Police Reports

Today I am thankful that the local police department took a police report. 

One of the teenagers had a creepy experience.  I cannot write about it out of fear that it would cause trouble. 

She came home and recounted her experience.  I called the police department.

It's sad....I have the phone number memorized.

A male officer came over and took a police report.

He went on to coach the teenagers on how to stay safe in those types of situations.  He reminded them to trust their instincts.

This is probably one of the few bona fide times I can say something absolutely positive about a police officer.  Sadly, he did not leave us his name or calling card.

The perpetrator was found and arrested in our city within a few hours.

Thank you, Aurora P.D.

I'll let the supervisor know at my earliest opportunity.

See the difference a police report makes?

Love ya,


S. 

We Need More Mean Moms in Politics

Today I am thankful for the whiplash I received by reading my Twitter feed.

To tell the truth about it, I'm currently listening to a self-help hypnosis recording to talk myself out of running for office. The voice over guy who recorded it has an accent that puts me in mind of a Star Wars Character.  He sounds scary.....like Palpatine.



It's not doing anything for me.  The hate and disgust is already there.


I am getting sick and tired of stupid people behaving in stupid ways and treating the voters like chumps.

In my blog, I make fun of stupid people.

I make fun of superstitious people.

I try incredibly hard to identify with stupid, superstitious people in the hopes of understanding them.

Sometimes things get so stupid, you can't make fun of it anymore.

I'm exhausted.

So....

I'll start with Trump. 

If I could give Donald Trump the mom death stare and say just a few words, I'd say....

That swamp isn't going to drain itself - Stop Tweeting!!

[I'd follow that up with the sound of a whip cracking.] 

That poor dear he criticized, Mika Brezenski, she needs a hug.  Look, he's jealous.  She's gorgeous.  She's smart.  She's intelligent (I'll explain below). He took a cheap shot because he's insecure about his appearance.

But, she's milking it.  She's on the attack constantly.  She's attacking a narcissist.  I'm going to guess she knows damn well what she's doing, huh?  Yeah....that's right. 

If a person pokes a narcissist enough, they react with rage. 

That's what happened today and he hit a vulnerability of hers.  NEVER tell a narcissist a secret.  They hang on to it and share that secret when they're trying to change the subject from something horrible they've done. 

I hope she finds a different schtick.

*****

We're seeing other crap play out here in Colorado.

We had some disability activists camping out in a Senator's Denver office. They demanded to the see the Senator (even though he is currently in Washington D.C.).  He met with them via videocam. Office staff was said to have met with them. 

They are upset because they think this senator is going to vote for Trumpcare.  This senator has already pledged not to vote for it (unless it changes drastically and he has hard numbers about who will be affected).  They must have gotten to him. 

That wasn't enough for these disability activists.  They kept camping out anyway (for three days).  

That's dumb.  That's just playing on the pity of the public to get a photo op.  Really? How did they expect him to get from D.C. to Denver and back again in time for the hearings unless he had a flippin' time machine?




Maybe the conspiracy theorists have told everyone he has a time machine.  I don't know.  If he has a time machine, he needs to fix a statement he released yesterday. 

Yep, this senator pledged NOT to have these activists arrested.  He made this pledge on Wednesday.

They were arrested less than 24 hours later.

The lesson here is never to set expectations that you do not intend to keep.

Both sides reek. 

The sad thing is that I know many disabled people active in politics.  Why not do what they do?  Why not develop working relationships with lawmakers instead of using them to get press time.

People who run the parties suck. People who write bizarre articles that guess at what is in a healthcare bill suck.  People buy into the hoopla and do things that put them in danger. 

It's getting to the point that people don't trust the media anymore.  The day I have to read Al Jazeera to get more balanced news is the day our media outlets have gone too far. 

I'm still a licensed health insurance agent.  I read everything I can.  Half the shit that Huffpo says is false.  We don't know what we don't know.  There is no point worrying about things that haven't even been written yet. 

There is more but I don't have enough time to write about everything. 

Someone needs to call both parties out on their bullshit. 

It is B.S. 

You'd think in Denver, with all of us cowpokes, someone would crack the damn whip and make these people buck up. 

Geesh!

**Edit 7/3/2017 - It turns out that those protesters were paid to protest.  Many of them weren't disabled.  It actually explains a lot.  I know people in wheelchairs.  I know how many of them have to take meds to keep their legs from spasm-ing and trying the right balance of medications to stop them from falling asleep.  There are other health issues they endure on a daily basis.  Part of me wanted to know how they could sleep in that office for so long.  I guess I have my answer.....

Original post continues below -

Someone recently asked me to consider writing a book on psychological issues.  I always thought my book would be about self-help.  A title could be something like "How to get your happy ass a graduate degree when your foster parents said you were too dumb to chew"  -or - "How I went from a crooked toothed model to an overweight pig with perfect teeth while homeless" -or- something based on my life.

 Maybe I should.....maybe I should write about the psychology of politicians and media whores. 

Perhaps something like....

Why Do U.S. Intellectuals Behave Like Mental Patients?  

I'll meditate on it. 

******
I'm trying to convince myself that on the road of life, I need to stay on the high road (what is actually named The Damn Road) and let all the idiots sit beneath me stuck on the highway of hell. 

The road on top of the hill is the dam road.  You get to see water, sailboats, mountains, birds and all sorts of dreamy things on the dam road.  Few cars drive it.  The highway is in the foreground and it's busy, even in the middle of the day and all you can see are red taillights.  

I didn't think that this is what they meant by the road less traveled. 

******

Maybe I'll end the blog post on a positive note.

I do a lot of freebie hypnosis.  I've had three new clients this week.  They don't pay me.

I know....I know....

That's not what one goes into business for.  

They need help. Two are cancer patients and one was an elderly man who bought a Groupon two years ago and forgot about it.

I'll stop doing freebie hypnosis soon. 

A weird thing happened today.

My check-engine light came on as I drove to work.

My car started to idle strangely.

After my appointments, I drove it to my favorite mechanic in Aurora. 

I need my car.

I didn't say a peep about my situation. 

I figured I'd have to dig into my retirement account to pay off my credit cards after the community college raided them so I didn't see the problem of another amount to tack onto it.

Do you want to know what happened?

In less than 20 minutes. 

He fixed my car.

I don't know what he did. 

It's running fine.

Do you want to know what he charged me?

$0.

Maybe what comes around goes around. 

I'll pay it forward a little bit longer. 

On the road of life, I should stick to the Damn road.

