The Difficulty of Finding Civilized Language w/ Edit

Today I am appreciative of the difficulties of being civilized when trying to get your point across to an absolute moron. 

So...the DA for my county doesn't prosecute stalking unless it involves another crime.

This was the reason that the police department in the City of Aurora, Colorado refused to take police reports over the past several years.

He did a fair job prosecuting James Holmes..

The DA, Brauchler, wanted to be governor.

(With pressez) Ha.....ha.....ha....ha......ha..ha...ha...ha....ha...

I haven't laughed so freakin' hard in my life.

This idiot guy finally got it in his thick skull realized that he would never win the role of Governor so now he aspires to pretend to uphold and honor the Constitution as Colorado's Attorney General.

(Rallentando)....Ha....ha......ha.........ha......ha............HA.....(with a growl).....HA

The man's a freakin' traitor.

He, along with another fake conservative, just proposed a bill to enable the police or a judge to confiscate guns should a neighbor, family member or police officer file a complaint against a person.

As someone who has been stalked off and on since 1992,

and as someone who has lost jobs, apartments and educational opportunities due to false reports from my ex-husband's family....

I know this is a problem in the making.

It's just an opportunity for a stalker to cause his victim to lose her modes of protection should he desire to break into her home again.

I know George Braucher doesn't give a rat's ass in hell about what anyone thinks.  I've told his office what Aurora said to me when I could prove who was hacking into my computers and who was breaking into my house.

The Arapahoe County DA doesn't prosecute stalking unless the victim endures numerous other crimes.  It has to be a slam dunk case. 

My ex used to recruit his friends and family to do his dirty work.  He even had a friend who murdered his 18 month old daughter harass me when I volunteered for the Arapahoe County DA.

I told the DA what I knew about the murder and relinquished my position.  The criminal wanted to use me as an excuse to get out of other criminal charges he faced for violence against his family.

The DA, quite simply, doesn't prosecute stalking on its own.  It prosecutes other crimes.

For this reason, the City of Aurora doesn't take stalking police reports.

I had to save over $10,000 to evict my ex-husband from my home.

I had to learn how to shoot to keep his family at bay.  I gave up jobs I loved.  I left graduate school before getting the degree I needed.

I could NEVER get a permanent restraining order without a police report.

The Arapahoe County DA's office doesn't believe what the city police told me.

George Braucher's election committee disagrees with what I say.  They point out that he does prosecute stalking (when it is a slam dunk case that involves other crimes).

I don't know what to think.

I do know this.....

a traitor is a traitor.

I will keep my promise and warn Braucher that he may as well jump out of his campaign and quit before he gets run out of town.

He'll ignore me.

He has no idea who I am.

He never will.

I am no one.

I am but one person....

I espouse one thought in the collective that is shared by millions of citizens.

Yeah, the majority is silent.  That doesn't mean they'll agree.

I don't know whose ass behind Brauchler's kissing, but it won't net him what he wants.

Sigh....

Let me try to find a way to communicate without sounding like a bitter old woman whose life has been ruined by lazy government officials.

I don't even know if that is possible.  I wasted four years of my life hiding from my ex.  My career is in shambles.

I couldn't get help.

The tables turned when my friends paid my tuition towards a concealed carry class.  

I learned not to dare collect child support.  If I do that, the stalking will pick right back up.

I will live in poverty for the rest of my life.

That's okay.

At least I'm breathing.

******

Do you want to know something funny?

A liberal activist is trying to recruit me to dig up dirt on a Republican.

I've refused so far.

Seriously.....it's dumb.  Before I read the story about Brauchler, I couldn't understand why anyone would want to do that.

I guess people do that when they are angry and are being ignored.

Digging up dirt is stupid.  Seriously....I know people who plant asinine stories about themselves just to see who is dumb enough to make a fool of themselves by repeating them.

Hearing the stories repeated can be a good gauge as to whether or not a stalker is back on the trail.  When someone runs around calling me a demon conjurer, I know my ex is back at it.

I know to lay low.

There is no need to dig up dirt on anyone. Typically idiotic politicians wind up betraying themselves with their own stupidity.  They reveal it over time.

George Brauchler and his homie, Carl Wist, are revealing themselves now.

The Republican party needs to rein in their rinos.

Perhaps I CAN can play a little game just to get my mind off of the potential danger these idiots politicians are putting my children and I in.

We are but one family trying to stay safe.  There are millions more like us in the country.

My advice to the Republican party is to put a muzzle on your less than intelligent pets and strap a crap/tail bag behind their dumb asses before you step in something you don't want to be involved in.

You won't be able to separate yourselves from the stench very easily.

It will follow you.

******

Truth be told, I am no one special.

I just know people......I know how to spread ideas.

I know who to petition to put a stop to this crap.

I know just what to say to most people.

I just don't know how to say it to asshats  politicians who are full of themselves.

They won't listen until they lose.

They may not even listen then.  He may run around 'ala Clinton and pretend to be a victim.

*******

I'm not too worried about my safety.  I'm pretty crafty.  I will just have to start carrying other types of weapons.

I guess I need to put pink baseball bats near all the entrances to my home and one in my car.

I'll start bracing the doors with my older acoustic guitars.  That helped back in the day when I could hear them move.  I think it prevented a break-in or two.

When people broke into my home, I think the noise scared the intruder, they stopped at property damage.

Locks were broken but at least the kids and I were safe.

If they do get into the house, we are allegedly Pagan. 

Our household Gods are said to be Apollo and Artemis.

Archery is a religious rite.

To tell the truth, my young Pagans are darn good with crossbows.

I'll just go out and buy three more sets on credit.

It's a shame that the city forbids us from owning pit bulls.

Love ya,

S.

Edit: I'm told HB 1436 will go to the kill committee.  It doesn't matter.  The whole debacle shows Brauchler's inability to understand the hardships that some segments of society (e.g. abused women) endure.

He doesn't prosecute stalking to the point that police officers use him as an excuse to refuse to take police reports.

Now, George Brauchler wants to allow stalkerish exes to petition to take guns away from their victims, rendering them helpless.

I can only imagine how much more property damage I get to endure now.

Thanks George!

If one is being stalked and they reach out for help, they will get a mental health diagnosis (e.g. anxiety).  Insurance companies will not pay for therapy unless a diagnosis is given.

I'd hate to have therapy put them in danger.  It will under this bill.

Stalkers typically refuse mental help.  They go undiagnosed.  I remember my ex quitting therapy because the therapist told him "she doesn't have to put up with your family following her."

Yeah....narcissists need yes men.  A good therapist calls people on their bull.

My ex's sister was a security guard.  She had a gun.  She was known to brandish it at my poor neighbor.

The cops didn't do a darn thing about it.  She was friends with the sergeant.  Eventually, Denver fired him for tampering with evidence.

Enough....

This bill will come back with a vengeance....mark my words.

EDIT: So, the bill text allows one's former dating partners to file for restraining orders in order to remove guns.

Man.....I had a guy threaten to get a restraining order against me because I wouldn't return his calls or answer his texts.  I actually had to contact the Jefferson County Sheriff about his harassment - the Sheriff promised to have a talk with the abuser should he try to get a restraining order.

I wound up just changing my phone numbers.

Brauchler knows that this law will be abused.  He said so himself but agreed to it because he thinks it might just save ONE person.

