Yep -
Those dreams freaked me out so much....
that it was causing me to think about the wrong things far too much.
There had to be a reason my subconscious mind took me there. I'll start with the thought process and then the piece of advice I got.
This morning, my first thought was that I was having nightmares because my energy is all over the place.
Seriously, I think my spirit animal must be a squirrel.
Don't believe me? Watch me at a music shop -or- in the university library -or at an art supply store.
There is so much do to - so much to learn - so much to draw and play.
I am ALL over the place.
For the first six hours of the day, I was convinced that my energy is in so many different places, I could never be in a relationship.
Then -
I started to have the opposite train of thought. I had the epiphany that maybe the problem I and many others have in relationships are the expectations people tend to get about you once they hang out with you for a while. In the beginning, we're open to doing and learning new things.
After a while, our partners get irritated when we, say, buy a Sitar and try to learn to play at a time when we are expected to cook dinner.
Too specific?
Let's try this. People tend to form expectations about their partners. I call this "shoulding all over them."
Woman should make dinner.
Men should do all the home repairs.
People should get married.
Maybe the problem is that we settle into boring routines based on shoulds rather than things we truly want or negotiate.
This was the thought I was pondering while eating dinner.
Now -
My name is Siegfred and I'm a workaholic. Covid has made me busier than ever. In fact, the facility I'm working in opened up in late June so my hours have been bizarre. The dreams got more intense when I started working crazy hours.
No matter what, I wake up and hit the ground running. After the dreams started, my sleep hours became incredibly messed up.
One thing has never changed. The only real meal I have is dinner.
Breakfast is typically Kombucha at 0800. Lunch is typically a protein shake (or whatever I can find as I'm running for the door around 1500. Dinner is a salad with cottage cheese at 2359 (midnight).
Today I worked late and ate at the office. The janitor came buy and sat down.
Being polite, I stop munching on my arugula and put my mask on. We chatted for a bit before I decided to go back to work.
In broken English, he apologizes for not letting me eat.
I tell him that no one really wants to eat lettuce at midnight.
He replies "Yeah, eating this late gives people bad dreams."
Oh, it's the food! I've done this most of my life! No wonder I've had this problem forever.
Of course, bad dreams of this guy would haunt me. If I had nightmares of the guys who hit me or tried to kill me dying, I probably wouldn't even remember those.
A childhood friend, that's different.
If changing my eating habits solves the problem, I'm going to get this young man a spectacular gift!
I'll have to find a millennial to figure out what a spectacular gift for a twenty something is these days.
So -
I'll let you know.
Wow!!!
I'm stoked!!
I literally danced all the way home.
If the answer is truly this simple, I'm going to feel incredibly blessed.
This will be life changing!!!!
Love ya,
S.
Next day edit:
I still felt terrified to sleep but I managed to close my eyes a little after 0400 after shopping for that new acoustic-electric.
Although, I didn't find one that I wanted to order, I found a guitar tutor.
Woke up at 0730 and did research for a couple of hours until I fell asleep again.
There were NO nightmares and ZERO creepy dreams - it was just beautiful, restful bliss.
I always knew that too much salad would be bad for me.
just teasing.
This is awesome!
If you're plagued by disturbing dreams of an old boyfriend during Mercury Retrograde, fasting does wonders.
Countdown clock: 28
I'll pray a general wish for his happiness until I have 30 days dream free.
May you find an answer to your most pressing problem today, too.
((( hugs )))
10/23/20:
Countdown clock: 27
I'm starting to feel like myself again.
This is awesome!
Well, maybe not. I just found seven messages in my inbox from a man convinced we are soulmates.
Yeah, his birthday is coming up, too. We had a talk about this over decade ago, he's far too young for me.
Thankfully, it's Friday. I'll add him to the list of people who need a miracle.
It looks like I'll have to start lighting candles for someone else, too. My altar is going to look like an inferno for the next month or so.
Sigh...
1/24/20:
Countdown clock: 26
I did dream of having to choose between two doors - one leading to a mystery surprise and one leading to a mundane life. I didn't make a choice.
This is sad. I'm looking for a new chat app (Duo or Facetime) for my patients. I logged into Google Hangouts to see if it still worked. Apparently, a certain star of my nightmares tried calling in 2015.
I never knew. Still praying he's okay.
Oh, I stepped on the scale and found I lost 12 pounds since I dreamt of the corpse. I need to lose weight but this wasn't' the way to do it. On the bright side, I can start donating my wardrobe. This time, I won't buy anything from a certain company. The labels could the trigger for the dreams.
10/25/20 - 1:36am
Crap, I mindlessly ate a Rolo. Ugh!!! Let's test the theory that the dreams are caused by food.
I'll let you know.
10/25/20 1:41pm
Countdown clock: 30
10/26/20
Countdown clock: 29
Not eating at night really helps.