Skip to main content

Hiking Trails

Today I am thankful for hiking trails: Other people can use them.
 
 
Today was crazy. 
 
It really was. 
 
***
 
 
I need another controlling man like I need a hole in my head. 
 
Steve is gone. 
 
He got weird and upset that I'm distancing myself from him. 
 
I dunno. 
 
Between the $28,000 my ex offered me to run off with Steve
 
-and-
 
Steve hanging out and defending sex offenders,
 
I don't feel like I have a choice. 
 
That $28,000 was probably some kind of delusional contract to stalking.  I mean, if my ex gives me the money, he justifies tormenting me.  I'll just wait until the judge tells me what to do (if he doesn't throw out the divorce due to the lack of an agreement). 
 
That's enough of a reason all of its own to distance myself from Steve (or anyone else) until the next court deadline (August 26th). 
 
I hate man tantrums. 
 
Steve threw one. 
 
I'm tired. 
 
He's gone. 
 
At least Steve is safe and sound.   
 
Happy trails.
 
That's okay.....my ex doesn't like feeling like a third wheel anyway. 
 
Until I can figure out the stalking bull, it's not safe for me to see anyone (except family) socially. 
 
***
 
 
Why do narcissistic men wear their weddings rings during divorce? 
 
My ex wore one today. 
 
This is weird. 
 
Why? 
 
I'm just curious. 
 
 
***
 
 
I knew it was going to be a surreal day. 
 
 
I bought an eclair this morning. 
 
 
I sat in the car with the twelve year old daughter.  I bought her and I each an eclair. 
 
She wanted to eat them in the car. 
 
I thought it would be good for my diet to simply eat the white stuffing out of it with my finger, while avoiding the bread. 
 
So, I dipped my finger inside and licked off the cream filling.
 
A older gentleman was parked in front my car.  He had a blue sports car, the came color as my van.  As he reached his door to open it, he looked at me and stopped dead in his tracks.  That man literally got into his car and starred at me until I hid my face with a receipt that I pretended to read for what felt like an eternity. 
 
I put the receipt down when he finally drove off. 
 
I'm swearing off eclairs. 
 
If you ever want to know what it feels like to be Aphrodite, 
 
suck a rounded lollipop,
 
eat a banana,
 
or lick the white cream filling out of an eclair. 
 
Men will stare. 
 
It's bizarre. 
 
Love ya,
 
S. 
 

 
 
 
 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

Time and Trauma

  Today I am thankful for stories; they are often the easiest teaching tool.  The other day I had an interesting conversation with a social worker.  She complained that one of her patients was stuck at a certain year -  let's say... 2008.  This man talks about 2008 constantly.  He shares photos of 2008 and letters of 2008.  I asked her, what happened that year?  Well, three members of his family died.  His best friend died in front of his eyes.  His spouse died.  He lost his home.   The man was wealthy.   Sadly, the evil eye is real.  Covetousness is real.  The U.S. justice system enables abusive lawyers to swoop in and take control of the wealth of well-to-do elders.  There were fights over his assets**.   The lawyers threw him out of his numerous homes.  The man was then homeless while everything went through probate and the relatives fought over the estate.   His wealth ...
Read more

Visiting the Graveyard in my Hometown and Addressing Fears I'll Soon Join the Party

 Today I am thankful for a laugh.  It didn't start out funny.  My aunt visits once a week to use the washer and dryer.   My new dryer broke just a few days out of warranty so we dried her clothes outside. While standing outside, she took me aside an said "I don't want to alarm you, but....." then she got silent.  I pointed at the shed.  "Are you worried about all the stuff pulled out of the shed?", I asked.  "Yes.", she replied.  "That happens all the time!"   She advised me to chain the door.  I've done that.  The thief just tears the roof off.  It's easier just to keep crap in it I don't care about so the thief can rummage and take what he or she wants.  Again, I was advised to consider moving, especially after finding a full gas can in the mess.  My aunt is afraid my ex-husband is going to kill me.  I've been court-ordered to live here for another two years.  Sigh.... I'm sure a judge would allo...
Read more