Today I awoke to find my vehicle in the garage.
I ran errands and set up seven appointments with potential employers. I'm going to leave for the courthouse in fifteen minutes.
Life seems to be good.
I checked my email.
I finally got around to checking a rarely used email account. There was a message from my ex.
He is trying to paint himself out as a hero for riding the bus. It took several hours. He had to walk. He raided all the funds from the change bucket yet he complained that he didn't have enough bus fare.
What do you want to bet that he's going to want to use my van until I
1.) sign a statement allowing him to raid the retirement accounts so he can "repair" his car
2.) cancel all those job interviews why he waits for the repairs because he'll need my van.
I don't understand why he can't catch a ride with someone in our neighborhood. He works with the guy the owns the convenience store down the street!!! Another co-worker lives three blocks away. His wife works at the local grocery store!! I used to babysit her daughter after school!
My ex has a flexible schedule. Why can't he utilize that until he can solve the problem?
He likes the problems.
Ugh....the bus thing is another attempt at getting narcissistic supply, isn't it?
This is why one of us has got to move out of the house.
I need to go minimal contact.
He's probably whining about me making him take bus.
He's always lying about me.
He told his mother that our middle child was aborted. We celebrate her twelfth birthday on Saturday. I don't know where I'm going to get the money for her present.
His mother still harasses me over that lie. One would think the birth announcement would have cleared that up. It didn't. I still get nasty phone messages and anti-abortion literature left on my doorstep in the wee hours of the night.
There are many other lies, too.
Last year, he told me that I had broken his nose a few years before.
He doesn't know when I did that
or why he didn't seek medical attention
or call the police
or do any number of things normal people do when assaulted.
It's a game.
I'm going to pay for this. I think he's playing the martyr game. I hate the martyr game.
I did give him my van but asked to have the broken car so I could have a vehicle when our divorce was final. The car in good shape. The van is on its last legs. I can get it fixed after the divorce is final and I can work again without harassment.
I think he wants to cause trouble.
I think he wants to do the opposite of what I feel compelled to do.
It's weird.
When Steve left, my ex started cooperating with me. When I told him that I wasn't interested in anyone else, he filled out the divorce petition and promised to take down to the courthouse. He even paid for my divorce lawyer.
Steve came back, my ex sat on the paperwork and tried to kiss me.
Now that I have job prospects, he wants my car.
When I give up the job training program, I'll get it back.
He likes the drama.
It's annoying.
I can't wait to get out of here.
Love,
S.
Edit: 7:20 p.m.
I went to the courthouse and decided against the restraining order. If I do it as part of the divorce, it will impede the relationship my ex has with the kids.
If I file it separately, it will be an entirely different process. I'm thinking that Shannon and Doug will leave me alone once the divorce is final. If they don't, they will go to jail because it will no longer be a family issue.
At this moment in time, my ex is on his sixth hour of riding the bus. It's a 3.5 hour trip each way.
Now, he's open to transportation options. He found a co-worker to take him to and from work. He's open to looking at my job search schedule and working around it.
So, I guess his martyr move may have paid off for both of us.
I'm looking into ways to fund his "repairs" or whatever it is that makes him want to take my van. The promise is that if I do that for him, he will have my beat up old van checked out for problems. I just need it to last one year. I can save up for another car in a year.
We'll see if he keeps his end of the bargain. If he doesn't, I'll just petition the court for his car. I don't want it.
I don't even want the house but the kids need to stay here. He doesn't want to be the custodial parent, so...I guess I have to figure out how to repair everything.
I'm going to have to slow down and take everything one step at a time.
I have until July 24th to figure out who gets what.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
I am so thankful that other people are helping me chunk this down into manageable pieces.
Love ya,
S.