Love ya,

S. 

Living in a Haunted House Fantasy

Today I am thankful that something.....

be it fate.....

or a djinn...

or an electrical force

turned off my stove and rotisserie.

I ate something bad yesterday.  I spent the day in Downtown. 

We ate dinner at Sam's Club.

I don't think it was a good thing for me. 

Today.....

I'm living in my bathroom.

The only thing good that has come out of this is that I've bleached the bathroom.....

many, many times over.

There is a chance I've lost a pound or two.

Before I got sick,

I started to cook scalloped potatoes and rotisserie chicken.

About ten minutes later, I lost it.

I ran to the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity. 

When I went downstairs,

after a very long time

worried that I burned dinner. 

I could smell something burning.

Upon entering the kitchen,

I noticed that the clocks weren't working and the fan wasn't circulating air.

The microwave, the stove, the rotisserie, weren't working.

The circuit breaker had tripped.

Luckily,

dinner was finished....

and still warm, too.

How could this happen.

Is this due to some unknown force in my home? 

The Djinn perhaps?

Maybe my djinn are foodies?

I thought genies were vegan.

I'm pretty sure, according to Islamic folklore, believer djinn are vegan.

Maybe the smell of burned flesh is hellish to them. 

Just teasing......

It could simply be that I'm lucky.

I've also learned one big lesson through all of this.....

In my house, don't wish to lose weight.

On this one time occasion, you can make a wish at my house without scaring yourself.

I saved the wishbone for ya!

Love ya,


S. 

Progress

Today I am thankful for progress.

Now, I don't write about this often -but-

when I was a homeless teen, I was rescued by a gay man and his boyfriend.  They helped me get an apartment, find a job and saw me off to school each and every day.

I think the motivation was to do something for me that they wish had been done for them.

They were both thrown out of their childhood homes for being gay.

I'm trying to return the favor and keep a promise I made to myself when I was seventeen.

Now, I am sharing my space with a young woman who was thrown out of the house for being a lesbian.

Her father came over here screeching at me because I'm allegedly "a man-hating lesbian."

Just because I don't want to kiss....doesn't make me gay...ugh!

I used to be an academic.  My research and writing is in social science and psychology (e.g. the use of altered states of consciousness to deal with anxiety and stress). 

Bitch about me in words that I can understand.  

Say "Misandric Homosexual"

To call me a lesbian is to guess my gender. 

Truth is, I'm neither.  I'm Asexual.

I have a shadow form of OCD (not enough to be diagnosed). 

Good sex is messy and I haven't find anyone worth washing the sheets over. 

I don't hate all men.

I just hate assholes. 

*****
There are times when I can convince this young lady that her father misses her.  She'll start to say nice things about him.  She'll consider visiting with him. 

And he'll want her to come home

-and-

wait for it

he'll fuck it up. 

He'll get angry and tell her that he's turning her room into a shoe rack, another office or something else.....

He'll do something to alienate her.

You can't coach the un-coachable.

She spent the weekend with his family.  She panicked at the thought of visiting with him.  She came home in tears.  She's not leaving her room. 

I'm being told that he doesn't want her to come home.  He wants me to care for his daughter while he collects child support from his ex-wife. 

It's a game. 

He's going to lose the prize - he's messing up his relationship with his daughter.

He'll leave me phone messages wanting Susan to call him. 

Who is Susan?

Maybe I'm Susan? 

The last time he came over here in huff, he was afraid I'd ask his daughter to pay rent.  I haven't asked for a dime.  He wants his daughter to pay rent to him (even though she's not living there).

I think this guy needs money. 

******

We have a friend of the family who is trans.

She has recently moved just a few blocks from the apartment I had in Capital Hill.  The one I shared with Sampson.  The one where the cops would harass me and threaten my gay friends.

She lives within blocks of the school I where I studied music.  Where my friends let me play bass with their band (the friends who opened for George Jones....no I didn't share the stage).

Today, I took my daughter to the school where I studied music and I was floored by the size of their campus.

Holy crap, it's four times the size it was thirty years ago!

She loves it. 

I do the mom thing - I talk to everybody. 

She went on a tour of the school.  I went around talking to anyone who wanted to chat.

I spoke to the guy in admissions; 

the staff of the financial aid (who have heard similar stories to what my daughter endured at the community college and that's why 60% of their student body are transfer students - yes, I laughed when I heard the statistic);

the clerk at the commissary and I talked about the ghosts that inhabit the student center;

and an older gentleman sitting outside the library.

I took pictures.

I didn't make it to the arts or the psychology department. I know one of the professors in the psychology department and another in the philosophy department. 

It was fun.

After we filled out the admissions paperwork, I took my kiddo on a tour of Capital Hill.

I pointed out the Colorado Education Association building,

the building where the senators offices are,

the Masonic Temple,

the capital,

the best book store on the planet,

the place you can get the best gyros in town,

and Queen Soopers. 

As I drove around I remembered another assault I experienced in Denver by cops James and Miller.  They once tackled me on Ninth and Downing by a newspaper box.

Sampson was arrested.  

I don't know why.

I didn't have to bail him out.

I wonder why I forgot that?

I remember they pushed me onto grass.  Grass didn't hurt as much as the pavement at 12th and pearl.

It's weird what we forget as time passes.

Sadly, our trans friend was hit in the face walking down the street a few days ago.  She's too afraid to go to the police.  We have to get her some pepper spray. 

Maybe I should see if a friend would like to teach her some self defense moves?

As much as things change, some horrible things stay the same.

Sigh.....

*******
Then I came home to read about The Supreme Court hearing the Masterpiece Cake Shop case.

This was a Denver baker who refused to bake a seven layer rainbow cake with teal and red icing for a gay couple from Massachusetts.  The couple hasn't been very polite about it.

I'm Pagan.  This guy won't bake a cake depicting Dionysus for me.

You know what, that's okay!

When I point out the Constitutional problem of forcing artists to create unique works of art that they don't agree with, I get called a religious nut that hates gays.

Um.....seriously? 

Do they have any clue how many Pagan Gods are gay? 

I'm a child of Apollo (born on Sep. 7th).  My house is a shrine to Artemis.  Dionysus is my Patron God.

You've got to be freakin' kidding me. 

They're acting like spoiled children with the death threats and all -

I've stopped giving money to LGBTQ causes.

I'll just help whoever I can whenever I can.

Oh, and drive my pride parade float around town.

******
All in all it was a busy day.

My kiddo is in the process of being accepted into a real university.

