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The Insights of Men

 
Today I am thankful for the insights of men. 

I swear up and down that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I'm old. 

I'm chunky. 

I'm broke. 

I turned down $28,000 because I have scruples. 

So....

I'm going to be alone. 

A relative asked me....

"What happened to that Steve fellow on Facebook?" 

Well...

I freaked out and hid away from him. 

He didn't answer me, so I assumed he found someone hotter who is more available to be a girlfriend.

"Oh...."

My elder relative listened for a little bit before declaring that he understood what was going on. 

This is what he said:

"So, you think he's perfect and you can't imagine why other women aren't all over him.  You assume he found someone else.  

You leave him alone not understanding how much effort it takes a guy to find someone else.  You'll find out that you hurt him because you're wrong. "

Uh...NO!  I'm right.  He is a good guy.  Good guys are hard to find.  He's probably found someone else. 

Okay...I got a message from Steve. 

Score one for the relative.  He was right.  I was wrong. 

I did leave Steve alone. 

I hurt him. 

Have I done this before? 

Hmmmmm.....maybe I have. 

Still, I can't imagine why women aren't all over Steve. 

***

Love has got a bizarre way of burrowing into your soul. 

It won't leave,

even when it should,

even when it feels unsafe,

even when it doesn't seem like the right thing to feel

and

even when it does not seem like the right thing to explore at this point in time. 

Doing nice things for Steve makes me smile.  

Another relative took me out shopping for boxes to wrap a birthday gift I bought Steve.  I had to shoot down most of the boxes she picked out.  They were shaped like books (cool) but they had the words "love" and "dream" and "imagine" stamped all over them. 

Uh.....no.  That could be awkward if he ends up marrying a Victoria Secret model.  Unless he dreamed and imagined falling in love with one and made it into a self-fulfilling prophesy. 

Drat....maybe I should have bought one of those boxes!!!! 

I got him a boring brown photo box for pics of his kiddo.  The tissue paper is cute, though. 

If I spend an hour looking for a box, I guess that means that I still love and adore him even if I am in denial. 

Maybe it won't go away no matter how much I think I'm wrong for him. 

There is something I can't quite pinpoint that feels off. 

I can't figure it out. 

There is something that makes him not so attracted to me. 

So....I pray that he finds the right woman for him. 

I'm sure it'll happen any day now. 

Why is he still alone? 

Why does he always contact me when I petition Isis and Osiris to find him someone to love? 

Why do my Pagan friends laugh at me when I pose this question? 

I am so confused!!!! 

I'm off to pray again. 

Maybe if I make them some decent homemade wheat bread, they'll answer my petition faster.

Just in case I misunderstand, I will never run away and hide again.  I may get hit by lightning or something for invoking the wrath of the Gods. 

Love ya,

S.



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