Today I am thankful for incompatibility.
Yep....
I'll never cheat on anyone with my friend.
I guess....we found an excuse....to behave.
Yeah...
We'll never....
ever
get down, dirty, or filthy.
Do you know why?
I must leave him frostier than a Frigidaire.
If you could see me, I'm doing my frown face.
Maybe Facebook isn't such a bad thing after all!!
He had to post this for the whole world to see:
not the bedroom.....
I mean that is what is wrong with my life now....I do all my work in my bed. I sleep with books.
It depresses me.
Oh...how sad.
Bummer.
There are two reasons this won't work with me.
First, I'm a woman. I hate to leave any argument.
What happens is I'll pose an idea that makes a man horny and then all the blood will rush away from his brain and....
whatever we are talking about will die right there.
I call this phenomenon the male reboot.
As a female, I hate walking away in the middle of an intellectual argument. Arguing is how I hone my ideas so I can cream the competition.
Secondly, if the man somehow has enough brainpower to continue to critically think when wanting to be alone with me....
well...
I don't want to have enough brainpower to focus on the arguing.
I don't want to be able to think about much more than
what...
I....
want...
to...
do...
to...
him....
next.
You know, if we're still arguing about John Locke when we're in our skivvies.....we're not doing it right!
So....alas....this is the end of the great love affair that was never meant to be.
I'd bore him.
Sigh....
At least my stalker will be happy.
Me?
I'll keep my eye open for a creative thinker.
Maybe if I grab my bass and join a band, I'll have a better shot at more creative types.
They're a heck of a lot of fun!!
Okay....Okay...
I should probably tell the world that I know the truth about my friend.....
Just about anything promising him a fun romp in the hay with someone who he likes, that doesn't smell, or have an STD will make him horny.
He's a red blooded unattached American guy. This one is picky but he's still a man. Men are all different but the basic design is generally the same.
You can't change that. It is what it is.
Sigh....
I like how he smells like Irish Spring.
I know an Irish lass that wanted to spring on that before she was told she'd have to think about the wrong things....
sigh....
Yeah, I'm fake crying now. The reflection of my monitor shows a big 'ol smirk.
Love ya,
S.