Today I am thankful that I fell in love with a genius.
Yep...
He wants to make our relationship official over the Internet.
I wasn't sure how to take it at all.
Everyone I know seems to know that we're seeing each other. In fact, it was my friends who pushed me to file or a divorce because there are nicer men out there who adore me.
Read....
nicer men = one man who seems to go crazy and nitpick all of our mutual friends to death when I do not notice his sexual tension.
When my friend left me, my friends told me that he'd come back.
He did.
Everyone knows.
It's been nearly three years.
Everyone....knows!
So, it is not a big secret.
*****
My friend has been trying to seal the deal since January.
Every time he talks about defining relationships or making it official, I panic and grab my keys. He gives me this shocked but pitiful look and drops the subject.
If he sets up expensive camping trips where we share the same tent, I'll miraculously have somewhere else to be.
I am a slippery little fish.
I don't like getting caught.
*****
Last weekend, he just decided to do what he wanted to do. If I complain or seem scared, he'll change course. If I push him away, he'll talk about why.
He started just doing those things he wants to do. Going for it is easier on him than waiting around for it.
If I could live that way, I would get a heck of a lot of things done.
******
So....I am now .....uh.....we are now officially in a relationship.
I guess we have been in one for several months.
It feels weird to me.
It's nice, though.
In the morning, when I go through the want ads, I will balk at getting a job because I fear my ex or his sister will interfere.
Today, the thought was.....ooooh, if I get that job I could buy my friend that gold kilt pin I've been eyeing!!!
It feels different already.
I feel like I can conquer the world if I wanted to. I don't....but I could!
*****
I joined a prosperity mastermind group. We were supposed to come up with three things we wanted to create in our lives within the next 21 days.
I was supposed to post them online. I never did.
There are my goals.
1. A means to earn $4,000 a month working 40 hours a week.
2. Get closer to my best friend and remove any barriers in the way.
3. Find two decent running cars.
It's been three days. Number 2 has already materialized.
My mentor took note! I do have an abundant life.
*****
My friend is brilliant.
He may not know it but he's a smart cookie.
If I stay one night at his place, for whatever reason, it defines a relationship in the minds of other people. My ex started to realize that we were never going to get back together that night.
My ex has been a very kind person since that day.
My ex has also started to follow me on Facebook. Defining the relationship on Facebook has the net effect of sticking it out there, seeing how the community cheers it on, and extinguishes any thought my ex has about me staying.
My ex got himself some moving boxes today.
I'm so happy, I could kiss my friend (uh....boyfriend).
I haven't kissed him the way a man ought to be kissed. A little friendly peck on the forehead is all he's ever received from me.
Perhaps it is time to change that.
Love,
S.
Edit twelve hours later:
I am flippin' exhausted.
I just spent eight hours dealing with the ex.
I hurt from the exchange.
His mother sent a legal looking letter hoping to get my ex's forwarding address. I handed the letter to him and asked if we needed to set up rules around dealing with his mail.
I tried to alert him to the letters existence via Facebook but he unfriended me this morning (due to my updated relationship status).
He had to make it a point to let me know that he unfriended me on all the social networks for my friend's benefit.
So, in turn, I blocked my ex so he couldn't see anything that I was doing for his benefit.
He didn't like that.
He refriended me. I don't know....this is insane.
All night......all I heard was that 'this divorce cannot happen' -but- that he's got to end his "denial".
He goes on and on about how my friend is a lucky man. He is jealous because my friend makes me happy.
My ex tells me that he will never date because he thinks that he was meant for me.
Yadda....yadda....yadda....
It is enough to make me want to crawl in a hole and die.
If this is how all relationships end, why do I want another one?
I never want to see my friend hurt like this.
Never!!!
All it does is make me feel guilty.
All it does is make me cry.
We slept apart for over eight years! He started sleeping apart from me eighteen months into the marriage over lies his mother told!
We'd try to reconcile but it was always short lived.
I used to cry myself to sleep because I was alone.
On Friday night, I cried myself to sleep because I wasn't alone and it was nice.
If all I do is cry, I can see why I'm alone.
Geez!
I found someone who lets me share his bed, granted I was drunk and unable to drive -
but he shared his pillows with me.
That's something.....isn't it?
Why in the world does my ex do that?
Why is he trying to make me feel guilty and obligated to stay married to him?
He didn't want me until I wanted someone else?
What the heck?
It hurts me.
All I want is for everyone to be happy.
I guess that is a tall order.
I don't want to cry any more.
There is a solution to the mail issue.
