Skip to main content

Love and Friendship

 
Today I am thankful for love and friendship. 

I am confused...but thankful.

I have a friend, who I'm pretty sure has become my best friend.

I love my friend. 

The way he smiles at me when he thinks that I am not looking gives away the fact that he knows. 

I think he's known all along. 

It's been more than two and a half years since I saw him glowing in a coffee shop one Thursday afternoon. 

He looked up.  He smiled.  He brightened up the room. 

I can only describe it as glowing. 

No, we are not near a nuclear power plant. 

Two years ago, he gave a speech and the way he looked at me made another friend of mine ask if we were 'an item.'

No.  We're just friends. 

I have stuff I need to take care of before inviting anyone into my life in that manner.

*****

The past two years have been depressing and scary. 

The stalking has picked up. 

My money went missing. 

My business had to be put on hiatus.

I gained thirty pounds. 

Gasp!!!

My friend treats me like I'm a human being....still. 

Since he told me he loved me and expressed concern over my well-being;

I've spoken to the police and put together a plan to stop the stalking.

I restarted my business.

I got a better office at half the cost of the old one.

I lost twenty pounds. 

I feel alive.

One of our mutual lawyer friends is helping me get through the divorce. 

When the stalking picks up, I'll consider caving into my ex and ending the divorce.  Our lawyer friend will talk me out of giving up.

It seems like the more I talk to my friend, the more things change in my life. 

I hope good things are happening for him, too. 

He'll tell me about his educational and career advancements. 

He's pretty sharp, so those things are bound to happen for him.

I try to encourage him to be more of who he truly is but I doubt my words or encouragement has any impact.  

He expresses a wish to do something. 

Then he does it. 

That's the way life ought to be. 

He accepts me for who I am and that, on some basic level, is incredibly liberating.

It helps me feel beautiful. 

*****
 
On Wednesday, my ex sat in court telling me that we had to divorce. 
 
It was inevitable.
 
It had to happen, the sooner the better.
 
I believed him. 
 
The magistrate believed him.
 
We have 29 days to come to an agreement and get the documents signed, notarized, sealed, and delivered.
 
Then it is over. 
 
This twenty-two year nightmare will finally be over
 
-or- so I thought. 
 
Today....my ex called to ask me if I knew he loved me. 
 
My answer was 'no.'
 
I don't believe that he loves me. 
 
Then it got weird...... 
 
He wants to put an end to the stalking. 
 
He wants to stay married. 
 
Then he promised to take the kids to a movie and asked me to come along. 
 
I feel guilty about it
 
-but-
 
I stayed home. 
 
I'm not sleeping well at night. 
 
I'm exhausted and unable to breathe. 
 
I'm off to bed to get some sleep.

 

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

Venus Meditations

  Today I am thankful for my new realization.  In my world, Friday is the day of love (reminds of The Cure - lol).  It's true.  Friday is the day of Venus.  Exhausted as I was after work, I went to my altar and lit a candle asking that my friend find whatever his life is lacking. Then I went upstairs and did my Friday night ritual to Aphrodite.  I lit a candle asking that I gain confidence in my ability to love.  I also ask that I recognize true love.  I was too exhausted to linger so I tried to fall asleep.  Have you been too tired to sleep?  It's horrible.  Your mind goes round and round -  you might recall things that happened recently (like the doctor telling me to be careful because I haven't hit menopause yet and I say, "not worried about it" while thinking that it's a good time to be in a sexual drought - hooray for me),  or things going on at work  (that I can hypnotize little cranky babies to sleep without sa...

Welcome to the Club, Zuckerberg (also a warning)

Today I am thankful for realizing that I am not alone.   There is a frustrating feeling that one gets when trying to educate lawmakers about the reality of the world in which we live. I saw this feeling expressed by Mark Zuckerberg during that charade of a Congressional hearing he took part in this week. Zuckerberg looks a mixture of angry and frustrated.  I know that face.  That's the face where I am stifling laughter so hard that it looks like I'm going to cry. That's my political face.  My background is in social science and psychology.  Imagine how irritating it is trying to explain that city policy is based on the concept of a traditional nuclear family (mom, dad, kids - people tied together by blood or legal policy).  As such, there are laws on the books that break up other types of families (more complex family systems of economic cooperation).  Trying to explain that there are  people who share economic resources without bloo...