I'm trying to figure out how to gather the money to pay the inept (and potentially fraudulent) community college.

The feds reached out to me today to talk about filing a fraud complaint.

I posted about the ordeal on social media.  Someone at the Community College saw it and the school called me.

I know how it goes with government entities;

they make excuses,

they lie through their teeth,

it's probably best just to file the complaint and explain all four areas of concern and submit it.

I'll let the feds sort it out.

A university is going to be a heck of a lot cheaper than putting the tuition of a community college on a credit card.  The community college can't seem to igure out what in the world they are doing with financial aid -and- they have a tendency to dis-enroll students after the withdrawal deadline without notice or reason (they're not saying why they did that).

That's fraud.

My daughter enrolled in eight classes over the course of the past year.  They withdrew her from five of them. We didn't know this until the end of the semester.  She was submitting assignments!!!

Why in the heck didn't the professors tell her????

No matter....

I was assured this wouldn't happen at the university. 

I never finished my degree there.  My music mentor died the morning of the first day of classes (he had a heart attack).  I finished the first year and transferred to another school. 

My nephew and aunt have degrees from this school.  They're happy with them. 

We'll see if my kiddo likes it. 

We had a busy day today.

Tomorrow, my job hunt begins anew.

Love ya lots,

S.

A Musician's Back Up Alarm System

Today I am thankful for people who understand my redneck ways.

So...

We had someone break into the garage on Friday. 

I've started to push poles and chairs up against the doors to brace them and make it harder for people to get into the house.

I also put acoustic guitars in front of the objects bracing the doors so I can hear if they open. 

My eldest daughter came over -

she stared at the vintage olive green Spanish guitar which sat in front of the braced door leading into the garage.

After a few minutes her face brightened up

and she laughed

and laughed. 

She said I was clever.

Safety is a big deal.  You've got to use every talent you have to stay safe.

I remember the voices of the two men I heard that night.

I listen for them around town each and every day.

I haven't heard those voices again. 

Sigh.....

If I'm awakened in the middle of the night by a cacophony of strings, you know I'm grabbing a weapon.

My favorite weapon is hairspray....

then my baseball bat......

the gun is the last resort. 

By the time I grab the gun, either the knife wielder or the three archers upstairs will have the villain down. 

I have amazing girls in my home. 

Love ya,


S.

Running Post: Witchy Vexation Box

Today I am thankful that I swore off magick as a child.

There are days when I read stories where I think about re-considering. 

It's just superstition, right?

If I ran around printing pictures off of the web and burying them in [censored], burning a black candle while reading the psalms and praying that the soul in the picture would face his or her maker -
no one would die, right?

The spell says they would die. 

Two people have died after I lit black candles and asked that they stop harassing me.

I don't think magick killed them.

I think they died because they were dangerous assholes.  Dangerous assholes tend to befriend other dangerous assholes who are more likely to kill them when they piss them off.

Assholes tend to piss everybody off.

Spell casting isn't real.  It's just a way for a person to get his or her angries out.

Right?

After the weird crap I've seen, I don't know what to believe.

I do know that negative energy will stick around.

If I even think nasty thoughts about someone - I'll get hurt because it will disturb my peace of mind.

There are some people that make me want to test the death curses just to see if, perhaps, it's all a coincidence.

I think I should post them here - knowing that I probably won't burn the hot pepper or release the demons or anything else the gossips say I can do.

If I were really a witch, I could conjure money and afford a better blogging platform.

Still.....

I'm going to keep a running list of people who deserve karma to give them ten times more than they gave with the accompanying story.  These are the kind of stories that test my vow to never engage in dark magick and piss me off to the point of running for office.

Witches are said to curse vexation boxes in which they put the names of people who piss them off.  This act is said to put the name's owner into a curse like state while leaving the witch free from being bothered by them.

This will be Siegfred's electronic vexation box. 

I may or may not post names.

I will post stories.

Perhaps leaving them here will free my psyche from them.

This is only for the truly disturbing people who murder and main without facing consequences for their behavior. 

*****
06/25/2017: Today the winners are five cops from Texas who murdered an 18 year old boy by tasing his sex organs.  May the universe give them ten times more than what they give.  I'm not going to post the video (which can be found by clicking the links in the story).  It's fairly graphic. 

These guys need to be dragged to the fire pits by the hounds of hell.  Wanna know something funny?  There is a spell for that....I've never cast it...it may be fun. 

http://thefreethoughtproject.com/cop-tasered-teen-testicles-not-charged/

If these cops think it's cute to test hypothesis to see if sexually molesting a young man with a taser will harm him, I'd be more than honored to test the theory that voodoo works. 

Since my first attempts will be weak, maybe I could start with the DA who didn't prosecute and the police chief who is turning a blind eye to perversion within his department? 

Maybe I can play around with money spells to reroute money from that particular police department into another cause - say - the victim's family?

Hey....

It's just an experiment.  What's the harm?  Right?

I'm sure these idiots won't mind.  It's just superstition.  Their lives are just as valuable as the life of the young man they snuffed out.  Right?

If I'm not sleeping at 4:00 this morning, I may give it a whirl.  It's 1:30 a.m.  I'm still wide awake. 

tic - toc

Just teasing.

The part that makes me sick is wondering how many other people were murdered by these cops in a similar fashion?

It's got to stop. 

*****

This running post will be my repository for the truly creepy people who need to die a slow, painful agonizing death.

If I put it here, it may be easier to remove it from my mind. 

Love ya lots,


S. 

Padding The Books

Today I am thankful for the information and insight stored in the back of my mind from listening to my ex-husband talk about auditing governments and companies.

The subconscious mind is said to store everything;

everything we think,

everything we feel,

everything we see,

everything we hear,

and

everything we smell.

For some darn reason, the smell of misleading and vague information shared by a government employee hiding behind a bureaucracy grabbed my attention.

I realize why my internal radar is going off with the local community college.

I suspect financial fraud. 

This will be my working post on why that is so.

First and foremost, I am learning through my research that the Department of Education has rules that schools who accept financial aid must follow.

1.) They must release the funds they receive on behalf of students within three business days.

This college is hanging on to them for upwards of three weeks causing some students to be dis-enrolled from their classes due to nonpayment.

2.) The federal government caps student loan collection fees at 18.5%.  Any money owed to a public school is, technically, a student loan.  This means one can never bankrupt on the debt.  This debt, like a defaulted student loan, will make it impossible for a student to enroll in college.

