Skip to main content

Tactful Honesty

Today I am thankful that I am tactfully honest.

Sadly, my ex is not honest nor is he tactful. 

There is a little tiny mini-tantrum going on in the basement. 

Right now...

I'm afraid.

I'll type this out just in case something happens. 

If I prepare nothing will happen. 

So, I'll prepare. 

I asked my ex to schedule a final hearing at his convenience.  I just need him to understand that if he drags out our divorce to get himself a larger income tax refund, he's going to be legally married to me with the understanding that I want to be with another man. 

He was not happy with me at all! 

He said that he expected this conversation on Saturday. 

I did not believe that the conversation was necessary until today. 

Today my ex made it known that he took the whole divorce as a joke.  He didn't think it would possibly go through. 

Well....it did. 

The paperwork is filed and ready to go. 

We can do it now. 

We can do it after the first of the year if he wants to get a $5,000 tax refund.  

I don't care. 

Sigh....

Doesn't it take two people to stay married? 

I'm a little confused. 

I'm a little upset. 

I'm going to cry myself to sleep. 

If I don't post for a few days, I wound up at the shelter. 

This is usually the point where I give up on the idea of leaving and end up staying for his convenience.  I'm realizing that I didn't want him living with me in 1994 but this type of temporary drama happened.  Once the temporary drama sets up the situation the way he wants it, it becomes permanent. 

I do not believe my ex will leave the house.  I don't think it matters what any divorce decree/separation agreement says. 

I'm going to have to be the one to move -or- I am going to have to go back to being alone.  If I give up my friend, my ex will quit being obnoxious.  He'll quit flirting and he'll quit tantruming.

I just don't understand....who goes through a divorce believing it cannot go through because he wills it not to?

I'd hitchhike to Utah but I signed away my rights to move more than ten miles away from the current house.  I'm realizing that separation/divorce agreements only pertain to me. 

I am certainly confused and sad....

Love ya,

S. 

Edit Sixteen Hours Later:

Okay....

The mini-tantrum gave way to two very long and whiny emails. 

One telling me that he is willing to live here, with me, through January 2014 even though I want to date (and do all sorts of nasty fun things with) my friend. 

In that email he acknowledged that he said he would divorce me in 2007 and that he is being delusional when he thinks I'm going to stay with him. 

In the other email, he told me to schedule that final hearing at my convenience, although it will give him a net increase of $5,000 if I wait until January 1st.  He wants to live with me while the divorce is pending. 

Ugh!!! 

Where in the world does a legal agreement promising to move out by October 21st translate into living with me through the New Year?

Who says that I'm sane enough to grab my friend's arse, throw him on the floor, and make a meal out of him without getting my crazy vibes all over him? 

Men!!! 

There are days when they drive me completely bonkers. 

Heck....there are years when they do that. 

I'm going to need a huggie jacket. 

When I say I need a commitment, I'm thinking that I need a trip to the mental hospital. 

Yes, any man trying to define himself as my beau is going to scare me away right now. 

I wonder if I can find a porn star that looks enough like me to fool my ex.  Maybe I can buy a porno, stick it in his VCR, and try to pass the chick off as me with a ton of body make-up.  

That could be proof positive that I am some kind of whore. 

That could make him leave.

Maybe....

With my luck, that would probably backfire, huh? 

He'd want me to do all those filthy things to him! 

I'll leave it alone! 

Hoping to run off and hide in a cave somewhere,

S.

YIKES!! 

Popular posts from this blog

Stalker Proxy Phone Calls

What kind of songs do narcissistic stalkers sing?  I imagine they sing songs like this.   I am grateful now that I understand why the stalker has people call  but   wish they'd listen when I ask them not to call again.  I probably should document this somewhere.  My ex was talking to an old friend of mine from high school on a daily basis.  She is his cousin.   I had to quit talking to her when she'd ask me to plan parties and then refuse to give me the guest list saying that the attendees would only be me, her, my stalker Shannon, and my NPD mother-in-law.   She wanted me to plan interventions.   This happened with a baby shower.  It also happened with a wedding.  The in-laws put together a fake wedding trying to host an intervention to shame me and my ex into doing things for them (like quit school and give them my car).   I had to cut this so-called friend off over that in 2004....

The Love Gods Have a Sense of Humor

Today I am thankful about the ever-changeable, ever-humorous universe.   It is said that 'in life, the only constant is change.' Ah, this is a true tidbit, isn't it? I recently vowed NOT to date until Michael officially moves out of the house.  I also vowed NOT to be close to him unless he signs up for FOO (Family of Origin) and Relationship counseling.  I've been with the man nearly a quarter of a century, he's not going to go to therapy to have a relationship with me. He plays games with money, divorce agreements, custody arrangements, transportation, and all sorts of things to keep me stuck here.  It's nothing money and a lawyer can't solve.  ***** They say that dysfunctional people have three weapons that they use to keep people under their thumb.  The acronym is FOG. Yes, they are FOG machines. What does FOG stand for? F ear O bligation -and- G uilt Yes, there is fear.  Fear that he won't honor hi...

Personality Theory

Today I am thankful for personality theory. I can't say that I buy into it very much.  People change over the course of their lives.  Healthy people grow.  Unhealthy people either stay static or regress.  So what one tests today may change tomorrow. I do believe that personality theories (even ancient ones like astrology) create self-fulfilling prophecies.  If people buy into it, it gives a lot of insight into their characters, needs, and behaviors.   I've spent most of my adult life studying personality theories.  From Eric Fromm's theory's about authoritian -vs- mature personalities and how authoritians fear power while mature people revel in it to Jung's introvert -vs- extrovert theory.  A major one of interest to me is an offshoot of Jung, it is the MBTI type inventory.  When I'm happy, I'm a textbook INFJ. When I'm pissed off and wanting to strangle my ex, I act like a ESTP.  My ex is a ESTP a...