Today I thankful that I woke up.
Steve texted me while I was doing my Valentine's Day ritual to ask for permission to call me.
My stalker ex-husband sent me a Valentine promising me that I will never be alone so long as he lived and breathed.
I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm going to cry now.
I'd better clean up the house just in case another of my ex-men try to contact me.
If anything fun or funky happens, I'll record it.
Maybe I'll have something more fun to write about soon.
Love ya,
S.
Edit later that night:
Friday is my ritual night for Isis, Osiris, Aphrodite, Dionysus, and Eros.
Today is Valentine's Day, so I had to focus on communing with Aphrodite and Eros.
I did one of my rituals and had visions I'd rather not discuss. I don't see how that is remotely possible. Why would the Goddess put two people through hell to bring them back together?
I don't think so.
It was what I learned while meditating to Isis that shocked me the most. I came away with one tidbit that I won't discuss because I still don't see it.
The other piece...that is what shocked me.
It was the memory of asking to meet the man I was supposed to be with. I asked on Valentine's Day of 2011. I wanted to chase away Thomas and Michael. I wanted to stop wasting their time and my own. That was the prayer...be rid of those that are not meant for me and find the one that was.
I met Steve within six weeks. Typically it takes between 90 to 120 days for a spell to manifest.
That wasn't the part that struck me.
It was the realization that the most painful thing is to meet a soul mate before we are ready to enter into a full relationship with that person. I was warned this would happen. I ignored it due to my sheer curiosity about whether or not someone actually existed for me.
I find it funny that Steve's an Anarchist. Osiris was the ultimate king. He loved freedom. He hated violence. He was said to have "ruled" with love....with a belief in free will. I think he was the precursor to the archetype of Jesus. For a pagan, it is fitting that a petition to Isis and Osiris would yield someone like that for me.
Meeting him before I was ready to be with him hurt me. It is hurting me. It is hurting him.
In my meditation, I was told to pray to ask that all those blocks in the way of a relationship be moved.
I'll do that but I still don't understand what kind of relationship we are supposed to have. I don't mean to be stupid -but- we don't communicate well.
Wish #1: remove blocks to communication.
What else......money? housing? depression? sadness? emotional baggage from the past? stalkers?
There was something that I never told anyone before. It was a meditation I was doing to Isis early last year. She told me that I loved Steve. I denied it. In the vision, she said that he would die of lung cancer in 2017. I started to cry. She smiled and said, "I told you that you love him."
In the visions, I saw that he was a smoker. I have never seen him with a cigarette...ever. Still, I begged her to help him find the motivation to stop smoking. He is now using e-cigarettes.
I don't know....I truly do not know.
The funny thing is that when I am at Steve's house and want to leave, I will fall asleep and dream of Isis. Once I dreamt of an Ifrit who warned me that it was impossible to find a man willing to tolerate me. Finding another guy was one wish it would be impossible for a genie to fulfill. That was an epic dream.
I'm off to offer champaign to Aphrodite asking for the return of my sex drive.
I still fear asking Eros for anything. Those arrows hurt like hell.
Love ya lots,
S.
Edit later that night:
Friday is my ritual night for Isis, Osiris, Aphrodite, Dionysus, and Eros.
Today is Valentine's Day, so I had to focus on communing with Aphrodite and Eros.
I did one of my rituals and had visions I'd rather not discuss. I don't see how that is remotely possible. Why would the Goddess put two people through hell to bring them back together?
I don't think so.
It was what I learned while meditating to Isis that shocked me the most. I came away with one tidbit that I won't discuss because I still don't see it.
The other piece...that is what shocked me.
It was the memory of asking to meet the man I was supposed to be with. I asked on Valentine's Day of 2011. I wanted to chase away Thomas and Michael. I wanted to stop wasting their time and my own. That was the prayer...be rid of those that are not meant for me and find the one that was.
I met Steve within six weeks. Typically it takes between 90 to 120 days for a spell to manifest.
That wasn't the part that struck me.
It was the realization that the most painful thing is to meet a soul mate before we are ready to enter into a full relationship with that person. I was warned this would happen. I ignored it due to my sheer curiosity about whether or not someone actually existed for me.
I find it funny that Steve's an Anarchist. Osiris was the ultimate king. He loved freedom. He hated violence. He was said to have "ruled" with love....with a belief in free will. I think he was the precursor to the archetype of Jesus. For a pagan, it is fitting that a petition to Isis and Osiris would yield someone like that for me.
Meeting him before I was ready to be with him hurt me. It is hurting me. It is hurting him.
In my meditation, I was told to pray to ask that all those blocks in the way of a relationship be moved.
I'll do that but I still don't understand what kind of relationship we are supposed to have. I don't mean to be stupid -but- we don't communicate well.
Wish #1: remove blocks to communication.
What else......money? housing? depression? sadness? emotional baggage from the past? stalkers?
There was something that I never told anyone before. It was a meditation I was doing to Isis early last year. She told me that I loved Steve. I denied it. In the vision, she said that he would die of lung cancer in 2017. I started to cry. She smiled and said, "I told you that you love him."
In the visions, I saw that he was a smoker. I have never seen him with a cigarette...ever. Still, I begged her to help him find the motivation to stop smoking. He is now using e-cigarettes.
I don't know....I truly do not know.
The funny thing is that when I am at Steve's house and want to leave, I will fall asleep and dream of Isis. Once I dreamt of an Ifrit who warned me that it was impossible to find a man willing to tolerate me. Finding another guy was one wish it would be impossible for a genie to fulfill. That was an epic dream.
I'm off to offer champaign to Aphrodite asking for the return of my sex drive.
I still fear asking Eros for anything. Those arrows hurt like hell.
Love ya lots,
S.