Block Smashing Days

Today I am thankful for block smashing days.

I woke up and all of the idiotic things that were in the way of my progress went away.

I found a short term therapist for PTSD help; I think this is why I am having intimacy blocks. I'll be fixed up in no time.

A little EMDR...

A little Gestalt therapy...

and the anxiety from the stalking will be a thing of the past.

I'll be good as new.

I found that one of my previous doctors will help me with girly stuff. My insurance situation is iffy and it is darn difficult to find one willing to take a patient without reliable access to health insurance. This one will take my dough.

Things are looking up!

Hooray!!!

Then my momentum died in the afternoon.

I learned that the divorce documents had an error, so we have our official divorce document signing party at 12:30 on Thursday.

Everything was going my still way, though...

until around 1:00.

I got an email from my ex with a horribly mixed message. He wants to reconcile but he knows that I'm happier with someone else.

Huh?

That is one minor block.

I decided that it is best to focus on something else.

Okay....

My to-do list is a mile long. I have to build a resume. I have to build a website. I have to start selling products online.

Then....I tried to work on my Flash Website! UGH!!!

The site crashed!!!

UGH!!!

I get to start over now.

That's a huge block!

Thank goodness I can get back to work.

Things are not going so well now.

I'll keep plugging away.

Love ya,

S.

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Temporary Ending

Dear Readers: Over the past three weeks, I attended both a city councilperson's town hall and the mayoral town hall. Despite battling the flu, I dedicated two days to watching all available city council meetings and study sessions on YouTube in between bouts of cold chills. What I observed was a troubling pattern of disregard for honesty and disrespect towards citizens, the rule of law, and the influence of partisan politics. It has become evident that certain issues transcend the scope of a mere community art project. This realization prompted me to raise my voice, a departure from my usual composed demeanor. After discussing the situation with my family, we collectively decided to remain in Aurora. It is clear that true leadership entails making tough decisions rather than simply following personal desires. I look forward to the opportunity to address these concerns further in a different forum. Warm regards, S. P.S. There will be a new website.

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

Today I am thankful for a laugh. It didn't start out funny. My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer. My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent. I pointed at the shed. "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked. "Yes.", she replied. "That happens all the time!" She advised me to chain the door. I've done that. The thief just tears the roof off. It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants. Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess. My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me. I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years. Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...

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