What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this.
I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call
I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call
but
wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.
I probably should document this somewhere.
My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin.
I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.
She wanted me to plan interventions.
This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).
I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.
We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went missing. Part of me wonders if that is how Shannon had something that fit into our locks. She could have bought a $3.00 bump key, too.
Mike told his cousin everything. He told her when I worked. He told her when Tom called me. He told her when I went out with male colleagues. They spoke on a daily basis.
I was never comfortable with that.
Then the stalking became worse. Last month, he stopped talking to her.
She's been calling me. On Thursday of last week, she called asking if I'd meet her at a Catholic cemetery. I said 'no'. Last time I met her at a Catholic church overlooking that cemetary, her uncle made a threatening gesture towards me.
I don't even know what I did. I went to college. I refused to badmouth this cousin and my brother-in-law. I know that pissed people in the family off.
I don't know why they are angry.
The last thing I'm going to do is meet with her in public again. She's NOT the stalker. My brother-in-law said that Shannon and his mother use this cousin as a go-between. They use her to gather information about me and the children.
This friend hasn't spoken to me since 2010 after the Catholic church incident.
She called me last Thursday. I told her that I had to cease talking to her and other relatives until the police can help me sort out the stalking business. We both know the stalker, so this is for her safety and mine. I reminded her that I loved her but I needed to avoid talking to her at this point in time.
This was the second time we had the conversation. The first time it was via Facebook. I can't friend her over the stalking.
This was the second time we had the conversation. The first time it was via Facebook. I can't friend her over the stalking.
She called my cell phone yesterday as I returned home from the lawyer. I gave her the same speech for the third time.
I thought I should document this.
I still think my ex was keeping tabs on me and using his family to do this. The only way he agreed to divorce me is if I let him stay in the house with me and if I refuse to date other men throughout the divorce.
I'll let him have his control. The man I was interested in left. I'm really not interested in looking at anyone else.
Why not let him win the one tiny battle?
I'm going to win the war.
I'm going to win the war.
In the past there were threats about his parents suing for grandparent visitation. My mother-in-law would easily lose due to the stalking and the abusive phone messages she's left for me over the years.
My ex says that they are stalking me to run me out of the marriage and house. My mother-in-law can only sue for visitation during a pending separation and only if custody is in dispute. My ex doesn't want any responsibility for the kids, so that will NOT be a dispute. That will be my domain.
I'm wondering...are they following me to try to get me to tell them when the separation is occurring so they can make that to my ex threat again? Could this be about not being allowed to see the grandkids?
That woman allowed her daughter to abuse them!
Her son was abused by his mother.
She beat my ex when he was a little boy. At two years old, he suffered from a head injury and had to have treatment this head injury for many years. He was finally cleared of the injury in 2003 at the age of 35.
She beat my ex when he was a little boy. At two years old, he suffered from a head injury and had to have treatment this head injury for many years. He was finally cleared of the injury in 2003 at the age of 35.
If my ex says 'no' to allowing his mother and sister to see his kids, I'm going to honor that. He is going to have to be present for any visitation with is mother. In my state, grandparents rights are derived from their son or daughter's custodial rights. There is a reason we activists pushed for that. We need to keep abusive parents (or narcissistic ones) from using their grandchildren as a means to harass their adult children.
There is something else I should document, too. It is about Doug. He is Shannon's boyfriend. The woman that he attacked in my office building looks like my mother-in-law.
My ex says that his family is terrified of Doug. I pointed out that Doug may either have an issue with his future mother-in-law or older women. I asked him to check on his mom or have the relatives call the county should something be amiss.
My ex called the county social service department yesterday to ask for a wellness visit. The guy that answered the phone would only say that he was well acquainted with the name of my mother-in-law.
This may go deeper than I thought. This is too crazy. If things amped up when Doug came into the fold, could they be pushing to see the kids as a way to either terrorize or get something from my mother-in-law.
