because he thought I'd make him sound sane.  I did.  Funny thing, when you go into the public eye, the harassment tends to stop.

It did. I still got nasty emails from the Tax Audit Supervisor that stole the money.  That's when I realized there was something funky going on between her and my ex.  She knew too much about me.  The things she said mirrored the things my stalker in-laws said.  That's when I realized he was smearing me to his family and his work mates.  That was causing harassment on two fronts (his family and the city).

The group I was in won a couple of fights against tax hikes. I still run across the occasional grouch upset that they lost a tax hike measure eight years ago.  They don't understand the dynamics of the tax hike request.  The City Council stole money from the libraries and shoved it in the general fund.  Then they threatened to fire a bunch of librarians if they didn't get to raise property taxes and override our TABOR Amendment.

Everyone loves librarians.  That was why the chose to threaten the libraries.  They thought it was a slam dunk. The slogan they used to push the tax hike was something like...if everyone paid just $5 a day, we could save the libraries.

Yeah.. I know elderly people who don't have the luxury of $5 per day to buy food.  They can't afford a property tax hike.  Sorry....

No one was fired when they lost the tax hike.  One librarian became an interim City Manager and she got the privilege of ignoring me and not telling me why they let some brat steal $500 and harass me. No one was fired.

If city officials were more open and honest, they'd build trust with the community and their tax hikes would pass.

They've got to stop fining people and acting like jerks. 

They don't listen to me.

In years past, I've tried talking to stupid politicians who don't listen.  They do dumb shit to ruin their chances of winning (e.g smear campaign against their opponent thus dirtying their hands by slinging crap).  They always lose when they resort to these types of tactics because it takes the focus away from the issues.  People associate their names with the crap they flung.

At least, someone is paying me to teach sales people how to build trust and rapport with prospects.
I'd like to go one step further and teach them NLP but that might be going too far. 

As a recording artist, I'm thinking of buying microphone filters for their telephone agents so they sound better. 

It's a good job. I get to use my other experience to make some money. 

It pays the bills.  They give me health insurance and let me stay anonymous so I don't have to worry about the stalking. They've got a nice security team, too.  At least I feel safe. 

Once in a while a sales agent will threaten to beat me up in the parking lot after work.  That only happens when they don't want to hear my feedback.  Those are the times I think about quitting.  Thankfully....I'm a redhead in disguise who has PTSD, a CCW and pepper spray.  I pity any fool who tries to jump me in a parking lot. 

It sucks working two jobs.  I'll never get child support, alimony or any of the money stolen from me back. I've got judgments for over $50,000.  I'll never see the money, so  I need work to two jobs or more. 

At least I still get to see my hypnosis clients.  That's what makes me thrive.

I'm using a social deal site to advertise just because they help me stay anonymous.  After they take their cut, I get about $10.00 an hour (not counting the work I do making customized recordings in my studio for the clients).  I need to find a way to advertise while hiding from my ex's family.  The answer will probably involve changing the name of my business and the branding. It sucks to have to change my brand. 

At least I do something worthwhile.  May you do the work that makes you want to wake up every morning.

Love ya,

S. 

Lessons From A Car Crash

Today I am thankful for a reminder that living in faith can be beautiful. 


I used to live my life as a bohemian.

I used to dress like one, too.

I probably still could.  I have many lace dresses and leather boots.  I think in my fantasy world, I look like Stevie Nicks.

In reality, I'm told I look like Susan Sarandon (think old school Rocky Horror Picture Show). This is probably part of the reason I got the modeling gig when I was younger.  The other reason was that my sister was making fun of my appearance in front of a model scout.  He handed me his card, a pen and an application for a modeling contest.  I came in tenth and scored a couple of gigs before I decided a hated it.

Not bad for someone who just wanted to grow up to be a music teacher, eh?

In actuality, I probably look like Ms. Piggy now.  I'm a size 12.  I've got to stop drinking soda.

Anyway....

I used to live and dress like a bohemian.  By that I mean that nothing stressed me out.  The doctors told me I had a brain tumor in '89.  I wasn't worried.  It turned out to be a mix-up with a MRI.

I had no money.  Money had a way of coming to me.

As long as I didn't fret, I got what I needed.

