Skip to main content

On Leaving and Recognizing Craziness

Today I am thankful that I'm learning to recognize craziness.  


I'm trying to get all the documentation to the courthouse.  

The printer is not working, so my ex's legal stuff isn't printing out.  

Mine did.  

That's weird. 

So....we haven't struck the parenting agreement.  

I'm trying to talk him into 50/50 custody.  

He doesn't want any part of it.  

I'm trying to talk him into keeping the house because I can't afford it.  

Nope, he says that I need the house.  

Why?  

He wants to keep me safe.  

His sister has been known to try to break into this house for reasons unknown to me.  She's been caught on camera and I don't quite understand why she's doing this.  

The cops say my ex is putting his sister up to it.  

I don't know.  

He claims that by playing martyr, not seeing his kids, while giving me the house and all of its contents will somehow keep the kids and I safe from his sister.  

Uh....okay.  

I wish I could understand his rationale.  

Sigh....

He's as much of a stalker as she is.  

Here's the deal.  

If his sister so much as comes around here again, I'm taking the video tape and the answering machine tapes to the courthouse and get myself and the children a permanent restraining order.   Once that is in place, my mother-in-law will be legally barred from seeing her grandchildren for a minimum of two years!!!  

Shannon had best not come here again!  

If I get that restraining order, Shannon would never pass another background check for a job again.  

She knows it!  

I'm trying to finalize the agreement.  

Did he want partial custody now?  

No, he said.  

Why?  

Well, he has a personality disorder, so he can't be near the kids.  

It seems more like a midlife crisis to me.  

There are character disorders that occur during times of stress.  The shrink said he had narcissistic personality disorder.  I don't know.  He quit therapy when he got the diagnosis.  

I do know that for some people, character disorders can be transitory.  He became strange when his mother started harassing me and his sister started stalking me.  For over thirteen years, he's been acting like a narcissist.  Maybe if he goes home to his mother, it'll stop.  

I don't know.  He needs to get his butt back into therapy and work it out.  

That doesn't mean he can't see his kids!  

What the heck is going on?  

Maybe I get the opposite of what he thinks I want.  

Okay.....Hmmmm.....that's a dangerous thing to know.  I don't want the nice sports car with the new engine, I don't want all the money, and I don't want the house.  

Actually, I'm not kidding.  I don't want everything.  I like sleeping.  

I guess I get to be a single parent with a MIA ex.  

So, here's to single parenthood.  

If he doesn't print off those forms and file them with the court before Wednesday, I won't be divorced anytime soon.  

Yeah.....I'm not happy.  

It's now been 7 years since I've been held by a man.  

Ugh....

I'm in love with my best friend and it's killing me that I can't touch him.  

So, this dragging the divorce out is hurting me.  

It wasn't bad until he told me he loved me.  When I thought it was unrequited, I could sleep at night.  Now, if I am lucky enough to sleep, I dream of HIM! 

This is weird.  

I always fall in love with the men who have scruples; it makes it hard not to grin when am thinking like a cat in heat.  

He reads me too well because he grins back!!!  

It won't be so bad, if he finds someone else because at least I'd know that it would be impossible.  

I don't want anybody else.  

Yeah..... 

I had a guy call me sexy and desirable today.  

I don't believe him.  

He's upset with me because it's obvious I don't believe him.  

It's not that I don't believe him, I think my sadness is because he is NOT the man I want to hear it from.  

I'm having trouble seeing any one ever being interested in me.  

It's hard to believe anyone would want you when your ex is making up crap about his baby sister stalking you so he can get away.  

I must suck on some level.  

If I suck, why would I let my best friend near me? 

I may take my friend's advice and take relationship communication classes.  Maybe that'll break whatever it is that is keeping me from even trying.  

I should've known he loved me when he asked me to take communication classes with him.  Damn....that was over a year ago.  I am so flippin' slow.  

I'm off to cry again. 

 I can't handle the pain.  

Love ya, 

S.  



Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor hi...

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP a...