I don't know but right before my mother-in-law and her family started lying about me, my mother-in-law confided that her other son and his wife spoke about stealing her property out from under her when her husband died. I didn't believe her. I had an attorney on retainer and asked my ex to consider taking his mother to see him, so she could put together a will. That lawyer promised me one free will; I gave it to her.
My ex never even spoke to her about it. I told my mother-in-law to talk to her son about it because I didn't understand the ins and outs of family accounting. That was a lie. I didn't like how she twisted things I said and wanted to steer clear of giving her any food for gossip.
Could I have been a threat?
I don't know. This is all too darn sordid.
I can't wait to be FREE!!
I'm grasping at straws. People inherently need to understand why bad things happen to them. I do. My mother-in-law acts like a typical woman with narcissistic personality disorder. The uncle who made the threatening gesture towards me exhibits it. His sister has a case of malignant narcissistic personality disorder. My ex was diagnosed with it. It explains the enmeshment. It explains the stalking. It explains how they thought they could dictate my educational status, my career, my hobbies, my role, my appearance, and my relationship with my friends and family.
They even expected me to go on a 2,500 calorie a day diet! I was a model subsisting on 500 calories a day during my formative years. At this point in time, anything over 1,200 makes me chunk out! They actually told me what they expected me to eat.
How controlling is that?
It doesn't explain the "why." Why did they target me? Why would they prefer to stalk me rather than simply talk to me? Why do they leave threatening phone messages? Why do they hang up when I answer the phone? Why put the gps box on the car? Why not simply ask for what they want and negotiate with me?
I'll never understand. Maybe, I do. They were told that they'd have to do family therapy with their son before I'd let them see the grand kids. A psychologist would have to sign off on the visits before I'd veto my ex. They refused because narcissistic people don't do therapy.
I feel sorry for my brother-in-law. He was the family scapegoat. Imagine being the only person in a house of wolves! That poor man.
Could this be about seeing the children in a bid to control me? Or in a bid to control my ex? Or a bid to control our kids?
Or would Doug threaten harming the grandchildren as a means to get something from my mother-in-law?
There is a reason I ask.
I don't know but right before my mother-in-law and her family started lying about me, my mother-in-law confided that her other son and his wife spoke about stealing her property out from under her when her husband died. I didn't believe her. I had an attorney on retainer and asked my ex to consider taking his mother to see him, so she could put together a will. That lawyer promised me one free will; I gave it to her.
My ex never even spoke to her about it. I told my mother-in-law to talk to her son about it because I didn't understand the ins and outs of family accounting. That was a lie. I didn't like how she twisted things I said and wanted to steer clear of giving her any food for gossip.
Could I have been a threat?
I don't know. This is all too darn sordid.
I can't wait to be FREE!!
I'm grasping at straws. People inherently need to understand why bad things happen to them. I do. My mother-in-law acts like a typical woman with narcissistic personality disorder. The uncle who made the threatening gesture towards me exhibits it. His sister has a case of malignant narcissistic personality disorder. My ex was diagnosed with it. It explains the enmeshment. It explains the stalking. It explains how they thought they could dictate my educational status, my career, my hobbies, my role, my appearance, and my relationship with my friends and family.
They even expected me to go on a 2,500 calorie a day diet! I was a model subsisting on 500 calories a day during my formative years. At this point in time, anything over 1,200 makes me chunk out! They actually told me what they expected me to eat.
How controlling is that?
It doesn't explain the "why." Why did they target me? Why would they prefer to stalk me rather than simply talk to me? Why do they leave threatening phone messages? Why do they hang up when I answer the phone? Why put the gps box on the car? Why not simply ask for what they want and negotiate with me?
I'll never understand. Maybe, I do. They were told that they'd have to do family therapy with their son before I'd let them see the grand kids. A psychologist would have to sign off on the visits before I'd veto my ex. They refused because narcissistic people don't do therapy.
I feel sorry for my brother-in-law. He was the family scapegoat. Imagine being the only person in a house of wolves! That poor man.
Could this be about seeing the children in a bid to control me? Or in a bid to control my ex? Or a bid to control our kids?
