Skip to main content

Wake Up Calls

Today I am thankful for wake-up calls.
 
 
It looks like my ex and I are close to a settlement.  He wants to divide the assets now and then go through the divorce process. 
 
 
I didn't agree with him because I figured it would be less of a tax liability to do it when things were finalized.  I don't know.  I'm trying to find a good paying job, one that will limit his pay-out. 
 
 
Things aren't going well. 

I don't want to say exactly how I know this but I caught my ex in a lie about the stalking.  He IS the stalker and his sister is playing along.  When I confronted him, he walked off and began talking about the divorce. 

It has to happen.  There is no other way!

The past couple of years have been hard.  When I recognized that I had feelings for someone else and that my heart wasn't dead, it literally hurt me. 

When he told me that he had feelings for me, the pain tripled.  At this point, I recognized that I was hurting him with my inaction. 
 
I stay here. 
 
 
I avoid my friend. 
 
 
I think my friend had a bad day today.  I can feel it.  It's horrible.  I just want to hug him. 
 
 
I can't. 
 
 
I can't because I stay here trying to do the right thing. 
 
Maybe doing the right thing
 
is the wrong thing. 
 
I guess I can survive on half the savings until I find a job.  Maybe I'll push this thing a little harder. 
 
Never ignore your heart.  It only leads to trouble. 

Love is rare. It's a gift that shouldn't be wasted. 

I'm an idiot.   
 
Love ya,
 
S.   
 
 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

My Competition

Only our best friends and greatest teachers will have the courage to say those uncomfortable things to help us get out of the mud and back on our paths.   Today I am thankful for my competition. I love being a hypnotist because I have the most wonderful colleagues in the world. I bought a refresher Stop Smoking Hypnosis Course from another hypnotist trainer.  I bought it because I'm too lazy to create my own business forms.  It comes with the forms.  Usually, I can't read anything this man writes without learning something new.  I figured that I couldn't go wrong investing in his products.  I received the package yesterday.  It was supposed to contain four CDs. I received five.  Do you want to guess what the fifth one was?  It was a hypnosis session entitled "Overcome Your Lost Love." I'm a little bit tickled at that discovery. This is perfect!!! I love this guy's voice.   This is the mo...
Read more

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

 Today I am thankful for a laugh.  It didn't start out funny.  My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer.   My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent.  I pointed at the shed.  "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked.  "Yes.", she replied.  "That happens all the time!"   She advised me to chain the door.  I've done that.  The thief just tears the roof off.  It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants.  Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess.  My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me.  I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years.  Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...
Read more