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Acceptance is the Answer to Everything


My subconscious mind speaks: This song is stuck...in...my...head 
(actually, it's the bass line that is stuck in my head). . 
I don't need anyone, honestly, and I don't have any brain cells to spare. 


Today I am thankful for acceptance. 

I accept I have crazy dreams possibly due to unfinished business 

or 

my fear of getting into another toxic relationship. 

One cannot love easily when one is living in fear. 

Fear and love cannot coexist. 

The fear is keeping me safe.

*****

I sleep better without electronics in my room and decided to relocate my recording studio. 

Last night, I slept about seven hours.  The only thing I remember dreaming about is a gravestone. 

It didn't say anything. 

I got the sense it was mine should I enter into a relationship again. 

So - maybe my mind is working it out. 

*****
The Covid lockdown is making me a bit anxious.  We cannot really do anything or talk to anyone. 

I have to accept that our government leaders are buffoons who don't want criticism so they make it hard for people to get involved.

I'm seeing a lot of waste with regard to addiction treatment funds.  Facilities are misusing the money and leaving some patients homeless and without treatment.  My boss is urging me to join or start a PAC. 

A homeless activist was threatened with arrest for filming the Denver Police stealing stuff from the homeless.  She paid to file an inquiry.  Denver doesn't take complaints seriously.  That's a leadership problem. 

She shouldn't have to pay.  

I'm tired of helping people get clean without anyplace to go.  They end up back on the streets (sometimes with their children).  

If one not using and is homeless, they soon will begin to use to cope with the trauma. 


Maybe this tendency runs in the family. 


Maybe - I need to act more like the Grant side of my family and start fighting battles again.  The best meditation could be hiking the mountain that bears the name of my famous ancestor. 

Jumping into the fray will definitely stop the dreams.  

I won't have time to sleep. 

*****


When you find what you were born to do, embrace it. 

Once you find what that is,  it'll never seem like you have enough time. 

Love you, 

S. 

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