Or would Doug threaten harming the grandchildren as a means to get something from my mother-in-law?
There is a reason I ask.
Shortly before I was stalked at work in 2011, there were chronic phone calls to the house filled with demands to see the kids. My father-in-law started driving by the house around the time that school let out. He lived an hour away!
I have no clue what is going on.
My ex could just be trying to mess with my mind and keep me confused.
I'm going to try to wash my hands of it.
My ex could just be trying to mess with my mind and keep me confused.
I'm going to try to wash my hands of it.
Just in case, a little documentation won't hurt.
I have a feeling this is going to get worse before it gets better.
I should document who is calling and ignoring my pleas that they stop.
It should stop soon. I had a person from the county ask to see my college transcripts and they emailed the name of an employer looking to hire someone with my background. Things are looking up.
Maybe I can get this signed off in the next month.
My old friend, Tom, told me that divorce is as simple as getting the other person to sign some papers. Then he conceded that getting those signatures could be difficult. Tom always had a way of making complicated things seem simple. His advice has never failed me. I don't know why I never take his advice first. I should know better.
My ex is even doing the paperwork for me. I'll look it over...but wow...I'm in shock.
I think I've found a way to pay for my ex's gastric bypass surgery but it would require that I be off of the insurance. I legally separate and I'm off the insurance.
There is the carrot.
I am laughing now. I remember an exchange in 2000, shortly after I became pregnant with our third child. I was told to give up custody of the kids and divorce my spouse so that he could move back home with his mother so they could be a family again.
Then they demanded use of my retail sales tax license to buy wholesale diamond jewellery tax free. I declined. There was certainly hell to pay for that. Someone would have had to pay the use tax. I couldn't afford it at the time.
Narcissists suck!
Love ya,
S.
Edit 2:19 p.m. -
Hi Shannon!! Hi Doug!! Hi Patricia!!
Well, this is interesting.
I see one of you have visited the blog. A few minutes later, I got an interesting telephone call.
Guess what?
When someone endures stalking, they learn neat little tricks. One of these tricks is to Google the name and address of every silent call that comes in. Usually, they are 'unknown name' calls and I can't do that.
Someone is getting sloppy. I can see the telephone numbers now.
Lately, I've gotten quite a few silent calls from numbers that correlate with addresses that are within two blocks of my mother-in-law's home. Why would that be?
I just got one from Gena G. on Coronado Parkway.
What to do?
What should I do?
I wonder if Shannon or Doug are renting an apartment at that address. Google shows it to be an apartment.
Fortunately, there are remedies.
We could turn the phone off for another year and track the incoming numbers. Do you remember that little stint between 2011 and 2013 where no one would answer the phone?
That's what happened.
I could switch our numbers and go to mobile phones. You'd never find us.
All the important people know our cell phone numbers.
Let's see....if this is about visitation, there are two things I can do.
I can stay legally married until Patricia dies. The problem with that is that your son will have to support me. You don't want that, do you? This year, the legislature got rid of the law that made infidelity a crime. It is now inadmissible in court proceedings. So, he can move on. I can move on. An abusive grandmother can't use her meddling to further her agenda.
It won't matter if any of you stalk me to run me off. My ex and I can simply run into the arms of other people and you still won't be able to sue for grandparent visitation because the legal marriage will be in effect!
It's not like me...but it can be done.
The other option is to get an ex-parte TRO against all of you. I don't even have to serve you. I just go to court, tell them I'm terrified of you, play a couple of answering machine messages, and get a temporary restraining order that will expire in a given number of days (typically 120). I have often talked my ex out of doing that. Maybe I'll urge him to do this. It would look five times worse for him to do it.
At that point, Patricia will not be able to petition the court for grandparent visitation for a span of at least two years. Any restraining order courts, even a TRO.
The no contact letter means that Patricia and her son will have to seek family counselling before a judge will order visitation. It creates a history of strained relations. We made sure to offer the counselling option in the letter. Patricia never took us up on it. The courts won't take that lightly.