It will kill many more.

I wish he understood domestic violence and stalking.  If he did, he'd know that abusers pretend to be the victims.  Victims just want to be survivors.

An abuser pretending to be a victim can get away with a heck of a lot; he can get away with stalking and hitting, he can waltz out of contempt hearings, and he can also get the State of Colorado to absolve him of child support while furnishing his lawyers.....

An abuser can get away with a lot of crap.

I guess....I guess...I need to start my prayers and petitions.

I've spent a day in tears because I know what will happen should this nonsensical bill pass.  It'll be another form of harassment.

Sigh....

I'd move to Wyoming but I know my ex will complain to the court.

I'm stuck in Colorado.....well....I'm stuck in Cali-rado.

Perhaps, it is time to make some noise.

Good luck, bozos.

And, by the way, the person asking me to dig up dirt is close to an a-hole on the House Judiciary Committee who voted for this monstrosity today.  He wanted me to dig up dirt to force a lawmaker to vote his way.

Fortunately, I don't play like that.  

I'm wondering if that is how the Democrats got Braucher and Wist to play ball.

Perhaps they have dirt?

Sigh.....

May your bad deeds be exposed without intervention.

Love ya,

S.

NEXT DAY EDIT: Brauchler did call me back.  He feels that I misunderstand his bill.  I wanted to share the telephone call in an attempt to be fair.   I did not call him again because I still cannot find civilized language to express my displeasure with the potential of abuse for this unconstitutional bill.

I don't misunderstand the bill.  I think our DA misunderstands disordered people and the lengths they'll go to in order to control their victims.

Maybe some day I'll share why I hate guns.  I'll briefly tell you about the time I had to take a loaded revolver away from my suicidal step-father at the age of ten.  I walked that sucker to the fire department three blocks away (because we didn't have a phone).  Do you what I got for my trouble?

I was reprimanded by a cop.

You know what?  No one died.  I could clean guns at the age of ten.  They didn't scare me as much as drunk a-holes playing Russian Roulette. That game would kill him just eight years later.

Sigh.....

I wouldn't take the right of my mother to protect herself away.  My step-dad beat her to death in a drunken rage four years after I turned the gun over to the firemen in Sheridan.  

Mom didn't have a gun to protect herself.

The cops did not get there in time.

My mother's rights to survival trumped my suicidal step-fathers games.

Think hard before you pass laws.

S.

In the Midst of a Panic Attack

I can totally relate to the message at 1:27-1:34.  As a child, I discovered that bass playing has always helped for some stupid reason. 

I'm thankful for the ability to cope very well during a panic attack. 

I started to have a panic around 3:30 this morning.  It's nearly noon and it's ongoing.

It's like an old friend that I can barely tolerate coming to visit unexpectedly.  This friend I haven't seen for about a year and half!

I can't figure out what the trigger was.

When this friend visits, I feel full of adrenaline.  I swear my head feels like helicopter blades swirling 'round and 'round.  I hear a swirling rhythmic sound in my ears.

This leads to massive headaches.

In the past it led to vertigo but now I can control it the point I just feel lightheaded for a few minutes.

My mouth gets dry and burns.  My face goes numb.

I can still cope.  I've gotten to the point of being able to control my energy and ground myself fairly quickly.

I've been able to work in these circumstances before.

I'm here typing this.

*****

At the time of the panic attack, it will seem that there is no trigger.

In the past, I'd quickly find that these events were triggered by property damage; a door jam that was broken, a busted window, a broken lock and that type of thing.

My working theory is that my subconscious picks up and registers property damage (even if my conscious mind doesn't).  This is what leads to the panic attack.

It looks like I'll have to inspect my property this afternoon once things settle down. 

*****

I had a little bit of a nightmare.  It was a bizarre dream but it didn't make much sense.

I swear I dreamt that I was having a panic attack.

In the dream, I was riding a bus behind a lost elderly couple trying to go to my office building to see another business.  We were riding the bus along and  I promised to show them how to get to the building. 

They spoke of their long term marriage as it was their anniversary.  They had even brought along a picnic lunch with a cake.  The wife had put a lot of care into the cake.

When the bus stopped at a light, a group of hoodlums stole their carefully packed lunch.  One of the bullies took the cake and gleefully smeared it all over his face.

I asked the couple to leave with me.  We'd call a cab and go to the office together since my office was at the same building.

As we got off of the bus, I uttered an impromtu Latin curse at the group, promising them a swift end to their antics.

They laughed, excited that they won the battle.

The bus took off as we watched the driver careen out of control finally going off of an embankment.  We called the authorities and called a cab.  The elderly man and his wife went over to help the brats that stole their food get out of the wrecked bus.

I awoke......with the beginnings of a panic attack.

I've never had one start with a dream before.

*****
I think the dream is about the socialist idiots that protested the Colorado capital yesterday dressed in red, wearing t-shirts wearing the fist of numerous Communist campaigns.  These people don't believe that a $600 billion education budget is enough.  They're trying to impose a new income tax on high income earners to the tune of $1.6 billion to fund the state's teacher retirement plan.

Yes, lawmakers earmarked an additional $35 million towards school safety.  This is something few teachers knew.  Strange...huh?

They're lying through their teeth.  I had a teacher tell me that, yeah, she made $52,000 a year but she didn't think it counts as salary because she gives so much towards her retirement.

She thinks that the salary number that should count is the net amount, not the gross amount!

Um.....no.

How can educators be so  out of touch with reality?

Some of them seem to be bad at civics and math.

Now, there is a push to make them exempt from all property and income taxes.

That is a day, I'd love to see.  It's not going to happen.

The average student gets $13,000 per year in education funding in the state of Colorado.  That's over a quarter of a million dollars per 20 students.

The money isn't making it into the classroom.  I blame the school boards for mismanaging the money.

My buddy on the school board won't give me eye contact.  He knows doesn't he? He knows where the problem lies.

That's okay.  I'm sure there will be an audit some day, especially if the Communist cries continue long enough.

The teachers are trying to steal from other groups who depend on government help, people who do not have a union, people in true need.

They are going to crash the bus.

****

I thought about joining the city's elder commission.  I was raised by my grandparents before they became sick and I was sent to foster care.  I've volunteered for AARP (an insurance company) and helped people with Medicare for many years.  My first interest was in social work before I realized that too many social workers don't understand psychology - so they don't truly understand how victimization and elder abuse can cause changes in the behavior of their clients - sad, huh?

The commissions won't allow me to join because.....I'm not a statist.  I tried applying once and had a guy chase me down at a party wanting to know what I did to piss off the former mayor of Aurora.  He was told to vote to reject my application because someone on the city council was mad at me.

Do you know what I did to piss him off?  I told the truth.  I wrote them letters and when the responses were obnoxious, I posted everything in a blog for the entire city to see.

That upset the City Attorney to the point that an outside law firm politely asked me to take it down.

Ha!

It is illegal for a government employer to dock someone's pay as a punishment for saying something their boss doesn't like.

There are few things I cannot tolerate:

1.) Liars
2.) Thieves
3.) Lawmakers who knowingly violate the law: Come on, if you make law you ought to set a good example for the people that YOU expect to follow it.

They can fill their committees and boards with yes men.

That's okay.

