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New Truths (or Maybe Lies)

Today I think I am thankful for new truths;
but they could be lies. 
I have no clue. 

I'm exhausted. 

I'm frustrated. 

I'm about to give my ex whatever he wants. 

He wants me to stay married to him 'for his ego.'

Yep...that's a quote. 

Divorce is a stigma, so if I stay married he looks better. 

Let me make this quick. 

I was told today that in late September of 2012, my ex mailed his sister a key to the house with a handwritten note inviting her to come visit him every Friday after 5:30 p.m.  When I tried to ask him questions to verify the story, he answered them without hesitation. 

It was a silver key that he had made at Home Depot.  He mailed it "about a week" before she arrived.  It was a white envelope.  They key was folded inside of the letter.

I can't possibly call the police if she comes in the house again.  He gave her a key!! 

I was also told that he called his cousin on the morning of January 11, 2011 and told her that I'd be with my high school sweetheart on a certain area of town.  He said that he told her to wait for me outside of my office and follow me and the man on crutches until we found a restaurant. 

Then...of course...after telling me these stories he said he lied. 

I don't know what the lie is.....the stories he told today or the stories he told yesterday or the stories before that. 

I'm tired.  I really am exhausted. 

Then he told me to take $28,000 and move in with Steve. 

I can't do that.  I've asked Isis and Osiris to send Steve a real girlfriend.  I'm not ruining that for him. 

Then my ex told me to take $10,000 and hide. 

Oh goodness gracious....maybe Steve is worth $18,000 to my ex.  When I said no, the amount of money he offered dropped considerably.  I wonder why? 

I'm not even gonna ask about that one. 

I have to accept that there are some things in the world that will always make me go "huh?"

I'm confused. 

My brain hurts. 

I may just stay married to the dolt so I don't have to ask about our money anymore and try to move the divorce forward.  If the judge throws everything out on the 26th do to the lack of an agreement, I'm stuck here for another 91 flippin' days!!!

Effin' waiting periods!  They exist to give stalkers time to mess with their victims. 

Oh, the lies are killing me. 

If I stay with him, I will have to hypnotize myself to become asexual. 

I will have to choose between becoming paranoid or schizoid. 

If I choose paranoia, I can leave the house and always watch over my shoulder for the stalker. 

If I choose to be schizoid, I can never leave the house so that I don't have reason to be stalked. 

At this rate, I don't know what to do.  This guy has me over a barrel. 

Love ya,

S. 

Oh...I forgot to mention that he told me that 'he cheated.'

I thought he got lucky and I asked for her name.

Maybe I can help him and her on some level.

I mean...hey...I won't have to see any more pumping sex toys hanging off of him if I go down to fold the laundry.

Maybe that toy has a replacement!!

Woo hoo!!!

Then he said he cheated by stealing our money.

No....I don't have a clue what that means.

I am so flippin' tired, I don't think I'll ever want to be intimate with a man again.

Maybe I just need a plaything.




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