This community college charges a 30% collection fee to set up a payment plan. 

These are issues I'm still researching.

A.) How long can a school hang on to funds when a student is withdrawn?  Do they have to send the government's money back to them within a certain amount of time?

This is the huge red flag. Last week, we received a letter stating that my daughter was withdrawn from all of her classes and that money was owed.  The letter didn't give much information.

After several hours wrangling with the school on Thursday, my daughter found out she was automatically did-enrolled from ALL of her classes on February 14th.  She was still turning in homework because she was not informed of the withdrawals.  The grants were not returned to the government until.....

(drum roll....)

JUNE 12TH!

It gets worse.  The Registrar said she was kicked out of her classes on February 14th.  The Financial Aid office and the Cashier show her as an active student who failed all of her classes.  She was possibly failed because the professors thought she was kicked out and didn't grade her coursework.  Perhaps the school cuts off the communication between the instructors and the students after a withdrawal from class. 

There has to be something to this level of mis-communication.

[Perhaps I should be happy I didn't take the graduate level teaching job at my alma matter.  Wow.....]

THIS IS A HUGE RED FLAG.

B.) Does the government have rules about the length of time between a billing statement and demand for final payment? 

There was only one billing statement dated May 25th, 2017.  It was due June 22nd for the amount of $1,027.00.  The demand was for $2,165.

There was absolutely no statement created as of June 22nd for the surprise $1,138.00. 

Why?  Can they just demand more money when you show up with a credit card?

THIS IS BEYOND BIZARRE.

*****

This is my process post.  If anything else crops up, I'll post it here.

I've bailed my daughter out.  At considerable financial risk I put this on a credit card to appease the school.

I'll cut back on expenses and will float my bills to pay back the credit cards without too much interest.  I'm not happy.  I've cut back on food.  I eat jello rather than meat and to save grocery money.  I found an old canister of unflavored gelatin I bought when a health food store closed about a decade ago.

Do you know gelatin smells like wet dog?

I drink it anyway. Every little bit helps. 

I'm sure in the future, if I'm ever elected to office and someone asks me about community colleges, my subconscious mind is going to take me back to the smell and taste of that wet dog concoction.

I'll talk about wasted time due to automatic withdrawals, naïve students, poor communication, withholding financial aid for three weeks, surprise bills, insane collection fees, extended time to finish degrees, watered down coursework.....and other things

with the look of disgust on my face. 

At least, I'll possibly be thinner. 

******

I don't trust this school.  There are too many red flags. 

If this were a private company.  I'd just tell my friends and refuse to do business with them again.

This is an institution funded by tax dollars.

Something is bugging me about this. 

I can't put my finger on it.....yet.

My thoughts are that this school is taking advantage of naïve young people.  They hide behind privacy to keep the parents out of the loop until the bill comes due.

By the time most of us hit forty, we've lived long enough to know what is legal and what is not.

I'm thinking the school may not be as financially sound as they'd like to show themselves to be.  I suspect that may be why they are di-enrolling students after the deadline for full withdrawal has passed and hanging on to the funds for 90 - 180 days prior to sending the money back to the Federal Government (depending on if you count the date they receive the funds or the date they withdraw the student from class).

Hey taxpayers..............

that's your dough that's being borrowed.  They're not providing the service you're paying for and refunding you more than three months after the fact!

How does that make you feel?  

Do you think this is right?

I don't.

The illegal 30% collection fee is to push parents into paying immediately.  If families could pony up an entire semesters worth of tuition in less than 30 days, there would be no need for financial aid, would there? 

It gets worse.  They promised to "potentially" let my daughter retake the courses at no additional cost if she wrote a statement talking about how tough life is at home.

I think that this is a way the colleges lawyers can blame ME for their financial shenanigans and lack of communication should this go much further.

I get it now!!!  Bring it.....I've sued more corrupt governmental organizations.  I don't think they could hold a candle to the gossip the crazy chick that used to work for the City of Aurora used to spew.  At least, I'd hope the lawyers for a college could use more melodious language in their deflections of responsibility and projections of personal shortcomings.

Something is afoot.

I'll try to find it.

I hope someone else joins me on this endeavor.  I'll find a way to make my research public just in case it helps someone else.

I'm reading about this a lot in the college review forums.

The problems seem to start around 2012. 

I can't pinpoint what changed that year.

Something is wrong with this particular school. 

I want to know what it is.

Love ya lots,

S.

EDIT: I reached out to the school via Facebook and asked for the name and contact information for the Dean of Student Affairs. 

They wrote back refusing to give it to me because they spoke to my daughter. I asked her about it.  They have not reached out to her.

Understand. I have a graduate degree.  I graduated with a BA from Washginton state.  I have even taken courses from this school.  Contacting a dean to share concerns has NEVER been issue before.   

Why wouldn't I think they've broken laws at this point? 

No one is this evasive!

Geesh!!

At least I gave the community college a chance to speak to me before proceeding to complaining to the federal investigators.  When you play with government funds.  There are rules that must be followed.  So far, I've found two laws being broken and several red flags. 

Something is wrong here.  My friends are quick to tell me that Community Colleges have uneducated teachers and sloppy admins. 

I never believed that until now.

If one is dis-enrolled, one should know and one should know why.  That's not an answer my daughter has received.  And despite the communication below, NO ONE has given my daughter an answer.

We're interviewing other colleges.

I'll copy and paste the communication below. 

FRI 2:20PM

Please let me know how to contact the dean of student affairs.  I have concerns. 

I've shared them with my state representative [deleted]

I've also contacted the Federal Department of Education's investigation unit.

I'll continue researching the issue.  Please let me know who to speak to.  This has to do with automatically withdrawing students (no concrete reason given) and getting different answers from different departments as to the student's enrollment status.

After reading reviews of this college online, I'm seeing that this is a common issue.

Please let me know who to speak with.

Thank you.

11:03AM

thank you for expressing your concerns about your daughter being dropped from classes here at CCA earlier this year. Please have her complete our Student Complaint Form so that someone can contact her.

Here’s the link to the form:
https://cm.maxient.com/reportingform.php?CCofAurora&layout_id=4

Thank you again for expressing your concerns. Someone has talked with your daughter and the issue is being resolved.

Just to be sure I am understanding the situation I'm going to ask one more time:

Is it possible to connect with either the Dean of Student Affairs or the Dean of Student Retention? Contact information is missing from the CCA website.

Thank you in advance for your time.

Please have your daughter complete our Student Complaint Form so that someone can contact her.

