Skip to main content

Limerence

Today I am thankful for an ex-boyfriend's Facebook posts about limerence. 

He posted them a few years ago before I blocked him for making fun of me.  I don't want to know who the subject was. 

I don't. 

My friends and family say it is me. 

I don't know.  He dated some hot chicks after we broke up. 

Today I read a blog belonging to a stalker crying out for help.  He seems to have gotten it now but it all seems to be chalked down to a borderline obsession.  He blamed limerence. 

His behavior put me in mind of Michael. 

I did read some articles about activists and whistle blowers being harassed by local governments. 

That could be what is going on now, too. 

I don't know. 

I don't care. 

I'm trying to figure out the stalking crap, so I know what to do.

I didn't live in this city in 1992 (so that was Michael).   There have been numerous crazy things I've endured from city employees since 2008 (that are probably due to Michael being a whistleblower and suing the city). 

The mangled deadbolt, the GPS box, the crazy stuff could have been done by any of them. 

In the past two years, Shannon did try to break into my house on my birthday, she did drive a truck that is registered to her fiancé (Doug) on the attempted breaking into the house expedition.  Doug harassed me in the streets and threatened a little old lady.  Shannon has called my home numerous times pretending to be a solicitor for a breast cancer charity. 

I don't know who put the gps box on my car.  I don't know who puts the crap on my porch.  I don't know who mangled the lock.

This is all recent.  If I go back to 2008 then I have to talk about the city stuff.  If I go to 1992, I have to talk about Mike's cousin and sister stalking me. 

This is what I am going to do.  I'm going to throw out the superstition and we'll see if the stalker gets caught in the net.  I may or may not go upstairs and cast a Thursday curse.  

I realize now that I'm not going to take the Shaman's advice. 

I fear getting trapped in a new relationship. 

My friend and I have a block I can't identify. 

I know that my presence wears him out, so any relationship with him couldn't possibly ever work.

Could it be a mismatch?

It's more likely that I can't deal with the thought of romance right now. 

So....

I'll love my friend from afar. 

Love ya,

S. 

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....
Read more

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor hi...
Read more

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP a...
Read more