Skip to main content

The Strange Things That Attract Men


Today I had a tiny epiphany.

I am thankful for the realization that I'm not completely aged out of the relationship game. 

I've been giving some thought into the ways in which I meet the men who ask me to hang out. 

When I was a kid, boys were attracted to me because I liked to wrestle.  This ended when I was twelve.

I was....known to knock kids down when they bullied others.

Once I ruined my favorite yellow Easter dress wrestling with the neighbor boy....I stopped.

His name was Bob.

*****

When I was fourteen, I decided that I would grow up to be a musician.

I lied about my age and got a job just so I could buy myself a ton of musical instruments.

My family joked that I was a one man band.  I had intended to become a music teacher.  One has to play a lot of instruments to get into college.

I was accepted into a music program right out of high school.

I had a lot of bass players ask me out when they learned I owned a 5-string Steinberger.  One of them was a local professional.  I thought that was weird.  He had a roadie ask me out on his behalf.

I declined.

Yeah....they weren't interested in me....just the guitar.

*****

In my professional life, as a hypnotist, I get a lot of male attention due to the aura that surrounds the business.

It seems silly but guys are really attracted to powerful women.

*****
As a political activist, I had no clue how many men were attracted to women who like guns.

It's bizarre.

I guess....there was only one or two guys who liked me for who I was without the 9mm, without the pendulum, without the degree, the guitars or the soiled yellow dress. 

I wonder where I could find another one of those?

That's all right.

I honestly don't think I'm ready to date.

I've got too much work to do.

I hope that you're loved for who you are rather than what you have.

Love ya,

S.

P.S.  Now that I think about it, I have a couple of guys from high school trying to get me to go out with them.  They graduated in the class after me.

My high school sweetheart was in their same graduating class.

Man....I've always been a bit of cougar, haven't I?

One of them used to bully me.  I wonder if he could truly change?

If not, he knows I like guns.

He wouldn't ask me out if he wanted to bully me.

Would he?

Maybe I'll give him the chance to redeem himself.

Maybe......

Then again, he brags about refusing to pay his ex child support.

You know..... I won't date him.  I'm far too conservative to tolerate irresponsibility.  If he doesn't like his child support order, it's up to him to hire a lawyer to change it.

In thinking about it....

Maybe the people from my childhood are the only ones who know who I was before I grew up. Maybe they know the real me.....before adulthood got it's dirty mitts on me.....before politicians told me I couldn't do a damn thing about their illegal behavior

and I had to prove them wrong.

Then again....one of my childhood chums said it turned him on when I'd fight the stupidity of the system.

I always won.  I wasn't wrong.

Maybe I'm still.....me...on some sick and twisted level.

Maybe I've always been a bratty heathen.

Still....

Perhaps....those are the people I should hang out with.

It's nice to have a tribe that follows me throughout my life.  I guess it is nice to stay in contact with our childhood friends.

Perhaps I should spend more time with them.

((( hugs )))


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor hi...

Confused Terror

Today I am thankful for forensic research.   I am realizing that my danger has not passed.  Steve wants me to move beyond the stalking.  I try.  I research it.  I delve into case studies.  I read too much.  How can I feel safe again? And, again it comes down to rage, anger, power, and the need to control another human being.  Stalkers tend to have had a previous relationship with their victims and do not want to let go of said relationship.  Then, I realize that I have my ex-husband living in my basement who daily tells me that Steve has everything he (meaning my ex) wants.  Then I feel sick and scared.  90% of stalkers have the ability to coerce their families into stalking for them.  I get more afraid.  Am I allowing the enemy close access?  Do I have to change up the divorce agreement, sell the house and move out of state?  I also am learning that most incide...