Today I am thankful that I have a place for documentation.
Michael is inviting himself along to all of my events.
It is NOT stalking if I know about it.
I have told him that I am uncomfortable with it -but- these are public events. I have no business telling him what to do.
It's not like he's harassing people I know to get details about my intimate life. That's what his sister does.
It's not like he's harassing people I know to get details about my intimate life. That's what his sister does.
I've decided that I'm going to go with it for now just because his sister and other relatives never seem to bother me when he is around.
*****
I'm a little bothered by this.
How can I have a life when my ex-husband is hanging around?
Pushing him away tends to result in more stalking.
I am still unclear as to why. The cops say that Michael is my stalker and that he's harassing me to get information about me. Michael says his mother put his sister and other relatives up to harassing me to run me off.
I was run off. We were divorced. I didn't have a lawyer, so getting the orders enforced is becoming an ordeal.
I did manage to begin a transfer of the retirement assets. I guess I should call the bank to see if that was completed.
*****
What I need is a safety plan.
Until I know what to do....until I have my parameters set...I know that upsetting the apple cart will result in more harassment.
I have changed our phone numbers. That has done wonders for the hang up calls!
I have a different car. It barely runs but I haven't seen a gps box hanging off of it.
Mike bought me a phone. I keep it turned off. I had it checked out. It seems clean -but- I wouldn't know a spyware laden phone if it bit me.
I have put a safety plan in place for the children.
I need to put one in place for myself.
Until I can get a safety plan, I'm just going to go with it.
The problem with stalking is that you never know when it will end....ever. I remember in the beginning, when this first started, the cops didn't call it stalking. They called it criminal harassment.
It seems more serious a term than stalking, doesn't it.
It is criminal harassment. It is annoying. I'm frightened and jumpy.
I don't go to the police anymore in part due to my fear that they won't listen to me. I fear they will make things worse. I do have an issue with organization. I have evidence but it is not organized in a coherent fashion.
I need to organize all my stalking stuff. Right now, it is in a box in my garage. It is hidden behind a cabinet filled with canning jars. It is a white shirt box with the words 'toxic' written on the sides.
This details the issues with my former in-laws and the cease and desist letter that I sent to them in 2001. You'll also find answering machine tapes in there, too.
All of the other evidence is scattered in the house. I did throw away the bloody undies and the abortion fliers. I don't know what that was supposed to be. Is this a joke?
If anything happens, it'll give clues that could vindicate Michael and Steve. It will point to problems with Shannon harassing me as far back as 1992.
*****
It could be waning now that the divorce is final.
I haven't seen property damage since last summer when I found my front door damaged (the door frame was pulled away from the door).
I haven't seen Shannon following me since mid-November.
This marks a large chunk of time of being left alone.
I'm hoping they're going to leave me alone.
We'll see.
It tends to pick up in mid-October and end in mid-January. It could correspond to a time of year when Michael's work hours slow down. It could also correspond to events in Michael's family and their desire to reconnect with him. I don't know.
They don't talk to me except to call me Satan.
The shrink I saw today seems to think Michael is my stalker, too. The clue is the fact that he talks about how he liked to sabotage my ability to hold a job because he wanted to take care of me.
Michael has been able to give me interesting insight into why Steve acts the way he does. I'm not sure if that is projection or advice from a guy who has walked that path before. It is scarring me a little bit. It sounds like Steve chose me because I was in a bad situation and easier to manipulate.
I don't know.
I don't know that Michael does it.
I can only prove that Shannon does it.
I'll bide my time and play nice.
Michael is gearing up to have two operations. He needs my help. He'll be nice for a while.
His sister will stay away.
She never stalks me when my ex-husband may actually want her company. I really wished she would have stalked me into the hospital where her brother was having an operation.
I'm sure it would have been welcome.
I don't really have a plan. The only thing I can do is move. That is pretty much the sentiment I am getting from the experts. I cannot control irrational people. I can only change myself and my situation.
I can always use magick -but- I think I am dealing with mentally ill people. I'm not sure casting spells on them will be very helpful. They're crazy. They run around calling me Satan now. If I claim to cast a spell to send a demon after them, what will they say that is any different?
They claim to see a demon now!! I'm the demon. They're not scared. They are prone to following me around!!
No one will listen to them. No one cares.
*****
This business with Steve lying about me and Shannon stalking me has me wondering why crazy people play for such small audiences. Why? Why do that? What do they get out of it?
I'm trying to get in the head of a sociopath. It's hard. If I were going to lie and pretend to be someone that I am not, I'd rather be on Broadway.
*****
I have faith things will work out. It's amazing how much better I feel getting away from an emotionally abusive man. Yeah...I knew he didn't believe me about the stalking. I just didn't know he'd use it against me to tell everyone I was crazy. Men who do that are usually guilty of bad behavior. He's probably afraid of his emails getting out, so he is trying to brand me as nuts.
I wonder......can I send his emails straight to Google drive? That could prove to be interesting if someone runs a Google search on him.
Thank goodness I have several friends who have been with me during episodes of harassment.
I can't believe Steve forgot about the day Shannon watched us sip coffee at Starbucks. Wow....either he has a bad memory or he's stupid.
It's not safe hanging out with someone who doesn't understand why I have to take precautions to keep myself safe. I wish I hadn't let him talk me into ignoring it. I think I set myself up by becoming more visible I my job search.
Thought I'd document that Michael is trying to accompany me everywhere. I figure that could be important someday. I know it means something but I don't quite understand what.....yet.
You know....in darker moments...I wish this hell upon Steve and Michael. Wouldn't it be funny if they met controlling women? Steve could find one who likes to emotionally abuse, lie, triangulate, play mind games, and take advantage of him. Michael could find one who likes to keep him isolated and alone. The darker side of me wants to see them squirm.
Karma will do it for me.
I'll let it go.
Love ya,
S.
Next day edit: I decided not to go to these events until I get a clearer picture of Michael's intentions. I probably shouldn't do anything that will make things worse.