There is a silent but stewing majority in the shadows.  If pushed enough, they won't be silent any more.

Love ya,

S.

Edit one month later:  After years of this nonsense, I am beginning to think I was misdiagnosed with PTSD due to the "panic attacks" that make me struggle to breath, make my heart beat out of my chest and cause me to feel dizzy.

I had a few of these, once after eating something with msg in it.  I had another when I smelled pot at a concert.  The third one was when I left the window of my bedroom open.  I am allergic to msg, pot, grass and the tree in the front yard.

When I take Allegra, the panic attack goes away.  I can breath.  My head stops spinning.  My heart no longer beats hard in my chest.

I'm realizing that I will need to get my butt to an allergist the moment I can afford real health insurance.  I may need to see a Behavioral Medicine Specialist as opposed to a trauma shrink, too.

Wow......

This is an amazing lesson.  Second opinions are worth their weight in gold!

The Idiotic Colorado Teacher's Union - EDIT: Wow...They're Dumber than I Thought

Today I am thankful for the teachers who, quite publicly, called me an "idiot" and a "moron" for positing that the United States is a Constitutional Republic*. 

Sigh....

Their lack of decorum makes me wonder how they talk to kids that don't understand their lessons.

If this is how they talk to the kids, they don't deserve another $1.6 billion tax hike.

I'm not the only one.  It seems as though self-described teachers like to call voters who don't cow down to the union line "morons."

One would think educated people would have a more professional vocabulary.  I saw that word quite a bit today.

The teachers and their unions don't understand, do they?

The teachers claim to be striking for higher pay.  Neither the voters nor the lawmakers get to decide teacher pay....that's between the unions and the school districts.

Striking during the school week, with little notice in my district, well.....that puts them at odds with their biggest supporters.....parents.

Um....I'd say I have something to fight but, in my heart of hearts, I know that any shot of passing that huge $1.6 billion income tax hike for PERA will perish with the walk-out.

It's called Initiative 86.

https://www.sos.state.co.us/pubs/elections/Initiatives/titleBoard/results/2017-2018/86Results.html

Sigh.....

I think the catchiest slogan to fight this obnoxious tax hike could be:

86 Initiative 86! 

I'll still let my buddies know I'm itching for a fight if they need someone. 

I LOVE fighting tax hikes.

Guess who usually comes up with the campaign slogans?

If anyone wants to steal this one, be my guest.  I have several more.

*****

In 2000, Coloradoans passed Amendment 23, which guaranteed increased funding to public schools every year.

These increases are ongoing. Maybe I'll update the post with figures when I have more time.

Voters were promised that if we passed it, we wouldn't hear any more crying about teacher's wages or public school funding.

Now, the teachers are striking (even after getting an additional $150 million for next year).

The average public school teacher makes $52,000 per year.

Here are some links for your reading pleasure:

http://time.com/money/4900091/teachers-average-salary-underpaid-poll/

This article is from 2011 - teachers are making more now:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/warrenmeyer/2011/12/22/the-teacher-salary-myth-are-teachers-underpaid/#5f2eb7023137

I just want to put this out into the collective unconscious: IF the union wants to win this gigantic income tax hike, they ought to try building rapport with the voters.

Letting your stooges gang up on anyone is fairly stupid, especially a parent. 

I'd like to ask the Colorado Education Association, how much do you spend per vote? Is it worth acting like a bunch of lunatics to get what you want?

Why aren't your arguments rational?  Why is everything based in emotion?

It is annoying.

Ganging up on anyone who disagrees is silly. 

You taught me to stop trying to help teachers (right now, I am in the process of putting together an Amazon order for a teacher with cancer.....maybe I shouldn't help any teacher with supplies any more).  It would seem that nothing a parent does is appreciated.

They want to hijack the taxpayers.  I don't think they appreciate the efforts of parents.

Perhaps it's not worth my time trying any more.

Come on.....the idea that people with master's degrees should make more than $50,000 a year is laughable.  It doesn't always happen that way.  If we work in human services, the pay is often less because our clientele cannot afford to pay.

At least teachers get benefits.

Striking is fairly stupid, especially after public schools let kids ditch class to rally for gun control.  I think parents have been rallied out.  

It's frustrating that there is a leftist stance to the lessons.

I mean teachers push that guns are evil.  Heaven help your kid if he or she bites a pop tart into a shape that even remotely resembles a gun.

When you point that out, you get hordes of teachers calling you a liar, at least I did.  Either the teachers don't read the news or they are in denial.  Either way, my mind about that stupid tax hike for PERA was made up today.

I don't want to support a bunch of rude people who are unable to look at their behavior in a rational manner.  They do push a leftist agenda, even if they are in denial about it.

The unions give way too much money to Democrats.

There IS a leftist agenda.  That is probably why they teach that the United States is a democracy.

It is a Constitutional Republic.

That is what truly irritates me.  Teachers don't know our own history!

They are teaming up with the Democrats to push a liberal agenda.   They are using kids to try to usher in an era of gun control that smacks at the heart of the second amendment.

Kids are easy to manipulate.  They have never truly tasted freedom.  I don't think they know what it means to strip away a Constitutional right.  It's meaningless if you don't know what you're missing when it's gone.

Perhaps that is why the leftists use children to push an agenda.

Whatever.....

Go ahead.....

upset your biggest supporters....the parents

and irritate the voters.

Go ahead.....push your luck.

I promise I won't tell you that I told you so, when 86 is 86ed.

You are losing votes.

Only someone trying to give you a sporting chance will be honest enough to give you a nice warning.

If you're going to harass people for telling the truth, you may as well give up.

We really need to push for private school funding.  If a group of teachers are calling someone like me a moron for pointing out that the United States is not a democracy, public schools have failed everyone.

I hate over regulation -but- I am literally surprised that the government doesn't force school districts to teach that the United States is a Constitutional Republic.

Utah did that.  Isn't it sad?

https://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/constitution/item/7924-utah-to-require-teaching-that-us-is-a-republic-not-a-democracy

Wow.....no wonder kids don't understand civics.  I was asked to become a teacher when I had to stop a speech to educate a guy handing out pocket constitutions as to why we have birthright citizenship in the United States.

Sigh....

Apparently, he didn't know that we had to pass the fourteenth amendment to guarantee that all of the former slaves born in the United States would be citizens.

I don't like the government so....I don't think I'd be a good teacher.  

Still.....the emotional rhetoric is making it hard for teachers to be rational.  That will be the undoing of any tax hike they may want passed this year. 

If they want to be seen as professionals, they ought to act like professionals. 

Knock it off.  

Oh, and stop endangering children by taking them outside to protest.  An eleven year old died during a public school promoted anti-gun protest in Texas on Friday.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/22/us/texas-walkout-student-killed.html

Yeah....and they claim they don't have a liberal agenda.  

Any moron can see through the lies of the teacher's union.  

Love ya,

S.

* If you care, a democracy can only be a temporary form of government.  Democracy, in it's essence is mob rule - it is a system where the majority makes ALL of the rules.

A constitutional republic will allow the majority to elect representatives who make the rules to the extent the Constitution allows.  Private rights are protected by the overarching Consititution of the federal government as well as the individual state constitutions.

Democracies can only exist to overthrow an existing form of government: Democracies typically lead to Oligarchies (e.g. Ancient Rome).

