Voodoo

 

Today I am thankful that my mother was a doll maker, my step-father was a Pagan, and that people fear Vodun.

 

In fact, I don't practice love voodoo. 

 

I just love voodoo around superstitious people. 

 

So, my ex is using code enforcement to harass me out of the house. 

 

Okay.  I'm building a voodoo scarecrow doll for the front yard. 

 

Where do I find xxl pins with black heads? 

 

So, the cops want to search every one's car. 

 

Okay.  I'm going to make little tiny voodoo dolls with blue shirts and handcuffs. 

And little tiny whips wrapped around their legs. 
 

I may use the red pins on those. 

 

Right in my favorite part: That being the little fork in the blue road. 

I'll hide one in my trunk. 

I'll put one in the little hidey hole under the passenger's seat where I hide the headache meds.  I get headaches from feeling guilty about wanting to grab a friend and sit on his lap.  Yeah...that's a dumb place for migraine meds.  I can never take them because to get to the drugs, I have to dive under his crotch.  The guilt from that would give me a worse headache....so....I'll do without. 

And...the other 'lil dolly will go in my holster so when the cops in the liberal capital city illegally steal my gun, they will get a lovey dovey surprise.

Mess with the fourth amendment at your peril. 

I'll give ya nightmares!!! 

And my driving won't count. 
 

I hope a male trooper pulls me over when I'm scary lookin', in an unbuttoned blouse, stripper boots, and not wearing makeup...

while listening to Rhianna. 

 

I'll make kissy faces at him

Hopefully, I'll have a sinus infection and no gum. 

His nose will hate me!!!  

 

I'm sure that'll earn me a hand up my orifice in the city jail. 

It hasn't seen any action for six years anyway. 

 

It'll be seven next week (yikes).

 

I'm goin' for it!!! 

 

Love ya like my needle loves thread and likes to go in and out and in and out of felt with giddy glee,

 

S.