Skip to main content

The Shaman

Today, yet again, I am thankful for my Shaman friend.  

I'm a little spooked out.....

but okay, I'll go with it.

There are three men before me.

I'm supposed to open up to one.

That means that I must tell him what is going on.

I don't even know.  I have a pretty good idea but I'm not sure.

Maybe I should tell him.  I think he knows, too.  I mentioned that my stalker was my sister-in-law and he scoffed.

Everyone does that!  Everyone is sure my ex is the stalker.

Yes, I'm sure my ex has something to do with it but it is my sister-in-law's face that I keep seeing.  It is her Twitter account that brags about hanging out by my house, she was the one I caught trying to break into the house, and it is her fiance that harassed me in the street.  As far as I know, my stalker is my sister-in-law.  

I was also told to run away from the two Scorpios.

I must examine why one of them keeps coming back whenever he has a personal crisis yet is never there for me.

Actually, all of the Scorpios I've ever dated do that.  They get arrested, they call.  They get fired, they call.  They get cheated on, they call.  They can't get laid, they call and get frustrated.  Their mommies convince them that I'm Satan incarnate, they leave only to come back when she won't spoil them rotten  (okay, that was only Michael and his mommy).

I'm tired.

When I have the answer as to what went wrong with my other past relationships (all of them Scorpios) then I can have a relationship with someone new.

Yeah....I can tell you what went wrong!  It's me!!  I'm too ambitious to be happily tied down like a dog all day!


Just teasing.

Okay....

I'm supposed to take a couple of days to focus on love; loving my fellow human beings, loving myself, and loving the person presented on my path.

Or, I can throw myself into work and ignore men for awhile.

Does anyone have a good lead for a job?

Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Love ya,

S.

P.S.  I am really hurting today.  My friends had a young friend die a couple of weeks ago and they are raising money to help his family.  I didn't think I knew the man but I tried to promote their fundraiser out of love for my friends.

Do you know who he was?

He was the realtor trying to help me prepare for my divorce by getting the house ready to sell.

This hurts.  He had a common name.  I had no clue that I had met him.

It is truly a small world.

The lesson for me is to show gratitude the moment someone shows me a kindness.  If I hesitate, that person may not be there to thank.

Love as much as you can as long as you can.

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Realizations

Today I am thankful for realizations.   Michael handed me a note promising me the house, the 401K and custody of the kids.  I told him to come up with something a little more fair towards himself. He started crying because he doesn't want a divorce.  I'm all he lives for. He hasn't touched me in six years and I'm what he wants. Yeah...right!! I am so flippin' pissed! I knew it!! I knew it!!! The games...the stalking...the lying...the bullshit...the threats to kill himself.... it is all designed to keep me here. I still don't get the stalking shit.  He claims it's his sister and he can't keep me safe from her.  He can't help but tell them how to find me, so he tells me that I will never be safe so long as I am married to him. The cops say he's the stalker and that I'll never be safe until he moves on to another woman. I'm confused. I'm seriously thinking that the only way to stay safe is to move far away....

The Lines Between Reality and Fiction are Blurred

 Today I am thankful that I'm a bitch.  First, CO-PEP is up to their tricks again playing around with the law and ignoring my lawyer in an effort to try to get rid of my ex's child support arrearages.  That ship sailed when he refused to leave my home necessitating me to spend $30,000 in legal fees.  I gotta pay that money back with interest.  I had hoped they'd play nice and be honest.  It looks like we are back to game playing.   There are soon going to be very expensive health insurance premiums that will need to be accounted for.  If they're nice, I could let it slide. I'm busy with work and school.  I'm busy enough to let it slide.  I've let a lot of medical costs slide.  I've let the fact that he continues to violate the divorce agreement slide.  Why would they want to piss me off?  It's not going to help their deadbeat daddy client.  As an aside, he refused to tell me his address because he claimed I had t...