Today I am thankful for my new lawyer; this one is a family law practitioner but he will only work with me to help me get a restraining order against my abusive former in-laws.
I was up until a little after 3:30 am reading the website of a minister who counsels adult children of narcissists. She writes about her personal story and her relationship with her NPD father.
He stalks her and her family.
He hassles them constantly.
He ignores her cease and desist letters.
She writes about how he will have lawyers send letters to her promising inclusion in a will.
That sounds familiar.
Where have I seen this before?
The reason for promising money is that they assume their children are as greedy as they are. They try to hook the person into contact with the promise of money. The object of the game is to get the spouse and children to side with him against the adult child of the narcissist.
Between letters from lawyers, the kids will get cards promising them $1,000 each if they call their Grandpa against their mother's wishes.
That is pretty darn toxic.
I don't know if he's ever menaced her neighbors with a gun.
I hope that is unique to our situation.
I hope that is unique to our situation.
This morning, I learned that my ex wrote about our divorce and his new apartment on Facebook. There must be a troll on that website stalking him because within 24 hours of posting that, his mother hired the Grandparent's Rights Lawyer to send the letter her on her behalf.
The letter alluded to the promised of an unspecified item left to him by his father -but- the catch would be he'd need to visit with his mother to get it. It also asked that he contact the lawyer but he didn't because he correctly figured it was another fishing expedition.
Just to be sure that there was no funny business, he went to the courthouse and pulled the file pertaining to the case number given. There really was nothing to it. No one was contesting the will or threatening my former mother-in-law with legal action. The will left everything to his mother.
There was no reason for her to hire a lawyer. Why do so after the case is settled?
That made no sense to me, except that it was a way to get around the cease and desist demand we sent earlier and it could be a means to test whether or not I would give mail to my ex.
They did this once before. We moved and they sent Valentines to the baby in order to get our forwarding address. That is one mistake we will never make again. Nothing will ever be forwarded again so long as these people breathe.
How do I know? They brag about their exploits.
I want to know how they got pictures of my kids from my living room. I wish they'd brag about that into a tape recorder.
I am so tired of this crap.
Today my ex and I retained council.
We had to do that.
Yes, I truly believe that the primary reason the Grandparents Rights Lawyer wrote here was to get a forwarding address for my ex or to test whether or not I gave him his mail. She may have been trying to learn more about our separation and divorce.
See, we can be separated/divorced but so long as I let him live here my mother-in-law cannot sue for Grandparent visitation. My ex can officially sleep in his basement bedroom as long as he'd like.
I don't know what the definition of cohabitation is. Does he need to sleep here one weekend a year? or 52? I don't know. I don't care. My former in-laws will have to stalk me to find out when he's here and if they do that, I'll catch them on video and have their happy arses arrested for stalking!
I'll get the restraining order, there will be no threat of grandparent visitation.
I'll just give them enough rope to hang themselves.
Rope....it's the gift I'm giving stalkers this year.
There are always ways around bull crap....always.
In answer to the stalker's question, yes I give him his mail.
I will NEVER give up his new address to anyone.
Do you know why?
I don't have it. I don't want it. If I get his mailing address, I'll end up with his sister's pistol in my face while she demands it.
It's better that the kids and I send things to his PO Box.
I'm going to try to head the latest round of trouble off at the pass.
We see the new lawyer today and will ask him to write a new Cease and Desist letter.
We'll also talk about when the right time to get a restraining order will be. Once that is issued, my former mother-in-law cannot possibly seek visitation for a period of two years because the stalker lives with her.
Yes, my 42 year old sister-in-law still lives in the basement of her mother's home.
As I type that, I wonder about the reason emotional vampires like living in basements.
Wow...
They've already violated the first letter. I can prove Shannon tried to break in and that Doug harassed people at my office. I have messages from my answering machine where my mother-in-law threatened me. I can easily get a restraining order.
I've saved all the crap they put on my porches. I bet they can find a fingerprint or two on those. I still have the broken locks.
We'll see what the lawyer says. I'm thinking my ex may need one more than I.
Perhaps they are harassing me to get to my ex.
I need to put an end to this so I can get back with my life.
I need to do so using mundane tools like courts and lawyers.
I'll save the magick for later.
Love ya,
S.
Edit six years later: So - a few years after this entry, I discovered that my ex was actually the stalker. He would tell me that he never spoke to his family so he didn't know why they do the crazy things they did. He claimed to be their victim. He claimed they were stalking him.
Then, I learned he spoke to his cousin on a daily basis. I further learned that she lived next to his brother who, in turn, shared my information with his family. My ex admitted to sending his sister a key to my home and inviting her to come on in any time.
The whole thing was a gaslighting set-up.
Of course, now he claims that I made the whole thing up and uses this as a topic of emotional harassment during discussions about lowering his child support and dropping his arrearages.
The same type of harassment is sporadic but ongoing. I'll probably never know what exactly happened.
Edit six years later: So - a few years after this entry, I discovered that my ex was actually the stalker. He would tell me that he never spoke to his family so he didn't know why they do the crazy things they did. He claimed to be their victim. He claimed they were stalking him.
Then, I learned he spoke to his cousin on a daily basis. I further learned that she lived next to his brother who, in turn, shared my information with his family. My ex admitted to sending his sister a key to my home and inviting her to come on in any time.
The whole thing was a gaslighting set-up.
Of course, now he claims that I made the whole thing up and uses this as a topic of emotional harassment during discussions about lowering his child support and dropping his arrearages.
The same type of harassment is sporadic but ongoing. I'll probably never know what exactly happened.