Today I am thankful for opening my eyes and seeing someone's true colors.
Steve is meant for someone else, not me.
A woman reached out to him for a date.
He rejected her.
He didn't do it in private.
He did it in PUBLIC!!
ONLINE!!
Then he publicly went on to make fun of what he considered her lack of intelligence.
He used her name!
He used her picture!
Her name was similar to mine.
Her first name was Rebecca but the last name was the same.
First of all, what does it say about the character of a man to make comments about a woman's intelligence when she signals an interest in him?
Seriously, wouldn't she get intelligence points for picking YOU in the first place?
She seemed pretty and youthful in the picture.
Couldn't he have gotten a bang out of that outside of setting her up with a bad pun and making fun of her for it?
Maybe she was so turned on by his picture that all the blood flowed away from her brain and she couldn't think around him.
That happens to me all the time.
At least, I hope, that reaction has become a thing of the past when I look at Steve.
Sigh....
NO!
I can't be with a person who acts like a high school aged little boy.
I hid Steve's posts on Facebook. I trashed all our conversations on other social networking sites. I can't watch that kind of stuff. That's the first step towards unfriending and blocking.
I'll make myself scarce for....let's say..... the rest of my life.
There are other fish in the sea.
Steve wants a woman with an IQ of 160.
Oh, my mother had an IQ of 145 and she took the test when she was drunk. How smart can she be? She was murdered by an abusive turd (so my intelligence is not mocked, I mean a man who could easily be mistaken for a piece of shit).
IQ tests are meaningless to me.
I have no clue what my IQ is. I don't care. Watching shit like that temporarily drops mine about 50 points due to my disgust.
Watching that crap is akin to arguing with statists during political debates. It makes my head hurt to the point my brain seizes. There is only so much stupid my brain can take before it starts to give me mini-strokes so I can dumb myself down in order to wrap my mind around the stupid arguments.
I learned that beautiful, circular arguments with pointed slogans are the only thing people hear during political debates. That's it. Want to win office? Get yourself loads of cash, a pretty logo and a pretty argument. You'll do well.
It's fairly boring.
Maybe love is the same way. Maybe men expect you to be pretty, wear pretty clothes, and say pretty things. Maybe authenticity is not what they want.
Maybe I'll be alone for the rest of my life.
Why would a man who claims to love you, play games with you and scare you away?
I'll never understand.
I'm tired of smart, mean men.
I want a kind-hearted man. I'd like him to be someone I can talk to. Stupid men are hard for me to deal with.
One of my old loves used to think that Leif Erickson was the guitarist for RUSH.
He couldn't read, so it didn't matter how many album covers I showed him. He was utterly convinced that Leif Erickson was a guitarist and Eric Lifeson was a Viking.
He was a stupid and mean man. I hear he still is. He married the lady he saw on the side. She used to call me asking for tips on how to deal with his violence.
I can't help other than to tell her to go to a shelter.
Whatever....he had small feet and looked like Quasimodo. He still does. His name is Roscoe. That man hit me and broke my nose. I got a restraining order, ran as far away as I could, and changed my name.
This was about the time the stalking started. I'm not kidding.
I knew my current ex's family since I was a kid. The stalking started happening way back then. My current ex first blamed Roscoe. Then he blamed Thomas.
Now, I know who my stalker is. I am so angry and hurt! I can't believe that I allowed myself to be blinded by love and friendship.
Even smart people have stupid hearts.
I certainly do.
I know better now.
I fear dating the wrong people.
I fear love.
I fear getting hurt or beat up again.
I'm safer with my narcissist ex or alone than I am dating strangers. I have this obnoxiously long vetting process now.
When in the room with two devils, it's better to be with the one you know.
I certainly cannot fathom living with someone like that anymore.
I've been trying to disentangle from a narcissist for many years now.
The last thing I want to do is get involved with someone else who has a chip on his shoulder.
I don't want another mean and insensitive man.
Steve has no idea who I've turned down since I've fell in love with him.
A couple of them have been incredibly hot -but- they weren't Steve.
I never mocked any of them.
I just told them the truth: I was unavailable.
Mocking another human being, to me, is a deal breaker.
Do you know how tough it is to reach out to someone?
Why hurt people?
I'll never understand.
I'm sorry.
It would have been hot.
Maybe I'm meant to be with someone else -or- by myself.
Easy come easy go....
I guess.
Thomas once told me never to fall in love with someone because you can fall out of love just as fast. We decided that we just loved each other. We still do. We can't get along because he's fun and I'm not. He's the smartest man I know, he just doesn't harass people with his intelligence.
I sure hope he's finally settled down. Wow...maybe he's too smart for that!
I'm now off to nurse my broken heart with peach flavored vodka.
I'll do a spell to Isis and Osiris, too.
This one...will be for ME!
Tomorrow is going to be a rough day. My ex and I have to take a divorce court mandated parenting class. Stupid statists, making me spend the kid's grocery money to hear another MA level psychotherapist tell me not to blame kids for my stupid love mistakes.
If I had won office, I'd have bitched about that! Maybe I'll run for the state house in a few years, so I can change that.
Love ya,
S.