On that note, the behavior I witnessed from self-described teachers is puzzling.  They act as a mob.  I would say that, on the whole, the teachers in Colorado are acting like bullies.  I read more than twenty comments directed at me and only one tried to reason with me, five insulted me and the rest played the role of victims (e.g. such as 'how dare you say that about us?').

I'm wondering if this is why teachers are oblivious to bullying in their classrooms?

Bullying is typically behind the mass shootings.

Is the union responsible for this mindset?  Or is it because it is a government organization?

The reason I say that is that in years passed, I witnessed a heck of a lot of bullying directed at teachers by administrators.  I have pointed it out, time and time again.  Nothing is done.  Asshats retire but I can imagine that fresh abusers take their places.

The entire system is toxic.

I hate to say it but I am now more firmly rooted in the private school/home school camp.  Perhaps a little competition will raise teacher pay.

I guess I need to buy an insurance policy in case my stance will lead to property damage.  It's been known to happen.

It's frustrating.

There are only so many people I can try to convince that my house is protected by hellhounds.

Cheers!

NEXT DAY EDIT:  Wow.....The CEA is dumber than I thought!

So....someone has been calling me and hanging up.

I traced the number to Heritage High School (6703). 

The caller is a science teacher with a name similar to the guy who called me names on
Facebook.

I guess he wanted to continue being rude and showcase his stupidity.  

This causes me to question whether or not this guy is emotionally stable. 

He did help make up my mind for me. 

I haven't yet connected with my activist buddies to ask if I can help take on Initiative 86. 

I'm torn between calling Littleton Public Schools or just warning my friends about him. 

I think that the kindest thing I can do is block his number. 

If he leaves me a nasty message, I'd use it in a music production and post it to my Vimeo
account.  

If I block him, he can't endanger his career.  I can do that as an act of kindness.

On the other hand, if he calls me again, well....then I'll let my creative juices flow and come up with a video or musical production to showcase my musical talents.  It is temping....

Okay....I'll block him to spare him the temptation of harassing me again.

On the bright side, he is a science teacher so he may not know that the United States is a Constitutional Republic.  Even better, I think he'd be too educated to believe all the nonsense about me being a black magic sorceress who controls hellhounds and demons.  I'd tell anyone else that all I need is a photo of a man, his wife and three kids to put together one heck of a generational curse. 

He seems too educated to fall for that.

Here's a tip; if you don't block your number prior to engaging in hang-up calls, people can Google you and find out all sorts of nifty stuff you'd rather they not know.

So....I'll just say this......

Mr. J may want to do a little more digging on people before touching the telephone.

I could have a bit of fun with him. 

He must be fairly ballsy.

Few people call to harass a red-headed hypnotist!  Let alone someone who publicly talks about her love of guns and her disappointment in educators for trying to get them banned.  

I guess he hasn't seen my political activities.

I have to ask myself if he'd have dialed me should I have been a man.

Probably not.  He'd be luckier if he harassed a bloke.

I'm Irish-American and meaner any man I know.

He's not the first harasser.  He won't be the last.  Hopefully, for his sake, he won't get the same treatment that poor chap at the city got when he illegally walked into my home when I was in the shower - lol!

I'm sure he went blind from the sight.

I've been stalked by my ex's family since 1992.  I've got cameras everywhere.  I've got protection.  As a former wanna-be musician, I record everything. 

I like 9mms as they keep the stalker away. 

Bring it, buddy.

I'd love to make him famous.

Bullies are never heroes.

The great part about it is that truth is stranger than fiction.

I'll be kind this time. 

Mark Twain once said that redheads are descended from cats.

I'll give teacher guy one chance to go away before I pounce.

Maybe some day I'll write about what I studied in graduate school.  In short, I researched how mythology and fiction influence the personalities of children.

When I was child, my favorite story was about Puss In Boots settling scores with thieves.

Can you see a thread there?  If it doesn't explain my libertarian streak, I'm sure it explains my boot collection.

Life is a trip.  Make yours a journey worth taking.

Love ya,

S.

Questions of the Day

  

Today I am thankful for time to think. 

I've spent a lot of time asking myself what I should do? 

I received a phone call three days ago from a recruiter promising my ex a six figure job.

Should I tell my ex about the call?

I debated really hard about calling my ex and telling him.

In the end, I decided not to call my ex.

Calling him causes him to beg for money.

How do I know the telephone call wasn't initiated by my ex to hoover me into contact?

Uh.....I don't know.

Why is my ex putting my telephone number on his resume?

Creepy.....

There are more thoughts to ponder.....

Too much to think about.....

and few people that I trust.

Actually, I trust people too much, until they give me a reason not to trust them.

I don't trust the man who put his family up to stalking me.

*****

There are times when I wish that family court judges and lawmakers understood the games that controlling people play.

They treat children like commodities.

They make up excuses not to visit with the deluded belief that not visiting them means that they don't have to pay child support.  They treat child support as a fee for use.

That's not the case.

That is how many abusive people see it.

I have no clue whether or not Michael is telling the truth about being homeless, broke, alcoholic, drug addicted or if he really and truly believes that he can only make $12 an hour.

It's probably just a ruse to get out of supporting his kids and to try to get money out of me or try to get back into my house and take control of my life again.

Contacting him is an open invitation for the stalking to begin again.

I know that if he has to pay child support, he'll use the courts to stalk and harass me.  He'll run to the judge and claim alienation.  That's the trick every abusive parent has up their sleeves.

They don't realize that the kids hate being abused, they blame the other parent for ruining their reputation.

He'll pick the emotional abuse of the kids up where he left off.

Kids aren't stupid.

Judges allow it.  In fact, they allowed him to live here far too long after the divorce.  Judges, corrupt lawmakers and other bureaucrats are the reason I don't trust the government to help people.

I'm better off just letting this guy play his little game.

He's only hurting himself.

I don't understand how people can treat their children this way.

They do it....without remorse.

*****

Should I help homeless kids when I can barely afford my own?

The strangest thought I had today was that I am tired of cleaning up messes created by other people.

I am very tired of taking in children who were thrown away by their parents.

The kiddo coming here next week is the product of a divorce.  Her father doesn't help.  Her mother is married to another woman who abandoned them.  

The kiddo's mom is homeless.  She won't tell me where she's going**.

I can't imagine setting a 19 year old out on the street in this economy.

Maybe I'm being judgmental.  I work my patootie off to make sure my kiddos have a roof over their heads.

I'm about to give some private information to the local government for new gutters and a roof (which will probably be used to keep me quiet about their desire to hike taxes).

A woman has got to do what a woman has got to do.

My ex pretends to be an alcoholic so he doesn't have to pay child support.  He tells me, to this very day, he has never touched drop of alcohol.  I believe him.  His doctors told us alcohol would kill him.  He never failed a drug or alcohol screen when he worked for the trucking company.....but he sent a letter to my lawyer claiming to be in an alcohol rehab program for depression.

This is why he is off the hook for child support.  According to the State of Colorado, alcoholics are exempt from child support.  

I cant imagine why anyone would do so little for their children.

I probably don't think about parenthood like normal people.

This could be because my parents were idiots who drank themselves to death.  They didn't die from the alcohol, per se.  They died of the stupid crap people do when they drink.

