Today I am thankful for the insight of other people who have been stalked.
I am talking about the stalking situation with another INTP. He's hot. He's sweet. He's uber smart. He's talented. He's married....
He was a professional actor.
He gave up his career. I am wondering if it is due to the stalking he's endured. No, I didn't ask.
We do have one thing in common, we do a lot of studio vocal recording.
He has me researching the issue.
He has me looking into therapy options.
He is giving me advice.
He told me how to brace the front door so Shannon can't break in.
I'm happy he has met me online.
I've been looking over some resources that have been shared between us and other stalking victims.
I am seeing things that remind me of Steve.
Steve is NOT my stalker.
I'm not sure who my stalker is. I KNOW who I see trying to break into the house and follow me around. It is typically my sister-in-law, her cousin, or her boyfriend.
I do think I was setting myself up for another stalker-ish situation.
So, I'm going to cut and paste the things that strike me below. I'll post links, too.
I am a little freaked out.
I have done a lot of self-hypnosis lately. Every time I go back into a regression state, I find myself remembering being abused by narcissists in my family.
I think I was wrong about my mother.
She married a narcissist.
I learned how to take abuse from my step-father.
I was raised by my grandparents. When my grandmother became critically ill, I was shipped off to live with an uncle. He was dating a narcissist.
He eventually married her. Her name is Judy. Most of my trauma centers around Judy.
I stay away from my family because of Judy. She's insane. I'm the black sheep so I get blamed for a lot of crazy things.
Judy likes to throw fancy dinner parties.
She used to dig old tampons out of the trash and put them on the dining room table so she could tell everyone how unsanitary I was.
She would tell everyone that I stole her mother's silverware yet use it as a table setting until my relatives confronted her.
When she met my daughter, who was two years old, she told everyone that she had the chicken pox. My child was sent outside in the cold. I wasn't there as I was running an errand for Judy. I returned to the house, saw my kiddo outside and my pissed off relatives trying to console her. I NEVER went back to that house.
I refuse.
I came face to face with Judy two weeks ago after my cousin died. She had put herself in the middle of the funeral. She meddled with it and caused a lot of pain to my family. She literally took over the planning of the event and made a mess of things.
It would appear that without me, she had to find other people to pick on.
My second cousin, Justin, died of melanoma. He was 35. He was adopted. He was smarter and better looking than any of us. He was an actor. He was an entrepreneur. He married a woman with two small boys. He adopted them and had two more little girls. He ran for office. He was a designer (and made the hottest ballroom gowns). He did a lot in his short life.
They say that only the good die young. In this case, it is sad but true.
We were told to arrive at the funeral at 10:00 a.m. My aunt was suspicious. She called and spoke to my uncle who said it was 9:00 but didn't know the details. My uncle told her to call back. She did and Judy answered the phone. Judy told her that the funeral was 10:00.
Now, mind you....Justin was not their child. Justin was their grandchild. Justin's father was my uncle's son.
Judy spread misinformation about the funeral to everybody, including Justin's parents.
The family arrived about 9:30. We stood outside a glass room. Inside the glass room, the actual funeral was taking place. It started at 9:00. Justin's own PARENTS missed the funeral!
Judy was inside the glass room. She kept glancing at us, through the glass, scanning our faces for our reactions.
For days, I had to explain the concept of narcissism to various relatives calling to vent about what they've endured from Judy over the past thirty years. The trick to dealing with that is NOT to let her meddle!
I feel bad. I should have warned them.
My mother was incredibly close to Justin's father and siblings. She was a portrait artist. She did portraits of all of them through the years.
Justin's dad called to get the portraits. He was told that Judy threw out all of my mother's art work.
My family is pissed off
I don't think Judy threw them away. I offered her $500 for each painting. Let's see if they turn up.
Judy is probably the reason I put up with narcissistic abuse. Narcissists can be fun people to be around...at first. I had an aunt tell me that they are fun until they start badmouthing the people they claim to love.
I am terribly worried about Justin's widow. Judy tends to attack people at their weakest point. I am afraid that all of the support she has will dwindle once Judy's mouth starts running.
I'll work on being around for her.
*****
Now I am researching how to recognize a narcissist before I get invested in having a relationship with them. This is the part of the post I will update.
I should say that all sociopaths are narcissists. I copied this verbatim, so it will have a reference to sociopaths and stalkers. Many (not all) narcissists stalk.
This is a biggie. This is STEVE (right down to the threats to sue me over a quote I posted to Facebook)!
This is a biggie. This is STEVE (right down to the threats to sue me over a quote I posted to Facebook)!
Need for Stimulation. Many sociopaths/stalkers live on the edge in one way or another for that is the only way they can “feel normal.” Some need to be in constant drama, constant confrontations or battles with other people. These other people can even be elected officials. Sometimes even institutions such as government are targets. Stalkers often seek to engage in back and forth email rants and hurl threats at others in emails and online forums ,including threats to sue over trivial matters. http://www.skyvalleychronicle.com/FEATURE-NEWS/THE-MIND-OF-THE-STALKER-1230254
(I will post more as time allows)