Here’s the link to the form:
https://cm.maxient.com/reportingform.php?CCofAurora&layout_id=4

This seems quite abnormal that one cannot contact the deans.  Thank you for doing your best.  I'll share this message.

I wish you a marvelous Monday.

That Tears IT

Today I am thankful for my pink baseball bat, my Glock and my mace.

Nothing scares me. 

I collect allegedly haunted artifacts.  I'd be a ghost researcher if I had more time. 

It's not really that important to me.  It seems more important for me to keep the living from living life as though they were dead.

*******

I heard two male voices last night at 3:30 a.m.

I ran down stairs in my silk robe and couldn't find anything. 

I failed to check the garage.

This morning, I saw that SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE GARAGE through an unused blue door leading into the backyard!

That is IT!

I'm going to war. 

I know the cops won't care.  I took a picture of the scene and left the police department a message on Facebook asking if they cared to know where and when this took place to help them analyze crime trends.

They didn't give a shit when my locks were broken.

I don't think they care now. 

My door didn't shut easily, something must've broke.  I had to throw my entire body weight against the door to shut it. 

I'll have to fix that before I sell the property. 

I'm quickly getting to the point of incredible anger.

I'm a heck of a lot of fun when I'm angry. 

I'll find a way to deal with the troublemakers.  It'll be worth the laugh for everyone else. 

Love ya,

S.

LATE NIGHT EDIT:  I haven't heard back from the local police department**.  They really don't care.  They never have.  I mean, I don't have anything expensive.  I'm not important or a victim.  They're not going to do anything great by preventing crime on my property. 

They seem incredibly busy.  They also seem to be moonlighting as Code Enforcement officers.  The population has exploded and it seems like the crime rate has skyrocketed, not only in Aurora but Denver, too.

Last month, my daughter was hit by a drunk driver and she waited for the Denver Police Department for an hour and they never showed up to the accident scene.  Luckily she works in law and defends people against DUI.  She knew what evidence to collect.  The drunk driver didn't go to jail.  There was no one to stop him from driving home. There is no way to protect future victims from him -but- at least she could prove that she wasn't at fault for the accident.

At least Denver Dispatch called her to tell her that an officer wasn't going to make it anytime soon and to file an accident report online. 

Cops are busy.  We have to be responsible for our own safety.

Since the last time someone tried to break in, I've been bracing the doors and windows with wooden chairs and metal poles.

It's impossible for anyone to get in or out of this house at night. 

I'm more afraid of the guy who comes into my yard in the middle of the night than I am of fire.

I don't know if this guy is random -or- one of my ex's relatives. 

I really wish the camera installer would finish the job.

We'll see. 

If this were random, I'm sure someone else in the neighborhood had the same experience and made a report.

I did take pictures.  I'm incredibly lucky.  I still had the 30 bags and boxes of donations packed around the garage door.  No one could get to the house entrance from the door that was busted in without moving them.  They are huge!

Even then.....he (or they) weren't getting inside because I had the door braced. 


I'm wondering......

this is a joke.....

kind of.....

if one of my thousands of allegedly haunted objects are real......

couldn't I arrange them in such a way to creep visitors out?

I'm wondering......

Can I give the appearance of living in a haunted house?

Can I use my hobby to spook asshats?

It's something to think about. 

I mean...a caldron is nothing but a dutch oven. 

I have several of those. 

I have demented looking statues.

I can always hang strung cotton and huge, real looking spiders.

I wonder.....what would a haunted house look like?

What would it feel like?

What would give idiots the hee-bee jee-bees?

Maybe I should watch more horror flicks and stop oiling the gate so it creaks and moans.

The neighbors say this guy is hoping the fence.

A cop said that in 2011, too. 

Maybe I can put something strange around the fence that would feel.....creepy....when fallen into.

It can't smell.

It can't be ugly.

It can't be poisonous (so no MayApple).

It can't be a noxious weed. 

Maybe it could be scratchy?

Could I....buy manikins and tear off the limbs and bury them so the hands stick out of the ground?

That wouldn't work, they'd think I were a murderous. 

Maybe....I can mess with them.

How?

If this is someone who knows me.  It could give them ammo for gossip (which is what they want). 

If it is a robber, there would be too many obstacles to navigate.  They'd have to give up.  Hopefully, they'd scream or get caught on film for my YouTube Channel. 

I need to do a hypnosis video for getting over fear of the dark.  I couldn't imagine better footage than an asshat jumping my fence at 3:15 in the morning and camping out near the fence. 

Mess with me....I'll make you famous. 

I'll have to think about what to do. 

I can make it fun.



Maybe - if I continue to live here - I have to make this appear to be a bona fide haunted house.

Right now, all people have to be afraid of is the old female dog wielding the pink baseball bat in the middle of the night. 

If I get close enough to hit ya, the bat will hit you once but the reverberations from my arm fat will probably smack you around for several minutes.

That will be the stuff of nightmares.......especially if I have morning breath when I catch you breaking in. 

I know how to be hated. 

Love ya lots,

S. 

**Well, I got an answer from the police department when I hit the publish button. 

I am at my wit's end.  After what happened to my aunt and my niece.....I know my town is falling apart just like the rest of the Metro Area.

The stuff that happens here could be it random.  It could be continued stalking.  No one takes domestic issues/stalking seriously.

I already now what to do.  I'm making my home a freakish work of art. 

This will be awfully fun.

Greedy Liberals (With Edit)

Today I am thankful for clueless government employed lazy asshats who roll their eyes when you say ....

"This is unfair, I'm going to talk to my senator.  Where can I get more information so I know more about the issue before I start complaining?"  

They refer you to the internet without answering your questions in full. 

[Mua...ha...ha...ha...]


Today was my kiddo's 16th birthday.  I wasn't at home.

Nope... I gave my entire day to the government.

They're going to pay. 

I spent 3 hours at the local community college.  Yep, so three weeks ago, I noticed that my daughter got a letter from the community college.  She showed me the letter and it said she owed $1,027 due June 22nd in full. 

Alrighty then....kiddo isn't working.  I'm not working.  The debt has got to be paid so I'm on the hook.

I went to pay it and the school demanded $2,165.  I haven't seen another bill. 

I am afraid the number is going to go up from there without explanation.

I wanted to know what was up.  My daughter and I were given the run around.  The Registrar said she was dis-enrolled from all of her classes on February 14th, 2017 but she was still submitting coursework. 