Dad beat my mother to death on her 36th birthday.

Dad died playing Russian roulette with my baby sister two days after Christmas in 1987.  My sister was fourteen.  He barely missed her.

He's lucky the bullet found him before I got to him.

For many years, I thought I was scarred by my childhood.  I was secretly jealous of other people for having it so easy.

Maybe.....I'm better off than most people because I learned the value of hard work by watching my parents' lazy ways.

Maybe.....I'm better off than people who grew up taking things and money for granted.

I should probably feel sorry for people who don't value their children.

I should honor the lesson from my foster siblings. 

That lesson is that we create our own family.

We have an amazingly huge family and endless support.

I'm just adding to my extended family and returning the favors that people gave to me when I was younger.

I was lucky.

So many people helped me when I was a child.  People I've never thanked.  People who will never be forgotten.  Some of these people never gave me their names.

Maybe I'll check in on some of them.

Just as many people never gave up on me,

I cannot give up on the young people the Gods send to me.

Do you want to know something funny?

Each and every one of them are Pagan.

There has to be something spiritual at play.

Perhaps I have learned the lessons I need to learn so that I can be there for people who need me.

I don't know.

There is just so much to ponder.  I don't know how long it will take for me to understand what it is I'm supposed to do.

I'm sure things will make sense soon.

In the meantime, do as much good as you can as often as you can.

Love ya,

S.

Edit:  It dawned on me that some may want to know why I help 18-19 year old teens.  The reason is that there are no social programs for them.

Back when I was 'emancipated' (in quotes because I wasn't really emancipated, I just got tired of being abused as a kid so I "moved out" at the age of 17), foster kids did not get resources beyond their 18th birthday.

I couldn't even get into college as an in-state student because my parents were dead.  College after college refused to consider me an in-state student because my parents hadn't paid taxes in many years (yeah....that's what happens when people die...surprising, I know....).  It didn't matter than I worked and paid taxes since I was 16.  My tax dollars were meaningless.

It was nothing that marriage couldn't solve.  I married a man who was alive (shocker....I know) and thus paid taxes in the State of Colorado.  It took a year but I finally got my in-state tuition.

Back in the day, a teenager could rent an apartment for $200 a month.  At minimum wage, one could easily bring $200 home in a week.

Now, rents are around $1,300.00 a month for a small apartment.

That's more than most teenagers can bring home from a full time job in a month.  If they are forced from their homes, they usually don't have the money needed to rent an apartment or a room.

They often haven't even graduated from high school.  Sometimes, they just need a place to stay for a couple of months until they get into college, connect with a relative or enter a work study program.

A couple of months can make a big difference in the life of a young person.

I hope this makes sense.

I think the Gods bring LGBT youth to me because I owe the community

or maybe it is the ghost of one of the gay men who rescued me when I was an abused foster kid that sends them my way.

He was diagnosed with AIDS in 1987.

He used to tell me that when he died, he'd be a guardian angel for kids.  He also promised to be an angel on my shoulder warning me about jerks so I wouldn't date them.  He used to tell me that men could be the worst people to date.

He knew.

Sigh....I sure miss him.

Maybe he followed through with his promises.

I'd like to think that anyhow. 

I have a crumpled old photo of him from 1992 (the year we lost him).  I think I'll meditate to it tonight.

Love ya!

**Edit Three Days Later:  Well....it turns out that the kiddo's mom isn't homeless.  She's running off with a woman to a southern state and leaving her bewildered 19 year old behind.  She basically dropped the kid off with nothing.

I'd ask my wonderful, charitable Christian friends for a nice twin bed for the kiddo -but- she's trans.  I don't really want any ranting and raving in my house.  Christians tend to be kind but they can misunderstand social issues sometimes.

I'm scrambling to find money for a bedroom set.

They've cut my hours down to 20 a week - so money is a tad bit tight.

I know that a miracle will happen.

If I ever get rich, I think I'll start a Pagan ministry to help people in need too afraid to reach out to Christians.

I have no idea what to call it.....I'll worry about that if I win the lotto.

You know what, I don't buy tickets so -that's not gonna happen.

Love ya lots,

S.

Edit a few days later - so it turns out the kiddo wasn't being very honest.  The kiddo called my daughter and make a lot of demands, so many that I gave up trying to go to an activist rally in Boulder to deal with the fall-out.

I called to make sure her mother had a place to go.  It turns out that the mom has a house on the other side of the country.  Her daughter didn't want to go with her mother.  Mother is going back to be with her wife (happy ending.....the end of any marriage is sad....so....there is good news).

Her daughter wanted me to allow her to smoke pot in my home.  I can't do it.  (1) I'm deathly allergic to cannabis and hemp.  (2) I just signed a contract with the city promising to keep the stuff off my property (no biggie....I'm allergic.....that's an easy promise to make).

The kiddo is just 19, she's not old enough to buy it.  I cannot buy it for her (for ethical and health considerations).

That one is a happy ending.  My basement apartment sits empty.  This is probably a good thing being that my income has dropped by 50%.

As sick as it sounds, I probably qualify for TANF now.

Libertarians avoid TANF, Food Stamps and all those other social programs.  We have Medicaid because the government demands that we have health insurance (but, in all honesty, I don't like to use it.....when I found the breast lump, I used it for an office visit.....I don't know if I would have used it if I needed chemo.

Maybe.....they could have taken my home and sold it to repay the taxpayers.

I'm glad we didn't cross that road.

So much for working as a licensed health insurance agent or an advice rep at a major health care company, it doesn't help one get needed health insurance if they keep you at part time status.

Everything works out in the end, it really does.

Love ya,

S.

Welcome to the Club, Zuckerberg (also a warning)

Today I am thankful for realizing that I am not alone.  

There is a frustrating feeling that one gets when trying to educate lawmakers about the reality of the world in which we live.

I saw this feeling expressed by Mark Zuckerberg during that charade of a Congressional hearing he took part in this week.

Zuckerberg looks a mixture of angry and frustrated.  I know that face.  That's the face where I am stifling laughter so hard that it looks like I'm going to cry.

That's my political face. 

My background is in social science and psychology.  Imagine how irritating it is trying to explain that city policy is based on the concept of a traditional nuclear family (mom, dad, kids - people tied together by blood or legal policy).  As such, there are laws on the books that break up other types of families (more complex family systems of economic cooperation).  Trying to explain that there are  people who share economic resources without blood and marital ties who are being torn apart by local housing policy is incredibly frustrating.  I am commonly met with blank looks and phrases such as 'I don't get it' by idiots who are paid with our tax dollars.

The idiot who was the most vocal about his inability to understand was one that I spoke incredibly highly of after his department ruined my family with their shenanigans.  Now....I'm seeing why they were so daft.

Or maybe he's simply paying me back for the time I recorded him with an obnoxious boom mike....yeah...it's a long story.

I don't know.  Maybe I need to bring my microphones to the city building from now on for inspiration....yeah....inspiration.

Next time, I'll bring construction paper and crayons.  Perhaps that will help with the explanations.

I don't know if I should even broach the fact that city policy is based upon prejudice against people of certain races and sexual orientations.  Any city policy that does only defines a family based on marriage was put in place to prevent live-in couplings between people of the same sex or different races.

Now that such marriages are legal, the laws disproportionally impact disabled people sharing resources.

