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Unique Imperfection

 Okay...I expect you to sing along to this song.  Got it? 


Today I am thankful for unique imperfection.
 
What is perfection anyway? 
 
He laments not being perfect. 
 
Why?
 
This is a man who once wrote, after spending a night on the town with me, wrote that
 
"One doesn't have to be perfect to be loved."
 
ļ»æ
 
I'm not perfect.
 
I'm overweight. 
 
I'm a size 10/12. 
 
I'm supposed to be a 6/8. 
 
I've got stretch marks. 
 
I break out. 
 
I have an angry wrinkle when he's not around.
 
When he's around, I have smile lines. 
 
I'm not perfect. 
 
He may not be perfect
 
-still-
 
he is everything I find beautiful. 
 
Shouldn't that be enough?
 
 
This person makes me feel beautiful. I'm not perfect but the love I feel for him, the love that escapes me and makes me feel gratitude for breathing....
 
that is what makes me feel beautiful and happy.
Does he not understand?
 
That is perfection. 
 
I've never loved someone so much that it makes me cry to think that he's in pain, that he has doubt, that he doesn't understand that he's wonderful just as he is.
 
I must've spent the last hour crying.
 
I'm such a wimp!!!
 
I do fear that my divorce isn't going to go through and the anxiety is making me violently ill.  The communication between my ex and I has broken down to the point that I don't know what I'm going to do.  How do we finish things when we can't talk?
 
I'll keep praying. 
 
Everytime I pray....it seems as though the God and Goddess send Steve to talk about the same things bugging me.
 
Today, I was praying because I wasn't perfect for him.  I feel badly because I'm not with him the way he needs a woman to be with him.
 
 I hoped that he finds exactly what he needs without hesitation.

There could very well be a darn good reason for the blocks. 

Maybe I'm not the one for him.
 
I hoped that if I am what he needs

that he sees me as beautiful and knows I love him.

I also hope I can learn to communicate better and understand what I need to do to be a support to him.
 
I'm not doing that. 
 
It hurts me deeply.
 
He sent me an email talking about his imperfection and wondering why he felt compelled to do so. 
 
Miracles abound.
 
I'm praying that these blocks standing in the way of our happiness dissipate soon.
 
Whether or not we hook up, we both deserve happiness.
 
I am a good woman.
 
He is a good man.
 
Why can't we be happy?  
 
I'll sign off and pray some more. 
 
Love ya,
 
S. 
 
 

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