The admin in the Registrar's office told me that many students are dis-enrolled without knowing about it.  I told her I'd write to my senator (who is on the education committee).  She ROLLED her eyes. I told her she was lucky.  It would probably take years before I'd sit in front of a congressional committee and tell them the story.  She'd be long gone by then. 

[Go on ahead and roll your eyes sweetie.....the train hasn't even begun to move down the track.]

The Financial Aid office and the Cashier said my daughter was an active student who had failed all of her classes.

I'm confused why the professors didn't say anything about her submitting assignments when she wasn't enrolled in the class.

Well, if her coursework wasn't being graded, why would she pass?

Was she enrolled?  Or wasn't she? 

If she was did-enrolled, I'd like to know why.  I'm reading online that many students with financial aid are being kicked out of their classes for non-payment (because the financial aid office is refusing to release the money on time).  I'm wondering if I can report that to a governing agency. 

This is beyond bizarre. 

They wanted the money by the end of business today -or- they'd bill me a 30% collection charge.  EDIT: Federal law limits the collection charges levied against student loans (money owed to schools are student loans and can't be bankrupted on) to 18.5%.  I've contacted the Federal Inspector General.  There are two other Federal regulations I suspect The Community College of Aurora of violating.  I'll try reaching out to the college first (again).  If they don't answer, I'll start by filing a Federal complaint.

Okay....not my debt.  I'm trying to be a good citizen.  I've got to be a good steward of taxpayer money even if I miss a mortgage payment and have to sell my house.

Whatever.....

They give me a stack of papers to fill out to file an appeal. 

After three hours of getting the run around, I went home to gather paperwork and wrote a scathing letter to my state senator and the local paper. 

That's when I see an article published today that stated that this school has been censured by the Professors Association for firing teachers who refuse to water down the coursework.

So...

Not only is the administration crazy - the classes are crap and professors are fired for trying to give students more bang for their buck.

I'm not appreciating the lesson I learned today. 

I returned to tell the administrators who I contacted (senator and paper) and my plans to out the bullshit

and they promised to help me make a payment plan for the debt.

They assured me that they would work a payment plan out with me since they didn't communicate anything about it.  They haven't even billed my daughter for the full amount they are demanding.

Do you want to know the payment plan?

I have to pay it right away. 

They put it on my credit card.  I pay it off every month.  It's an old card.  The interest rate has to be around 24%.

I feel lied to and betrayed. 

So....

I'm going to be broke when my payment is due.  That will be August 7th.  I've scrimped.  I saved.  I had $6,000 in savings to get me through my unemployment but this stupid school has tore me a new arse. 

What comes around.....goes around....I'm better at the ass chewing thing.

I got my start with my daughter.  I let her know.....

1.) Community college is a rip off.  Listen to your mom and go somewhere decent.  This is why enrollments are declining. I tried to tell her two years ago.  She didn't listen.  I hope she's hearing me now. 

Geesh!

2.) You're not saving money if tuition is $1,000 less a semester than the well acclaimed private college down the road.  If the cheap community college dis-enrolls you without telling you and then forces you to pay back your student aid with a 30% collection fee by using a credit card with 24% interest.....

you're better off going to the private college where

a.) you actually learn something,

b.) don't put off future employers who read that your community college has watered down the curriculum in the newspapers

and

c.) paying 4% interest on your student loan.

The worst thing I did for myself was go to Yelp, Facebook, Google and a variety of college rating websites and read the reviews. 

They dis-enroll people all the flippin' time!  They are chasing students away with their bad behavior!

They have no clue.

They're not paying their professors anything.

Where is all that money going? 

Why are they dis-enrolling students without notice?  What's the motivation?

Do they get more government funds doing that?

There has got to be a reason.

If there ever was an excuse to gut funding for the community college system in Colorado. 

THIS IS IT!

Lawmakers are always asking us to tell them why school is so expensive.

Schools play games to increase the money they rake in and drag out the length of the degree programs. 

It's costing the taxpayers a small mint.

*******

I walked by two homeless people sleeping on park benches and a dead dog on my way into the school's parking lot (both times!!). 

Of course, animal control won't pick up the dead dog (not their job).  Grrrr....what are we paying for?

Cities like to arrest homeless people rather than help them. Grrr...again....what the hell?

And I'm trying NOT to run for City Council.

I don't hear anyone else stepping up here.....

Trust me, I've been belting out all my bitchy badness. 

It's almost like the local politicos are the Borg. 

They assimilate each other and get stuck in groupthink.

*******
It gets worse!

Holy shit....

it actually gets worse.

This crap all happened within the past month.

My elderly aunt's car was hit by a hammer!!  Some guy tried to break into her house.  He couldn't get in and got frustrated and hit the windshield of her car in frustration.  She was home.  Cops won't do a thing.

This picture is the reason for my wrinkle cream addiction. 

I swear this is what Grandma looked like at 65! (sans the beard) I'm terrified....I'll be his doppelganger.  

My fourteen year old niece was mugged at gunpoint while walking with her friends.  The cops won't do a thing because they think the crime was committed by someone she knew.  My sister is almost as bitchy as me (we just run in different political circles).  She ran to the local King Soopers and told everybody she came into contact with. The store manager said that the same thing happened to one of his employees.  The perp had the same description.  The cops didn't do anything.

Yes, my sister and I do that - we tell everyone EVERYTHING.  We get our bitchy political trait from our grandmother. It comes from the Grant side. It skips every other generation and, as the Mormons have traced our family tree, one can find that it connects to Ulysses S. Grant (the slave owner president who was arguably worse than Trump but who could kick an army down while drunker than a skunk).

We don't drink so we're meaner. 

Things are going to Hades in a handbasket.

What does a community leader do?

I'm so pissed, I'm getting my angry wrinkle back.

My hair....I dyed it brown.  It's red again with a little white stripe (I'm lookin' kinda like Rogue - except I'm fatter).

I'm so mad it would probably be a mistake to touch me, too. 

This is annoying.

My peace is disturbed. 

Anger I can deal with anger.

Tears are another story. 

I nearly cried today when I read of other families going through this.  I asked one of the college administrators if students who were homeless or in the hospital could get coursework extentions.

I was told NO! 

They are automatically dis-enrolled.

This wasn't always the case.  I was a victim's advocate a long time ago.  Most community colleges gave extensions to crime victims or people in dire straights.

They've lost their compassion. 

I'm livid.

Dis-enrolling students puts them in default.  Any money owed to a school counts as a student loan. They can't enroll in any college until it is paid off.