I mean....only one family can live in a house.  Households are only allowed one other unrelated adult.  If they take in disabled close friend of the family....say old "uncle" Joe and his common-law wife Mary....well....guess who the city is going to evict?

Yep...one of the disabled couple.

Maybe I need to draw it out.  Perhaps I'm making it too complicated.  This is a very basic idea in social science.  It's difficult for me to comprehend that someone doesn't get it.

Perhaps the best thing to do is drape myself in the Gadsden flag* and tell the government to back off and let people live the lives they want to live.  At least I'm polite enough to try to educate them.

You don't know how many people I meet who have been in this situation and evicted by the government from their own homes because the government has a backwards definition of "family."  I'm seeing it more and more now that my eyes have been opened to the problem.

A family shouldn't be based on blood or legal ties alone.  It should be based on economic ties.

I'm sorry.

I don't mean to digress, let's get back on track.

Time is money and if lawmakers are going to waste a CEO's time - the least they could do is educate themselves on how the internet works.

He had to answer the most ridiculous questions.

They have no clue what they're doing.


Oh my.....

My daughter joked that Zuckerberg probably had to set up the internet for the chamber while he was there.

We all have different skill sets.  I felt bad for Zuckerberg having to try to explain basic business strategies to elected officials.

Now....

if I understand correctly, the Cambridge Analytica scandal was due to a rogue app that collected data on people who used it.

I was not impacted by the breach and neither were any of my political friends because we don't take the silly little polls and quizzes on the site.

My take on these sham hearings are two fold:

1.) It would seem to me that some politicians would love to get their hands on specific profiles  for political advantage.

2.) Zuckerberg may think he wants to regulate platforms, such as Facebook, to give him a marketplace advantage.

On the first point, well.....we have a responsibility only to share what we are comfortable going out into the real world.  If it's on Facebook, we probably put it there.

Of course, there was the time someone hacked into my Amazon account and made a vibrator wish list.  I took it down and changed my password.  It hasn't happened since. 

That said, my stalkers tried numerous times to access my Facebook account.  Facebook was always great about emailing me with the IP address of the people trying to log into my account.

That's how I was able to figure out who my stalkers were.

On the second point, um....regulation is a horrible idea.  Yes, regulation will make it harder for other platforms from the United States to come into being.  Regulation has a way of knocking out competition.   It will increase the cost of doing business.  Facebook will have to change its model.  It will have to charge.

Zuckerberg is young.  I was more liberal before the government started messing around with my life.  I was always fairly conservative (well....because the government started messing around with me when I was five years old and in foster care).  In high school, I understood the desire for more laws.  Over time, seeing the results of these laws on my life only made my Conservatism grow worse over the years.

I mistakenly thought that liberals wanted to protect my rights.  When I started my journey into political activism, I quickly found that Republicans were the only people who answered my queries and tried to help.

The Democrats typically ignore the electorate.  They vote like a herd, as if they are stuck in group think.

There are far too many Republicans that act like Democrats.  This is why I am not in their party.

That.....and I don't agree with their immigration policies.  They also don't understand the basic tenants of social science when it comes to reproduction and family violence.

The more control we give the government, the less control we have over our lives.  If they just left us alone, we wouldn't need to worry about whether or not our lawmakers understand the theory behind social science or business.

I identify as libertarian.

The Libertarian party....well...I think they've been infiltrated by leftists.  I hate to say it but I'm had some bizarre conversations with leadership.  The head of the party is pretty smart but state leadership seems lacking.  I'm hearing this story from friends in other states, too.

They say that a libertarian is a conservative who has been screwed around by the government.

If you're liberal, I'd say just to give it time.  The longer you live, the more the government messes with you.  One of these day's you'll wake up and want to drape yourself in the Gadsden flag, too.

There will be a day when Silicon Valley turns red.  If platforms like Facebook are regulated, that day will come sooner rather than later.

*In the view of a libertarian, Facebook is a private platform.  They can do whatever they wish.  We have the option of using them or not.  Data is like gossip.  If we post our crap online, well.....it will grow into a monster.

Gossip, even gossip that begins from a false narrative, can take on a life of it's own.

Love ya,

S.

**I'm going to commission a local artist to create a fabric painting of the city logo surrounded by a rattlesnake with the phrase "don't tread on me." at the bottom.

That's going in my front window.

Maybe I should commission a stained glass piece?

That's strange.

I'm going to end the post earlier than I want.  I just received a text.

I'm being asked to take in another homeless transgendered teenager.

I'm very thankful she doesn't have homeless siblings because the city would force me to evict one of them.

I need to go clean out the basement apartment.  It's become a repository of my ex-husband's football card collection and old tech.

The libertarian thing to do is to help without forcing a reliance on a government solution.  It's incredibly sad when the government ruins things by forcing our hand with inane laws.

Usually, I take in kids kicked out of their homes due to their sexual orientation.  This kiddo came from a loving home.  Her family was priced out of their apartment and are homeless.  I wonder how much higher real estate taxes play into the scenario.

If I could take in her parents, I would.  I can't because of municipal code. 

I'll do what I can.

The world would be a better place if each of us made a pledge to do what we can to help others.

When you do the good you can do, I pray the government doesn't meddle.

Sigh....

Cheers!

P.S. This is funny.......

The Strange Things That Attract Men

Today I had a tiny epiphany.

I am thankful for the realization that I'm not completely aged out of the relationship game. 

I've been giving some thought into the ways in which I meet the men who ask me to hang out. 

When I was a kid, boys were attracted to me because I liked to wrestle.  This ended when I was twelve.

I was....known to knock kids down when they bullied others.

Once I ruined my favorite yellow Easter dress wrestling with the neighbor boy....I stopped.

His name was Bob.

*****

When I was fourteen, I decided that I would grow up to be a musician.

I lied about my age and got a job just so I could buy myself a ton of musical instruments.

My family joked that I was a one man band.  I had intended to become a music teacher.  One has to play a lot of instruments to get into college.

I was accepted into a music program right out of high school.

I had a lot of bass players ask me out when they learned I owned a 5-string Steinberger.  One of them was a local professional.  I thought that was weird.  He had a roadie ask me out on his behalf.

I declined.

Yeah....they weren't interested in me....just the guitar.

*****

In my professional life, as a hypnotist, I get a lot of male attention due to the aura that surrounds the business.

It seems silly but guys are really attracted to powerful women.

*****
As a political activist, I had no clue how many men were attracted to women who like guns.

It's bizarre.

I guess....there was only one or two guys who liked me for who I was without the 9mm, without the pendulum, without the degree, the guitars or the soiled yellow dress. 

I wonder where I could find another one of those?

That's all right.

I honestly don't think I'm ready to date.

I've got too much work to do.

I hope that you're loved for who you are rather than what you have.

Love ya,

S.

P.S.  Now that I think about it, I have a couple of guys from high school trying to get me to go out with them.  They graduated in the class after me.

My high school sweetheart was in their same graduating class.

Man....I've always been a bit of cougar, haven't I?

One of them used to bully me.  I wonder if he could truly change?

If not, he knows I like guns.

He wouldn't ask me out if he wanted to bully me.

Would he?

Maybe I'll give him the chance to redeem himself.

Maybe......

Then again, he brags about refusing to pay his ex child support.

