Skip to main content

Progress



Today I am thankful for progress.



Now, I don't write about this often -but-

when I was a homeless teen, I was rescued by a gay man and his boyfriend.  They helped me get an apartment, find a job and saw me off to school each and every day.

I think the motivation was to do something for me that they wish had been done for them.

They were both thrown out of their childhood homes for being gay.

I'm trying to return the favor and keep a promise I made to myself when I was seventeen.

Now, I am sharing my space with a young woman who was thrown out of the house for being a lesbian.

Her father came over here screeching at me because I'm allegedly "a man-hating lesbian."

Just because I don't want to kiss....doesn't make me gay...ugh!

I used to be an academic.  My research and writing is in social science and psychology (e.g. the use of altered states of consciousness to deal with anxiety and stress). 

Bitch about me in words that I can understand.  

Say "Misandric Homosexual"

To call me a lesbian is to guess my gender. 

Truth is, I'm neither.  I'm Asexual.

I have a shadow form of OCD (not enough to be diagnosed). 

Good sex is messy and I haven't find anyone worth washing the sheets over. 

I don't hate all men.

I just hate assholes. 

*****
There are times when I can convince this young lady that her father misses her.  She'll start to say nice things about him.  She'll consider visiting with him. 

And he'll want her to come home

-and-

wait for it

he'll fuck it up. 

He'll get angry and tell her that he's turning her room into a shoe rack, another office or something else.....

He'll do something to alienate her.

You can't coach the un-coachable.

She spent the weekend with his family.  She panicked at the thought of visiting with him.  She came home in tears.  She's not leaving her room. 

I'm being told that he doesn't want her to come home.  He wants me to care for his daughter while he collects child support from his ex-wife. 

It's a game. 

He's going to lose the prize - he's messing up his relationship with his daughter.

He'll leave me phone messages wanting Susan to call him. 

Who is Susan?

Maybe I'm Susan? 

The last time he came over here in huff, he was afraid I'd ask his daughter to pay rent.  I haven't asked for a dime.  He wants his daughter to pay rent to him (even though she's not living there).

I think this guy needs money. 

******

We have a friend of the family who is trans.

She has recently moved just a few blocks from the apartment I had in Capital Hill.  The one I shared with Sampson.  The one where the cops would harass me and threaten my gay friends.

She lives within blocks of the school I where I studied music.  Where my friends let me play bass with their band (the friends who opened for George Jones....no I didn't share the stage).

Today, I took my daughter to the school where I studied music and I was floored by the size of their campus.

Holy crap, it's four times the size it was thirty years ago!

She loves it. 

I do the mom thing - I talk to everybody. 

She went on a tour of the school.  I went around talking to anyone who wanted to chat.

I spoke to the guy in admissions; 

the staff of the financial aid (who have heard similar stories to what my daughter endured at the community college and that's why 60% of their student body are transfer students - yes, I laughed when I heard the statistic);

the clerk at the commissary and I talked about the ghosts that inhabit the student center;

and an older gentleman sitting outside the library.

I took pictures.

I didn't make it to the arts or the psychology department. I know one of the professors in the psychology department and another in the philosophy department. 

It was fun.

After we filled out the admissions paperwork, I took my kiddo on a tour of Capital Hill.

I pointed out the Colorado Education Association building,

the building where the senators offices are,

the Masonic Temple,

the capital,

the best book store on the planet,

the place you can get the best gyros in town,

and Queen Soopers. 

As I drove around I remembered another assault I experienced in Denver by cops James and Miller.  They once tackled me on Ninth and Downing by a newspaper box.

Sampson was arrested.  

I don't know why.

I didn't have to bail him out.

I wonder why I forgot that?

I remember they pushed me onto grass.  Grass didn't hurt as much as the pavement at 12th and pearl.

It's weird what we forget as time passes.

Sadly, our trans friend was hit in the face walking down the street a few days ago.  She's too afraid to go to the police.  We have to get her some pepper spray. 

Maybe I should see if a friend would like to teach her some self defense moves?

As much as things change, some horrible things stay the same.

Sigh.....

*******
Then I came home to read about The Supreme Court hearing the Masterpiece Cake Shop case.

This was a Denver baker who refused to bake a seven layer rainbow cake with teal and red icing for a gay couple from Massachusetts.  The couple hasn't been very polite about it.

I'm Pagan.  This guy won't bake a cake depicting Dionysus for me.

You know what, that's okay!

When I point out the Constitutional problem of forcing artists to create unique works of art that they don't agree with, I get called a religious nut that hates gays.

Um.....seriously? 

Do they have any clue how many Pagan Gods are gay? 

I'm a child of Apollo (born on Sep. 7th).  My house is a shrine to Artemis.  Dionysus is my Patron God.

You've got to be freakin' kidding me. 

They're acting like spoiled children with the death threats and all -

I've stopped giving money to LGBTQ causes.

I'll just help whoever I can whenever I can.

Oh, and drive my pride parade float around town.

******
All in all it was a busy day.

My kiddo is in the process of being accepted into a real university.

I'm trying to figure out how to gather the money to pay the inept (and potentially fraudulent) community college.

The feds reached out to me today to talk about filing a fraud complaint.

I posted about the ordeal on social media.  Someone at the Community College saw it and the school called me.

I know how it goes with government entities;

they make excuses,

they lie through their teeth,

it's probably best just to file the complaint and explain all four areas of concern and submit it.

I'll let the feds sort it out.

A university is going to be a heck of a lot cheaper than putting the tuition of a community college on a credit card.  The community college can't seem to igure out what in the world they are doing with financial aid -and- they have a tendency to dis-enroll students after the withdrawal deadline without notice or reason (they're not saying why they did that).

That's fraud.

My daughter enrolled in eight classes over the course of the past year.  They withdrew her from five of them. We didn't know this until the end of the semester.  She was submitting assignments!!!

Why in the heck didn't the professors tell her????

No matter....

I was assured this wouldn't happen at the university. 

I never finished my degree there.  My music mentor died the morning of the first day of classes (he had a heart attack).  I finished the first year and transferred to another school. 

My nephew and aunt have degrees from this school.  They're happy with them. 

We'll see if my kiddo likes it. 

We had a busy day today.

Tomorrow, my job hunt begins anew.

Love ya lots,

S.










Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out