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Kudos (with edits)

Today I am thankful for Michael's admission.


I have been angry. 


I have been sick. 


I'm still having trouble holding down food.  I'm told that this will pass in the coming days. 


I want to understand why I'm going through this now. 


I want  to understand why I'm stuck in the situation I find myself in. 


I've been reading about relationship abuse.  The books I've read are helping me define the types of abuse that I've endured (both types were different) and how to overcome it. 


I confronted Michael. 


I told him that he needs to control me.  He'll tell me that I can do anything that I want and then set out to sabotage me.  If his underhanded sabotage tricks do not work,  his sister winds up stalking me.


He admitted to this. 


Case closed:  Michael is the stalker. 


Part of what was driving me nuts was not knowing who was doing what and why.  It was a game of information keep-away. 


I'd be followed by a tall guy and my ex-husband would say it was a guy working for the city.  My friends would notice this tall guy following me and I'd repeat the same thing. 


Then one day, I found myself having coffee with a close friend of the mayor's family.


He noticed that I had been followed.  He refused to let me leave the coffee shop until the man left.  After four hours passed and we both had to utilize the restrooms due to the large amount of coffee we ingested, the mayor's friend had a plan.  He tucked the tablecloth in his belt and stood up.  Coffee flew across the room.  We left during the ensuing chaos. 

Within days, cop cars started sitting outside my house.  To my ex-husband, it was proof that the city was stalking me.


After two years, I complained to a sergeant.  The cop cars were never seen outside my home again. 


The assistant city attorney warned me that my ex-husband was stalking me.  She claimed that this was the real reason they fired him from his city job: he took time off work to follow me. 

She shut up when I asked why she didn't report it to the police. 


I started a business three jurisdictions to the west so that I could avoid all the issues I was having with the city. 


That was when I noticed a different tall, dark haired man follow me.  It didn't bug me too much.


One day, he grabbed my shoulder and said "Hello Satan."


I had just left a lunch date with my high school sweetheart.  Michael had called moments before asking if I were okay. 

This man....he smelled....he smelled familiar!  He smelled like.....Michael!  I knew they had to be related.


This still didn't phase me at all. 


I would later learn that this man was visiting my office and hassling my office mate.   He was taking things from the waiting area. 

I even found pictures of myself strewn outside the office door. 

It still didn't bug me. 


We had an elderly woman who handled our medical insurance billing.  One day this man came in, clutching a photo of me, grabbed her and demanded to know where I was.  He wanted to know where I went to church, where I lived and when I would be at work.  He complained that I wasn't a real Christian because I as a professional hypnotherapist. 

He proceeded to go through her papers. 

She was so scared, she refused to call the police. 

This was when I became scared. 


For two years, I'd catch a woman that looked like an older version of my daughter trying to break into my home.  I'd deal with constant hang up calls.  I found a gps box hanging from my mini-van. 

It wasn't until my father-in-law died in 2013 and people shared photos from the family that I was able to identify who the stalkers were.  They are my in-laws. 


The cops have always maintained that Michael was asking his family to stalk me.  I never knew for sure.  It was hard to believe I was being stalked! 

The cops say that this is why they stationed cop cars in front of my house.  Apparently when cops need a place to do paperwork, they park in front of the homes and businesses that could benefit from police presence. 

I'm still confused. 

At least now the puzzle pieces are starting to fit together nicely.

I told Michael my realization.  I let him know that I was angry at men who try to control me through violence and fear.  If these men don't stop, they have to leave my life. 

He said it was about "damn time" for me to "speak up." 

I thought I'd share.

I'm not sure what to do. 

I can't stand my life.  I hate sleeping alone.  I want a man I can sleep with who won't call me names or belittle me.

I can't find that man until I clean up the mess here.   

I'm seriously thinking about getting the house ready to sell and moving out of state.

I have to formulate a plan. 


The problem with stalking is that it is difficult to pin-point the WHO and the WHY.   It is a confounding crime.  It's not straight forward like bank robbery.  If someone robs a bank, we know why...they want money. 

The only reason to stalk someone is to be a pest. 


In this case it looks like Michael wanted to control me. 


That makes it easier for me to formulate a plan. 

I'll probably keep it to myself until I get it going. 

Love ya,

S.


That is one less thing to worry about now.



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