Skip to main content

Time Moves

Today I am thankful that times moves on. 

Sometimes it moves far too slowly. 

Sometimes the delays kill me. 

The divorce documents are signed. 

I deliver them to the court on Wednesday. 

I am happy about that!

I just looked them over and am incredibly unhappy. 

My ex wants the final decree entered on January 2, 2014 so that he saves a bundle on taxes.  He promised to share the refund with me. 

I'll let him. 

He gave me the house and an IRA in exchange for an alimony waiver.  That was incredibly generous.

I guess this is the least that I can do. 

I fear that saving my ex thousands of dollars will probably cost me the only thing I really truly want. 


*****

As much as I think I should run away from my friend,

my love for him always brings me back. 

I don't like it when he hurts.  I hate thinking he's worried.  I hate thinking that he's feeling like I treat him as someone who is not equal to me.  I just hate the thought of him being alone and hurting.

All I want to do is really hug him

-and-

really console him.

The more I think about it, he is the only one person I want.  I'd rather be alone than with anyone else.

As much as I want him, we have that scruple thing is hanging over our heads. 

It looks like the divorce just stretched out another three months. 

I don't think I can take this much longer. 

This sucks...

It is not what I want to be sucking. 

Thankfully, I've stocked up on lollipops. 

Love ya,

S. 

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

Venus Meditations

  Today I am thankful for my new realization.  In my world, Friday is the day of love (reminds of The Cure - lol).  It's true.  Friday is the day of Venus.  Exhausted as I was after work, I went to my altar and lit a candle asking that my friend find whatever his life is lacking. Then I went upstairs and did my Friday night ritual to Aphrodite.  I lit a candle asking that I gain confidence in my ability to love.  I also ask that I recognize true love.  I was too exhausted to linger so I tried to fall asleep.  Have you been too tired to sleep?  It's horrible.  Your mind goes round and round -  you might recall things that happened recently (like the doctor telling me to be careful because I haven't hit menopause yet and I say, "not worried about it" while thinking that it's a good time to be in a sexual drought - hooray for me),  or things going on at work  (that I can hypnotize little cranky babies to sleep without sa...
Read more

My Competition

Only our best friends and greatest teachers will have the courage to say those uncomfortable things to help us get out of the mud and back on our paths.   Today I am thankful for my competition. I love being a hypnotist because I have the most wonderful colleagues in the world. I bought a refresher Stop Smoking Hypnosis Course from another hypnotist trainer.  I bought it because I'm too lazy to create my own business forms.  It comes with the forms.  Usually, I can't read anything this man writes without learning something new.  I figured that I couldn't go wrong investing in his products.  I received the package yesterday.  It was supposed to contain four CDs. I received five.  Do you want to guess what the fifth one was?  It was a hypnosis session entitled "Overcome Your Lost Love." I'm a little bit tickled at that discovery. This is perfect!!! I love this guy's voice.   This is the mo...
Read more