Options

Today I am thankful for options, although I do now know what mine are at the moment.

 

 

It would appear that that a certain divorce judge in the 18th Judicial district has added another tile to the crazy man's dance floor.

 

 

Yeah....they lost his parenting class certificate.  He didn't make a copy.   

 

I know they got it because I took it down to the courthouse.  I had the clerk sign off on it.  I had written the divorce case number on the upper right hand corner of the original certificates as I turned them into the court. 

 

 

They lost both of them. 

 

They also lost my filing fee!  I'm not too happy about that. 

 

 

I have a copy of my parenting class certificate...not his. 

 

He refuses to pay the $10 to have the parenting class coordinator make him a copy. 

 

Too bad...so sad for me...I have to stay married now and continue to get stalked. 

 

Nice!!!  NOT!!!

 

Yes...the court has been promising to dismiss the divorce action since the Initial Status Conference.  They say that they do that when people fail to communicate. 

 

This is music to my ex's ears. 

 

They sent a letter on Friday claiming we never turned in the parenting class certificates and threatened to dismiss the divorce action. 

 

He is so happy! 

 

Therapy is no longer an option. 

 

He's not talking to me. 

 

He's not cooperating. 

 

I'm screwed. 

Unless I can get him a girlfriend.  If he gets laid, he'll leave.

****scheming **** 

Yeah, I can't do that without behaving unethically. 

It sucks being ethical.

 

 

So, besides bitching out my Senator and Congressman while simultaneously threatening their re-election bids - what are my options? 

 

1. I can run for office and threaten to dismantle this parenting class/mediation industry after I win.  In the community, I look stellar having been married for most of my adult life.  He and his family are everywhere I go.  I look like I have an entourage. 

 

Maybe I'd win.

 

Really...the mediator wanted me to give my stalker access to my home every day and be legally mandated to cook him dinner on Sundays, Thanksgiving, and Christmas!  Crap...I spend less time with him married than I would divorced!!

 

The legal system is flippin' insane!!

 

2.  I can upload the paperwork to a website and make the judge look like an uneducated fool and ask people to vote against him when he's up for re-election.  County judges are retained as per the will of the voters. 

 

3. I can move to a different and more organized county for 90 days and file for a new divorce there.

 

4. I can change my name, my appearance, work under the table and hide.  I did this once before.  I can do it again. 

 

5. I can do what I did before.  I can stay married and never be home when my ex is here.  The problem with that, though, is that he'll quit his job and never leave the house.  I've lived that nightmare.  This could also be why the stalking picked up.  He wanted to know what I was doing when I was away. 

 

At least he knows I've never cheated on him.  I'm sure he's seen enough to know that!

 

6. I can consider suicide.  When I think about having to stay here, I get incredibly depressed and, have, thought about this as option.  It'll be eight years without sex in July.  It'll be fifteen without a real partner in November.  I'm thinking I'm stuck.  On the bright side, the kids will get social security money.  Maybe I should think harder about this.....as a last resort. 

Edit:  Okay...Okay...I won't do that.  I feel like I've been living life as a dead person for tax/divorce related purposes for the past two years!  The stalker has run me off.  I don't let the kids outside.  I don't advertise my services.  I don't give speeches.  I don't have business lunches with male reporters, male authors, male headhunters, or male agents because of the stalking.  I feel like I'm a zombie, a living dead person who hides away from the hustle and bustle of life around her.   

You know, I think just putting that thought in the ether hurt someone.  So, I won't think about that anymore. 

If I stay, I'll be dead as it is.  I guess it is high time to come back to life.

 

*****

 

The other thing that really needs to be hit home is that I filed for a divorce at the urging of the local police department.  Things were getting pretty bad and they told me to get out immediately.  Should the stalker kill or injure a man or woman in blue and it comes out that I tried to get away, that judge is going to look like a fool. 

 

 

*****

 

I did have an incident yesterday around 7:35 a.m.  There was a bizarre looking newer white truck parked across the street from my home.  It was about 50 yards east of my driveway.   I'd never seen it nor the driver before.  It had a bizarre tailgate.  I'd know the truck if I saw it again. 

 

As I pulled out of the driveway, it jumped in front of me and almost hit me.  It sped to the stop sign at the top of the street and stopped in the center of the road, so I couldn't get around.  The driver was watching me through the side view mirrors for the few minutes he sat there.  He was thin.  He wore sunglasses.  He had dark hair and a goatee. 

 

I do not know who he was.  I thought he was being terribly passive-aggressive.

 

He moved when I laid on the horn.  I wish I would have had my phone with me then I could have taken a video. 

 

This is no one in the neighborhood.  I don't know who this person is. 

 

Twice last week, there was an overweight blond woman standing in that very spot the truck originated from.  I saw her watching me once at 7:35 a.m. and another time at 8:45 a.m.  She watched me put the kids in the car and leave the home.  I don't get close enough to her to take pictures or find out who she is.  When I saw her, I thought she may be someone in the neighborhood who wants to approach me but doesn't know how.  When I see her, I'm always in a hurry. 

 

If I knew who she was, I'd have approached her when I wasn't pressed for time.   I have looked for her at the schools and community events but have never seen here there. 

 

That guy in the truck, though....he's making me wonder if there is more going on.   This has happened in the past and it always turned out to be someone in the neighborhood my ex or his sister bothered with their lies. 

Therapists call this 'the smear campaign.'  If I dare tell other people what is going on, then I get accused of smearing my ex.  I'll just stay quiet. 

It may not be a smear campaign. 

Perhaps I've pissed someone off? 

Maybe it's an in-law? 

Maybe it's one of my ex's friends trying to freak me out?

 

I don't know. 

I do know that if it happens again, I'll take a video. 

 

*****

 

This is my life.  Someone is trying to mess with my head.  I'm trying to get away and the courts aren't really cooperating. 

 

My ex has flat out told me that the only reason he is abusive to me is because we are married. If I never married him, he would not abuse me.

 

Why would I want to be married to a crazy person?

 

For a court to tell  a controlling man that he gets to stay married because he's not cooperating, is it like an authority figure giving a crazy person permission to do the crazy dance all over the legal process.

 

How dare they add another tile to the crazy dance floor?! 

 

He's controlling.  They're letting him control my resources, my time, my energy, and my money. 

 

They're going to keep me stuck with him.  It will put someone in danger. 

 

Damn....

 

We the people need to take our power back.

 

Love ya,

 

S.