The phone call log and abusive messages will show that Patricia is uncooperative.
I can play.
I'd rather not.
It's hard enough dealing with my ex following me around. I don't want to deal with his extended family stalking me. YIKES!
Oh, and Doug said I was Satan. Other in-laws have claimed me to be a witch. So, I guess, you believe that I can always send a demon after you?
What's your pleasure?
Blue or red?
A blue one will convert you to Islam and punish you when you sin.
The red ones are the ones that will tempt you and punish you when you sin.
What's your favorite color?
I'll let your imagination do the rest.
Of course, I'm partial to wraiths. You know, legend has it that when witches die, they become wraiths in the after world in order to protect witches in this dimension. They like vengeance. If I'm a witch, I don't plan on coming back as a guardian angel.
Man, I love superstitious people!
Seriously, though, there is a third option to keep them away. I'll keep that one to myself.
Actually, there are four.
Patricia must really want to never see the grandkids.
My grandmother had a saying; you get more flies with honey than vinegar.
The stalking and phone harassment really is NOT helping anyone establish a relationship. It is scaring the heck out of me. The police have been involved since 1998! You will get caught.
You've changed me.
I had to get a rifle and take shooting classes.
I've met the requirements for a CCW and a friend has offered me a Glock.
I hate guns.
The stalking has changed me.
Leave me alone.
You won't like the new me.
Hmmm.....
You know, the moment my ex files the paperwork, there will be a no contact order in effect. I don't have to do a damn thing. Divorce in this state automatically comes with an order not to use third parties to contact or harass the former spouse. So, this is your warning. Do not call me. Do not harass me. Do not harass me at work and cost me yet another job. Do not harass anyone I know or you will go to jail and your son will stand to lose a lot in the divorce. He won't be able to help you in your old age if he's toiling in two jobs to pay me alimony.
If you guys want to say anything to me....get a lawyer.
You superstitious souls may want a good exorcist, too.
Love ya,
S.
Edit: 6/1/13
I've had two days without phone calls. Thank you!!!
Maybe you are doing it to see the grandkids. I have a mediator who offered to help you for free. He's a good man.
If you keep this up, I'm going to ask your son to switch the number to a VOIP phone so he can take it with him after we sell the house and split the money. The number would go wherever he goes.
If you harass me again, I'll let him turn off the phones.
Thank you.
Love,
S.
It should stop soon. I had a person from the county ask to see my college transcripts and they emailed the name of an employer looking to hire someone with my background. Things are looking up.
Maybe I can get this signed off in the next month.
My old friend, Tom, told me that divorce is as simple as getting the other person to sign some papers. Then he conceded that getting those signatures could be difficult. Tom always had a way of making complicated things seem simple. His advice has never failed me. I don't know why I never take his advice first. I should know better.
My ex is even doing the paperwork for me. I'll look it over...but wow...I'm in shock.
I think I've found a way to pay for my ex's gastric bypass surgery but it would require that I be off of the insurance. I legally separate and I'm off the insurance.
There is the carrot.
I am laughing now. I remember an exchange in 2000, shortly after I became pregnant with our third child. I was told to give up custody of the kids and divorce my spouse so that he could move back home with his mother so they could be a family again.
Then they demanded use of my retail sales tax license to buy wholesale diamond jewellery tax free. I declined. There was certainly hell to pay for that. Someone would have had to pay the use tax. I couldn't afford it at the time.
Narcissists suck!
Love ya,
S.
Edit 2:19 p.m. -
Hi Shannon!! Hi Doug!! Hi Patricia!!
Well, this is interesting.
I see one of you have visited the blog. A few minutes later, I got an interesting telephone call.
Guess what?
When someone endures stalking, they learn neat little tricks. One of these tricks is to Google the name and address of every silent call that comes in. Usually, they are 'unknown name' calls and I can't do that.
Someone is getting sloppy. I can see the telephone numbers now.
Lately, I've gotten quite a few silent calls from numbers that correlate with addresses that are within two blocks of my mother-in-law's home. Why would that be?
