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Talking Snores



Today I am thankful for the way my friend snores.  

I know it is silly.

I understand now that he meant it when he said that he didn't want sex.

He doesn't want sex.

He wants to have a companion and not be alone.

I get it now.

On the day of Venus, during a New Moon in Scorpio, I drank too much wine and stayed with him.

I tried to sleep in his bed.

I couldn't.

I wanted to keep my hand on his back and send loving energy, through his clothing and into his heart as he slept facing away from me.

He was a perfect gentleman.

I think he was perfect.

As he slept, his foot had to touch mine to make sure I was still there.

I watched the sunrise.

I got out of bed hoping to sneak out to get us some coffee or tea.

Instead my phone went off and I ended up spending two hours taking care of business. 

He noticed I was gone and tried to convince me to fall asleep before trying to drive home.

I couldn't sleep.

I couldn't drive home either until I napped in a parking lot.

I should have taken his advice.

I always pay when I do not listen to him.

I haven't slept with another person in years.

I have no clue how to do that now.

It was beautiful.

For one night, I did not cry myself to sleep because I was alone.

I held back tears because I was with someone I cared about.

I felt safe. 

It was beautiful. 

Yeah, okay....yes, I was in tears from the emotion of it all.

I still am.

What strikes me as incredibly wonderful....and unique.... is the noise that my friend makes when he sleeps.

It's not a snore....exactly...but the way he breathes...it sounds like he is saying

"here....here...here....here....here...here...here..."

It is a consistent rhythmic and hypnotic whisper.

I thought about taping it for him but I did not.

Yes, I am female and, yes, I am prone to hearing what I want to hear.

I'll still take this as an omen.

I spent the past twelve years wondering where I belonged.

I'm wondering if I got an answer.

I don't know.

I prayed to Isis and Osiris again tonight asking for help in preparing for a new relationship.  I want my baggage cleaned up.

During that prayer, it dawned on me that I must be the luckiest woman in the world.

My best friend is handsome.

My best friend loves me.

My best friend respects me.

My best friend is incredibly patient with me.

I'm not sure many women get to say that.

Love ya,

S.

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