Finally - A Vision of Peace

Today I am thankful for a new hypnopompic vision.

Lately, I've had some wild sleep hours. I fight sleep due to the dreams. Over time, the hour in which I fell asleep moved later and later.

Last night it was 500.

Because my sleep hours are now so funky, I now sleep in one of those silk sleep masks that block out the sun.

When I wake up and am still in that altered state of consciousness, I can see little visions play out in front of my eyes (so to speak).

Today it was tolerable.

I saw my old friend freefalling in the sky.

There were numerous demons and dark figures attacking him from all directions.

An angel grabbed him by his right hand and they began to fly together.

His course was no longer a downward spiral. He was no longer losing altitude.

The dark spirits fell behind and couldn't keep up with my friend.

Perhaps another prayer was answered.

I'll keep praying and lighting little white candles until I have thirty days/night free of dreams of this person.

Love ya,

S.

Well, I also dreamt of a song. I liked it and Googled the lyrics. Google seemed to show that it doesn't exist.

It's been a while since I composed a song in my sleep.

Cool!

let's see what I can remember.

Crap, by the time I grabbed the composition paper, the melody slipped my mind. I shouldn't have taken my recording equipment out of my bedroom. I could have sung it.

Darn....

Edit 10/17/20 - well, I'm back at 30 days....'

more dreams....ugh!

At least he didn't die this time.

Whew!

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing? I imagine they sing songs like this. I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call but wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again. I probably should document this somewhere. My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis. She is his cousin. I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law. She wanted me to plan interventions. This happened with a baby shower. It also happened with a wedding. The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car). I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004. We ran into her at a Wal-mart in 2005 and my keys went mi

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe. It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house. I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling. I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here. It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve. ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb. The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear. Fear that he won't honor his financial

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much. People change over the course of their lives. Healthy people grow. Unhealthy people either stay static or regress. So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies. If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors. I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories. From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory. A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory. When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP. My ex is a ESTP and when he is stressed out

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