You know..... I won't date him.  I'm far too conservative to tolerate irresponsibility.  If he doesn't like his child support order, it's up to him to hire a lawyer to change it.

In thinking about it....

Maybe the people from my childhood are the only ones who know who I was before I grew up. Maybe they know the real me.....before adulthood got it's dirty mitts on me.....before politicians told me I couldn't do a damn thing about their illegal behavior

and I had to prove them wrong.

Then again....one of my childhood chums said it turned him on when I'd fight the stupidity of the system.

I always won.  I wasn't wrong.

Maybe I'm still.....me...on some sick and twisted level.

Maybe I've always been a bratty heathen.

Still....

Perhaps....those are the people I should hang out with.

It's nice to have a tribe that follows me throughout my life.  I guess it is nice to stay in contact with our childhood friends.

Perhaps I should spend more time with them.

((( hugs )))

Another Stalked Activist

Today I am grateful for food for thought.

I'm crazy busy....

and feelin' crazy.

I'm trying to devote three hours a week to activism.

I'm looking for a job while trying to scheme ways of building my business on very little time and money.

My daughter's boyfriend took Xanax and Methadone in front of the grandbaby.  He mustn't do that very often because it nearly killed him.

He may need a new kidney.

So.....that happened.

The local school district isn't reporting rapes to the police department.  I caught the superintendent and the head of security lying about it.

It sucks reading body language.

I have four daughters.  I'm a rape survivor.  I have ways of getting even with liars.

I'm scheming.

Public schools are not safe.  That's the lesson I get from the school shootings. 

Maybe....it's time to start fighting the tax hikes the lawmakers desperately want for public schools.  The Democrats want it so bad that they are fighting any proposal to make public schools safer.

One wonders if any person can make a difference.

The system is far too corrupted.  We can make waves.  Those waves may knock out a bad proposal but the bad proposals come in waves - one right after another.

No one person has the energy to stop them all.

******

It was a woman who I met near the Wyoming* border that caused me to think.....

We were there for an activist meeting.  We drove from around the state to meet to discuss Anti-Constitutional bs on the part of local governments.

It was a fairly warm sunny day.

She's wearing a hat nearly down to her eyes, sunglasses, scarf and billowy sweater.

I thought, my goodness, she must be roasting in that outfit.

She gave me a warning.

The local governments stalk activists.

Well, yeah....I mean many of my activist friends across the state had GPS devices found on their cars around the time I found one.

Yes....I had a stalker but it turned out to be my ex-husband and his family.

Yes....there were cop cars from my local government outside of my home on a daily basis.  Because I hated the local auditing department so much, I started my business in a city 40 minutes away.  There were a couple of times I found cop cars from this municipality outside of my office - three jurisdictions away!

When I asked about the GPS box, the police department claimed they didn't put it there (as it would be unconstitutional).  It was further claimed that if they put one on a vehicle because they had a warrant, the owner wouldn't find it.

When I asked about the Aurora city car outside of my office in Arvada, I was told that the Aurora water department was working with the City of Arvada on a water deal.  That was easily confirmed.

The second time I saw it, it was on the weekend.  I chalked it up to an unethical employee using a city car on personal time.

Yes.....cops would show up on my property claiming I dialed 911 (which was easily disputed by having them collect all of the phones in the house and hitting redial).  It would seem someone spoofed my phone number.

That was easily remedied by changing my phone number.

Yes....I found cops hanging out on my property claiming that they were chasing a random criminal. Acting like Harley Quinn scared them away.  I never thought a pink aluminum bat would come in handy.

As an adult, I can attest that acting is a very important social skill.  I urge my kids to study anything they wish to study because one doesn't know what will come in handy in the future.

I even find comic books to be a source if inspiration from time to time.

*****

I don't know.

I have dirt on our local Senator but I don't share it because it came to me by a higher up in the Republican Party.  If it were useful dirt, he'd use it.

I was told he was afraid of her looking like a victim and he looking like an aggressor.

Yesterday, I was reminded that powerful people give lunatics that information so that the crazy person will share it.  That helps the powerful person get what they want without getting their hands dirty.

Politics IS dirty.

This senator ought to know that the truth always reveals itself.

I don't have to say a word.

She didn't live in her congressional district when she was a house rep. five years ago.  How did I know?  Well....a local news crew filmed her at home after she complained about being a victim of a threat.

The view from her front window showed that she lives near my office - which is outside of her jurisdiction.

This matched what the Republican told me.

She's dumb enough to go on television again pretending to be a victim.  That would be the time for the Republicans to strike.

It's not my job to do their dirty work.

*****

After meeting the scarf clad woman last week.....I've realized why the Aurora police won't take stalking reports.
If there were an investigation, someone at the city would be found culpable.

They blame the DA for their failure to take police reports.  They claim he doesn't prosecute stalkers.

Maybe....there is something more going on.

I don't know if my ex and his family were inspired by the city to continue the stalking -or- if they saw how it impacted my life and picked up where the city left off....

It probably doesn't help to think about it.

Why are they leaving me alone now?

I wonder....

Their hesitancy could be due to the sheer number of people who get hurt or sick after pissing me off. 

That's just a coincidence.

Rumor has it that I'm a witch.  Perhaps the smartest thing a stalking victim can do is play up the local gossip.

Truth be told.....the people who piss me off are reckless.  They take risks by harassing me.  They take risks by breaking the law. 

People like that tend to take risks in other areas of their lives.   They probably take risks by smoking and eating poorly.  They probably drive like assholes.

That could explain why they get sick and why they are in bad car accidents.

If you want to blame the redheaded bitchy witch, that's okay, too.

Be careful out there. Things are not always what they seem.

Love ya,

S.

*location changed to protect the innocent.

How to Scare a Pussy

Today I am thankful for my cat.  

I've been watching a lot of television  Netflix and Amazon Prime.  I think I'm trying to figure out what type of character I'm playing on this blog. 

I have no clue.  It's based loosely on my life.  

I wish I were a badass. 

My neighbors think I'm a badass.  

In reality, I'm just a graying redhead socialized to hide her enormous temper behind overly kind words and warm smiles.

I think I'm drawn to female psychopathic archetypes.  I watch the female villians.

If I could understand Galactica's #6, Doctor Who's Missy, Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Bond's May Day and other personas of ill badassery.....maybe I could understand how evil people think.

I don't get it. Some of the characters seem to behave as if they believe they're acting out of the collective good -but- they don't honor the lives and liberties of other people.

I guess....one could say that they act like Communists.

Missy....well, she's just plain ol' crazy.  I hear beats in my head all the time - 1 - 2 - 3 -4 / 2 -2 -3 -4 / 3 -2 -3 -4 but then again - such is the life of a wanna be bassist.

Perhaps I should define 'plain ol' crazy.'  In my mind, crazy is acting out of ego for the satisfaction of the Id.  It's acting like a lunatic for the fun of it!

Yeah....can't you tell? I have a worthless master's in psychology.  The lawmakers keep bending to lobbyists and changing the licensure requirements.  Now both of my degrees and my countless counseling certificates are useless.

Maybe I can use my degree for more than manipulating people into hating cigarettes or going to rehab.  Maybe I can write a work of fiction....maybe .....if I can hire 101 editors to correct my mistakes.

