Today I am thankful that I have a place to document the crap.
It's kinda weird that this has become a blog of creepy stuff rather than a gratitude statement.
I'll just go with it.
I forgot to make tea for his lunch. I think he's punishing me.
I'm working on a project for two friends who think they can make me a millionaire. It's so cute. They think that my voice can make me rich.
I'm sleeping less than four hours a day.
The house is a mess.
I've been taking the kids, one by one, to their dental check-ups.
I'm trying to get him to help me make a plan just in case his assertion that his sister and her friend are the stalkers. He ignores me.
When he gets mad at me, the house gets messy and my car keys go missing.
To remedy this, I keep my car keys in my car at night. It's in a locked garage.
Now, he's taken to locking my car for me as he leaves for work. The keys are still inside mind you.
He has the spare pair.
He won't answer the phone.
Of course, he managed to fix the broken window that I used to use to break into the car when he did this in the past.
So, today I ended up walking three children to three different schools over the course of three different hours. The youngest was really tired by the time she arrived to school.
I've decided to outwit the mean one.
It's not that hard.
I wonder if they have fake GPS devices that I can hide things in?
It was an exhausting morning, so I ended up falling asleep for three hours. I had a dream. Not a cool important dream, like Martin Luther King, but a memory.
I remembered my high school reunions.
These took place after he called me his ex. These took place when he wanted that 'fake marriage' and told me that I could see other people.
We had agreed that I would attend the minor events alone (due to our propensity to act coldly with each other) and that he would go to the fancy galas. This came about because once he started getting violent en route to a reunion and I ended up getting out of the van with a raging lunatic in the middle of a busy street. One of my friends witnessed the whole thing and has been trying to get me out of here since. That was in 2006. I don't like him going anymore. It is embarassing.
There were two reunions where I remember him hanging nearby watching me.
One was a tour of the old High School. He wanted to use my car for something or another, so he said he would drop me off and take the girls back home and wait for my call later that day. I found him and the girls lurking across the street two hours later. They had been there the whole time.
I felt guilty for going and the girls staying there so long that I left early and went home.
Then, there was a high school reunion at a park. He lingered on the other side of a stream watching me the entire day. I felt guilty that he wasn't part of the picnic.
I did not reward him by inviting him to hang out with me. I spent most of the day listening to a classmate verbally sort through issues with her dying mother.
He does stalk. He doesn't think it is stalking. He is keeping tabs on me.
I am a little creeped out.
For what it's worth, I'll type it out. It has to be him.
I'm eating a lot of junk food. I don't have money for groceries, so the kids get what is in the cupboard. I'm eating those disgusting cookies that we found for thirty cents a bag on those Christmas clearance sales.
I don't feel so well anymore.
On the bright side, he keeps telling me that all men want a trophy wife. I'm not going to be much of a trophy anymore.
I don't get it. It would appear that I have to look like I'm happy and in love even if the reality is far different.
This is hard to understand.
Love ya,
S.