Skip to main content

The Shaman

Today, yet again, I am thankful for my Shaman friend.  

I'm a little spooked out.....

but okay, I'll go with it.

There are three men before me.

I'm supposed to open up to one.

That means that I must tell him what is going on.

I don't even know.  I have a pretty good idea but I'm not sure.

Maybe I should tell him.  I think he knows, too.  I mentioned that my stalker was my sister-in-law and he scoffed.

Everyone does that!  Everyone is sure my ex is the stalker.

Yes, I'm sure my ex has something to do with it but it is my sister-in-law's face that I keep seeing.  It is her Twitter account that brags about hanging out by my house, she was the one I caught trying to break into the house, and it is her fiance that harassed me in the street.  As far as I know, my stalker is my sister-in-law.  

I was also told to run away from the two Scorpios.

I must examine why one of them keeps coming back whenever he has a personal crisis yet is never there for me.

Actually, all of the Scorpios I've ever dated do that.  They get arrested, they call.  They get fired, they call.  They get cheated on, they call.  They can't get laid, they call and get frustrated.  Their mommies convince them that I'm Satan incarnate, they leave only to come back when she won't spoil them rotten  (okay, that was only Michael and his mommy).

I'm tired.

When I have the answer as to what went wrong with my other past relationships (all of them Scorpios) then I can have a relationship with someone new.

Yeah....I can tell you what went wrong!  It's me!!  I'm too ambitious to be happily tied down like a dog all day!


Just teasing.

Okay....

I'm supposed to take a couple of days to focus on love; loving my fellow human beings, loving myself, and loving the person presented on my path.

Or, I can throw myself into work and ignore men for awhile.

Does anyone have a good lead for a job?

Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Love ya,

S.

P.S.  I am really hurting today.  My friends had a young friend die a couple of weeks ago and they are raising money to help his family.  I didn't think I knew the man but I tried to promote their fundraiser out of love for my friends.

Do you know who he was?

He was the realtor trying to help me prepare for my divorce by getting the house ready to sell.

This hurts.  He had a common name.  I had no clue that I had met him.

It is truly a small world.

The lesson for me is to show gratitude the moment someone shows me a kindness.  If I hesitate, that person may not be there to thank.

Love as much as you can as long as you can.

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004.  We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out