Getting back to the point, I find the behavior of these villainesses nonsensical. 

I've been told that, for a woman, activism against the government is nonsensical.  We are supposed to find safety in the deceitful web of men in power.

I never followed a man who didn't lead me into a bottomless pit of despair....sadly.  Why would a politician be any different?

Yeah....

It could be that I'm watching television in an attempt to try to understand my shadow side. 

I can be a mean mother.....

I had a psychology professor witness me going after a public school official for accepting bribes from pharmaceutical companies to diagnose kids with ADHD.  He remarked that the person he saw in me was my shadow side.  That shadow persona wrote a lot of letters to lawmakers.  Teachers are not allowed to diagnose kids with mental issues any longer.  Schools still take the bribes, though.

Hmmmmm.......

It could very well be that..... maybe....the nice Siegfred is the shadow side and the mean person is the real me. 

That could explain a lot.  

******

Today I had the day off.  

I spent the day in the meditation of repainting my house.  The city inspector may come and I don't want him to see the splashes of paint which grace my walls. 

I live in a house full of artists.  

Paint....well....it gets places it shouldn't.

I plugged in my 1980's era boom box and shoved a Garbage CD in it.  

Yeah....I know.  It's 2018.  

I'll buy a new sound system 'When I Grow Up.'  

My cat freaked out!  

Her name is Cleopatra.  

We took her in when the gun toting nutball next door kicked her from his doorway.

He's a shitty pet owner.  I left him a note asking him if he wanted his cat back.

He didn't answer.

We claimed her.  

She's a mix between a tabby and a calico.  She looks like me with her brown and gray tiger stripes and patches of ginger fur that glow in the sun.  

My Facebook buddies named her because she has beautiful green eyes that look like they've been heavily lined in kohl.   

Cleopatra likes classical music.  She loves Tchaikovsky.

She can tolerate the rock classics like Foreigner and Styx. 

Garbage....not so much.  

When 'I Think I'm Paranoid' came on......

She ran! 

The poor kitty.  

I guess that nixes the idea of my ever starting a punk garage band.  

*****

I've spent some time reflecting on wimps and garbage. 

Particularly how garbage spouts from the mouths of wimps.  I wonder, half of the time, if they mean what they say. 

I'm somewhat amused by David Hogg.  I'm wondering how long he has before he grows seriously embarrassed over the bizarre things he says and the realization that he got exactly what he demanded - government intervention!   

Yeah....the government always messes things up.  We're better off without it.  If we can't get rid of it completely, we should at least shrink it.  

I wish someone would buy him a pocket Constitution and tell him that clear backpacks violate his fourth amendment rights.  I'd highlight that one. 

Hogg is young.  He can be anything he chooses to be.  I pray he decides to be a tad bit more scholarly.

Right now, Hogg is acting out of ego for attention.  That makes him look 'plain ol' crazy' and/or stupid.

Hogg still has time to correct his trajectory.  People have short memories.   He'll be okay.  

On the other side of the coin, I am amused by Anarchists who annoy the police by saying "fuck" a lot.  

Any ol' idiot can freak out a police officer by using dirty language.  I'm tempted to post a video of a local activist standing about 50 yards from a clock dedicated to my statist cousin and 200 yards from my previous office window screaming obscenities at the police. 

If he had done that while I was hypnotizing someone, I'd have brought him into the act.  

You know.....

Um....sweetie.....a true maestro can freak out the cops by pointing out the obvious.  They didn't go into police work to be tax collectors.

Tell them that and watch their faces contort! 

Sure, they'll harass you if you flip them off and scream "fuck the cops!"

If you really want them to harass ya - fight their funding.  I swear, they'll make house calls if you do that. 

That can be comical if you're old and nightmarish without make-up.  This kid was better looking than I, so he'll get much less mileage out of that tactic. 

If you really want a laugh, scheme to get rid of red light scameras and fight the tax hikes the city promises will go to the police department.  

The money never goes where promised.  

Sigh......

Liars....Liars.....

I swear I smell smoky pants in city hall.  

I'd probably be thinner if I hung out there more.  The smell of burnt arse hair does a number on one's appetite. 

And....sadly....I scare the cops. 

One of them came into my house while I was in the shower.   I wasn't wearing make-up.  I jumped out of the shower, didn't dry off and put on a t-shirt and jeans.

I ran into the garage and grabbed my pink baseball bat in a bid to protect him from the imaginary criminal he claimed was in my house. 

I was probably about fifteen years older than the cop. My maternal instincts must've kicked in.

My floppy boobs, that wet t-shirt and my aging skin probably gave him nightmares.  

Well.....he took off like a bat out of hell.  He no longer works for the department.  

He was probably traumatized. 

That was about six months before I found a GPS device on my mini-van.  

That could explain why the cops refuse to take police reports when I call about the stalker or my neighbor screaming at anyone who parks in front of my home.  He threatens to shoot people.

People like my gun toting neighbor are the reasons we have to fight idiots like David Hogg for our Constitutional rights.  I fear....one day....I'll come home from work and they'll be yellow crime tape around his house. 

To be fair, the cops sent a young man over when my daughter was harassed by a man who recently escaped a correctional facility.  They arrested him shortly after the call was made.  

Maybe....they just don't like  me.  

That's okay, I don't need a fan club.  

I think I this rebel needs a cause

Or a better job to keep her busy. 

******

I don't know if there is truly any point in fighting the power.

Power corrupts.

When one powerful idiot gets cut down, another takes his place.

It's like the villains out of Star Trek. 

Politicians are akin to the Borg.  The Borg are the ultimate example of sci-fi Communists. 

The worst thing about it all is....

well....

the power of suggestion did my job for me. 

I'm trying to fix the damage. 

I spent Sunday praying to Apollo. 

I spent Sunday night praying to Asclepius. 

Sigh.....

Last month.....angry about the sheer number of pit bulls killed in this city due to a nonsensical breed ban....

I put the intention out into the universe that those in power would live as long as those lives they condemn to death.

I met a young lady new to this city who had her pit bull killed by the city.  We really need to put signs up at the entrances to this city alerting travelers to our dog discrimination laws based on superstition and stupidity.

Truth be told, I was sad and angry for her.  Sad and angry are emotional states that can lead to one heck of a trance.  

I didn't light any black or purple candles. 

The head honcho came down with cancer.

So.....to try to fix it, 

I lit a 7 day yellow one in his honor.  

It stopped burning on it's own within just a few hours.  

I'll do it again this Sunday.  I'm using Frankincense given to me by someone from Saudi Arabia.  It's good stuff.  

I don't break that out for just anyone.  

I wish I had more important things to say.
  

I don't.

I'm just amused by some of the strange characters in the world.

I'm wondering if their antics will change the world at all.

My antics won't.

*****

I think I'll just meditate to my music tonight. 

It's hard. 

I see people doing the same crap....each and every day. 

They can be rescued....only to put themselves into the exact same situation the very next day. 

It's exhausting. 

Yeah...I have a little bit of guilt because I stopped advocating for someone who keeps putting himself at risk of homelessness.  

Maybe the universe is making me rethink who I help and why.  

I'll do more meditating. 

I don't have a lot of time on this plain of existence left.  I need my efforts to count for something.  

I hope you find whatever it is you were meant to do, too.  

Love ya, 

S.