Today I am thankful for divorce
(and 9 black candles with clove oil).
I'm getting hassled by code enforcement....again. Someone was in my back yard and complained about the trash on my deck. No one can see the trash containers unless they are standing on the deck.
The deck encompasses the back door leading into the kitchen.
This is the door that had the broken locks.
I spent the night trying to talk to my ex to try to get a sense of whether or not he knew who was complaining.
I'm thinking that if I can get the name of the complainant, it may actually give us proof of the stalking and give me the identity of the person who broke our locks.
After six hours, he said that his brother likes to pick locks and noted that every apartment that I've rented had damaged locks.
He told me that if he didn't give his family members keys, they would damage my locks.
So, it would appear they have been breaking in my homes since before we were married!!
Creepy....
He doesn't know why his sister is harassing me.
He admitted to lying to his family about me. Apparently, he has told them details of my life that I didn't know about. They knew about our sex life, my former boyfriends, my hobbies, my education, my hopes and my dreams.
Creepy...
He doesn't know why they stalked me at work or at school.
He doesn't know why I caught his sister trying to break into the house.
Then he bitched at me telling me that he was not going to pay alimony because I needed to get a "damn job."
The funny thing about that is that this is what the City Attorney said he told his boss right before she fired him.
I didn't believe Donnielle at the time but maybe she was telling the truth.
Maybe he was bragging about being abusive to me.
Oh, geez....I know I went to bat for her when she lied and claimed he threw me into the wall (because I thought it was her working through a past trauma with her abusive ex). I threatened the HR guy with exposure if he fired her over it. He broke a couple of laws.
Maybe Donnielle and the City Attorney were going to bat for me, too.
Him yelling at me and threatening me with money was exceptionally hard to take.
This is something that has happened a lot over the past fifteen years. I get a job opportunity and I end up stalked or threatened. My car gets taken from me. I'm used to it.
He told me that he plays with money and gets financially controlling to keep me here.
This month, I hit the scene hard. I enrolled in a job training program and the next day, my ex took my car.
In fact, he had both cars.
After a couple of weeks, I found myself suspending my job search to take on activities solely meant to help him keep his job (e.g. letting him take my vehicle to and from work, doing his laundry, cleaning up after him, tending to him when he had the stomach flu, packing food for him, making his dinner, finding a doctor to see him because he wrenched his knee, trying to budget for his car repairs and a surgery he wants, providing unpaid child care, and anything else that can help him keep his job until the transportation situation improves).
This was supposed to be temporary until he fixed his car and I could resume my job search activities.
Why should I help him if he refuses to help me?
Tonight he became violent about my alleged laziness.
I am terrified right now.
His behavior is scaring me.
I can't pinpoint why.
It just scares me.
I may end up leaving him with the house and taking the kids to a battered women's shelter.
I hate to do that but maybe it is time to ask for attorney fees so I can push this divorce through.
Something is wrong here.
I will do a banishing spell...again.
I am terrified.
Love ya,
S.