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Day of Venus

 
Today I am thankful that it is Friday.

Friday is the Day of Venus, the day I celebrate Isis and Osiris.  The beautiful yet loyal goddess and her husband who hated violence. 
Isis is the Egyptian form of Aphrodite. 

I will ask what they were thinking when they brought Steve into my life.  What in the world?  Can he find the one he is meant for?  He obviously does NOT want me: He keeps trying to change me.

I will offer fish.   I will light my musk incense and wonder what in the world I am supposed to do now. 

I'll let you know. 

I'm tired of crying. 

Love ya,

S. 



Next Morning Edit: 
I had a dream of Isis watching us from above.  In this dream, I am walking along with Steve.  I'm holding his hand.  He lets go and runs ahead.  I run ahead to catch up to him and hold his hand.  He lets go again. 

A beautiful woman who is 35 years old, petite, with dark wavy hair, and wearing a white dress with little red flowers runs up to him and grabs his hand.  He refuses to let go of either one of us. 

I wind up letting go. 


I wish I would have looked at her shoes.  If they were white, it could mean that he meets her in the spring or summer.  If I have the dream again, I'll look. 

My sense is that the dark haired woman is his soulmate.  I asked Isis to bring her to him.  I get the sense that she works near his home in an outdoor mall.  That ought to make it easier for them to be together. 


Now...it is time for the test.  If a cat eats the fish I used in the spell, the spell will hold. 

I hope Steve finds someone who doesn't mind constant criticism.  I can't cope with it.  I don't know how to respond.  If I did, I'd have called him by now. 


I know it is due to insecurity.  I know he wants reassurance.  I don't know how to give it to him.
I don't know what to do. 


I'll update if a cat comes to the crossroads and eats the fish.  I bought two fillets of boneless Tilapia.   It's on a piece of fine china. If a cat is tempted to eat it, it assures the success of the spell.

Saturday Night Edit:


It was a mystical looking day.  The ground was still warm because yesterday was a hot day.  It snowed today and was bitterly cold.  The snow made a thick fog layer close to the warm ground on the path where I left my offering.  I was sure that sight was a good omen.  I was sure that Isis would accept my petition to find that raven haired woman for Steve.

I didn't see a feline in sight.  I returned to the crossroads this evening.  Both fillets were untouched.  I left the plate there.  Maybe someone would like a nice piece of china.

Do I try again next week?


Do I just leave it alone?


I don't know. 

I am still hurt by all those projections.  I can't drive my car without crying because it smells like him.
 

He claimed I lacked self-esteem. He blames me for all of the arguments.  He wants a deep sexual connection yet I haven't seen him in five weeks.  We haven't been able to talk.  He badmouths me on Facebook. I can't cope with this anymore.  I know it is projection.  I know he is depressed.  I think my presence makes it worse. 

I didn't feel like this six months ago.  I was in pain but I could still function in the world.  All of the pointless emails have caused me to doubt myself.  I have to get over his ugly words and accusations.

I don't know. 

Maybe I'm not supposed to know if she finds her. 

I sure hope he does.

My prayers for Steve to find his raven haired love were not answered.  I guess it is up to him to ask for her.


Love ya,


S.



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