Retail Stores

 Ah, no...I ain't coming back to him.  But, ya know, he is trying to be on his best behavior now. 
I hope that if I do see him again, he is being the man he is now with someone else. 
I thought I should clarify. 

I do like Flea's groove, so I thought I'd post. 

 

 

Today I am thankful for retail stores.

 



 

I am depressed. 

 

When I am depressed, I buy dresses. 

 

I tend to buy my dresses at the Goodwill store in the ritzy part of town. 

 

Yeppers, I own a house in the most expensive zip code in the metro area. 

 

I just happen to live on the poor block. 

 

I get a lot of designer clothes that cost between $2.00 and $11.00. 

 

My ex used to call the things I brought home my "acquisitions."  This made me feel like an old, ugly, decrepit Ferengi when I shopped and spent his money. 

 

I still feel like a Ferengi. 

 

Especially given the fact that he wanted to tag along. 

 

Now, all I can think about is something my mentor told me about men who want to hang out with me.  It means they want to score. 

 

I was hoping he wanted to score with business suits. 

 

*****

 

Today, I scored four dresses.  Three were brand new.  The other seems new but it had been washed because the tags were a little worn. 

 

They were all designer. 

 

One was white with little silk flowers along the neckline.   It looked like something Aphrodite would wear.  It is a size twelve.  I'm not happy that I'm chunky and I hope I drop the weight before I have the need to wear it. 

 

It is HOT! 

 

One was a flashy red little number.  This one was a size ten but by the grace of the Gods - it fit!

 

One was a hot pink summer dress with hand embroidery on the top. 

 

The other was a blue stripped A-line dress that looked like a re-creation of something we'd wear in the 70's. 

 

My ex told me that the blue dress didn't look like anything I would wear. 

 

Hey...it matches my purse.  It matches my mini-van.  It matches someone's adorable set of eyes. 

 

I like the color. 

 

Besides...I was wearing a one size fits all Hindi designed peach dresses that made me feel like a big huge pig. 

 

So,  I bought the dresses and went out into the parking lot to change. 

 

I had an audience. 

 

Now....I used to be a musician.  I know how to do the quick change without anyone seeing anything. 

 

I'm still smooth. 

 

I still have it. 

 

A dirty older man groaned at me with a grin. 

 

Look....

 

even he..

 

did not want to see....

 

what he thought..

 

he wanted to see! 

 

I'm old.....I'm saggy....I'm baggy...

 

Another old man, one I know well, saw what I did. 

 

He indicated that he couldn't walk. 

 

Damn him!! 

 

*****

 

Tomorrow should be our last holiday together. 

 

It should be. 

 

He's sulking about it. 

 

So.....we went to the grocery store to buy supplies for our final cook-out.

 

They had birthday cake on sale. 

 

Right now, I can't say that I am a fan of Chris Brown. 

 

My ex wanted birthday cake. 

 

Then he turned red and indicated that he was "throbbing."

 

We bought him birthday cake ice cream. 

 

That ought to tide him over. 

 

The kids wanted to know what was up with that. 

 

Mums the word. 

 

*****

 

This break-up is incredibly dysfunctional. 

 

I'm no one he wanted until I wanted someone else. 

 

Now, he wants me. 

 

The condition is therapy. 

 

I'll stay if he gets therapy because it will be good for the kids to have a functional father.

 

He refuses therapy because....

 

(((drum roll please))))

 

I'm going to run off with some other guy because my ex offered me $28,000 to do just that. 

 

Hey.....I refused the money. 

 

***** 

 

What is the point? 

 

Seriously.....

 

What is the point of trying to be kind, nice, honorable, and fair? 

 

I give up. 

 

I don't know if I should even bother typing the other crap. 

 

I really don't. 

 

He said that he lied to his mother about me. 

 

He told her that I wouldn't let him go to college back in 1994. 

 

I helped him finance his B.A. in accounting.  I'd help do his homework.  I went part-time so he could go full bore with his studies. 

 

I can't believe he told her that. 

 

Worse, she and her family members would get physically abusive at me for going to school.  They never told me why.  HE never told me why! 

 

Apparently, this lie is the reason his sister began to stalk me on campus.  She was furious that I went to college while refusing her brother the opportunity. 

 

He would literally smirk when they would attack me.  He never clarified the matter nor did he defend me. 

 

This is one reason we don't sleep together.   

 

I think I'm helping him finance his B.S., too (this B.S. is not a degree).

 

Then there are more issues. 

 

I'm finding out all sorts of lies he's telling other people about me. 

 

I'm in a lot of pain. 

 

I'm afraid that he won't cooperate with the divorce at all.  He claims that I am abandoning him, just like his mother did. 

 

I can't take it anymore. 

 

I will never again do a quick change in a parking lot. 

 

I will never again go to a bakery with my ex. 

 

I seriously want to crawl into a hole and hide from the world for the next few days. 

 

This hurts. 

 

At least, I'll have something pretty to wear when I emerge from said hole. 

And, I will have something to listen to while hiding away.  My ex bought me a CD with songs from George Clinton and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. 

I actually had to explain that Flea is an obvious fan of Bootsy Collins.  I can hear it in his music.  Surprisingly, my ex understood that.  I guess he's heard enough Bootsy living with me for two decades. 

I probably should quietly download the CD and give it back. 

I should never accept gifts from horny men...huh?

Isn't that what Atomic Dog is about? 

Okay....I'll give it back. 

Drat....

Man...oh...man....I miss my bass. 

Maybe I'll take that with me when I squirrel away from everyone else on the planet. 

 

Love ya,

 

S.