For the battered woman or single father.....crime victim.....explain to me....

HOW IS THIS COMPASSION??

LAWMAKERS PROMISE THAT OUR TAXES ARE USED FOR COMPASSIONATE PURPOSES!!!

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT THEY PROMISE WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO RAISE THEM! 

THE MONEY WE PUT INTO HIGHER EDUCATION ALLEGEDLY HELPS THE POOR AND DOWNTRODDEN....

SO THEY SAY. 

IT'S A COMPASSIONATE THING THEY DO WITH OUR TAX DOLLARS ...they say....

WHERE IS THE COMPASSION HERE?

THERE IS NONE!!

The liberals are gettin' greedy. 

This is libertarian ammo to gut funding. 

I don't trust this institution.  I certainly don't trust the Colorado Department of Education or the Higher Education Commission because they're letting this shit happen. 

They are horrible stewards of our money. 

Education is not a bargain - especially if students are being automatically withdrawn and the college is not communicating about it.  This means that the student will have to pay twice to take the same courses.

Again, I'm reading about other people dealing with this in various online forums.  This school had to hire a Dean of Student Retention?  Why?

You know what.....I can't figure out how to contact him.

What good is he if he can't accept feedback about his institutions failures.

All this did was cement my political ideology. 

What do you want a bet I'll meet several people just as angry and I am? 

******

For me, it's a spiritual issue.

The Gods (or God) puts me in these situations to lead. They put me in these situations so that I can see what needs changed.

I am tired. 



I want to rise above it.  I like to think of my dream life as the Dam road.  It's a frontage road that I drive to and from my hypnosis office every day.  I look down and see all the idiots stuck on the freeway beneath me.  The video is of my view during rush hour.  The speed limit is 40.

This picture is of the highway beneath the damn road.  The highway is always packed.  People choose the highway because they can go faster; the speed limit is 65.  They rarely get to go 65.  They just sit there.  Staying off the highway saves me about 45 minutes each day. 

I want to rise above the fray and the crap.

I want to drive the quiet damn road that is my life while other people drive on the Highway to Hell. 

I can't let it go. 

This shit is being funded with my tax dollars.

Besides, after this crap, I won't be able to afford to eat for several months.

That means, I'll have a crabby tone to my political speeches.  Libertarian leaning folks don't get food stamps. 

It ticks me off....the neighbors with the least are getting the shaft.  They're getting stuck in government traffic.

I'd rather not spend my life arguing with people who feel entitled to waste other people's money.

I'd rather draw, paint....play bass...work three jobs so I could pay more taxes to lying liberals....

find someone wonderful and make love...

now I have to make war.

Story of my life......

I just wish people would stop lying and playing games.

It's annoying. 

Love ya,

S.

Pagan Sayings

Today I am thankful for Pagan clichés.

The Goddess does NOT visit a dirty house.

You do not invite Aphrodite into a filthy bedroom - but dirty minds are okay.

Lakshmi may not linger long in a dirty kitchen. It's important to keep your stove clean. 

Isis has been good to me despite the piles of clothes that used to surround her candle. 

Your altars and fireplaces must be pristine.

Even though the Goddesses do not like to be in dirty homes -

rodents and other pests do.

The girls found a dead mouse in a bedroom. 

I've spent the past 48 hours cleaning up mice poop.

It's an ordeal.

You have to cover your mouth,

put on gloves,

spray the poop with disinfectant,

wait 30 minutes,

clean it up,

and

throw away ANYTHING that touched the mice poop.

Since most of their clothes fell off of the hangers,

the girls do NOT have many clothes now.

They're going to be naked.

Just teasing......they outgrew most of the clothes anyway.

It's just a shame that I couldn't trust donating them.

I'm unsure I can get the creepy crawly microbes and germs off of them without bleaching them.

It's hard to bleach blue jeans and Deadpool T-shirts.

******

Like a prince on a white horse,

a young man rang the doorbell.

The two oldest teenagers answered.

The guy was selling pest repellant services.

After four teenage girls spent the day confined to one of our three bathrooms, they were sold on his services.

The bathroom in the basement has ants.

The bathroom on the main level tends to attract wasps.

The girls did such a great job selling the service to me, the salesman offered them jobs. 

They declined.

******

For $109.00, I had the house sprayed.

The guy even managed to remove two huge wasp nests on the awning.

He said that they were not active, thankfully.  I'd hate to have a guest chased around by a swarm of pissed off wasps. 

He removed four other wasp nests; two on the garage door and two that were in the BBQ (which means we can eat sooty chicken and burgers in a couple of weeks - woo hoo).

He's coming back in three months so we can prepare a defense against the mice should they return.

*****
When he left, I realized that he must've been a very patient person.
He must have had the patience of a saint.

I didn't notice -but- we all have our bras hanging in the laundry room to dry. 

You don't put nice undies in the dryer.

They probably smacked him in the head.  He didn't say a peep about it.

He didn't laugh at the Artemis decoration or the Apollo altar (which had attracted a bunch of spiders).

Spiders represent Dionysus's wife Ariadne as they weave mystical tales.  It's hard for us to kill spiders.

He didn't question the wine dutifully set out to Dionysus or the wine on Aphrodite's altar.

He was quite professional.

I've actually had people run out of this house freaked out due to my Buddha by the front door and the pentagram around my neck.

He didn't.

In fact, I told him that we were cleaning up the house so we could have parties.

He smiled and said it looked like a party house.

He's right.

The house, especially the kids' rooms, look like a dormitory!

That was a fun spin on everything. 

I left him a 5-star Yelp Review.

*******
Last month, we had the Vietnam Veteran charity pick up 16 bags of things left in the basement.

Friday, they will pick up 30 more.

I'm still not done cleaning everything up.

There is too much. 

I'm probably going to have to rent a dumpster.

Someday - Someday soon - I hope to be able to invite people over.

It'll be fun to have a normal dinner party someday.

Change takes a long time sometimes.

It can be a daunting process.

It will be well worth it when the time comes. 

I'd best get back at it.

I sure hope Mickey doesn't come back. 

Love ya,

S. 

.






 

Guilt

Today I am thankful for a wake up call.

I have two 30 year high school reunions this year.

I attended one school in a very small town until the tenth grade.  My teachers were amazing.  They actually arranged to pick me up from my foster homes throughout the city and drive me to this school in this small town each and every day.

This is probably why I try to buy extra school supplies each and every year. 

I was once voted the second ugliest girl in school.

