Skip to main content

Hiking Trails

Today I am thankful for hiking trails: Other people can use them.
 
 
Today was crazy. 
 
It really was. 
 
***
 
 
I need another controlling man like I need a hole in my head. 
 
Steve is gone. 
 
He got weird and upset that I'm distancing myself from him. 
 
I dunno. 
 
Between the $28,000 my ex offered me to run off with Steve
 
-and-
 
Steve hanging out and defending sex offenders,
 
I don't feel like I have a choice. 
 
That $28,000 was probably some kind of delusional contract to stalking.  I mean, if my ex gives me the money, he justifies tormenting me.  I'll just wait until the judge tells me what to do (if he doesn't throw out the divorce due to the lack of an agreement). 
 
That's enough of a reason all of its own to distance myself from Steve (or anyone else) until the next court deadline (August 26th). 
 
I hate man tantrums. 
 
Steve threw one. 
 
I'm tired. 
 
He's gone. 
 
At least Steve is safe and sound.   
 
Happy trails.
 
That's okay.....my ex doesn't like feeling like a third wheel anyway. 
 
Until I can figure out the stalking bull, it's not safe for me to see anyone (except family) socially. 
 
***
 
 
Why do narcissistic men wear their weddings rings during divorce? 
 
My ex wore one today. 
 
This is weird. 
 
Why? 
 
I'm just curious. 
 
 
***
 
 
I knew it was going to be a surreal day. 
 
 
I bought an eclair this morning. 
 
 
I sat in the car with the twelve year old daughter.  I bought her and I each an eclair. 
 
She wanted to eat them in the car. 
 
I thought it would be good for my diet to simply eat the white stuffing out of it with my finger, while avoiding the bread. 
 
So, I dipped my finger inside and licked off the cream filling.
 
A older gentleman was parked in front my car.  He had a blue sports car, the came color as my van.  As he reached his door to open it, he looked at me and stopped dead in his tracks.  That man literally got into his car and starred at me until I hid my face with a receipt that I pretended to read for what felt like an eternity. 
 
I put the receipt down when he finally drove off. 
 
I'm swearing off eclairs. 
 
If you ever want to know what it feels like to be Aphrodite, 
 
suck a rounded lollipop,
 
eat a banana,
 
or lick the white cream filling out of an eclair. 
 
Men will stare. 
 
It's bizarre. 
 
Love ya,
 
S. 
 

 
 
 
 


Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Recognizing Psychological Abuse

Today I am thankful that I recognize relationship abuse.   I'm still sad. I thought Steve would be different.  For all the talk about anarchy and freedom, it simply didn't exist in our relationship.  I blamed the fact that I couldn't get my ex-husband to move on.  I blamed myself. It doesn't matter.  It is weird having my ex-husband explain to me how he took control of our relationship years ago.  Yes, he says that he knows what he did.  Yes, he said most men know the games they play.  Yes, most men do it for control. That is validating.  It's painful.  It's validating.  I know what my problems are.  I always do my best to see the best in other people.  I know that no one is perfect and that everyone makes mistakes.  My issue?  Well, I am too forgiving and I feel badly when I break up with someone for hurting me.  I couldn't take it anymore.  I couldn't.  I'm st...

Imagine - Pee in a Bottle

Today I am thankful for lack of sleep. Yes, you read that right. I'm experiencing eustress: the condition of having so many great things happen to you that causes stress. I have a good job. I'm nearly done with school. I have a good lawyer. My house is being renovated. I'm sleeping about four hours a day (when the contractors are here). It'll all be worth it in the end. The problem with a lack of sleep is the weight gain.  My exercise equipment is buried in the basement. It'll be nice to get back to working out again. Things are going well for me. I'm not so sure if things are going well for my ex-husband. ***** My ex-husband has started seeing the kids about four hours a week. I learned that his child support should be much higher based on his income and I'm trying to make a decision surrounding that.  I ran up the credit cards on legal fees to get him out of the house and to deal with his antics.  The interest alone is causing a...