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Anger

Today I am thankful for my anger. 

My ex needs my car.  He claims that he blew the engine on his car last Friday.  I spent the entire afternoon rescuing him.

Here is the deal, I have not seen the broken down car. 

He asked me to pick him up for work.  I did.  The car wasn't there. 

I don't know where the car is. 

He asked me to pick him up from work knowing full well that I had a political event that afternoon. 

My thinking? 

Well....I'm pretty sure that he's punishing me for taking Steve to a school board meeting.  I also think he is trying to make it hard for me to get a job. 

His story is that he knew he needed to replace the timing belt.  He refused and his engine is toast.  I asked him to have a mechanic look at the car.  My dad was a mechanic, I have knack for knowing something is wrong with a car by the way it sounds and smells.  That car sounded like a snare drum and it smelled like burning rubber. 

What he doesn't know is that my van smells like it needs a new fuel pump.  I told him but he ignores me.  That'll be a surprise for him if I don't get my car back. 

If he knew his car was broken down and that he needed mine, would he have tried to get it repaired over the weekend?  Why wait until Sunday night to tell me he needs a new engine and needs to take my vehicle?

I think he's lying to me about something. 

The reason? 

First, he won't give me honest eye contact.  He'll glare.  He won't look at me. 

If I question him, he runs off into the basement and refuses to anser. 

This has happened before.

Every time I get a job or an opportunity, he takes my vehicle.

He works 60 miles away from the house.  My car gets less than 15 miles to the gallon.  I don't think he can afford the gas.

I was supposed to go to the courthouse tomorrow and file my papers.  The courthouse is on the edge of a rural area.  I'm not sure a bus goes to that location. 

I'll check. 

I bet he lied when he said he'd file the paperwork for our divorce.  This is the bankruptcy all over again. It took him 18 months to file the paperwork.

I should call the lawyer. 

I am supposed to go to the job search center in order to take advantage of an opportunity.  A coach offered to help me tailor my resume.

The bus ride is two hours long. I'm going to have to take money from his coin collection for bus fare unless I can find $4.50 in the couch cushions.

It's not as bad as it sounds.  His coin collection consists of coins that are currently in circulation and not in the best of shape.  I can replace it with a $10 roll of quarters. 

I am seething 

Every time I get an opportunity, that man takes my van.

I paid for it out of student loan money.  That man never helps me buy anything I need.  I have to get creative to afford the things I want. 

And when I have it, he takes it.

He says it is just a coincidence that his car allegedly broke down when I started to look for work.

I think NOT!

This happens too much.

Damn it!!

I know he could catch a ride with numerous coworkers who live in our neighborhood.  I'm sure they would love to have someone to talk to on the ride and someone to contribute gas money to the cause. 

I should have listened to the therapist. 
I should have listened to the lawyers. 
I should have listened to the cops.
I should have listened to the ladies who ran against me during the campaign.  One of them is a domestic violence counselor.

This is why everyone told me to get rid of him and make sure he moves out of the house.   That man is going to make it impossible for me to hold a job.

What do I do?

Love ya,

S.

Edit 4:46 p.m.

What I did was strike up a conversation with a bus driver.

The computer schedule was wrong.  It had me spend an hour going in a box like pattern which left me two blocks from where I began.  The bus stop wasn't where it was supposed to be and I arrived at my destination five minutes later, even though I had left thirty minutes earlier than I needed to leave.

I had to reschedule for tomorrow.

I met a guy who works with Call-A-Ride.  He got me home in 90 minutes by going a completely different route.  The bus took a little over two and a half hours.

If I had known that the #F line went to the same place the #E line goes, I could have been home in 45 minutes.

I know now.  

The driver told me to take Light Rail. Steve showed me the Light Rail System and that helped because it gave me a familiarity of the names of the stations.

Thanks to that, I wasn't completely lost.

My feet have welts on them.

I am sunburned.

I am angry.

I also know how to get to the courthouse, thanks to my new friend with RTD.  It's the #66.  It'll drop me off at the front door!!

My ex can keep my car and kiss my ass.

I don't care anymore.

I want him out of my life for good!






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