Truth or Dare

Today I am thankful that I can actually consider playing a little game of truth or dare.

Do I dare learn the truth? 

The last time I cast a spell to learn the truth about a rude, nasty, condescending politician....

the universe thrust me into the position of running for his seat. 

Then I met a gossip or two. 

I still can't delete what those evil, wicked, liberal women told me!!! 

I am just going to say that they should be the last people on earth questioning a man's morals for alleged sexual experimentation!! 

They're Democrats....for goodness sake!! 

Besides, anyone of a certain age who has been in the Navy...

lived in a time when females were not allowed on boats.

Well....

he's entitled to indulge. 

Everyone is entitled to indulge in consensual love that is in line with their morals and laws of the land.

Who am I to judge? 

I'm not sure he did that anyway. 

I think those little old gossipy ladies had active imaginations

or group sex fantasies. 

I don't know. 

I really don't care

except that this gossipy experience is why I hesitate to cast any spell where secrets are revealed. 

I'd say that the spell was a success. 

I wanted the truth. 

I think I got the truth

and a lot of other information I never wanted. 

(((shudder)))

I spent the morning trying to get to the truth. 

It's like going around and around in circles.

I'm tired of the lies. 

It is exhausting. 

Yes, his sister managed to get into the house. 

Did she break in? 

Did my ex give her a key?

Do I need to move? 

Do I need to change my name and hide? 

My questions are

1.) How is this person able to stalk me and know where I am to harass me?

2.) Why is this person doing these things?

-and-

3.) What do I need to do to keep everyone safe? 

I never get a straight answer. 

The conversations go something like this. 

We need to stop Shannon from stalking us.
Then my ex tells me that I need to finalize the divorce.
Then I'm told that he doesn't want me to do that. 

Then he alludes to killing himself once he moves out.
I suggest letting him keep the house and he refuses. 

Then he tells me that he will be faithful to me.....even after the divorce is final.  I think it is an attempt to make me feel guilty.
When I tell him I'll help him get over his dating jitters....he calls me controlling!!! 

The he alludes to being my boyfriend after the divorce -but- he wants me to see other people.
Uh.....that isn't going to happen.
I can't juggle men.
I'm too stupid to keep them straight.
I'm a one at a time kind of woman. 

These conversations are sooo weird.

It goes on and on into oblivion. 

I feel oblivious. 

Either he's trying to keep my attention by playing games -or- I'm missing something.

I only wasted two hours on the conversation today.  Usually, it takes six or so to get him to settle down. 

I realized that these conversations are causing the adrenaline rush/panic attacks. 

So, I did a little self-hypnosis to get rid of the panic attacks. 

Do you know what happened? 

The anxiety manifested as chronic light and lock checking. 

I kid you not!!! 

I went back and forth four or five times to check the locks and lights at work. 

Holy crap.....I guess that is one way to not be home for an argument that goes nowhere! 

Wow.....

I may just spend $14 on candles and incense. 

Perhaps it is time for a truth spell.
It's cheaper than Xanax.  

If he's serious about offing himself, a shrink would be far more effective than a protection spell. 

I'll push him to get help. 

Damn...this sucks. 

What in the world does this man want? 

I wish I understood. 

The cops say he's playing me to control my time and attention. 

I don't know. 

Isn't life too short to play games like that? 

I wish I understood. 

Love ya,

S. 

Next Day Edit:  I was told a couple of things that I did not know today.

First, Shannon would always accompany my ex on dates prior to his meeting me.

I did not know that.

I do know that there were times I would pick him up for dates and she would jump in my car and refuse to leave.

So, they were always so enmeshed that she accompanied him on dates.

There were times during our dates when she would show up in the venue.

It makes sense now.

It would seem that he never asked her to stop following him.

Secondly, in 2007, my ex and his sister were talking on the telephone and she told him that she was following me on campus and talking to my professors about me because she was unhappy with how her relationship with her brother became strained.

He called his sister because he was in a twelve step program.  She did not call him.

Perhaps the enmeshment goes both ways.

My understanding was that they had no contact between 1999 when she and her mother started lying about me and 2012 when she called here to offer me a phone after we yanked the GPS box off of my car.

In 2007, he began to call me his ex and demanded a divorce.  When I try to separate from him physically, he freaks out.

It looks like we have one set of realities for his family and another for the rest of the world.  He needs his family to believe we are divorced.  He needs the rest of the world to see us as married.

It could be that I am the interloper who crashed their enmeshment party.  That may explain everything.  The stalking could be an attempt to run me off and out of the picture.

It could be that she is stalking me to help him.  She follows me when I'm in public or with males in my profession. Maybe she's trying to catch me doing something wrong.

He stalks me when I'm in school or working.  Perhaps he's trying to keep tabs on me for another reason.

It would seem they talk to each other more often than I believe.  Maybe the cops are right when they say that my sister-in-law is stalking me for my ex.

I don't mind my ex talking to his sister.

If he gave her a key, I would like him to be honest about it.

It's the lying that confuses me.

Things could get embarrassing if I call the cops and have her arrested because I believe that she is breaking in the house.

When I ask him to tell me what he wants and speak from the heart, I never get a straight answer.

If he wants his family in his life, he ought to have that.

I will be incredibly pissed off if I find out that the broken locks, the street theater, and the harassment are just being done to scare me.

I really need a straight answer right now.