Today I am thankful that 364 days of the year are NOT Valentine's day.
I hate Valentine's Day....
I hate it...
I hate it...
It has ruined every flippin' relationship that I've ever had.
Let's take a looksie, shall we?
February 14, 1984
My step-father beat the shit out of my mother. He held her head over a gas burner. He demanded that she take drugs with alcohol. She went to the hospital and was put on life support. She died on her 36th birthday (two days later).
This is probably the real reason that I detest Valentine's Day.
He felt so guilty about it that he committed suicide two years later. This is why my ex's threat to kill himself upsets me so. I know what suicide does to kids. My ex is pretty flippin' manipulative to pull the suicide card, eh?
Anyway...we should probably continue...
February 14, 1987
Timothy and I were at the mall, twenty miles from home. I wanted to surprise him with an old timey photo of me dressed up as a turn of the century hooker and he as a drunk. I knew the photographer and he had a very skimpy costume for me to wear.
I cringe when I think what has happened to the photo over the years.
Ewwww.....
I was nearly naked.
Just as the photographer was ready to snap the shot,
He fought about my smile the whole night long. I didn't make a funny face. He was mad.
We fought so much that we missed the last bus home.
I ran to my grandfather's house in the hopes of getting ride home but he was not home.
So, I had to rent a motel room across the street from the mall.
Good ol'
I hope he learned a life lesson that night!
Let me sum up for you.
I was a pissed off auburn haired teenager with PMS who, apparently, had an ugly smile.
He would soon become a sexually frustrated seventeen year old in a tiny hotel room where the only companion who wasn't mad at him was a trial sized bottle of lotion.
He did not get lucky!
We broke up shortly after that.
February 14, 1990
Ross had an older woman. He'd take me out to dinner and I'd spend the entire evening watching them dance together all night long.
I stayed home that night.
I had a friend come visit me. I hadn't seen him in over two years. Apparently, he saw me in town with bruises on my face and it pissed the holy hell out of him.
When we were younger, he and I were basically orphans. His family was out of state and unreliable. My parents were dead. We took care of each other when we had no where else to go. We were, quite literally, forced to eek out a living in a tiny apartment with other homeless kids.
He was very protective of me. I'll call him by his middle name, which is now Sampson.
So, Sampson, being the obnoxious man he grew into, sat up with me until 2:30 am, the time Ross would come home every night. He watched that door.
He just sat there watching television. We heard Ross's truck pull up the driveway. He liked to blare heavy metal music. So, we knew it was him.
He sat there waiting. You could hear footsteps. You could hear fumbling for keys. At the moment, the door started to open....
Sampson grabbed me and gave me a passionate kiss.
Then he walked out.
Ross laughed.
We broke up shortly after that.
I've only seen Sampson a handful of times since that day. I, quite actually, have no clue what to do when he shows up.
Men confuse me!!!
Mike...oh, gawd...which flippin' Valentine's day do I b!tch about?
February 14, 1992
We fought over the fact that I stared at a bass player's five string steinberger. He thought I was staring at his package.
UGHHHHH
No nooky that night!
He still gives me crap about that!
February 14, 1994
We broke up over stalking. His sister was everywhere we didn't want her to be.
Hnnnmmmmmm.....
I don't remember many of the others, they started to run together after awhile.
February 14, 2000
We didn't celebrate much after that because this was a few months after his mother spread the gossip and he started sleeping apart from me.
February 14, 2002
This was the worst day of my life.
I got drunk on New Year's Eve and ventured into the basement. I did a stupid thing and paid the price when I had a miscarriage that started on Valentine's day.
His mother called while was at the doctor's office getting my rhogam shot and left a disgusting message for everyone (including the sitter) to hear. She called me a baby murderer among other things and then threatened to hunt down friends of mine and beat them up if I didn't call her for my obligatory tongue lashing.
I was too ill to call her.
I still hear about that and do get anti-abortion literature put on my doorstep from time to time. My understanding is that this is my mother-in-law's way of bitching about me.
February 14, 2012
That was the day I learned that my ex had stolen the money, put it in his 401K and stopped paying the bills. He said he did that to keep me here with him.
On the bright side, that was the day I found one heck of a generous divorce lawyer. I was crying. He offered to help me fix it.
I'm taking his advice.
Take it slow. Be amicable. Play fair. I'm working on it.
February 14, 2013
Ooooh, I don't know....
I'll probably do nothing but count my blessings.
I hate Valentine's Day. It's so fake. Men do all these stupid things to get a little fun. My personal preference is that a guy should be given fun stuff more than once a year.
It shouldn't cost a box of chocolates or a cheap card...
If I eat the chocolates, he won't want the fun stuff anymore.
I'd flatten him with my thunder thighs.
Chocolates? No....
I prefer protein shakes. I mean that is the only meal in the world that works itself off on the way down.
Darn it...I don't know what to do.
I have feelings for a friend.