My ex and I found a way to ensure that if his mother sends crap here, she will never get his forwarding address from me. She needs to stop sending legal looking letters here. He simply round files them.
He will NOT get a forwarding address. I will simply give him a key to the garage and he will retrieve his mail there.
In the past, when my ex would throw away things his mother had sent, one of my in-laws would follow me around in public and claim that I willfully withheld mail from him. My brother-in-law followed me into a witch's convention one fall night and did this (circa 2006). He claimed I didn't give my ex an invitation to his wedding. When I reminded him that he was married to his wife ten years before the invitation arrived, he admitted that he had set up a fake renewal of vows as a kind of intervention to force my ex to visit with their mother. The other intendees would have been my ex and his mother.
Those are the games I do not want to be a part of. I just give the mail to my ex and he does with it as he will.
It didn't matter what I said, my brother-in-law continued to harass me at this Pagan Fair. I was talking to a dark sorceress when he continued to taunt me. She gave me a vial of banishing oil (olive oil steeped in the juices of various hot peppers). A box fell on him and he hurt his back at work the next day.
There was no spell attached to it. I just showed him the bottle of banishing oil.
Sigh.....I'm tired of this.
Please....guys....just....
Leave me out of it.
Wasn't it enough to stalk me?
I never want to see any of my former in-laws ever again.
Seriously....
I still have that banishing oil, too!
Love ya,
S.
Edit twelve hours later:
I am flippin' exhausted.
I just spent eight hours dealing with the ex.
I hurt from the exchange.
His mother sent a legal looking letter hoping to get my ex's forwarding address. I handed the letter to him and asked if we needed to set up rules around dealing with his mail.
I tried to alert him to the letters existence via Facebook but he unfriended me this morning (due to my updated relationship status).
He had to make it a point to let me know that he unfriended me on all the social networks for my friend's benefit.
So, in turn, I blocked my ex so he couldn't see anything that I was doing for his benefit.
He didn't like that.
He refriended me. I don't know....this is insane.
All night......all I heard was that 'this divorce cannot happen' -but- that he's got to end his "denial".
He goes on and on about how my friend is a lucky man. He is jealous because my friend makes me happy.
My ex tells me that he will never date because he thinks that he was meant for me.
Yadda....yadda....yadda....
It is enough to make me want to crawl in a hole and die.
If this is how all relationships end, why do I want another one?
I never want to see my friend hurt like this.
Never!!!
All it does is make me feel guilty.
All it does is make me cry.
We slept apart for over eight years! He started sleeping apart from me eighteen months into the marriage over lies his mother told!
We'd try to reconcile but it was always short lived.
I used to cry myself to sleep because I was alone.
On Friday night, I cried myself to sleep because I wasn't alone and it was nice.
If all I do is cry, I can see why I'm alone.
Geez!
I found someone who lets me share his bed, granted I was drunk and unable to drive -
but he shared his pillows with me.
That's something.....isn't it?
*****
Why in the world does my ex do that?
Why is he trying to make me feel guilty and obligated to stay married to him?
He didn't want me until I wanted someone else?
What the heck?
It hurts me.
All I want is for everyone to be happy.
I guess that is a tall order.
I don't want to cry any more.
There is a solution to the mail issue.
My ex and I found a way to ensure that if his mother sends crap here, she will never get his forwarding address from me. She needs to stop sending legal looking letters here. He simply round files them.
He will NOT get a forwarding address. I will simply give him a key to the garage and he will retrieve his mail there.
In the past, when my ex would throw away things his mother had sent, one of my in-laws would follow me around in public and claim that I willfully withheld mail from him. My brother-in-law followed me into a witch's convention one fall night and did this (circa 2006). He claimed I didn't give my ex an invitation to his wedding. When I reminded him that he was married to his wife ten years before the invitation arrived, he admitted that he had set up a fake renewal of vows as a kind of intervention to force my ex to visit with their mother. The other intendees would have been my ex and his mother.
Those are the games I do not want to be a part of. I just give the mail to my ex and he does with it as he will.
It didn't matter what I said, my brother-in-law continued to harass me at this Pagan Fair. I was talking to a dark sorceress when he continued to taunt me. She gave me a vial of banishing oil (olive oil steeped in the juices of various hot peppers). A box fell on him and he hurt his back at work the next day.
There was no spell attached to it. I just showed him the bottle of banishing oil.
Sigh.....I'm tired of this.
Please....guys....just....
Leave me out of it.
Wasn't it enough to stalk me?
I never want to see any of my former in-laws ever again.
Seriously....
I still have that banishing oil, too!
Love ya,
S.