It could be my attitude.  It could be the djinn I allegedly own. 

I don't know. 

I always managed to find what I needed.  I just had to have faith.

I found friends among people who were supposed to be enemies.  I found work.  I found like minded people.

I found fun and love and friendship.

Life was good.

That changed with the stalking.  It didn't matter what I did.  I was pursued.  My money was stolen.  My things were broken.  My loved ones were threatened.

It was a mess.

I felt the need to isolate myself to keep others safe.

When a good woman doesn't have any more to lose and she thinks fighting will save others,

a good woman goes to war.

I did.

Nothing scares me anymore.

As long as I don't have friends or family who can be hurt, I fear nothing.

I'm still isolating myself.

I probably shouldn't be doing that.

******

Last month, I was rear ended by a Hummer H2.  The man that hit me was apologetic and shaken.  He handed me his insurance card, made sure I was okay and promised to cut me a check.

I didn't want his money. 

He wanted me to take the car to a body shop to repair it.  It just needed two new lights. I told him that wasn't necessary.

He seemed a little shaken at first.  I gently touched his shoulder and told him all that mattered was that we were all okay.  He calmed down and waited for me to leave before he drove off. 

I wasn't worried about it. I figured I could get around to fixing the car on my own eventually. 

This man taught me a few things.

First, he taught me that I'm far too easy to find.  The very next day, I arrived home to find a note taped to my front door asking to repair the damage to my car.  He said he'd do it himself if I wouldn't take the car to a body shop.

The next day, he called my office.  I don't know how he found me.  All he had was my name.  My first is Australian slang for girl.  I have one of the most common last names in the country.  I wore no political buttons. There was no signage on my car denoting my occupation.

All he had was my name.  I chose my name because it is incredibly common!!!  I'm supposed to be hard to find. 

You've got to be kidding me.  He FOUND me.  In my state, it is impossible to track me through the DMV, unless you're in law enforcement.

How did he find me?  My ex-husband's name was still on the policy because that was the only card I had with me....the one with the policy I paid for Michael. I figured the insurer could cross reference the accounts in a pinch.  I still pay for Mike's policy as they won't let me cancel it. 

This guy found me.

He called again the next day and the next. 

I don't know how he found me.  I must make it too easy. 

I finally called him back on a Saturday morning, thinking he wasn't working.  Turns out, he was setting up a PA system for a gig later that night.  It turns out he hosts weekend shows at a local pub.

I guess I should go sometime.

He set up a date to fix my car.

And he did.  He arrived a little early, in front of my house and called my name.

All of my efforts at changing my appearance failed.  He KNEW who I was.

I'm so disappointed.

This gentleman cleaned my car, spoke about the care he took in finding the parts and put the thing together in half an hour.  We stood around talking about his birthday (he's a couple of years older than I), rap music, 80's music, wanna be singers and their managers, the death of his parents and hypnotism.

He sounded lonely. 

He sounded a lot like me.

I should have invited him in for dinner.

I wasn't thinking. 

He left.  I told him I'd go to a show.

Maybe the Gods bring people to you who are a lot like you are.  He told me where to find him.  He fantasizes about winning the lottery.  He lives just a few blocks away. 

Maybe I'll have to go to a show one of these weekends and bring him a lottery ticket or two.

I've got a lot to think about. 

I'm going to have to make it much, much harder to find me.

The greatest part of this lesson is that faith in the human race is a very freeing thing.  It's nice to know that people, for the most part, are honest and good.  It was nice having someone be so thoughtful in relation to another person.

Maybe I have a teeny, tiny crush. 

It'll pass. 

I look like Ms. Piggy.  I'm not going to date until I drop 20 pounds.  If I love someone, I won't squish them.

By the time I lose the weight, maybe I'll work through whatever it is that scares me. 

While I'm waiting I can make a conscious effort to pay the goodness forward. 

May your faith in your brethren grow, too. 

Life is so much brighter when we don't worry so much. 

Love ya lots,

S. 

Dreams of Demons

Today I am thankful for dark dreams.

Yes, I'm still having strange dreams. 

I'm trying to chase them away with allergy medication. 

I don't think it's working.

So, I still have dreams of men from my past.  Okay, one man from the past.

My subconscious mind must be trying to work something out.

