Today I am thankful for bad jokes.
How many 'friend-zoned' guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they’d just compliment it and get pissed when it won’t screw.
Uh....
the rushing into relationships by screwing women thingy....
is the reason why men have battle scarred hearts.
If he wants it to last, he'll be more open.
If he wants a fling, it may be wise to look elsewhere for the next sixty days.
I won't cheat. A judge is going to have to make it crystal clear for Mr. Denial that the relationship is over.
I met a man who is is a mirror for me. It is uncanny. There is something intriguing about that. I can't define it. It just is.
I just don't know how to communicate. I'm torn between loyalty for someone not so loyal towards me and getting some poor third party sucked into drama that, in all reality, shouldn't even exist.
There is a plan. I can tell him about it. It's not something I'm going to broadcast. Last time I did that, a bunch of conservative politicians persuaded me to stay here. That act destroyed not only my career, it took my savings and bankrupted me.
I like to keep some things close to the vest.
My friend and I don't really talk enough to fall hard and heavy anyway. I know it is because of the stalking. How in the heck do I get out of the house without my stalker escort. If he's not with me, the stalker is.
They say it is proximity of time and place that causes people to act on pangs of love.
Distance will dampen it.
This shouldn't be so hard.
Ugh....Bad pun.....
Still, if it is meant to be, shouldn't the stars align in such a way that I find a job, great therapist, and an apartment to compliment my divorce lawyer*.
What is this defining relationships by sex thing? Why does it mean I don't love anyone?
I love my friend enough to keep him free to screw others and keep him safe.
Who is to say that my not screwing him isn't an act of love? Does he want to meet my stalker and his proxies?
Geesh!
And, yeah, I think I am gaining weight in an attempt to turn him off. I'll stop that. I must've gained twenty pounds since he stared into my eyes sixteen months ago. I miss my size eight wardrobe.
Every night I crawl into an empty bed. I cry. It hurts. I hate it. I think of my friend. I pray he finds the love of his life. I'm in so much pain that I cannot imagine anyone being happy with me.
There have been accusations that I have forgotten about love.
It's not that I forgot what love feels like. I feel it all the time. I feel it when I share my lunch or bus money with homeless people. I feel it when I help a little kid or donate money to someone in need.
I feel it all the time.
It is love coupled with desire that I forgot about.
I don't have a clue what to do with that now.
It's been too long.
The mind plays tricks.
How do I know it's real?
How do we avoid the traps that ruined the relationships that came before?
How do people make the most of opportunities?
How do people find balance?
How does one leave one relationship and get healthy enough for their baggage not to impact a new one?
It's not simple, is it?
I could just love....and do things that come naturally...and end up hurting people in the process. I just don't want to hurt my friend. There is nothing wrong with being my friend.
He should aim to be my best friend. My best friend gets anything he wants.
Love ya,
S.
*I would like to thank my friend for not arguing with the divorce lawyer anymore. He and the lawyer used to get into heated arguments on Facebook. I never jumped in because...his firm is basically taking me on for next to nothing. If I survive this, it is because they understand how dangerous this is becoming for me.