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Stupid Witches


Today I am thankful that I understand witchcraft.

A few days ago, one of my Facebook friends tried to recruit me to take part in a ritual to bind Donald Trump.

I gotta tell ya, the ritual is bunk.  I'll write more about that later.

By now, the story has hit all the major news outlets.  If you want to read about it, click this link:
http://insider.foxnews.com/2017/02/25/witches-cast-spell-donald-trump-crescent-moon-removal-office

There are two types of binding spells.  One type of binding spell is super evil, it binds another human being to you, whether or not they want it.  When I was seventeen,  a cutie put weird stuff in my coffee.  That was his attempt at a binding spell.  I think it worked.  I still love him.  I love him enough to hide from him. 

I also know how to break bad spells.  I probably should.....but...why bother?  The knowledge that I would hurt the one I love is surely enough to stop the spell from doing harm to him.

Speaking of preventing harm, the other type of binding spells binds the action of another.

Supposedly the witches want to bind Donald Trump so that he does not commit evil.

Define evil?

Is it not taxing people to the hilt?

Is it not caving in to bad scientists who are cooking up a scheme to tax the air?

Is it believing that the scientific method best works to study theory, not consensus?

Are all witches supposed to be liberal or something?

Let me hunt down the spell they sent me.  I didn't really look at it because it made me giggle.

It's not how I would curse a politician I felt was evil. 

I've been there.  I've done that.  I've got the T-Shirt and the stacks of newspaper articles. 

The best spell to bring down a nasty, lying politician is posting all of their threats (and the emails from their cronies) to a blog and running for their seat!

And the stories keep a' comin' now that I'm cleaning out my ex's crap.  Today, I saw that the city council charged us a fee for not filing an issue committee report four years after the issue committee was dissolved!!  Really????

My ex was a stupid man for hiding that from me.  Maybe he wasn't stupid.  He used that as an excuse to loot nearly $10,000 from me.  I hope I don't remember that if I have a little too much ritual fermented grape juice on a Friday night while staring at a statue of Bacchus.

The City Clerk and Council were stupid. 

Oh man......

******
Spell Ingredients:

1 ugly picture of Trump
a Tower tarot card
a pin
an orange candle or baby carrot
a feather
and matches.

“Once you have all those ingredients, you’ll just have to inscribe “Donald J. Trump” on the candle or carrot using the pin or nail, arrange the rest of the items in a circle, and start reciting a banishing ritual that includes lines like,

I call upon you / To bind / Donald J. Trump / So that he may fail utterly / That he may do no harm / To any human soul / Nor any tree / Animal / Rock / Stream / or Sea. Bind him so that he shall not break our polity / Usurp our liberty / Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair / And bind, too, / All those who enable his wickedness / And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies.”
*******

My reaction was What The *uck????!!!

In my tradition....orange candles are associated with SUCCESS!!  I guess you can use them for justice but be very careful with Nemesis.  Seriously, justice means very different things to different people.  To someone with Trump's mindset, his actions are just.

If one believes that what they are doing is right, would Karma punish him?  No. 

Besides, Trump isn't the one doing the harm.  The harm is coming from the asshole raging war on Syria (Cough...Pu...Cough).  The harm is coming from ICE.  The harm is coming from the perverted assholes with the TSA.

You know, witches, you pay taxes that fund this shit.  You are one of "those we enable his wickedness." Maybe Karma will blame you, too. 

Besides.....

Nails?  For a binding spell?  If you use 'em, make 'em rusty. 

If you want to bind someone, use black candles . 

If you're not sure you want to bind someone, use a white candle with a black exterior.  That way, you can reverse the spell.

The best binding spells come from reading Psalms 23. That wasn't on the spell I was sent.  I saw it in the papers.  They were right on that one. I chased away a guy who raped me reading that one to myself.  I had to get rid of the Bible that kid coffee (the wanna be warlock referenced above) gave me because I read that thing too much.

Casting spells isn't always a solution.  It doesn't make you feel better.  It should always be a last resort.

Besides if you cast a binding spell incorrectly, the offender won't be bound.  The casters WILL!!  If the economy goes to hades in a handbasket and we can't afford our orange candles, I'm blaming these 'effers.

Just teasing.  I won't blame the wanna-be-witches.

Every person I have bound has died of cancer before the candle burned down! These were people who threatened to kill me and put my children at risk.  I was typically angry when I cast because I had to repair doors, calm down elderly people or leave my jobs.

Those are spells I never want to even think about casting again.....ever.

I've become so scared of witchcraft that I actually have to state "with death or harm to no one."

Witchcraft is something I avoid even though I joke about it. 

I prefer mundane ways of handling other people's crap. 

It's easier. 

*******

Why bind Trump anyway?

Why not bless the Congress and Senate with the balls to enforce the Constitution (mainly Article 2)??

Trump is acting outside of his bounds.  

He needs restrained.

I don't think a spell is enough to do it.

Why not wish that the veil surrounding this administration be lifted?  Why not push for transparency?

Why not pray that the citizens unite in peace and love?

Why not pray that Trump gets a conscience?  That would probably kill him.  Why not make him weep for the people he's hurting? He'd be too busy to threaten people.

Why not pray that Bacchus (in the form of Liber) inspires Trump to understand what freedom truly is?  Wouldn't that be funny? Would the press want to report about a naked old guy running around the forest with a bunch of horny drunken women?

Why not pray for the war in Syria to stop? 

Why not pray for the enlightenment of the citizens?  That would kill both the Republican and Democratic parties, wouldn't it? 

Why not pray for positive things?

Why focus on the negative?

This is a stunt; a stupid, stupid stunt.

The best spell of all is to get politically active!

This is were the Deist faith comes in.  The Gods need us to take action.  We have free will.  We can use the gifts we are given to make the best of the world they have gifted us.  Let them rest, drink their wine and do whatever it is that holy entities do. 

Most of the founding fathers were Deist.

They wouldn't want you sitting around on your ass, hoping for things to change.

They'd want you to

Stand up. 

Be counted!

Run for office.

Honor the second article of that document they slaved over years ago. 

Get your Senator to ride Trump's ass.  That's their job, to fight the good fight.

If your representatives don't, find people who will and promote them.

Don't hide behind the spell books, unless you're doing it (like I did) to make fun of someone who called you a witch.


We need to live by the rules of the dimension in which we live. 

This spell work....it's not going to go anywhere. 

We need grunt work to get things done.

Love ya lots,

S. 


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