10:30am Today I am thankful for vertigo and inspiration. This morning, I awoke with vertigo. I tend to get vertigo when I'm fighting two conflicting thoughts within myself. The first time I had that experience was August 19, 2008. I was physically embraced as I stood near the train tracks in my hometown by a spirit from the distant past who smelled like valerian. He said I "was still pretty." At that moment, I felt love and energy emanate from him. The conflict went round and round in my brain. I still love him. This is wrong. I still care. This is wrong. Wow...I'm not a cold prude. Oh, hell NO. This IS wrong. Love doesn't die even when it's wrong. Oh, shit! At least he's still alive and his leg isn't broken. This isn't what I signed up for. It is wrong! It went over and over in my mind until I made myself dizzy and could barely stand. Thank goodness someone was holding me up. I don't know ho...