I want to know why I suck in relationships so badly.

I'm avoiding men like the plague. 

They want to rescue me.

I find an excuse to do the Irish good-bye (sneaking out the back without saying a word).

I decided that gaining weight would keep them away.

No, weight gain just hurts my joints.

I'm getting to the point of eating salad at every meal. 

It's nice.

For once in my life I can eat real food....not the protein shakes and diet dr. office crap.

I used to hate eating food because it made me sick.  I didn't realize I was allergic to most of it. 

No milk, no wheat, no soy, no bananas, no nuts, no shellfish...

I love tofu but cannot enjoy the noun.

Someday I'll find someone to share the verb with.

I wasn't anorexic. 

I was allergic. 

My eating disorder makes so much sense now. 

My life is currently changing. 

I'm not sure what to think.

I am allergic to many of the trees and weeds native to my area.  I can't hike anymore.

Maybe the Gods want me to move. 

******
Never complain to new age people, especially astrologers.

Don't do it.

I complained about my dreams to one.  She got my birthday and the subject of the dream's birthday and claimed it was a psychic connection.

There's something strange about that.

I have two other friends born on that exact day.

I don't dream of them!!

Someone is pulling my chain.

After talking to her, the strangest thing happened.  I stopped dreaming about my ex and started dreaming of red beings.

I think they're supposed to be demons.

Strange, isn't it?

The demons just want to talk but I don't understand what they're tying to say.

My subconscious mind is definitely trying to warn me about something.

I am having dreams of being attacked in my home.

The dreams are getting so bad I'm thinking about moving.

The property damage is starting to get to me.

******
I've been promoted temporarily at one of my jobs.

It's breaking my heart. 

I have feelings for one of my colleagues.  We can never be together due to issues of faith.  He's an extremist Christian.  I'm Pagan and many of my Gods are gay. 

He's alone.  It's a long story.  That's probably the worst part of it.  He wrote a book about it.  I'm having trouble getting through the book.  It makes me cry.

He swoons around me.  I know...there is love there. 

We used to sit next to each other.  We'd spend hours talking about music theory, music education, being in bands and the things we would do so our colleagues can sound better on the phone.

I miss our talks.

Years ago, he was my favorite disc jockey.  He says that he admires me for running for office in the town he lives in.

He wrote a book.  I buy copies but wind up giving them away before I can finish reading it.  I always meet someone who needs the book.  I happily give it away so I can buy another. 

I'm surprised he's still working with this company. 

They treat him poorly.  He has issues that can easily be remedied with software.

The company isn't ADA compliant.  They won't purchase or allow the installation of the software.

They don't understand.  Could you imagine the PR if this guy went forward with how awesome this company is?  It's a big company.  Having a former local celebrity sing their praises could take them a long away.

The company doesn't want to be awesome.

I only see him sporadically since I was promoted.

He used to hide chocolates on my desk.

When I am in his building, I sneak in to hide chocolates under his mouse.

That was a fun game.

I miss that. 

Now, I'm feeling uncomfortable.

I supervise him now.

I listen to him for the purpose of giving him feedback to help him improve.

To me, he's awesome. 

I have to truly concentrate on his voice.

I hear the pain in his voice.

I hear his frustration.

I want to run away.

Women have screwed him over in the past. 

He's in pain.

He tries so hard to hide it.

It's not fair.

Life is not fair.

I've met Job.

Maybe I'm the demon?

Maybe I'm the red demon who tempts Job to doubt his God?

I don't want to be the demon.

Maybe I need to move and run away.

It's not worth harming another human being. 

*******
I don't know.

I think we can work ourselves so hard that we can't think or feel.

This is where I am.

I'm wondering if I should leave my job -or- stop doing hypnosis -or- get more singing and bass lessons to join a band -or- move out of state

I don't know what to do.

I'm numb. 

So, I'm going to take some time to meditate and see if I can understand what the demons in my dreams are telling me.

*******

What was my biggest lesson this week?

Never ask an astrologer for advice.....nutty stuff?  huh?

Psychic connections??? I pray that's not possible.  I'd feel sorry for any human being who could hear the laughable and filthy things I think.

Seriously.....

I can barely stand it. 

Love ya lots,

S.