Today I am thankful that I know what is wrong with me!
I am an empath.
I tend to take on the behaviors of people around me.
When I'm around politicians, I give speeches.
When I'm around party people, I party.
When I'm around life coaches, I'm impossibly peppy.
When I'm around my friend, I read too much philosophy.
When I'm around dysfunctional, violent, narcissists for long periods of time.....I can get to the point of acting like them, too!
That was a profound realization.
I don't think I get violent and weird. The negativity makes me self-absorbed. When they bully me, I tend to take them on a little too much (like running for an abusive moron's political seat).
So...maybe if I can manage to get away from this guy completely, I can find myself again.
I don't like myself when I'm self-absorbed.
I thought I could share the house with him. I can't. I can't tolerate his energy. I cannot tolerate his family. I can't handle the yelling. I can't stand the stalking. It is killing my creativity and my energy.
I'm thinking about bucking his control and leaving for the weekend so I can get my bearings. I don't know where I would go, though. I'll give it some thought.
I've come so close to getting out of this mess. All I need now is a traditional job. Everything else has fallen into place. I have a lawyer and an agreement. I have the retainer. All I need now is a job my stalker can't harass me at.
Things are looking up.
Love ya,
S.