Today I am thankful for the opportunity to let go of things I don't want
so that I can bring in things that I need into my life.
I gave up the job training program. I still don't have full access to my car. I'm promised it daily but I don't think it's going to happen.
I'm hunting for a new vehicle and I'll borrow money from my family to pay for it if I have to do that. I don't want to do that but they know that if I put my Peavey T-40 up for collateral, I'll pay them back quickly. I love that bass. It is the only remaining relic from my childhood (at least pieces of it are).
This situation is insane. There are times I think I should stay married because the harassment would stop. Then I realize it probably will only get worse.
This guy is doing this stuff because he can.
So, I've got to stop it.
My poor lawyer. I feel sorry for that man having to listen to my nonsensical phone messages about the stalking, not having access to my car and other separation weirdness. I'm just going to focus on numbers from now on. I can't do anything about it. It just is.
I'll apologize to him.
I am realizing that the $47K is gone. I'm going to stop looking for it and just use the numbers I have to divorce my ex. If my ex conned me out of that kind of money, it is a small price to pay for my freedom.
I am also realizing that the stalking is a game intending to get my attention.
I'm going to ignore it.
The moment I sent off an email to the head of the job training program asking how to dis-enroll, I got a fraudulent telephone call. It's a scam. It is an evil, horrible scam that was obviously an attempt to get credit card numbers from elderly people.
I called the Attorney General's office to complain. That was in interesting call. They don't know who I am. I never gave them my full name. They don't know that I do voice-overs. They don't know that I am involved in politics, run a political action committee, nor do they know that I used to volunteer for the District Attorney.
I was offered volunteer opportunity. They will have someone from the consumer affairs department of a partnering corporation call me tomorrow to interview me for the position of recording their automated warning calls. If they want me, I'll do it. I need a job reference.
So, in letting go of the baloney, something decent came to me. This is how I envision getting a job. I'll do the right thing and someone will notice and hire me.
Rather than freak out about Shannon, Mike, and the broken locks....maybe I should focus on helping people.
This is hell.
I tried to get answers from Mike again today. I give up. It was three hours of lying.
Then, my ex stood up with an erection.
He had to point it out to me!
It took me five minutes to understand what he meant when he said "ridge."
I kept asking him "what?"
and he kept saying "ridge."
He didn't say "rigid" he said "ridge."
I didn't understand until I looked down.
No more of that!
I told him that copulating with me would reset the divorce clock, it will be cheaper for him to find a new friend for that.
Ooooh.....I'm a little disgusted that my fear is turning him on!
I turned to Facebook to squelch the vomit.
When I logged into Facebook, I had 21 messages waiting for me. In perfect synchronicity, Steve wrote about a story today. I'll post it below. He always knows the perfect metaphor to get me to think.
He doesn't know what happened today.
It's hard not to love a man like that.
He always knows what to say!
I hope you have someone like that in your life.
Love ya,
S.
Here is the story:
I once got a guided tour to Heaven & Hell !!!
I was first taken to Hell. I had expected it to be full of fire, flames, blood etc. To my utter surprise it was all green, well manicured gardens, 8 lane roads etc. I was shocked. However, the inhabitants were very frail and thin. As if they have not eaten for days – skin stretched on skeleton!
I then went to Heaven. The scene here was exactly same. Same infrastructure, greenery, roads etc. The only difference was that the inhabitants looked very fit, healthy and happy!!
What was the mystery? I rushed to God and asked. “Please tell me why people at these two places look different?”
God smiled. “Did you see their canteen?”
“No. What is there to see in the canteen?” I asked.
“There you will find your answer!” God said.
I went again. Outside the Hell canteen, there was a notice. “You can eat ONLY with the spoon provided”. There was a big spoon put on the notice board – 2 feet long. Also the spoon was tied to the one arm of each inhabitant as they entered (with elbow locked), the other arm was tied behind his back.
Inside the canteen, the scene was interesting. Each person was dipping his spoon in the food and throwing it towards his mouth & attempting to catch the food. Everyone was doing that. All were busy. 95% of the food fell on the floor.
I then went to Heaven’s canteen. Same rule, same spoon! Yet the scene was different. You guessed it right!! People were sitting in pairs, facing each other. Each person picked food in the spoon and fed the person in front.