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Friends


Today I am thankful for fiends...oops, I mean friends. 


I'm exhausted today.  

I spent too many hours hugging my microphone.  I think I know what happened here, I replaced one Mike with another.  

Bad joke....

I'm tired.  

I had a three hour coffee break with a darling friend.  She told me how Steve had to walk nearly a mile to rescue me when I got lost on the train on my way to a demonstration.  

She's like.....so you have a crush on Steve, don't ya?  

He's kinda cute, huh?  

Yeah....

He's a sweetie, too!  

So...you're going to get that divorce.  

Yeah....

the stalking is driving me nuts.  

My friend gave me the secret to ending a six year celibacy streak.  

Vodka or Pot (pot, only if your have less than an ounce and live in Colorado or Washington).  

It won't be pot because I don't want to destroy my voice.  

Okay....got it!!!  

Let's see...

Another friend gave me software that records and transcribes EVP frequencies.  These are frequencies that some claim that the dead use speak to us. 

I collect stuff from haunted houses.  

Between 6:00 p.m. and 12:12 a.m., I became incredibly disappointed because I got nothing. 

Nothing...

At 12:20 things got weird.  

I was on a gun rights rant and the recorder kept picking up the date 1778.  

I don't know what I was doing when I heard the word "fang"....I was probably bitching out a Senator for saying women are too dumb to when when they are being raped.  


I was all like: 
Bend over, Bucko.  Let me demonstrate!!!   Let's see if you can't feel my 5" heels plowing through your pants!!!  

I'm going to miss my red locks when I go gray.  I get away with crap my blond and brunette counterparts can't say.   People expect me to be much meaner than I am.  I'm pretty damn rude and crude but people still call me sweetie.  

Anyway.....

I was helping another friend married to a narcissist and I saw the word "willow" come through.  

Maybe the software sucks and picks up my rants and echos them.  

I don't know.  

I'm going to light some candles, talk to the djinn, and fall asleep.  

They are incredibly interesting.  

You know, just the mere mention that I talk to djinn should scare off my stalker.  I'm surprised it hasn't worked yet.  

I guess next time Doug approaches me to call me Satan, I'll ask if he sees my djinn and then say that I'm going to make that third wish now....


I wish for Doug to have severe shrinkage in his third leg and Shannon to gain her 300 pounds back so that when they say they aren't engaging in premarital sex people will actually believe them! 

That should scare them both off!  

Hmmmmm.......

Love ya 

S.  


P.S.  Okay, this is funny...

I'm having dreams of being approached by Doug, Shannon and Shannon's brother William.  In this dream, William tries to cast a Harry Potterish hex.  Not knowing what he is doing, nothing happens. 

Then I threaten to sick a djinn on him and he runs off thinking I'm crazy. 

Ha Ha...

That does sound like something I'd do. 





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