I just got one from Gena G. on Coronado Parkway.
What to do?
What should I do?
I wonder if Shannon or Doug are renting an apartment at that address. Google shows it to be an apartment.
Fortunately, there are remedies.
We could turn the phone off for another year and track the incoming numbers. Do you remember that little stint between 2011 and 2013 where no one would answer the phone?
That's what happened.
I could switch our numbers and go to mobile phones. You'd never find us.
All the important people know our cell phone numbers.
Let's see....if this is about visitation, there are two things I can do.
I can stay legally married until Patricia dies. The problem with that is that your son will have to support me. You don't want that, do you? This year, the legislature got rid of the law that made infidelity a crime. It is now inadmissible in court proceedings. So, he can move on. I can move on. An abusive grandmother can't use her meddling to further her agenda.
It won't matter if any of you stalk me to run me off. My ex and I can simply run into the arms of other people and you still won't be able to sue for grandparent visitation because the legal marriage will be in effect!
It's not like me...but it can be done.
The other option is to get an ex-parte TRO against all of you. I don't even have to serve you. I just go to court, tell them I'm terrified of you, play a couple of answering machine messages, and get a temporary restraining order that will expire in a given number of days (typically 120). I have often talked my ex out of doing that. Maybe I'll urge him to do this. It would look five times worse for him to do it.
At that point, Patricia will not be able to petition the court for grandparent visitation for a span of at least two years. Any restraining order courts, even a TRO.
The no contact letter means that Patricia and her son will have to seek family counselling before a judge will order visitation. It creates a history of strained relations. We made sure to offer the counselling option in the letter. Patricia never took us up on it. The courts won't take that lightly.
The phone call log and abusive messages will show that Patricia is uncooperative.
I can play.
I'd rather not.
It's hard enough dealing with my ex following me around. I don't want to deal with his extended family stalking me. YIKES!
Oh, and Doug said I was Satan. Other in-laws have claimed me to be a witch. So, I guess, you believe that I can always send a demon after you?
What's your pleasure?
Blue or red?
A blue one will convert you to Islam and punish you when you sin.
The red ones are the ones that will tempt you and punish you when you sin.
What's your favorite color?
I'll let your imagination do the rest.
Of course, I'm partial to wraiths. You know, legend has it that when witches die, they become wraiths in the after world in order to protect witches in this dimension. They like vengeance. If I'm a witch, I don't plan on coming back as a guardian angel.
Man, I love superstitious people!
Seriously, though, there is a third option to keep them away. I'll keep that one to myself.
Actually, there are four.
Patricia must really want to never see the grandkids.
My grandmother had a saying; you get more flies with honey than vinegar.
The stalking and phone harassment really is NOT helping anyone establish a relationship. It is scaring the heck out of me. The police have been involved since 1998! You will get caught.
You've changed me.
I had to get a rifle and take shooting classes.
I've met the requirements for a CCW and a friend has offered me a Glock.
I hate guns.
The stalking has changed me.
Leave me alone.
You won't like the new me.
Hmmm.....
You know, the moment my ex files the paperwork, there will be a no contact order in effect. I don't have to do a damn thing. Divorce in this state automatically comes with an order not to use third parties to contact or harass the former spouse. So, this is your warning. Do not call me. Do not harass me. Do not harass me at work and cost me yet another job. Do not harass anyone I know or you will go to jail and your son will stand to lose a lot in the divorce. He won't be able to help you in your old age if he's toiling in two jobs to pay me alimony.
If you guys want to say anything to me....get a lawyer.
You superstitious souls may want a good exorcist, too.
Love ya,
S.
Edit: 6/1/13
I've had two days without phone calls. Thank you!!!
Maybe you are doing it to see the grandkids. I have a mediator who offered to help you for free. He's a good man.
If you keep this up, I'm going to ask your son to switch the number to a VOIP phone so he can take it with him after we sell the house and split the money. The number would go wherever he goes.
If you harass me again, I'll let him turn off the phones.
Thank you.
Love,
S.