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Limerence

Today I am thankful for an ex-boyfriend's Facebook posts about limerence. 

He posted them a few years ago before I blocked him for making fun of me.  I don't want to know who the subject was. 

I don't. 

My friends and family say it is me. 

I don't know.  He dated some hot chicks after we broke up. 

Today I read a blog belonging to a stalker crying out for help.  He seems to have gotten it now but it all seems to be chalked down to a borderline obsession.  He blamed limerence. 

His behavior put me in mind of Michael. 

I did read some articles about activists and whistle blowers being harassed by local governments. 

That could be what is going on now, too. 

I don't know. 

I don't care. 

I'm trying to figure out the stalking crap, so I know what to do.

I didn't live in this city in 1992 (so that was Michael).   There have been numerous crazy things I've endured from city employees since 2008 (that are probably due to Michael being a whistleblower and suing the city). 

The mangled deadbolt, the GPS box, the crazy stuff could have been done by any of them. 

In the past two years, Shannon did try to break into my house on my birthday, she did drive a truck that is registered to her fiancé (Doug) on the attempted breaking into the house expedition.  Doug harassed me in the streets and threatened a little old lady.  Shannon has called my home numerous times pretending to be a solicitor for a breast cancer charity. 

I don't know who put the gps box on my car.  I don't know who puts the crap on my porch.  I don't know who mangled the lock.

This is all recent.  If I go back to 2008 then I have to talk about the city stuff.  If I go to 1992, I have to talk about Mike's cousin and sister stalking me. 

This is what I am going to do.  I'm going to throw out the superstition and we'll see if the stalker gets caught in the net.  I may or may not go upstairs and cast a Thursday curse.  

I realize now that I'm not going to take the Shaman's advice. 

I fear getting trapped in a new relationship. 

My friend and I have a block I can't identify. 

I know that my presence wears him out, so any relationship with him couldn't possibly ever work.

Could it be a mismatch?

It's more likely that I can't deal with the thought of romance right now. 

So....

I'll love my friend from afar. 

Love ya,

S. 

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