Today I am thankful for my pink baseball bat, my Glock and my mace.
Nothing scares me.
I collect allegedly haunted artifacts. I'd be a ghost researcher if I had more time.
It's not really that important to me. It seems more important for me to keep the living from living life as though they were dead.
*******
I collect allegedly haunted artifacts. I'd be a ghost researcher if I had more time.
It's not really that important to me. It seems more important for me to keep the living from living life as though they were dead.
*******
I ran down stairs in my silk robe and couldn't find anything.
I failed to check the garage.
This morning, I saw that SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE GARAGE through an unused blue door leading into the backyard!
That is IT!
I'm going to war.
I know the cops won't care. I took a picture of the scene and left the police department a message on Facebook asking if they cared to know where and when this took place to help them analyze crime trends.
They didn't give a shit when my locks were broken.
I don't think they care now.
My door didn't shut easily, something must've broke. I had to throw my entire body weight against the door to shut it.
I'll have to fix that before I sell the property.
I'm quickly getting to the point of incredible anger.
I'm a heck of a lot of fun when I'm angry.
I'll find a way to deal with the troublemakers. It'll be worth the laugh for everyone else.
Love ya,
S.
LATE NIGHT EDIT: I haven't heard back from the local police department**. They really don't care. They never have. I mean, I don't have anything expensive. I'm not important or a victim. They're not going to do anything great by preventing crime on my property.
They seem incredibly busy. They also seem to be moonlighting as Code Enforcement officers. The population has exploded and it seems like the crime rate has skyrocketed, not only in Aurora but Denver, too.
Last month, my daughter was hit by a drunk driver and she waited for the Denver Police Department for an hour and they never showed up to the accident scene. Luckily she works in law and defends people against DUI. She knew what evidence to collect. The drunk driver didn't go to jail. There was no one to stop him from driving home. There is no way to protect future victims from him -but- at least she could prove that she wasn't at fault for the accident.
At least Denver Dispatch called her to tell her that an officer wasn't going to make it anytime soon and to file an accident report online.
Cops are busy. We have to be responsible for our own safety.
Since the last time someone tried to break in, I've been bracing the doors and windows with wooden chairs and metal poles.
It's impossible for anyone to get in or out of this house at night.
I'm more afraid of the guy who comes into my yard in the middle of the night than I am of fire.
I don't know if this guy is random -or- one of my ex's relatives.
I really wish the camera installer would finish the job.
We'll see.
If this were random, I'm sure someone else in the neighborhood had the same experience and made a report.
I did take pictures. I'm incredibly lucky. I still had the 30 bags and boxes of donations packed around the garage door. No one could get to the house entrance from the door that was busted in without moving them. They are huge!
Even then.....he (or they) weren't getting inside because I had the door braced.
I'm wondering......
this is a joke.....
kind of.....
if one of my thousands of allegedly haunted objects are real......
couldn't I arrange them in such a way to creep visitors out?
I'm wondering......
Can I give the appearance of living in a haunted house?
Can I use my hobby to spook asshats?
It's something to think about.
I mean...a caldron is nothing but a dutch oven.
I have several of those.
I have demented looking statues.
I can always hang strung cotton and huge, real looking spiders.
I wonder.....what would a haunted house look like?
What would it feel like?
What would give idiots the hee-bee jee-bees?
Maybe I should watch more horror flicks and stop oiling the gate so it creaks and moans.
The neighbors say this guy is hoping the fence.
A cop said that in 2011, too.
Maybe I can put something strange around the fence that would feel.....creepy....when fallen into.
It can't smell.
It can't be ugly.
It can't be poisonous (so no MayApple).
It can't be a noxious weed.
Maybe it could be scratchy?
Could I....buy manikins and tear off the limbs and bury them so the hands stick out of the ground?
That wouldn't work, they'd think I were a murderous.
Maybe....I can mess with them.
How?
If this is someone who knows me. It could give them ammo for gossip (which is what they want).
If it is a robber, there would be too many obstacles to navigate. They'd have to give up. Hopefully, they'd scream or get caught on film for my YouTube Channel.
I need to do a hypnosis video for getting over fear of the dark. I couldn't imagine better footage than an asshat jumping my fence at 3:15 in the morning and camping out near the fence.
Mess with me....I'll make you famous.
I'll have to think about what to do.
I can make it fun.
Maybe - if I continue to live here - I have to make this appear to be a bona fide haunted house.
Right now, all people have to be afraid of is the old female dog wielding the pink baseball bat in the middle of the night.
If I get close enough to hit ya, the bat will hit you once but the reverberations from my arm fat will probably smack you around for several minutes.
That will be the stuff of nightmares.......especially if I have morning breath when I catch you breaking in.
I know how to be hated.
Love ya lots,
S.
**Well, I got an answer from the police department when I hit the publish button.
I am at my wit's end. After what happened to my aunt and my niece.....I know my town is falling apart just like the rest of the Metro Area.
The stuff that happens here could be it random. It could be continued stalking. No one takes domestic issues/stalking seriously.
I already now what to do. I'm making my home a freakish work of art.
This will be awfully fun.