I was in the eighth grade.

It hurt a little bit but not too much.

I had friends.

These friends would help me out.  They made sure I wasn't alone at lunch.  They tutored me. 

My mother didn't care about my appearance.  My friends had their mothers do my hair.

I lived in a Latino town.

My hair had height!

But.....my mom didn't like the photos.

I loved it.

I wanted, more than anything, to learn Spanish.

I took three years of it.

I can never sound as beautiful as the kids I went to school with.

There were a couple of boys that I was close to growing up.

Scott B. 

My name was Sheila A.  We always sat together, year.....after year. 

He became a nightclub owner. When I was down and out, he offered me a job as an exotic dancer.

I turned it down.  I have too many body image issues to be happy flinging my clothes every which way.

It was a very kind gesture on his part. 

Sean K. 

For some reason we tended to always sit across the aisles from each other....year...after year.

He owns a restaurant near my old office.  I try to promote his business to my friends in the area.

He's the one that taught me to be a realist. 

He let me in on a secret.  Santa Claus wasn't real....

neither was the Easter Bunny.

My parents were just cheap!!!

Sean also taught me that cooking was gross.

Bread dough.....we decided....felt like a human leg.  We were in the third grade.

I don't like to knead dough.  It's strange that he became the chef.

In seventh grade, I always wore a big ribbon in my hair.  Sean helped me stop the habit.  He told me it looked like I had a toothache.

Sean is still funny.  He missed his calling.  He should have been a stand up comedian. 

sigh.....

Then there was Brian F.  In my eyes, he always looked like an angel.  His hair was white...his eyes were blue....and he always had a smile on his face and a book in his hand.

He was so very kind to me.

After I moved away, I'd visit the mall where he worked.  I once modeled for a department store at the mall and would run into him from time to time.  He worked at the pet store.

He comforted me when Tom and I broke up. He met my daughter when she was a baby.

He was always there.....until the mall closed.

He found me on Facebook.  We keep in touch every few years.

They had a class reunion today.

I didn't go.

I was sexually assaulted by a friend of my sister at the age of 17.  After I learned the identity of my attacker, I learned that his brother was in my graduating class.

I have never gone to a reunion at this school because I didn't want to face anyone who looked like my attacker.

I make other excuses, too. This weekend, I had several hypnosis clients.  There was the pride parade.  I do have a foster child living with me.  I fear for her mental health.  I didn't want to leave her alone.

It was father's day.  Michael may have wanted to see the kids.

I was better of staying home.....right?

I received a text message about ten minutes ago.  Brian....flew all the way out here....and was disappointed that I did not show up.  He reminded me that life is short.  There isn't a lot of time to waste.

I missed my chance.

He's going home tomorrow. 

*****

Tomorrow is the last day to buy tickets for the reunion from the school I graduated from.  I don't want to go alone.  I'm trying to avoid a man who hit on me despite being married.

When I go to the school, all I think about is Tom.  The last time I toured the school, the locker that he smacked is head into still had a dent in it.  He smacked his head into the locker because I was sad.  It was within days of my step-father's suicide in 1986,  

The last time I visited the high school was in 2007.

I started to cry.  That's when people started to recognize me.

I guess I had raccoon eyes growing up - or- I cried too damn much.

I could feel Tom. 

It just made me run out of that place in tears.

I don't want to remember some things. 

I don't want to go alone. 

If I go, I'm thinking that I should buy an extra set of tickets and invite someone else.

Part of me just wants to sit it out.

I am in pain.

I don't want to share my pain. 

All I do is cry.

The dreams probably have something to do with it.

I don't understand how my subconscious mind works. 

Dreams aren't real.

They're just dreams.

They feel real. 

They feel like I'm living in a different world.  I've had these dreams since 2004. Maybe it is a parallel universe. 

In this world....  I'm married.  I'm happy.  I'm living in Chicago of all places.  I have a doctorate.  I teach psychology.  I've written books.

I even see the face of the man I'm married to in this dream world.  In my dreams, he picks on me in a playful fashion.  I see his bicycle.  The paint in the condo is beige.  We have little furniture.  It's tan.  There is a rug on the floor.  The windows are tall.  He proudly displays my Ph.D. on the wall and reminds me that his contribution is the most important part - my name.

I laugh.  We talk about the girls.....and a boy and laugh.  We talk about efforts to find Michael as he has disappeared and we are trying to find him so he can attend his daughter's wedding. 

The dream always ends with this man tickling me and making fun of my middle name (which is funny....it's a guy's name).

I wake up.......and none of it is real.

I wake up in my bed....with the green quilt....my companion cube.....my tablet.....my book of shadows (or journal if you'd prefer to call it that)....my glasses.... a picture of Jesus being held by a saint..... and tissues next to me.

I can see my Peavey T-40.....my laptop and my microphone.

There are dresses hanging off of my canopy bed.  On that note, I am happy that I've gotten over my fear of wearing dresses.  I'm wearing about five each week.  I stopped wearing them when someone grabbed me and made a mess on my leg.

This is my life.  It is nowhere near my dream world.

It is a safer life.  I don't have to open myself up to anyone in this world.

I don't have to fear being hit.....or stalked.

Maybe the dreams are just possibilities that I have to decide if I want.

They are not real.

I spend 1/3 of my day dreaming about a fantasy life that isn't real.

When the man in those dreams steps forward in real life, I always run away from him......always.

I fear him.  I literally fear something that I can't quite grasp.

Maybe I don't want to live in Chicago (just kidding).

Yes, I have dreams about running away from him, too. 

The shrinks would tell me that each person in the dreams is a part of my psyche.  The man I'm supposed to be married to is my animus and yada...yada...yada.

I guess my dream doctorate would be in Jungian practice.  Those are offered in California.

*****

Maybe I'm wrong to hide.

Maybe Brian is right.

Life is too damn short to keep sitting out.....to stay asleep....to think of things that aren't real.

He's trying to get me to go to the hypnosis conference this August.

I don't go because I fear the stalking.  I don't want to leave the kids home alone when I'm off gallivanting in another town.

Maybe I should go....

It's near his home. 

I'll think about it.

To be quite honest about it, I don't want to go. 

It hurts too much.

My business.....I don't advertise because I fear the harassment.

I don't want to go to my reunion.  My hometown reminds me of stalking and relationship failure. 

I'll stay away.

I just need to find something else to do. 

Please don't be like me....afraid to live. 

Please life each day of your life to its fullest.

Love ya,

S.