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Time Moves

Today I am thankful that times moves on. 

Sometimes it moves far too slowly. 

Sometimes the delays kill me. 

The divorce documents are signed. 

I deliver them to the court on Wednesday. 

I am happy about that!

I just looked them over and am incredibly unhappy. 

My ex wants the final decree entered on January 2, 2014 so that he saves a bundle on taxes.  He promised to share the refund with me. 

I'll let him. 

He gave me the house and an IRA in exchange for an alimony waiver.  That was incredibly generous.

I guess this is the least that I can do. 

I fear that saving my ex thousands of dollars will probably cost me the only thing I really truly want. 


*****

As much as I think I should run away from my friend,

my love for him always brings me back. 

I don't like it when he hurts.  I hate thinking he's worried.  I hate thinking that he's feeling like I treat him as someone who is not equal to me.  I just hate the thought of him being alone and hurting.

All I want to do is really hug him

-and-

really console him.

The more I think about it, he is the only one person I want.  I'd rather be alone than with anyone else.

As much as I want him, we have that scruple thing is hanging over our heads. 

It looks like the divorce just stretched out another three months. 

I don't think I can take this much longer. 

This sucks...

It is not what I want to be sucking. 

Thankfully, I've stocked up on lollipops. 

Love ya,

S. 

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