I went out with him by mistake 18 months ago as I thought he was another friend with the same name who hadn't left the house in a couple of years. I only accepted the "date" because I know how to deal with that kind of anxiety and was trying to be supportive of my friend.
I realized that I was wrong when the wrong guy showed up but it was a happy mistake. I liked the new guy.
I wrote earlier about having two friends with the same name. I used to confuse them from time to time. Their birthdays are days apart. They are both conservative political activists and for the longest time they had the same avatar. They even live in the same town!
The "wrong guy" has turned out be the right guy. I like him a lot.
It's a shame that I am not the right girl.
Now, what really sucks about this is that the other man offered me a shot at....uh...celebrating hump day. I told him we'd correspond by email until that passed.
Two men have expressed interest in me within a week and they have the same flippin' name!
I wonder if there is any truth to this numerology business? Hmmmmm....
I pretty much know who I like the most.
Here is the extent of my plans.
I'm going to stay home, take cold showers and sip iced tea.
I'm going to avoid talking to Mr. Denial.
I'm sure all will be well.
May you get lots and lots of nooky.
Love ya,
S.
Edit 2/14/13 2:38 p.m.
What part of "we are getting divorced but I'll stay to help you fix the finances" means
by me a 39 cent box of candy and a romantic card on Valentine's Day?
He doesn't get it.
Maybe I need to go roll around with another guy and come home smelling like cologne for him to take this a tad bit more seriously.
I've turned down a hottie out of respect for a disrespectful, lying, stalking idiot!
Okay, I also did that out of respect for Mr. Hottie because I want to be free of any entanglements just in case he falls harder. He doesn't see it as respectful though.
I'm trying. I have a stalker who talks about keyloggers and Mr. Hottie wants me to email him and tell him what is going on.
Hell NO!
He's gonna have to call or meet me face to face so we can melt the snow.
Or, I can try to set him up with a hot girlfriend of mine.
Hot men are a horrible resource to waste.
Sigh...
I'm not happy....not happy...
I hate Valentine's Day.
UGHHHH!
It's going to be a long day!
Edit 3:54 p.m.
Ughhh!!!
This day just keeps on getting worse and worse...
He told the kids that I was "bluffing" about the divorce. He has a romantic evening planned. Yeah, right.. he doesn't. If he did, I have blue lipstick that I'm going to paint underneath my eyes.
Yeah....I've not got that pseudo-flu. *Cough*Cough*.
There is no way in hell that I'm going to go out in public with him.
I just got home from a confrontation with the neighbor. He's a PI. I told him that I hired a PI to help me deal with the stalking.
He doesn't believe that I'm being stalked unless I'm having an affair. I'm not having an affair...I have too many f'ing scrupples for that.
My neighbor is telling me to "Think of the children!"
I have.
I have.
I have stayed here to try to earn enough money not to get alimony. I have tried to keep him from giving up 40% of his income to me. It's a shame he lets his sister stalk me at work and cost me my jobs. She can't do that without his help.
I am stuck.
I am angry.
I have thought of the children and he is using that against me.
I have thought about other people. That's why I've put up with this for fourteen years. That's why I've been celibate for six years.
This is getting old.
Stick a fork in me.
I'm done!
I'm not playing games. I'm not going to help people if they are going to use my kindness against me.
Edit 6:15 p.m.
Mike told me that he lied about getting divorced. He doesn't understand the pain associated with sleeping alone for six years thinking that someday you could find someone else to love.
Then he told me that his sister was my stalker. I asked him why and he said it was because he wasn't talking to his mother.
I told him to fix his relationship with his mother if that is the reason they are stalking me and ruining my life. Then he started yelling at me and sticking his finger in my face because I don't know what they did to him when he was a kid.
Then he went downstairs to call his sister to confront her about the stalking.
I asked him to go to the police first. He won't.
He's been on the phone with her for a half of an hour. I totally expect her to come charging at me again.
How is he not my stalker?
I've got to go....now!
Edit 8:27 p.m.
So, Mike comes upstairs and says that he told his family about the stalking and claimed that it was me that kept them away from his mother for thirteen years.
Nice...so, if he's right and they're stalking me...I'm dead.
His sister, the chick who has always admitted to stalking me in the past, had decent advice though. She told him to call the cops.
I have.
The cops say that Mike is the stalker and that he may be using his family as proxies to keep tabs on me.
Shannon D., dear, you're out of the clear.
I can't help your brother anymore, though.
He's scaring the hell out of me.
I'll call the divorce lawyer tomorrow and see if we can put this thing on steroids.
I get bellowed at for suggesting that he repair his relationship with his mother.
And then his family claims I'm not allowing him to talk to his mom.
I can't take it anymore.
If he's down to living off of $20 a week after alimony and child support, we'll see how quickly he fixes it with his mom. Watch....
he won't have anywhere else to go.
Divorce IS the perfect solution.